Our practices and procedures are correct

AP headline: “Source: Cheney Isn’t Woodward’s Source.” That’s right, a secret source is denying that Dick Cheney is Bob Woodward’s secret source.

Follow-up to the previous post: Iraqi Interior Minister Jabr also said of the secret prison that while there had been torture there, “all the suspects’ files were in order -- which shows that our practices and procedures are correct.” Actually, 1/3 of the prisoners had no files, but his thinking, sputter, I have no, sputter sputter, words...

That article quotes the army general in charge of training Iraqi security forces, Martin Dempsey, saying that there needs to be internal oversight. Ya think? Although considering the sorts of things Jabr has been saying, somehow I don’t see oversight by him improving anything. Dempsey: “These kinds of things are a huge detriment to the morale of the force.” Oh, and the guys who were starved and tortured, their morale probably isn’t all that great either. By the way, whatever happened to those prisoners? Who has them now?

Bush in South Korea is asked whether he agrees with Cheney’s attack on war critics or Chuck Hagel’s statement that it’s patriotic to ask questions. “The Vice President.” Bush repeated that “ours is a country where people ought to be able to disagree” but that it’s “irresponsible” to criticize him. Clearly, by when he says people can “disagree,” he actually means “scream silently within their own heads in impotent rage.” Bush continued this contradictory, possibly schizophrenic, line of argument (well, I say line, but it clearly goes in anything other than a straight line):

It’s irresponsible to use politics. ... I think people ought to be allowed to ask questions. It is irresponsible to say that I deliberately misled the American people when it came to the very same intelligence they looked at, and came to the -- many of them came to the same conclusion I did. Listen, I -- patriotic as heck to disagree with the President. It doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is when people are irresponsibly using their positions and playing politics. That’s exactly what is taking place in America.

He used the word irresponsible five times, and it’s such a long word, we’re all very proud of him, although it’s not clear that he knows what it means. And you can’t use politics, or play politics. Evidently politics is like grandma’s good china, you never actually get to eat off of it, it just sits there all decorative and shit.


The Miami Herald makes Venezuela’s offer of cheap oil to its poor neighbors seem like some sort of dastardly, insidious plot:

While Cuban leader Fidel Castro tried to export his revolution throughout Latin America in the 1960s with AK-47s, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez is fighting to expand his “21st century socialism” with oil barrels.

Um yeah, it’s just like that.

Equally helpful is the LA Times, which explains that the “Big Nose Bandit,” who has just held up his 18th bank, “got his nickname because he has a larger-than-average nose”.