Rogue virginity testers

Opening Sentence of a News Article of the Day: “Any event featuring Jacob Zuma, virginity tests and more than 25,000 bare-breasted maidens dancing for a polygamous king is unlikely to pass entirely without incident.”

Goodwill Zwelithini, the aforementioned polygamous king of the Zulus, “condemned ‘rogue’ virginity testers” and complained about pictures of the virginity-test-a-palooza showing up on the internet: “I was shocked when I received these pictures on my website. I have no doubt these pictures are going to be used to attack this solemn culture of ours. This is a very important tradition and culture and needs to be conducted with dignity and respect without abusing and violating the dignity and privacy of the maidens.” Because nothing says dignity and privacy like mass public inspection of genitalia.