Today -100: January 8, 1914: I do not intend to let the people laugh in this way

Headline of the Day -100: “GUNS TO STOP LAUGHING.; Even Smiling Offended the Military at Zabern.” This is the court-martial of the German officers who declared themselves in charge of the Alsatian town of Zabern/Saverne. When Col. von Reuter was asked to withdraw his provocative patrols and reminded that the Zabernhoovians weren’t doing anything more than standing around, he responded “I intend to prevent this standing about at any cost. I do not intend to let the people laugh in this way. If it continues I shall order the troops to shoot.” Von Reuter admits having stationed machine guns on the streets of Zabern.

The new nation of Albania arrests 200 soldiers sent by Turkey to install Izzet Pasha (Turkey’s ex-minister of war) as king.

Old Timey Lingo: “booze baiting,” the practice, now outlawed in Burlington, New Jersey, of washing the pavement in front of a bar with beer slops so that the smell brings in customers.

Joseph Chamberlain, 77, announces that he will retire from the British Parliament at the next election. Ill health has kept him from attending Parliament for three years, and he will (spoiler alert) die in July. The most powerful late-19th-century politician who failed to become prime minister, in part because he split the Liberal party over the issue of Irish Home Rule in the 1880s and then in the 20th century divided the Conservatives over his anti-free-trade posture, which was never all that popular with the public, even when cloaked in imperialist rhetoric. His sons Austen and Neville will both lead the Conservative Party.

The election of Frank Williams as a state senator in Maryland is challenged because he is a clergyman. The state constitution bans ministers and preachers from being senators. Williams says he has resigned his ministry (after an investigation, the Senate will agree, and seat him).

The Chicago School Board bans sex hygiene and personal purity lectures, which were introduced in 1912.

Guess I haven’t mentioned the suffrage march from New York to Albany. Anyway, the 11 marchers, three of whom did the entire route, arrive and meet Gov. Glynn, “who appeared loath to accept a ‘Votes for Women’ button that ‘Gen.’ Jones pressed upon him.”

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