Sunday, November 24, 2002

Coffee enemas & flaming pop tarts

I called the wiretap appeals court a fake court, but I missed one of the ways in which it is fake: there is no appeal from it. I mean there is theoretically, but the cases are secret, including the defendants. This week’s decision came in the case of US Government versus We Don’t Have to Tell You Who. So in practical terms, this means that there is nobody with standing to appeal, or if there is they don’t know it, so de facto, there is no appeal. It would be trite to invoke Catch 22 at this point, but I don’t see how I can avoid it.

Speaking of a Potemkin criminal justice system, the Sunday Wash Post says, to no one’s shock, that many of those detained and still detained after 9/11 as “material witnesses” were never questioned by grand juries, which is the only proper purpose of the material witness law. It also says that such people are owed $40 per day.

Here’s some helpful etiquette information: "There's a lot more to kissing a lady's hand than most people think. The most important thing to remember is that you should not attempt to kiss it until she has offered her hand. The lady always instigates the greeting. Once she has offered you her hand, you should remove your hat, if you are wearing one, and hold it lightly at the front of your leg. Then you step towards the lady and take her outstretched hand and turn the palm downwards gently by the fingertips. Keeping your legs straight, bend at the waist until your lips are a centimetre above her hand. Never touch her hand with your lips and avoid eye contact or speaking while bowing for the kiss. Look into her eyes afterwards and if they are sparkling, you have done it right and she will know you are a gentleman."

That’s from a class being taught at juvenile detention facilities in Vienna.

Across the border in slightly less civilized Hamburg, riot police accidentally beat up their own undercover detectives at a demonstration in support of squatters.

No comments: