Sunday, November 09, 2003

What would a half-woman half-tigress be executed for?

The New Hampshire Supreme Court rules that adultery does not include lesbian sex. They looked it up in a dictionary.

And then they just felt dirty all over, so:

Also, homosexual sex with a servant does not count, according to Prince Charles.

Speaking of dictionaries, the latest edition of Merriam-Webster’s has a listing for “McJobs.” McDonald’s is not at all pleased.

Daily Telegraph: “Fifty people were arrested in Qom, Iran, as police broke up a crowd that had assembled to watch the rumoured execution of a half-woman half-tigress, the Jomhuri-Eslami newspaper reported yesterday. The police tried to persuade the crowd that the rumour was false but as security forces attempted to disperse them they smashed several windows in nearby buildings.” Extra points for anyone who can think of the Siegfried and Roy joke I couldn’t.

The oldest person in the world, and possibly of all time, if it’s true, Hava Rexha, dies in Albania at 123. She was forcibly married at 14 to some guy in his 60s. Who thought that would be the secret to longevity? Can you imagine having to live in Albania for 123 years?

The US has put a $2 million bounty on former Liberian dictator Charles Taylor, who is living in Nigeria, which gave him asylum and is not at all pleased at this attempt to sponsor a kidnapping in their country.

States with Republican legislatures--Kansas, Colorado, Utah, and more to come--have decided not to bother having primaries in 2004. Other states have dropped them to save money--Maine, NM, and more to come. Maybe we can have the D primaries decided solely by people who weren’t smart enough to move out of Iowa or New Hampshire. Maybe to Albania.

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