He makes the bullshit run on time

Saw the cover of Glenn Beck’s forthcoming book on some blog this morning, had to check on Amazon.com that it wasn’t photoshopped. It wasn’t.


But did it work better in the original Italian?

Good behaviour

Muntadar al-Zeidi, the man who threw the shoes at George Bush, will be released next month from prison after serving only 9 months, due to “good behaviour.” Throwing the shoes in the first place was, of course, awesome behaviour.

Chris Wallace’s unenhanced interrogation of Dick Cheney

Headline of the Day (London Sunday Times): “Blowpipes Thwart Borneo’s Biofuel Kings.”

Speaking of things that shoot poison darts, the transcript of Dick Cheney’s interview on Fox, mentioned in a previous post, is now out.

He complained about the Justice Dept’s new investigation of CIA torture of prisoners. This has been, he said, “completely reviewed by the Justice Department in years past,” but is now being reviewed by “a political appointee” – it’s unclear whether he means the attorney general or the prosecutor, but either way he’s comparing the “political appointees” in Obama’s Justice Dept with the likes of Gonzales and Yoo, who were... wait for it... “professionals.” “The matter’s been dealt with the way you would expect it to be dealt with by professionals.” Actually, a cover-up is pretty much how most of us have come to expect professionals to deal with something embarrassing and nasty.

AND IF THERE’S ONE THING CHENEY HATES, IT’S TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PRECEDENTS: Cheney says that the investigation is “a terrible, terrible precedent.” He worries that, “if they are now going to be subject to being investigated and prosecuted by the next administration, nobody’s going to sign up for those kinds of missions.” Where will we get the torturers of the future?

NO OTHER RATIONALE: The investigation is “clearly a political move. I mean, there’s no other rationale for why they’re doing this”. In Cheney’s world, everyone is just as Machiavellian as he is.

WHAT OFFENDS THE HELL OUT OF HIM: “I guess the other thing that offends the hell out of me, frankly, Chris, is we had a track record now of eight years of defending the nation against any further mass casualty attacks from Al Qaeda. The approach of the Obama administration should be to come to those people who were involved in that policy and say, how did you do it? What were the keys to keeping this country safe over that period of time?”

On prisoners being threatened with an electric drill: “It was never used on the individual”. So that’s okay then.

He gave an example of how this investigation is destroying the CIA’s ability to keep us from a fiery nuclear holocaust: “ Just today, for example, the courts in Pakistan have ruled that A. Q. Khan, the father of the Pakistan nuclear weapon man who provided assistance to the Iranians, the North Koreans, the Libyans, has now been released from custody.” Technically, house arrest. “It is very, very important we find out and know long term what he is up to. He is, so far, the worst proliferator of nuclear technology in recent history. Now we have got agents and people out at the agency who ought to be on that case and worried about it, but they are going to have to spend time hiring lawyers at their own expense in order to defend themselves against the possibility of charges.” Really, the guy with the drill was going to be investigating A. Q. Khan?

He says he’s perfectly happy being back in private life: “Over the years, you know, I’ve sacrificed a lot in order to be able to do those things I’ve done in the public sector.” Goats, chickens, babies...

Good policy, properly carried out

In an interview with Fox to be aired Sunday, Cheney says that he’s okay with CIA interrogators having used torture techniques beyond those authorized by the Justice Dept, calling them “good policy... properly carried out. It worked very, very well.” Don’t know if Chris Wallace asked him specifically if the creative use of power tools and threats to rape detainees’ mothers were good policy, properly carried out (I’m gonna guess not), but he did get Cheney to say that he was aware of the use of waterboarding, though “not specifically in any one particular case, but as a general policy that we had approved.”

But here’s my favorite example of Cheney being Cheney: he said Obama should have personally stepped in to quash Attorney General Holder’s decision to hold any inquiry at all: “The president of the United States is the chief law enforcement officer in the land. I think he’s trying to duck the responsibility for what’s going on here. And I think it’s wrong.” So Cheney wants no investigation of the torture he was responsible for, but it’s Obama who’s ducking his responsibility. And it’s Obama’s job as chief law enforcement officer to ensure that the law is not enforced.

(h/t to Smintheus)

Sorted

Today Silvio Berlusconi will take part in a religious ceremony to absolve his sins, the Perdonanza. So that takes care of that.

He will be accompanied by his equal opportunities minister Mara Carfagna.


That’s right: Silvio Berlusconi, going to a ceremony to receive a plenary indulgence, brought a date.

Poignant

Headline of the Day (Misread-Because-I-Need-a-Nap category): “Sen. Kennedy’s Body Begins Final Poignant Tour.” Poignant, it says, not pungent. Poignant.

Smell like the future

The British press notes that in Babaji in Helmand province, where four British soldiers were killed during operations designed to provide security for the Afghan elections, just 150 voted.

---

For the geek who has everything except, obviously, a girlfriend: Star Trek colognes.
Comes in Tiberius, Red Shirt (“Smell like the future, because tomorrow may never come”), and Pon Farr fragrances. CONTEST: Name some other possible Trek-themed colognes.

It is not hard for us to do the same things they did

Iraqi PM Maliki demands that Syria hand over people he blames for the recent spate of bombings (it couldn’t be Iraqis, they’re such a peaceful people), adding “Neighboring countries should behave like good neighbors because it is not hard for us to do the same things they did.” Er, did he just threaten to sponsor terrorist attacks on Syria if his demands are not met?

Gordon Brown says he was “repulsed” by the celebratory reception of convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdul Baset Ali al-Megrahi in Libya, adding, “But then I’m a Scot; I’m repulsed by the sight of anyone enjoying themselves.”

Is Dominick Dunne the Aldous Huxley of our time?

Wherein polite euphemisms piss off your intrepid blogger

McNeil-Lehrer yesterday: “Another detainee was told his mother and family would be sexually abused in front of him.”

Raped. Not “sexually abused,” Ray Suarez, raped. Say it.

I heard an inference

Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill is complaining that Abdul Baset Ali al-Megrahi, the Lockerbie bomber he ordered released, has shown “no sensitivity” in attending those celebrations of his return to Libya. It’s shocking, airplane bombers being renowned for their sensitivity.

---

The WaPo reports that Arlen Specter has called on the VA to stop using the “death book,” waits until 10th paragraph to note that Specter admits not having bothered to read the death book. However, “I heard an inference that people might be inappropriately influenced to withhold medical treatment.” Wherever there’s an inference beatin’ up a guy, Arlen’ll be there.

Sight-seeing

London Times headline: “Berlusconi Defies His Critics to Visit Gadaffi for Independence Day.”

Gadaffi has an all-female bodyguard.

‘Nuf said.

Beware the Death Book... of Death!

Sarah Palin’s ghost-Facebooker posted a link to a Wall Street Journal article by Bush’s Faith Czar, Jim Towey, about the VA’s “death book,” which evidently guilt-trips veterans into opting for euthanasia, or something. Fox also did something about that today, so you’ll be hearing death book death book death book for a few days. Here are some comments on Palin’s post:

Vm Batcha
Sure don't trust this Mr. Obama... he is surely not looking out for true Americans... I really think he has a hiding agenda....

Tony Bell
yea,the government is trying to kill me too,,but i won't go alone

Nancy Treadwell
Many people with concerns such as these are continuing to attend town hall meetings, only to be criticized by the press, Barney Frank, and other politicians.Since most of us are products of government run public schools, when we are called stupid, that points to another poorly executed, well meaning operation that failed to deliver.

Kelly Esperanza
The Muslim Terrorist doesn't give a crap about our military. They should have the best health care before anyone else. They give up everything for our country. Obama shows them no respect. He is a loser and needs to get out of my country! Wake up America before it's to late. Send my name to the White House...I would give anything to take him ... Read Moreon one-on-one. He knows nothing. Can't even salute right! Go bacl to where ever you came from! You are a liar and I belive you may be the Anti-Christ! Put a uniform on and go serve next to the people who work for you!

Elaine Greene
I think they are just like Hitler, they better quit playing "GOD" or they will end up like John Lennon did, who thought he was better than GOD"

Bernadette Auffhammer
this sickens me , obama must leave our vets alone let obama and his militant wife go to the front lines and fight for our country

John Herron
This is truly an eye opening article about the "Hidden Agenda" of Obama and the Liberal Nazi's that want to take our country and freedoms away!

Michael G. Casieri Senior
I'm 67 years old. This scares the hell out of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paulene Shedd
I HAVE WONDERED IF OBAMA WENT TO HIS GRANDMOTHERS SIDE AND READ HER THAT BOOK, RIGHT BEFORE SHE GOT ASSISTED WITH THE END OF HER LIFE.
SOME PEOPLE BETTER BE ON OUR KNEES.

Christy Bell
God forbid!! This is unconscionable. Can anyone doubt the Socialists are against human life itself?

Bob Corcoran
if washington had its way we would all die to save money.

Mark Krawczuk
sarah palin IS HOT !!!

You know what would be nice? If he sent a nice card. That would be thoughtful. Maybe with a picture of a sad-eyed puppy.

Lt. William Calley this week said that he’s sorry for the My Lai massacre. So that’s all right then. Oddly enough, he made this apology to the Kiwanis Club of Greater Columbus, Ohio Georgia, although I’m reasonably sure that he didn’t actually lead a massacre at the Kiwanis Club of Greater Columbus, unless it didn’t make the papers; I mean shouldn’t he have been apologizing to the Kiwanis Club of Greater My Lai instead?

Killer sea slugs would be a great name for a rock band

New Zealand held a non-binding referendum on whether it was ok for parents to hit their children (“good parental correction” and “a smack” is how it was termed in the referendum). 87% or so voted in favor of child-beating, which NZ outlawed two years ago, the first country to do so.

In other New Zealanderish news today, “Killer Sea Slugs Empty NZ Beaches.” Coincidence? You be the judge.

Why didn’t we think of this when I was in college?

WaPo headline: “U.S Officials Say Colleges Should Suspend Classes if Swine Flu Spreads.” The Centers for Disease Control are “urging schools to suspend any rules -- such as penalties for late papers or missed classes, or a required doctor’s note -- that might prompt ill people to venture out.” I foresee wacky hijinks.

“Health officials said students can do their part by washing their hands and covering coughs and also by wiping down keyboards, doorknobs, remote-control devices and other oft-touched items.” I’m not touching that straight line until it’s been thoroughly wiped down.

Is there are any tragedy that insurance companies and the US can’t find a way to make worse?

LAT: “Armenian Americans descended from victims of the 1915-18 massacre by Ottoman Turks can’t sue foreign insurance companies for unpaid claims because the U.S. government doesn’t legally recognize that an Armenian genocide occurred, a federal appeals court ruled Thursday.” German insurance companies, just to add that touch of irony that was required.

Bush’s HHS sec wanted to pull the plug on granny

Something I’d forgotten: in May 2005, Health & Human Services Sec. Mike Leavitt suggested that Medicare costs could be reduced by encouraging seniors to prepare advance directives. Where Sarah Palin and Chuck Grassley falsely claimed that the current provision was about reducing costs by killing granny, Leavitt’s proposal actually was, explicitly, but somehow I don’t remember anyone screaming “Death panels! Death panels! Death panels!” at him.

Poll: America’s Second Smuggest Person

Smug: irritatingly pleased with oneself; self-righteously complacent.

As the nominations show, the US is not short of the smug. And we haven’t really plumbed the smug depths of the literati, the art world, organized religion or academia. Or medicine, now that I come to think of it: there was a doctor I saw once, when my regular doctor was out of town, who achieved a Buckleyesque level of smug.

The specific quality we are judging here is smugness, not general assholery. Read all the entries, which are alphabetical, before voting. Remember, whoever wins this vote will take over as the Smuggest American of All should George Bush die or develop self-awareness.

War of necessity in an inessential country

If “co-ops” were a viable model for the provision of health care, we’d already have them.

---

Obama’s speech to the VFW yesterday was more interesting for what it didn’t say than what it did say. It did contain some rather strong language (does he believe a word of it?) about Afghanistan being a “war of necessity” which is “fundamental to the defense of our people”.

But he didn’t say a whole lot about the Afghan people – who he seems to think of at best as a problem to be solved; he’s not really interested in the Afghan people qua people. Nothing about Afghan women. Only a single mention of the elections (“our troops are helping to secure polling places for this week’s election so that Afghans can choose the future that they want”), and none of Karzai, who is masterfully putting together a coalition of warlords and rapists alike (and if that isn’t a majority, I don’t know what is).

“Actually” innocent

The Supreme Court sent the capital murder conviction of Troy Anthony Davis back to federal court to hear his claim of having been innocent (he was convicted solely on the testimony of witnesses most of whom have since recanted). Naturally, Fat Tony Scalia (joined by Thomas), objects, in a dissent which scoffs at the very idea that “capital convictions... are always subject to being set aside by federal courts for the reason of ‘actual innocence’”. “This Court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who has had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is ‘actually’ innocent.”

That may be the douchiest use of quotation marks ever.

P.S. I have added Scalia to the list of nominees for Second Smuggest American.