Sunday, November 13, 2005

Fruit, nuts and mechanical pumping equipment


The Creighton University School of Law in Omaha, Neb. has been given a $750,000 grant by USAID to develop a model for the tribunal we intend to install in Cuba after Castro dies that will return nationalized American property. Texaco, United Fruit Sugar and the Mafia want their stuff back.

USAID is also planning to train the not-so-newly elected Afghan MPs, many of whom are illiterate warlords, in How a Law is Made and other niceties of representative democracy. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall at those sessions? The LAT says, “Experts emphasize that Afghanistan is still a society in transition”. It doesn’t name these experts, although it sounds to me like the work of Prof. Johann Finkelharben, chair of the Department of Completely Obvious Shit at UCLA.

Speaking of completely obvious shit (and, indeed, speaking of illiterate warlords), Arnold Schwarzenegger, following his defeat at the polls, is off on a junket to the exotic Far East, where he will shill the goods made by his campaign contributors (who are also paying for the trip), goods which the LA Times describes as “various California products, including fruit, nuts and mechanical pumping equipment.” And that’s just Arnold.

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