Bad touch

In other war crime trial news, Priv. Jesse Spielman has been sentenced to 110 years for his role in the Mahmudiya Massacre, in which 14-year-old Abeer al-Janabi was gang-raped, then murdered along with her entire family. Spielman just stood lookout and participated in the cover-up, and so was convicted of conspiracy, arson (of the body), drinking, and... wait for it... “wrongfully touching a corpse,” but got the longest sentence (not that I’m feeling sorry for him, you understand, just noting the capriciousness of the military justice system). He’ll be eligible for parole in 10 years, after serving just 9% of his sentence.