Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Russia says that if Persia doesn’t give in to its demands within 48 hours, Russian troops will march on Teheran and add the cost of that to the indemnity. Not only must Persia’s American treasurer be fired, but no more foreigners may be hired without the permission of Russia and Britain.
Revolutionaries fail to take Nanking. The US offers the emperor 2,500 troops currently stationed in the Philippines to keep open the Peking Railway and protect foreigners.
Headline of the Day -100: “Women Howl Down Asquith.” Suffragists, of course, prevent the prime minister delivering a speech on settlement work. Another speaker, future prime minister and class traitor Ramsay MacDonald, describes the heckling as an insult to the prime minister and a degradation of English public life.
Thanksgiving Headline of the Day -100: “40-Lb. Turkey for Taft.” Insert your own Taft-is-fat joke here.
Evidently competitive eating is not a recently created sport. One Charles W. Glidden of Lawrence, Massachusetts is betting $25 that he can eat... well, a whole disgusting menu I won’t repeat here. Glidden “broke into fame not long ago by eating 58 ears of corn in 115 minutes.” Piker. The current corn-eating record is 46 ears of corn in 12 minutes, set by Joe LaRue in 2010.