A bit of a hissy

Berlusconi doesn’t just blame being drunk for his pro-Mussolini comments, he blames British reporters for getting him drunk. One of them, Boris Johnson, says that the only beverage taken was iced tea. Berlusconi turns out to be a remarkably cheap drunk.

Imperial Proconsul Paul Bremer blames Iran for attacks on US troops in Iraq, without mentioning the anti-Iran guerilla groups now offered refuge in Iraq.

Colin Powell & others have been saying that Iraqis are not “ready” to run their own country. As opposed to the Not Ready for Prime Time US Occupation, who once again proved their deep understanding of Iraqi culture by shooting up a wedding where guns were fired in celebration, killing a 14-year old. The Americans not the Iraqis, obviously; ours actually hit what they shoot at, because they typically use about 2,000 bullets.

Do you know the US military still hasn’t given any account of the killing of the 8 police in Fallujah last week?

I am about to use an Australian phrase which I just read and like. The phrase was used by a tv channel spokesman describing the reaction of some viewers to a talk show host breastfeeding her six-month old on-air, but I will apply it to GeeDubya who had “a bit of a hissy” about Yassir Arafat, who he described as a “failed leader”, causing 3 billion all across the world to mutter “well, he should know” simultaneously, their expelled breath causing Hurricane Isabel, according to well-known meteorological principles. You could look it up.

The major goober candidates who don’t speak with an Austrian accent (by the way, do the people who think he can pick up the basics of the job of governor quickly not experience any doubt when they hear the results of 35 years of learning English?) are also throwing a bit of a hissy, threatening to boycott next week’s debate unless the pre-released questions, which are already out and boring as shit, are dropped (Harry Shearer says negotiations on the debate broke down because Arnold wanted the answers in advance as well). The debate he missed yesterday was just across the street from where he went a couple of hours later to be “interviewed” by Larry King.

And what will the US Supreme Court make of all this?

John Ashcroft, during the great Patriot Act road tour of ‘03: “If your idea of a vacation is two weeks in a terrorist training camp" or "if you enjoy swapping recipes for chemical weapons from your 'Joy of Jihad' cookbook, you might be a target of the Patriot Act." Oh good, now he thinks he’s Jeff Foxworthy.