Wednesday, October 08, 2003

I like to play the leader

Some religious authorities don’t like gay marriage, and some REALLY don’t like it. For example, the Russian Orthodox Church defrocked a priest that performed one. And demolished the church in which it was performed.

Bush’s idea of the way to get the bottom of the Plame Game is to get Justice right on it. Well, after a 12-hour period before people are ordered not to destroy documents. Oh, and the White House Counsel’s office will just hold on to all the evidence for a couple of weeks before it goes to justice. National security, you know.

Today’s Top Five list is changes under Governor Arnie. Maybe it’s too early to find our displacement of Florida as national laughing stock especially funny, but it didn’t seem a very good list. I did like:
6> California Department of Food and Agriculture now classifies steroids as a vegetable.

Ariel Sharon is getting increasingly paranoic about opposition. He accused the pilots who refuse to go on bombing-assassination missions of trying a coup, now he’s accused the Labor party of working with Palestinians to topple the government.

The Guardian: “The Catholic Church is telling people in countries stricken by Aids not to use condoms because they have tiny holes in them through which the HIV virus can pass - potentially exposing thousands of people to risk.”

The Guardian also explains the Schwarzenegger victory to Brits, sort of: “Putting Arnie in charge of the world's fifth largest economy is like making Benny Hill chancellor of the exchequer: quirky but unreal - and not very funny.” More: “myth and reality may continue to collide. For some, Mr Schwarzenegger was a classic out sider, an immigrant-made-good, an heir to the American dream. But in truth he needed the Republican party, big business backing and $21m to beat Mr Davis. These debts will be called in in the normal way.”

For goober results. None of the 135, including the alleged murderer, got fewer than 172 votes. Bad luck, Todd Richard “The Bumhunter” Lewis (position on the budget crisis: “We need to spend less.”), but someone had to come in last. (If I never know what “the Bumhunter” means, it will be too soon.)

Führerprinzip: Last night the Game Show Network ran an episode of the Dating Game from the early to mid-1970s, in which Arnie had to choose between 3 bachelorettes (a word they did not make him try to pronounce). “Ya, girl number three, I am new to this country, can you explain to me what means ‘hanky panky’?” Asked where they would go on a date, one said wherever he wanted. He said that was goot, because “I like to play the leader.” She was the one he chose. They got to go to Hawaii with a Dating Game chaperon. Yeah, that’ll work. A chaperon. To paraphrase Richard Dreyfus in Jaws, I think we’re gonna need a bigger chaperon.

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