The flesh of collaborators is tastier than that of Americans

Stupid Hollywood idea of the week: a live-action movie of “Speed Racer.”

As the Daily Show noted at some length, Bush again mispronounced Abu Ghraib, adding an f and a whole extra syllable, which Jon Stewart commented might lead some people to think that he doesn’t give a fuck.

Bush’s new restrictions on Cubans living in the US visiting or sending cash to relatives in Cuba can only appeal to Cuban exiles who have no real connection to Cuba except hatred for Castro. The Bushies get to decide who counts as family for them to visit (not aunts and cousins, for example), and limits visits to 14 days every 3 years, with no exceptions for family emergencies. See what I mean?

The Afghan government says that that commander must have misspoke when he said he’d cut the heads off 4 Taliban. The NYT says the commander “retracted his account,” but leaves out his exact phrasing. How do you “retract” saying that you and your men beheaded 4 people? Doesn’t seem that much room for error.

The Afghans also say that those 11 Chinese road workers killed earlier this month weren’t killed by terrorists but by business rivals. Is that better or worse?

Slogan of the day, from Iraq: “The flesh of collaborators is tastier than that of Americans.” Many Iraqi police were killed today, because the billions we’re spending on the security forces somehow never involves them getting, say, kevlar, or real weapons. “Even farmers are often better armed than the police,” says Patrick Cockburn in the Indy.

Next week there will be a NATO summit in Istanbul. Its time and location were changed in December to allow for the creation of a Bush ad: he will sneak off to Iraq for the handover. It may not be quite the production number Karl Rove had planned 6 months ago. It hasn’t been announced since it may yet have to be called off, for obvious security reasons. Hell, at this stage Istanbul may not be safe enough.

Cheney’s spokesmodel says that the Dick had a “frank exchange of views” with Pat Leahy. Although reports are still contradictory as to whether he told Leahy to fuck himself, or merely “fuck you.”

Pete Coors, who makes the beer I’d be boycotting if I drank beer, is running for the US Senate for Colorado, on a platform of reducing the drinking age and not knowing who the prime minister of Canada is. Sounds about right for Colorado.

Bush actually approves of condoms in an anti-AIDS speech. Too bad his new rules require government censorship of any written or other materials issued by any HIV group receiving any government funding, including a ban on “obscene” or “sexually suggestive” material (like teaching how to use condoms), and mandatory inclusion of anti-condom propaganda. In their war against accurate information, the censorship includes questionnaires, so that people can’t be asked if they do, you know, dirty filthy things, unprotected. All that’ll be left standing, of course, is abstinence-only “sex ed.” Bush is also shifting AIDS money away from social services entirely to medicine (i.e., to his good friends in Big Pharma).

Governor Terminator has saved California from bankruptcy from switching all the toilet paper in the Capitol to one-ply.