Friday, August 12, 2011

Republican Debate: Not going to eat Barack Obama’s dog food

Only Pawlenty and Bachmann seem to be wearing flag pins.

Michele B. does the “One. Term. President.” thing again.

Romney has spent his life in the private sector (I thought it was weird that Clinton scrubbed being a Rhodes scholar from his resumé in order not to appear all uppity, didn’t expect someone to pretend they’d never been a governor) and “understand[s] how jobs come and how they go,” especially the latter in any business he’s run. Says capitalism is about people (but then he thinks corporations are people. To be fair, Romney has to take the Turing test on a curve). “We’re inches away from no longer having a free economy.” He does not say how many inches.

GINGRICH PROBABLY WOULD: Romney on the debt ceiling bill: “Look, I’m not gonna eat Barack Obama’s dog food, all right?” Should Romney really still be bringing up dogs?

Ron Paul wants to put the militarism on the table.

Huntsman: “I intend to do exactly what I did as governor of the state of Utah,” adding, “Hey, can anyone remember what that was?”

REAL MEN DON’T COOK: Pawlenty: “I’ll offer a prize tonight to anybody in this auditorium or anyone watching on television, if you can find Barack Obama’s specific plan on any of those items, I will come to your house and cook you dinner. Or if you prefer, I’ll come to your house and mow your lawn. But in case Mitt wins, I’ll limit it to one acre.”

Santorum says the middle of America went to China, or something.

Now for the sexual tension portion of the debate, with Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann doing the Sam & Diane thing.

YES: Chris Wallace to Pawlenty: “Is [Bachmann] unqualified, or is she just beating you in the polls?”

SO SHE’S ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING, BUT IT’S A “WONDERFUL” NOTHING? Pawlenty on Bachmann: “She has done some wonderful things in her life but it is an indisputable fact that her record of accomplishment and results is nonexistent.”

Bachmann on Pawlenty: You’re Obama Obama Obama!

WHAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR: Bachmann: “People are looking for a champion. They want someone who has been fighting. ... I have a very consistent record of fighting against Barack Obama. That is what qualifies me as a fighter and a representative of the people.” But how is that a qualification for running a country?

NOW THIS IS A QUALIFICATION FOR RUNNING A COUNTRY: “I introduced the Lightbulb Freedom of Choice Act”.

Seriously, applause for that?

NOW THIS IS A QUALIFICATION FOR RUNNING A COUNTRY: Pawlenty: “she’s got a record of misstating and making false statements.”

WE’RE HOLDING OUT FOR ADAMANTIUM: Pawlenty, after noting that Bachmann has lost all her battles: “She said she’s got a titanium spine. It’s not her spine we’re worried about; it’s her record of results. If that’s your view of effective leadership with results, please stop, because you’re killing us.”

Bachmann: “I was at the tip of the spear fighting against the implementation of Obamacare in the United States Congress.” Heh heh, she said “tip of the spear.”

Romney: “I understand how the economy works.” He keeps talking about the “real economy.”

Gingrich calls a question about his Mickey Mouse campaign a “Mickey Mouse” question.

POLITICS IS EASY, COMEDY IS HARD: Herman Cain, asked about having said that the border needs a “twenty-foot barbed wire electrified fence,” said “America’s got to learn how to take a joke.”

Romney: “I was fortunate enough to be a governor that got an increase in the credit rating of my state at the same time we got a president who got a decrease in the credit rating of our nation. And that’s because our president simply doesn’t understand how to lead and how to grow an economy.” At the same time? Er, so he was governor last week?

Gov. Pawlenty regrets having supported a cigarette tax to pay for education, even though it was really a fee (a “health impact fee,” he called it at the time), and the courts said it’s really a fee, so there.

T-Paw also says Obama should come back from his “Cape Cod vacation.”

Bachmann was in the state legislature and really really opposed the cigarette tax, but voted for it because Pawlenty made a deal with “special interests” and “put in the same bill... a vote that would take away protections from the unborn”. She means the opposite, of course. Also, the “protections” in the bill were that pregnant women seeking abortions would have to be asked if they wanted the fetus to receive anesthesia before the procedure. (h/t TPM).

All the candidates would walk away from a deal that included spending cuts and tax increases in a ratio of 10:1.

Bachmann: if the government can force you to purchase health insurance, there is nothing the government cannot do.

OH NO, NOT MANDATORY MARRIAGE, SAVE US FROTHY: Santorum: “Michelle Bachmann says that she would go in and fight health care being imposed by states, but she wouldn’t go in and fight marriage being imposed by the states. That would be okay. We have Ron Paul saying oh, whatever the states want to do under the Tenth Amendment is fine. So if the states want to pass polygamy, that’s fine. If the states want to impose sterilization, that’s fine. No! Our country is based on moral laws, ladies and gentleman.”

Bachmann is late returning from the commercial break. I guess the timing on her ingenious plan to knock over a diamond merchant during the debate went a little bit awry. No such thing as a perfect crime, huh Michele?

Gingrich objects to a question about his complete reversal on Libya as a “gotcha question.” Says we need to rethink everything in the region. Which means he wants to come up with ten new nutty and completely contradictory ideas on the back of a napkin that he forgets about the next day.

Santorum clears up a geography question for Ron Paul: “Iran is not Iceland, Ron. Iran is a country that has been at war with us since 1979. Iran is a country that’s killed more men and women in uniform in Iraq and Afghanistan than the Iraqis and the Afghanistans [sic], Afghanistanis [sic] have.” Say what?

Paul responds that it actually started with the US support of the 1953 coup and 1979 was blow-back and we “just plain don’t mind our own business.”

Bachmann explains to Ron Paul (this is the “condescending to Ron Paul” portion of the debate) that terrorists don’t get Miranda rights and that Guantanamo Bay was responsible for Bin Laden being killed. She also explains to him that Iran is the center of all evil and she knows this because she sits on the House Select Committee on Intelligence (pause for snickering).

Ron Paul: “Who rules them a terrorist?”

Santorum says Ron Paul sees the world exactly like Obama does. Um, right. And that he won’t apologize for Iran having been free for a long time before the “mullahcracy.” He fails to say exactly when Iran was free. He does complain that Iran “tramples the rights of gays,” because if there’s one thing Ricky Santorum hates, it’s trampling the rights of gays.

Byron York asks Bachmann if she would be “submissive” to her husband, which some people think is a sexist question and I don’t. “[Wh]at submission means to us, if that’s what your question is, it means respect.” I’ll bet it does, I’ll bet it does.

I’m not sure what thesaurus she’s using, but submission in no way means respect.

Speaking of marriage, it’s gay marriage time. Romney says marriage should be determined at the federal level, because people move: “Marriage is a status, it’s not an activity.” Well, not the way Mrs. Romney does it (ba dum BUM).

Ron Paul doesn’t want the federal government having a marriage police.

I wonder what sort of uniform a federal marriage cop would wear?

Santorum says it sounds like Ron Paul says that if states want to legalize polygamy, they can. Evidently he’s no longer using the “man on dog” analogy.

Bachmann says she has “an unblemished record when it comes to this issue of man-woman marriage”. Hoo-kay then.

Santorum says it’s wrong that you can’t execute a rapist but you can abort a fetus conceived during rape. The child is an innocent victim. To be victimized twice is a horrible thing. (He means for the fetus; to victimize the actual rape victim twice with a forced pregnancy is of course a wonderful thing). “One violence is enough.”

Bachmann says she was right to oppose raising the debt ceiling and Standard & Poors has proven her right, because they said the US has no ability to pay its debts.

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