Because it’s like, no matter what you say, you’re going to get clobbered

The Wall Street Bailout and $700 Billion Party at the Brink of Apocalypse Act of 2008 has passed. Bush says “Exercising the authorities in this bill in a responsible way will require a careful analysis and deliberation.” Because if there’s one thing the Bush administration is known for, it’s careful analysis and deliberation.

The CBS-Katie Couric Chinese water torture continues, with yet more of her interviews with Palin airing last night. Asked what the worst thing Dick Cheney has done as veep, Joe Biden said shredding the Constitution, and Palin said shooting Dick Whittington in the face. “And that I think that was made into a caricature of him. And that was kind of unfortunate.”

Indeed, according to Cheney himself, speaking today in Reno at, of all things, the White House Conference on North American Wildlife Policy, “I’ve taken a lot of grief over the years, obviously, for that hunting accident in Texas -- most of it from the President. ... I walked into the Oval Office that day and the President looked at me, and he said, ‘Dick, here I am 30 percent in the polls, and you shot the only trial lawyer in Texas who supports me.’” It’s good that they can laugh about it.

This morning Fox News’s Carl Cameron interviewed Sarah Palin, focusing on having her explain what her handlers tell her she really meant by various remarks in the debate and the Couric interviews.

RIGHT ON: “It was a great opportunity to get to speak directly to Americans. That’s how I looked at it when I walked into there saying, you know, we’re not going to be filtered. There’s not going to be the cutting and pasting and editing of any of our comments. Right on. Let me just talk to Americans.”

BUT DOES SHE GO ALL THE WAY ON A FIRST DATE? “There was a lot of eye contact [with Biden] and it was pleasant. It was, hey, you know, we’re both in this together. We both understand what each other would be going through at this time. Kind of wondering, what’s coming next, what’s Gwen going to ask us next? So, that connection, it was some good chemistry.”

Asked if she wanted to cop to any mistakes: “Oh, I mispronounced General McKiernan”. “McClellan” is not a mispronunciation, it’s a whole other general dude, from a whole other war.

Any other mistakes? No. What about saying wrongly that troop numbers in Iraq are at pre-“Surge” levels? “Just -- well, as victory’s getting closer and closer, we know that we’re going to be able to draw down those troops blather blather Afghanistan blather....”

HEH, SHE SAID “FLEXIBILITY IN THE POSITION.” HEH.: Re her comment about the role of the vice president being flexible in the Constitution: “Vice presidents will be able to be not only the position flexible, but it’s going to be sort of this other duty as assigned by the president. It’s a simple thing. I don’t think that was a gaffe at all in stating what the truth is. And that is we’ve got flexibility in the position. ... Well, again, as I tried to explain last night, our executive branch will know what our job is. We have the three very distinct branches of government. You know, we might be bleeding our authority over to the Legislative or Judicial branch to do our job in the Executive branch as administers.” So it won’t just be your authority that will be bleeding, but also the heart of the Constitution.

Sarah, Carl Cameron asked, why were you such crap in those interviews with Katie Couric? “Well, OK. I’ll tell you. Honestly. The Sarah Palin in those interviews is a little bit annoyed. Because it’s like, no matter what you say, you’re going to get clobbered.”

So, now that your handlers have had time to explain to you what a newspaper is: what newspapers do you read? “I read the same things that other people across the country read, including the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal and the Economist and some of these publications that we’ve recently even been interviewed through up there in Alaska.” She goes on to complain that her non-answer to Couric on this question “was kind of filtered. But, I was sort of taken aback, like, the suggestion was, you’re way up there in a far away place in Alaska. You know, that there are publications in the rest of the world that are read by many. And I was taken aback by that because I don’t know, the suggestion that this was a little bit of perhaps we’re not in tune with the rest of the world.” Yeah, Sarah, imagine anyone thinking you’re not in tune with the rest of the world.

She also has a list of Supreme Court cases she’s been told she disagrees with: Kennedy v. Louisiana (banning the death penalty for child rape), which she says violates states’ rights. And that imminent domain case. And reducing the punitive damage award against Exxon for the Valdez spill.

THE WINGS ARE FLYING HERE: “And now that the debate is over, and also -- you know yes, I kind of feel like, all right. The wings are flying here. Let’s soar, let’s get out there and speak to voters and let them know what their choices are.”