California primary

So I've been reading the election booklet, and here are my thoughts and recommendations.

First, the arguments are getting wackier each year. Something has to be done to make them at least honest. Where is Gary Wesley, attorney at law, when we need him?

1A Indian gambling. Yes, we just voted on this. Evidently this will allow the use of video slot machines, the crack cocaine of gambling. Well that's what it says here. Vote yes.

Bond measures, 12 through 16, no as always. No reason to go into debt during an economic boom.

12 is evidently to "buy more land for insects, rats and weeds that your family will never get to see or use."

13, say the people against, is not *that* Prop 13. They actually feel they have to say that. And don't wear platform shoes and mood rings to the polling places, people, it's not 1978. The people for say that "Without it, we all face a very uncertain water future." As long as it doesn't have Kevin Costner in it.

15, for crime labs, aka the O J Simpson Initiative. "If it were the opponents' father who was murdered, sister who was raped, or child killed by a drunken driver, we believe there would be no argument against Proposition 15."

16, for Veterans' homes: one statement beings "Pear Harbor, Iwo Jima, Omaha Beach...Khe Sanh, Kuwait, Bosnia..." Yup, the only mention of Vietnam is one designed not to be understood by anyone who wasn't there. We want to help veterans, but not *those* veterans.

17 to legalize raffles for charities. The opponents present it as a "professional gambling operator's dream" although the Prop specifically says that the money has to actually go to charity and the operator has to belong to the charity. Vote yes, or no, who cares.

18, the hand of George Deukmejian reaches out of the political grave on this one, which would make all sorts of things into "special circumstances" for the purposes of death penalty. Vote no, of course, but note that it would make kidnapping or arson or lying in wait in relation to murder a special circumstance, even if it was always intended to be a murder, rather than a real kidnapping or arson. In other words, it's really one crime, murder, but they're trying to treat it as two crimes for the purpose of inflicting a death penalty. Dishonest, but par for the course. Note one of the opponents was B.J. on MASH.

19 increases penalties for murder of BART police & Cal State police (but not UC, for some reason) to those for the murder of, ya know, real cops. Vote no, but note that the arguments against are entirely fictional, saying that the Prop does things like let BART impress people into a posse and fine people $1,000 who refuse, and that it covers bomb threats and falsely reporting crimes. The actual text of the prop is quite short and mentions none of that.

20. Allocation of the lottery to school districts, telling them how to spend it (a % on textbooks). First, who cares, second, let the districts make their own decisions. So vote who cares, I mean no.

21. Every election has an atrocity, and this is it. Especially after the figures on what LA does to juvenile criminals in the adult court system, this would require trying as adults a lot more 14 year olds, requires registration for gang members just like sex criminals, imprison juveniles before trial, bar sealing juvenile records and, here's my favorite part, allowing the cops to release the name of juveniles arrested, before any actual charges are even made. Oh, and more crimes count towards 3 strikes, although without trawling through the 13 pages of this initiative, I can't tell you which ones. Spitting on the sidewalk, no doubt. No no no no.

22. No gay marriages. The statement in favor was written by a 20-year old Hispanic woman, and is not the only personal statement on this ballot, the other being a thing by a recovering gambling addict against Prop 1A. This is a trend that should stop at once. Anyway, Ms. Santacruz says "Marriage is an important part of our lives, our families, and our future. Someday I hope to meet a wonderful man, marry and have children of my own. By voting Yes on 22, I'm doing my part to keep the dream alive. If it fails, I will have to marry a big bull dyke." I made up that last sentence. Lady, you're 20 and Hispanic; tick tock, that mustache isn't growing any smaller.

23. A None of the Above ballot option. If anyone knows how this got on the ballot, tell me. I suspect a dirty trick. It is non-binding, so Mr. Above can never win an election, so it is politically meaningless. But it would siphon votes away from the Greens, Libertarians and such, who might subsequently lose their ballot status like Peace and Freedom has, which is where the dirty trick comes in. The argument is written by 3 California citizens who usually don't vote, and think many more citizens will register and will vote in order to cast a pointless vote. I've cast more than my share of pointless votes, but this is too pointless. No.

All together in an Australian accent: Proposition 22: No pooftas! Proposition 24: there is no proposition 24.

Prop 25 campaign spending limits. I need more time on this one. There are voluntary aspects to it, including a fine on people who break a voluntary pledge, and there is something about millionaires being able to spend whatever they like, a reference which I think means that this is Ron Unz's initiative.

Prop 26 removes the requirement of a 2/3 majority for school districts to issue bonds, and gives money to charter schools. You know, I was going to say yes on the theory that 2/3 is undemocratic, but if it's just to issue bonds, which I don't believe in anyway, I think I will recommend a no vote. Both sides on this one have typewriters whose CAP key keeps sticking.

Prop 27, a voluntary declaration of adherence to term limits can be put on the ballot next to a candidate's name. Term limits are bad, politicizing the ballot form is bad, and I believe other states that tried this had it struck down in the courts. No.

Prop 28 to repeal to Prop 10's cigarette tax and anti-smoking programs, has an amusing statement by the sponsor, the president of Cigarettes Cheaper! That's his exclamation mark, not mine, so it's rather surprising he gets through a statement and a rebuttal with only 2 of them, 3 if you count the sentence that you can call them at 1-800-Cheaper! I didn't know my telephone even had punctuation marks. Evidently "The primary use for Prop 10 funds has been to publicize Rob Reiner." Although elsewhere he says none of the money has been spent. As the aliens told Woody Allen in Stardust Memories, if you want to benefit humanity, just make funnier movies, Meathead. Mr. Exclamation Point also says that Prop 10 money will be spent on a Brave New World approach to raising children wherein bureaucrats will take over from parents. Sounds like Epsilon thinking to me. Vote no.

Prop 29, the evil twin of 1A. No.

By the way, James Doohan, who played Scotty, just fathered a child at 80. I dinnae know how much more of this my testicles can stand, captain!