If you're looking for humor, that'll be the next e-mail.

I must report two deaths, that of Joe "Spud" M, well you'll have to look up the name if you give a shit, or I'll have to learn how to read my own handwriting. He's the inventor of the cheese and onion potato chip. And Ken Kesey, who probably felt the need for munchies on more than one occasion, if you catch my drift.

OK, I warned you: in South Africa, a 9-month old is gang raped because, as we all know, that's a cure for AIDS.

The war continues, and bombing continues, three weeks after the Pentagon said it had bombed everything worth bombing. So are they bombing worthless shit, or did all the first bombs miss? You be the judge, because they aren't talking. The Morons' War is getting more and more moronic, more and more unrelated to its ostensible aims. And the US, which started out self-obsessed, has just gotten more so. Even normally intelligent people, like William Saletan of Slate, are writing that the Taliban is to blame for the US bombing civilians, because they position tanks and anti-aircraft weapons amongst civilians. Under what scenario would anyone make it easy for their weaponry to be targeted? In what sense did the fact that the US decided to bomb a country obligate that country to make it easy? Bush today told the UN that it was everyone else's "duty" to help us in our war, which looks increasingly like our war despite efforts to pretend it was everyone's war. And he also said that other countries can't pick and choose between terrorists. Oh really? Here are ours:

November 11 2001 TERRORISM

THE NORTHERN ALLIANCE'S CRUEL HISTORY: Mujaheddin write their name in blood

Jon Swain, Peshawar
....
In a macabre ritual known as "dead men dancing", victims' heads were chopped off. Petrol was then pumped into their necks and set alight as the blood spurted out and the bodies jerked about in their death throes.

In Afghanistan, rape, mutilation and torture have been rife over the past decade. The skinning alive of victims has been a particular favourite of warring groups, along with the roasting of prisoners in containers left in the desert sun.

The Afghan warlord whose perverted mind dreamt up the "dead man
dancing" routine was Abdul Ali Mazari, a leader of the Hazaras, Afghanistan's Persian-speaking ethnic minority. Mazari headed a group called Hizb-i-Wahdat, which is now a key part of the Northern Alliance, the loose confederation of militias that is the spearhead in Afghanistan of America's and Britain's war on terrorism.

....