Monday, July 11, 2005

Miss Condi’s rules for talking with boys


As Bionic Octopus notes, while Condi is telling China that it should talk with the elected Taiwanese government rather than with the Taiwanese opposition, the US (indeed, Rice herself) ostentatiously engaged in dialogue with the Venezuelan opposition just last month. During that Beijing press conference, Condi gave several other insights about who a superpower should converse with. For example, she also advised China to “reach out” to the Dalai Lama, “who really is of no threat to China.” So it’s ok to talk to people who are a lot weaker than you.

Oh, and also, it’s ok if they’re like really super-legitimate: asked when the US would get the hell out of Afghanistan, she replied,
The one country that said that the United States should stay in Afghanistan was Afghanistan, which I think, since Afghanistan is sovereign, since Afghanistan, in fact, has an elected president who was elected freely and fairly, then the relationship that we have with Afghanistan is with that government.
Also, “it is our understanding that the people of Afghanistan want and need the help of U.S. armed forces.” There’s something about that phrase “it is our understanding” that I find very amusing.

It’s ok to meet up with the poor, ugly, kind of smelly kid, like North Korea, just so long as you go along with your friends so he doesn’t think it’s a date or anything. The young people today evidently call this “engaging in six-party talks.” S-I-X, with an i.

Lastly, before talking with someone, you should draw up a list of pros and cons. Of Chinese-American relations, she said, “there are many extremely positive elements. I still think that this relationship has great momentum. It still has more positives than negatives.” Phew, imagine China’s relief. It thought it was getting the “just good friends” talk.

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