Sunday, July 11, 2004

Of course, when Sharon's wife asks him to stop hogging the pickles, he accuses her of encouraging terrorism

Iraq passes its first post-fake-handover death sentences, three of them. Let freedom reign (of terror).

Ariel Sharon accuses the International Court of Justice, which ruling against the Wall, of “encouraging terror.”


Gene Weingarten has questions for the candidates:

Question for John Kerry: Please outline the key elements of your plan to reduce injuries and deaths from the misuse of yo-yos.

Question for George W. Bush: Please disclose the single fact about yourself that, if published, would reveal you to be a morally deficient person and might even doom your reelection.

Question for John Kerry: Senator, just how rich are you? For example, do you buy yachts and throw them away after using them once, like disposable razors?

And so does Andy Borowitz:

QUESTIONS FOR DICK CHENEY

1. Former Senator Alfonse D'Amato has suggested President Bush dump you from the ticket. What's your response to him, in two words?

3. Over the past four years, how many days would you say you spent above ground?

5. Didn't "Fahrenheit 9/11" totally rock?

QUESTIONS FOR JOHN EDWARDS
6. On the night Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon, which pajamas were you wearing, the ones with the cowboys or the ones with the ducks?

8. What's Malibu Barbie really like?

9. If, as you say, there are two Americas, which one is your vacation home in?

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