Today -100: August 31, 1912: Of Standard practice and actual ethnical conditions

The Senate Foreign Relations Sub-Committee will investigate Standard Oil’s involvement in funding the revolution in Mexico that brought Madero to power.

The European powers have suggested to the Ottomans that they decentralize their empire, giving autonomy to the European provinces. Count Berchtold, foreign minister of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, suggested to them that this would base the empire on the “actual ethnical conditions of the Ottoman Empire.” Seriously: the guy from the Austro-Hungarian (Czech/Slovenian/Croatian/Polish/Romanian etc) Empire said this? The Ottomans respond that the European powers can go fuck themselves in the manner of their respective ethnical conditions (or words to that effect).

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Romney’s acceptance speech: To do the really big stuff, you need an American

Transcript (as prepared, but I don’t think any quote I’m using varies by more than a word or two).

LESS SINCERE WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN: “I wish President Obama had succeeded because I want America to succeed.”

SOLES, SOULS, SEE WHAT I DID THERE? “The soles of Neil Armstrong’s boots on the moon made permanent impressions on OUR souls.”

WELL, WHEN THE WORLD NEEDS SOMEONE TO EAT THE REALLY BIG STUFF: “And I don’t doubt for a second that Neil Armstrong’s spirit is still with us: that unique blend of optimism, humility and the utter confidence that when the world needs someone to do the really big stuff, you need an American.”


SO EVERYONE IS MORE QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT THAN OBAMA, IS WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. “[Obama] took office without the basic qualification that most Americans have and one that was essential to his task. He had almost no experience working in a business. Jobs to him are about government.” You know, it’s not just that some of the worst presidents – Hoover, Bush – have had plenty of bidness experience, but how much of it did Eisenhower have? Reagan? Nixon?

THE CENTERPIECE: “the centerpiece of the President’s entire re-election campaign is attacking success. ... In America, we celebrate success, we don’t apologize for it.” Yeah, don’t know how you do things in Kenya...

OBAMA MUST WAKE UP EVERY MORNING BASKING IN THE GLOW OF ROMNEY’S GOOD-FAITH SUPPORT: “America has been patient. Americans have supported this president in good faith.”


I HOPE HE PUTS ON OLD CLOTHES BEFORE HE GOES OUT TO ASSAULT COAL AND GAS AND OIL: “His assault on coal and gas and oil will send energy and manufacturing jobs to China”.

OH SURE, LIKE HE’D LET YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ONTO HIS ARK: “President Obama promised to slow the rise of the oceans and to heal the planet. MY promise... is to help you and your family.” (The audience laughed at “rise of the oceans” like they’d never heard anything so crazy in their lives.)

THERE’S A GILLIGAN’S ISLAND JOKE IN HERE SOMEWHERE. NOT A GOOD JOKE, BUT IT’S IN THERE. “I will begin my presidency with a jobs tour. President Obama began with an apology tour.”

YEAH, I ALWAYS GET THOSE TWO MIXED UP TOO. “America, he said, had dictated to other nations. No, Mr. President, America has freed other nations from dictators.”


WHY IS THE METAPHOR ALWAYS THAT ISRAEL IS BEING THROWN UNDER THE BUS? “President Obama has thrown allies like Israel under the bus, even as he has relaxed sanctions on Castro’s Cuba.”

BECAUSE PUTIN WILL TEAR YOUR SPINE OUT WITH HIS BARE HANDS? “Under my administration, our friends will see more loyalty, and Mr. Putin will see a little less flexibility and more backbone.”

PROBABLY IN THE FUTURE: “That future is out there.” Can the future be described spatially like that?

CAN THE FUTURE BE SAID TO WAIT? I GOTTA RE-READ “A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME.” “It is waiting for us.”

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Epitome

Orrin Hatch told C-SPAN: “Mitt Romney’s the epitome of what Mormon males should be.”

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Today -100: August 30, 1912: Wherein is revealed the greatest set of liars on earth, 1912 edition

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease, running for re-election, wins the Democratic primary, rather narrowly. In fact, it seems that more ballots were cast for him in some counties than there are actual registered voters. Funny, that. Gracious as ever in victory, Blease announces “I have won the greatest victory over newspaper corporations and political tricksters ever known to the world. ... The outside world should now be convinced that the newspapers of South Carolina are the greatest set of liars on earth.”

Headline of the Day -100: “China Cannot Have Tibet, Says Britain.” China has been occupying Tibet for a couple of years but now intends to incorporate it as a province.

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Paul Ryan’s speech: Mitt Romney will turn his car around

AND A REACH-AROUND: “After four years of getting the run-around, America needs a turnaround, and the man for the job is Governor Mitt Romney.”

I FORGET, WHICH ONE DID BAIN SPECIALIZE IN? Mitt Romney & I know the difference between protecting a program and raiding it.


That’s it, I’ve lost the will to live.

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The Republican Convention: What I overheard today while mostly ignoring it

McConnell makes a funny: “Obama hasn’t been working to earn re-election, he’s been working to earn a spot on the PGA tour.” He had to pause a good long time waiting for a few fake chuckles from an audience willing him to just get on with it.

HOW ABOUT IF WE CALL IT A MOTHERFUCKING RECOVERY?: “To call this a recovery is an insult to recoveries.”

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Rand Paul: without the success of business, we wouldn’t have any roads or bridges.

RAND PAUL IS NOT ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS WITH MR. EXXON-MOBIL: when you punish Mr. Exxon-Mobil, you punish the secretary who has Exxon-Mobil shares.

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John McCain says he accepts the decision of the American people in 2008. Isn’t that gracious of him?

When a Republican like McCain talks about giving a voice to the voiceless, he can only, and I mean ONLY, be talking about fetuses.

He’s complaining that we didn’t go to war with Iran, and that we’re not going to war with Syria, because of course he is.

HE WAS FOR SAVAGE, UNFAIR FIGHTS BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST THEM: Syria has moved from peaceful protests to a savage, unfair fight.

He trusts Mitt Romney to know that good can triumph over evil.

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Today -100: August 29, 1912: No man has the right to live alone

Michigan holds the first primary elections since the Republican/Bull Moose split, and the Bull Moosers do surprisingly badly, not much better than the Prohibition Party. The Democratic vote seems undiminished, so the Bull Moosers seem to be taking their votes entirely from former Republicans.

Name of the Day -100: The Republican candidate for governor of Michigan will be one Amos Musselman (the Democrat, who, spoiler alert, will win, is named Woodbridge Nathan Ferris).

Taft orders the 10th Infantry to Nicaragua and then, ten hours later, changes his mind. There will soon be 2,000 US marines there, and he figures that’s enough.

Taft in private is said to blame the Nicaraguan revolution on the US Senate. See, if it hadn’t rejected the treaty last year giving the US complete control over Nicaragua’s customs revenues, which account for most of the government’s revenues, there wouldn’t have been any money for the revolutionaries to go after. This is why Nicaragua can’t have nice things.

The US ambassador to Panama demanded that the chief of police and a captain be fired, something about mistreatment of Americans. The former resigned and is “leaving the country under an assumed name,” but President Arosemena is refusing to fire the latter. Let’s see how long that lasts, shall we?

A Mrs. Rae Copeley Raum is running for mayor of San Diego on a platform of taxing bachelors over 25, including widowers who have not remarried after three years, “as a safeguard against race suicide. No man has the right to live alone.”

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Ann Romney’s speech: I can’t wait to see what we’re all going to do together.

(Some of the quotes may not be word-perfect).

AS THEY SAY IN UTAH: “I can’t wait to see what we’re all going to do together.”

WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO WOMEN SIGHING? CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. “You’ll hear the women sighing a little louder than the men.”

YES WE DO. “We don’t want easy.”

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “Everything has gotten harder.”

WORST. BLIND DATE. EVER. “His name is Mitt Romney and you should really get to know him.”

The crowd is applauding a basement apartment.

Oh no, they had to eat tuna fish, like a lowly, lowly cat.

They have 18 beautiful grandchildren. And several ugly ones in the basements of each of their mansions.

Who’s called the Romneys a storybook marriage? Name one person, Ann.

EXCEPT FOR HAVING HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY TED KENNEDY & JOHN McCAIN: “Mitt has been successful at each challenge he’s taken on.”

“He was not handed success; he BUILT IT.”

YEAH AND HE USED TO TOTALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW HER, SHE’S FROM ANOTHER TOWN. “Mitt doesn’t like talking about helping others.”

OH DEAR GOD NO. “He will take America to a better place, just like he took me home safely from that dance.”

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Republican Convention: Does not compute

In the Up-and-Coming-Wingnuts portion of the Convention, Texas senatorial candidate Ted Cruz just said that Democrats are telling Hispanics they’re not welcome here.

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Herman Cain says he’s hired investigators to find the source of those stories about his sexual indiscretions during the primaries. I can say you the money, Herman: it was your dick.

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Today -100: August 28, 1912: An intelligent interest in their own affairs

The NYT, and Dem. VP candidate Marshall, deny Roosevelt’s claim that the people are not ruling themselves. Why, state legislatures are elected every two years in 40 of the states, annually in 7, and quadrennially in Alabama. If the people “fail to take an intelligent interest in their own affairs,” it’s their own damned fault.

I brought that up to highlight that whatever else was wrong with 1912-style democracy, there were a lot more elections than there are now. Many governors were still elected annually.

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I’ve thought of something good to say about Mitt Romney

Unlike oh, say, Sarah Palin, after he loses in November we will never hear from him again.

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Today -100: August 27, 1912: Of black balls (ahem), Sunday mail, and capitalist wars

Attorney General George Wickersham goes to the annual meeting of the American Bar Association to defend Asst Attorney General William Lewis (and two other members), who the ABA is trying to expel because they were admitted before the ABA realized they were black.

Congress snuck into the Post Office Budget Bill a ban on Sunday deliveries, which major cities had.

Keir Hardie, former leader of the British Labour Party, on a visit to the US, says that the working class would not stand for a war with Germany and will not “be deluded into fighting for capital in the event of trouble.” So that’s okay then.

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The saddest words ever spoken

Romney: “You know, all I can do is be what I am.”

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Today -100: August 26, 1912: Of campaign contributions and massacres

The Senate Committee investigating campaign finances won’t take Theodore Roosevelt’s testimony today, as he had asked, nay demanded, but maybe in October...

Another massacre by Turkish forces, in Simnitza, on the Serbian border.

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Today -100: August 25, 1912: Of general deficiencies, campaign contributions, a byword and cause for hissing, and duels

Congress was supposed to adjourn for the year, but instead is deadlocked on the General Deficiency Bill. And I’m not going to read any more of the article than that, because the reality of whatever a General Deficiency Bill is just would not, could not match up to any of the ideas of what a General Deficiency Bill might be that are going through my head.

One thing the Senate is doing: discussing campaign finances. Or, to put it a another way, Republicans are trying to accuse trust-buster Roosevelt of having been aware of campaign contributions Standard Oil made to the Republican Party in 1904, and that he then ordered Standard prosecuted as a monopoly because it refused to give even more money. This is all nonsense, and as near as I can figure, the R’s are trying to raise the issue just enough that it’ll tarnish TR without holding a full inquiry that would exonerate him. TR is demanding that he be allowed to testify, sharpish. Threats of libel suits are winging back and forth. John Archbold of Standard, who made these charges, has conveniently gone on vacation in Europe.

South Carolina Sen. Benjamin Tillman asks voters not to re-elect Coleman Blease, who he says has disgraced South Carolina “and its good name made a byword and cause for hissing.” That’s “Pitchfork” Ben Tillman saying that.

Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “Fatal Duel Fought With One Revolver.” They took turns. One is dead, the other will probably die too.

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Today -100: August 24, 1912: Of canals, plots, and Balkan wars

Taft will give in to the Senate and sign the Panama Canal Bill, violating various treaties by exempting American ships going from one US coast to the other from the toll. Britain will then demand arbitration under its treaty with the US, which the Senate will reject on the grounds that the Canal is a domestic issue.

6 IWWers arrested for an alleged plot to blow up a theater in San Diego and assassinate the chief of police and captain of detectives.

Turkey is fighting Montenegro (which was more or less a country).

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Today -100: August 23, 1912: Darn the government, darn the socks

Headline of the Day -100: “Suffragists To Darn Socks.” Minnesota suffragists at the state fair. Bring your socks, fellas. Oh, and there’s a “war cry”:

Darn the Government; darn the socks;
That’s the way to the ballot box;
Patch the holes in hubby’s hose,
March to the polls and voice our woes.

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Today -100: August 22, 1912: Of dying veeps

The US sends more troops to Nicaragua to protect American-owned property.

Vice President James Sherman makes a speech accepting the Republican nomination for vice president, against doctor’s orders. This was the only time the Republican Party had ever re-nominated a VP, and he happens to be dying. He grumps that everything in this new age is going too fast, with the frenzied speech and the “automobiles rac[ing] to carry their passengers to death at a mile a minute” and that Titanic. I guess that’s meant to refer to Roosevelt. He also says that Wilson is a pedant not a statesman.

The Bull Moose Party will run Dr. A. O. Zwick against Rep. Nicholas Longworth, Theodore Roosevelt’s son-in-law. But what will Alice do?

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Today -100: August 21, 1912: Of Sally generals and bandstands

“General” William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, dies at 83.

Indiana Gov. Thomas R. Marshall is officially informed of his nomination as Woodrow Wilson’s running mate at an event at which 75+ people are injured when a bandstand collapses.

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A rape is a rape is a rape, to quote Gertrude Stein

Mitt Romney used stronger language – “reprehensible,” “terrible mistake” – against Kevin Yoder’s skinny-dipping than he did against Todd Akin’s legitimate rapeiness.

By the way, I’m not sure why, but “yoder” seems like the perfect word, if one were needed, for someone who gets drunk & swims naked in the Sea of Galilee.

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Obama held a short surprise press conference today.

He explained, “Rape is rape.”

He denied accusing Romney of being a felon.

MAN, HE IS SO NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS ELECTION CAMPAIGN: “They can run the campaign that they want, but the truth of the matter is you can’t just make stuff up.”

NOTHING IS MORE “OVERLY PERSONAL” TO MITT ROMNEY THAN HIS MONEY: “The American people have assumed that if you want to be President of the United States, that your life is an open book when it comes to things like your finances. I mean, this isn’t sort of overly personal here, guys. This is pretty standard stuff.”

WHAT HE HAS INDICATED REPEATEDLY TO PRESIDENT ASSAD: “I have indicated repeatedly that President al-Assad has lost legitimacy, that he needs to step down. So far, he hasn’t gotten the message, and instead has double downed [sic] in violence on his own people.” Well, I’m sure he’s heard the message, he just doesn’t acknowledge the role the president of the United States evidently assigns himself in determining the legitimacy of Syrian leaders.

ER, ISN’T THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE? “We cannot have a situation where chemical or biological weapons are falling into the hands of the wrong people.”

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Trying to shut that whole thing down

If Todd Akin drops out because he’s an idiot, that’s good for America. If he drops out because Karl Rove is cutting off his money, that’s actually bad for America.

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Today -100: August 20, 1912: Of massacres and copyrights

Headline of the Day -100: “To Celebrate Massacre.” The town of New Ulm, Minn., is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Dakota Sioux attack on the town. I assume there will be cake.

Congress votes for motion pictures to come under the copyright laws.

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Deep empathy just sounds dirty when Todd Akin says it

Todd Akin issues a statement saying he has “deep empathy” for women who have been (legitimately) raped, he just thinks they have an extra internal organ that shoots lasers at the sperm of rapists, or something.

While he says he “misspoke,” he does not say in what way he misspoke, i.e., whether he knows that his comments about female biology are batshit crazy. He’s not even willing to pretend that he knows that his comments about female biology are batshit crazy.

Finally, he insisted that his “primary focus” in the senatorial race are deficits and unemployment, and accused people focusing on his batshit craziness of trying to “distract” from those things, so stop distracting everyone, slutty rape victims! Todd Akin, of course, is distracted by shiny objects and fetuses.

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The female body has ways

So according to senatorial candidate Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), victims of “legitimate rape” can’t get pregnant – “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” He knows this from doctors. So if you get pregnant, you’re a slut who is lying about being raped. And if you float, you’re a witch.

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Today -100: August 19, 1912: Of apples and Southerners

Throngs hanging around Woodrow Wilson’s home, waiting for a glimpse of the man, have taken all the apples from his apple trees.

Today -100’s NYT is filled with letters from Southern editors, politicians and others saying that Southerners won’t vote for Roosevelt. The editor of the Augusta Chronicle, for example, says that there are only two white men in Richmond County who incline to him and “one of these is a Taft disappointee, while the other is just queer.”

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Today -100: August 18, 1912: Of party-line voting, dead issues, indecision, and jury-tampering

This is the 1,000th Today -100 post. Collect them all.

Republicans in Illinois are considering fucking with the Bull Moosers by depriving them of the circle on the ballot that voters can use to vote a straight-party ticket, so that Bull Moose voters, unlike R’s & D’s, would have to find and vote for each BM candidate one by one.

Roosevelt, asked by an audience member at a speech to talk about Taft, said “I never discuss dead issues. I want to come back to something serious.” Ouch.

Woodrow Wilson’s people say he hasn’t made up his mind about women’s suffrage, but he’s thinking about it really really hard and might come to a conclusion, oh, some time after the election.

Clarence Darrow is acquitted of bribing a juror, but there will be a second trial for alleged bribery of another juror.

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Mitt would approve

The Cal State system plans to admit almost no Californian students for the spring 2013 semester, but will admit out-of-staters and foreign students who pay the big bucks. So much for the concept of state universities. Also, lovely to see admissions policy being made primarily on financial rather than academic grounds. How many years before admissions are auctioned off on eBay?

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Today -100: August 17, 1912: To have a man on both sides of the fight when we are on one side is uncomfortable, especially when he is behind you

President Taft attacks presidential electors whose names appear on the Republican ballot but who intend to support Roosevelt. “[W]e have to be a single party, and not a part of two parties. I don’t think we are unfair in asking that we be given a chance for a fair fight, and in counting those against us who are not with us. To have a man on both sides of the fight when we are on one side is uncomfortable, especially when he is behind you.” Taft sounds rather as if he’s heading for a nervous breakdown.

Helen Keller sings to a convention of otologists at Harvard Medical School. Evidently she has absolute pitch.

A Philadelphia city council member resigns. He turns out to have had a former life as a thief, under another name, possibly Jean Valjean. He served a 7-year prison sentence and then made good, but a former prison associate found him and was blackmailing him, so he quit.

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Today -100: August 16, 1912: Of taking sides, and singing

The Nicaraguan government asks the US for help in fighting the rebels. Meanwhile, the State Dept is denying yesterday’s report that US forces fought the rebels.

Headline of the Day -100: “Helen Keller Can Sing Now.” Review in tomorrow’s paper.

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Today -100: August 15, 1912: Of taking sides, and emancipation

American troops have been fighting the rebels in Nicaragua.

Taft wants to establish a preliminary commission to consider holding an exposition to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation. The commission would serve without salary, because irony.

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Collapsing

Riyad Hijab, the Syrian prime minister who defected, says that the Assad regime is collapsing, adding, hey, you didn’t think I left for moral reasons, did you?

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Today -100: August 14, 1912: Of lynchings, funerals, and traps to catch the votes of discontented people

A mob seizes a 16-year-old black youth in Columbus, Georgia, after he receives a sentence of only three years for manslaughter of a white boy, and you know the rest.

Sing Sing set some sort of record for most executions in a day this week. And the bodies of five Italian men who were sent to the electric chair for a single murder are put on display at an entrepreneurial undertakers on Mulberry St. Everyone is welcome! Donations gratefully accepted.

Eugene Debs, in a letter to the NYT, says that the really progressive planks of the Progressive Party were stolen from the Socialist platform, but that the Bull Moose Party contains too many diverse and conflicting economic elements, and its platform is too much a hodgepodge, to form the basis of national party, and further, it depends too much on the personality of one man, who has “shrewdly seized upon the prevailing popular unrest and has baited his platform like a trap to catch the votes of the discontented people.” Gotta say Debs pretty much nails it.

Composer Jules Massenet dies.

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Sarah Palin is excited to hear voices

Sarah Palin won’t speak at the Republican Convention: “This year is a good opportunity for other voices to speak at the convention and I’m excited to hear them.”

People, Sarah, I know it’s hard to conceive of there being other people than yourself, but those would be people speaking, not voices.

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Today -100: August 13, 1912: Of women smokers, canals, bears, and opened mail

Woodrow Wilson’s wife Ellen repudiates a fake interview which claimed she endorsed women smoking. In fact, she denounces the practice as having “an extremely injurious effect on the nerves.” (The interview may in fact not have been fake, but an interview of a Mrs. Wilson Woodrow rather than Mrs. Woodrow Wilson. Mrs. Wilson Woodrow actually used to be married to a relative of Woodrow Wilson).

Nicaraguan rebels bombard Managua.

Rep. Theron Catlin (R-Missouri) is unseated and replaced by his Democratic opponent for having spent $10,200 on his election campaign, in violation of Missouri law restricting him to $662 (Catlin will run again in November, and lose).

Germany is threatening that if Holland doesn’t accede to its plans to take control of the Rhine river and impose high tolls, it will build a canal between Cologne and Emden to transfer the traffic currently going through Rotterdam to Emden.

Remember that bear cub given to Robert Taft by the Blackfeet? Another bear, possibly its mother, bit through the rope tying it to a tree and it escaped.

Robert La Follette, who has been investigating something or other in the Post Office system, says his mail has been opened. LA Times headline: “La Follette Seeing Things.”

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Today -100: August 12, 1912: Of firing squads, cows, and ringlings

Nevada gave prisoners who were sentenced to death the right to choose between hanging and firing squad, and Andriji Mirkovich chose the latter. But the warden can’t find five men to form the firing squad.

Woodrow Wilson comes out against prohibition but in favor of local option, and says such social and moral issues should not be part of party platforms.

Republican congresscritters, scared shitless that they might have to declare in favor of either Taft or Roosevelt, have found a loophole in an anti-corruption law forbidding congressional candidates from promising public offices in return for support. They say that means they can’t announce their support for T or R, which of course it doesn’t.

The NYT is endlessly fascinated with the participation of women in Bull Moose politics, including the naming of four women, one of them Jane Addams, to the National Committee. I’m waiting with some trepidation for the Times to realize that a female bull moose is called a cow.

The NYT says Hiram Johnson, Roosevelt’s running mate, will resign as governor of California. The LAT says he will not resign.

The sultan of Morocco plans to abdicate in favor of his brother, but France won’t let him until he publicly announces that he is doing it for health reasons, so no one thinks they forced him out.

A con man is arrested on the verge of marrying a Miss Grace Spence of Berkeley. He was impersonating, of all people, one of the Ringling Brothers. He was also in the middle of negotiating with the city of Venice, CA for a $25,000 bonus to locate the winter quarters of the circus there, but was found out when he bounced a check, one of many.

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It’s the granny-eyed zombie-starver, or something

My observations on the announcement of Paul Ryan: There’s something deeply weird about a chant of “Mitt Mitt Mitt Mitt.”

That is all.

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Today -100: August 11, 1912: Of funerals and massacres

Secretary of State Philander Knox is going all the way to Tokyo to attend the emperor’s funeral.

Turks massacred 140 Bulgarians, supposedly.

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Today -100: August 10, 1912: Of dirty and black-hearted liars, American bottoms, and canals

Headline of the Day -100: “‘Liar!’ Shouts Gov. Blease.” South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease, who does not seem to be running out of ways to call people liars, calls the person who says Blease was paid to steer the case of a millionaire wanted on a Tennessee warrant to a judge who would release him “as dirty and black-hearted a liar as ever disgraced a Christian state.”

The House passes the Wireless Bill, giving the federal government the power to license and regulate the airwaves. It includes a provision that wireless messages must only be given to those for whom they are intended.

The Senate passes the Panama Canal Bill, giving American ships free passage through the canal (when it opens), or as the NYT puts it, “From the beginning to the end it was evident that the Senate was bent on granting free passage to American bottoms.” This is a violation of the treaty under which the Canal is being built. Also, ships owned by companies which are in violation of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act or the Inter-State Commerce Act or are owned by railroad companies will be banned from the canal.

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Note to Scott Brown

If you find yourself following the words “I want every legal vote to count” with the word “but”, you might want to stop right there and have a little think.

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Today -100: August 9, 1912: Of blown-up presidents

The Pope orders the Catholic Total Abstinence Union (meaning abstinence from booze – get your mind out of the gutter), currently holding a convention at Notre Dame, not to affiliate with the Prohibition Party.

The Haitian presidential palace and indeed the Haitian president Cincinnatus Leconte are blown to bits. Hundreds die. Maybe not a good idea to keep massive quantities of explosives in the basement.

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Today -100: August 8, 1912: A train robber is better than a public yeg

The Bull Moose Party nominates one Theodore Roosevelt for president and California Gov. Hiram Johnson for vice president. TR’s nomination was seconded by Jane Addams, the first time a woman performed such a role.

In Oklahoma County, the retired train robber Al Jennings, who was pardoned by President Roosevelt, wins a primary for the office of county attorney. He accuses the current “Court House gang” of embezzling $50,000. “A train robber is better than a public yeg” is his slogan.

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Today -100: August 7, 1912: Of bull moosers, burning houses, and bears

Roosevelt gives a speech or, as he insists on calling it, his confession of faith, to the Bull Moose convention (this may be the first time a presidential candidate of any party has given a speech at a party convention). Excerpt: “the fundamental concern of the privileged interests is to beat the new party. Some of them would rather beat it with Mr. Wilson; others would rather beat it with Mr. Taft; but the difference between Mr. Wilson and Mr. Taft they consider as trivial, as a mere matter of personal preference.”

He calls for standardized factory and mine inspection; standardized compensation for industrial accidents and death; a ban on the employment of women over forty-eight hours per week; a ban on the seven-day working week; the protective tariff (set “scientifically”); women’s suffrage (“In those conservative States where there is genuine doubt how the women stand on this matter I suggest that it be referred to a vote of the women”); court rulings to be subject to the “final control of the American people as a whole.”

In a supposedly impromptu deviation from the prepared text, TR goes into the whole negro question, saying that the negro delegates to Republican conventions for the last 45 years have been of such a character as reflected discredit on both the Republican Party and the negro race. Which I guess is supposed to justify excluding Southern negro delegates of whatever character from the Progressive convention. He notes that many northern states and even Maryland and West Virginia voluntarily sent black delegates, “because they represent an element of colored men who have won the esteem and respect of their white neighbors,” which is obviously the important thing. And by not forcing negroes on the South, we shall “naturally and spontaneously” see the Southern states do what Maryland and West Virginia did in the, you know, future.

The NYT calls TR’s program “a vast system of State Socialism, a Government of men unrestrained by laws. ... business would be regulated and controlled from Washington... he would teach the weak, the unfortunate, and the unemployed to look to the Government for relief.”

At the trial of suffragists for attempting to burn down the Theatre Royal in Dublin, Gladys Evans says she was encouraged to do so by the words of the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster (that is to say, a member of the Cabinet), C.E. Hobhouse, who said that the suffragettes would accomplish nothing until they begin to burn houses.

Robert Taft, son of the president, is given a bear by the Blackfeet Indians.

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Today -100: August 6, 1912: Of bull moosers

The NYT on the Bull Moose convention: “It was not a convention at all. It was an assemblage of religious enthusiasts. ... It was a Methodist camp meeting done over into political terms.”


Jane Addams of Hull House is a delegate at the convention and is not happy with its fucking-over of Southern blacks.

Oh, those Marines Taft sent to Nicaragua were sent at the request of the government. If you say so.

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Today -100: August 5, 1912: Dat jes’ makes me laff

Just for laughs, the NYT has been asking Southern politicians what they think of Roosevelt’s bifurcated policy of white supremacy in the South/asking for negro votes in the North. Rep. Ben Johnson (D-Kentucky) says it “makes me think of the old darky down in the Blue Grass region, who, when asked what he thought of a certain utterance, said, ‘Dat jes’ makes me laff.’” Southern politicians – always ready with a good “darky” story.

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That’s upside-down economics

Today, Obama gave a little speech on the subject of tax cuts.

And who was with him, you ask? “I am joined here today by moms and dads, husbands and wives, middle-class Americans who work hard every single day to provide for their families. And like most Americans, they work hard and they don’t ask for much. They do expect, however, that their hard work is going to pay off.” Wow, they just don’t understand America at all, do they?

What do they want to know? “They want to know that if they put in enough effort, if they are acting responsibly, then they can afford to pay the bills; that they can afford to own a home that they call their own; that they can afford to secure their retirement; and most of all, that they can afford to give their kids greater opportunity -- that their children and grandchildren can achieve things that they didn’t even imagine.” Or at least pierce body parts that they didn’t even imagine.

BUT HE DOESN’T SAY HOW MANY AMERICANS FEELING THEIR FINANCIAL SECURITY SLIPPING AWAY IS THE RIGHT NUMBER: “We’ve got more work to do on their behalf -- not only to reclaim all the jobs that were lost during the recession, but also to reclaim the kind of financial security that too many Americans have felt was slipping away from them for too long.”

WHO DOES ALL THAT REBUILDING? I’M GUESSING MEXICANS. “Rebuilding a strong economy begins with rebuilding our middle class.”

BUT HE DOESN’T SAY HOW MANY WORKING FAMILIES STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET IS THE RIGHT NUMBER: “So, at a time when too many working families are already struggling to make ends meet”.

SO AMERICANS SHOULD GROW THEIR MIDDLES AND BOTTOMS? WAY AHEAD OF YOU, MR. PRESIDENT! “That’s not how you grow an economy. You grow an economy from the middle out, and from the bottom up.”

KINKY! “That’s not just top-down economics, that’s upside-down economics.”

WHAT WE CAN ARGUE ABOUT: “Let’s keep taxes low for 98 percent of Americans, and we can argue about the other 2 percent.”

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Today -100: August 4, 1912: With antlers on my forehead and a big stick in my hand

The NYT is surprised and fascinated and aroused by the number of women participating in the NY Bull Moose convention (one-fourth, they say). At any rate, its focus on the women allows the Times to treat the convention with all the condescension in its considerable arsenal. Mary Dreier, president of the New York Women’s Trade Union League (we’ve seen her before helping organize the shirtwaist-makers’ strike), is selected as one of 4 delegates.

The Bull Moose national committee is rejecting the credentials of negro delegates from the South in much the same way that the Republican convention rejected credentials of Roosevelt supporters. This would have been ironic, but I don’t think irony had been invented yet. In Florida, it seems that the party’s national committee told negro Roosevelt supporters that they should meet in St. Augustine – on the same day the state convention was being held in Ocala. In Mississippi they didn’t have to resort to a ruse, because they held the convention in a segregated hotel.

Here, by the way, is what seems to be the party song:

I like to be a Bull Moose
And with the Bull Moose stand,
With antlers on my forehead
And a big stick in my hand.

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Today -100: August 3, 1912: Of gunboats, harbors, black bull moose, and lepers

Revolution in Nicaragua, again. Taft sends a gunboat, as is traditional.

Remember the baseless panic about the Japanese supposedly secretly buying Magdalena Bay in Mexico? The Senate has voted to expand the Monroe Doctrine to oppose any harbor in the Western Hemisphere falling into the hands of any corporation or association connected to foreign powers (except for the US, of course). During the discussion, one (unnamed) senator suggested leveraging US claims for compensation for damage from the two Mexican revolutions to force Mexico to give us Baja California.

The only Bull Moosers that they could find in South Carolina willing to be delegates to the national convention were black. So... there will be no South Carolina delegates to the national convention. There will be competing black and white delegations from Miss., Alabama and Georgia.

Who knew so much of the talk about the new third party would revolve around race? Certainly not Theodore Roosevelt, who tries to explain how he’s really a great friend of the negro in a letter – and I swear to god I’m not making this up – to Uncle Remus Magazine. He says he’s in favor of treating all men the same. He says that in the South the Democrats have maintained their power by encouraging the hatred of the white man for the black, while the Republican machine has tried to perpetuate itself by stirring up the black man. In fact, it was the corrupt black delegates to the 1912 Republican convention, by “their own greed for money or office” (i.e., their support for Taft and the party establishment), who brought about the split in the party. And as long as the parties in the South exploit race in the way he describes, we can’t “secure what a future of real justice will undoubtedly develop, namely, the right of political expression by the negro who shows that he possesses the intelligence, integrity, and self-respect which justify such right of political expression in his white neighbor.” So anyway, the exclusion of negro delegates from the South from the Bull Moose convention is really for the benefit of negroes, the end.

Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “Leper Worrying Denver.”

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When Ann Romney says...

that a certain family member is “consistent and elegant,” “did not disappoint” and “thrilled me to death,” you can be pretty sure she is not talking about her husband.

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For those majoring in crazy and/or meatheadedness

If you were a student of one of these Southern Californian universities, I’m not sure which would be more worrying to read in today’s LA Times:

1) A pharmaceutical sciences professor at UC Irvine (his UCI faculty page only misspells pharmaceutical once) set several fires and planned to get “a dozen machine guns” to shoot up the high school attended by his son, who committed suicide.

2) USC will establish a think tank in association with well-known thinker Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sez the former governator, “It would be a shame to think what I learned from my governorship over seven years … ways of solving problems — will now be left behind and no one will benefit.” Yup, that would be a shame all right.

Oh lord, USC will make him a professor of state and global policy. And “The university is also in discussions with Schwarzenegger to house his personal collection at the institute.” Personal collection of what, the LAT does not explain. The mind boggles, really.

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Today -100: August 2, 1912: Of race and progress

Blacks in Mississippi hold their own Bull Moose convention separate from the white convention and elect their own delegates to the Chicago convention.

Roosevelt sanctions the exclusion of negro delegates to the national “Progressive” Party convention from the Southern states, but he tries to position it as a principled position, to prevent a situation like that at the Republican Convention, where black delegates from the Democratic South represented no one, there being no functioning R party there, and were used as fodder by the national party establishment. There will be black delegates from the North, he says, a fair number of them in fact.

At the White House, Taft gives a speech accepting the nomination. He is against socialism. I mean, if you were wondering about that. He admits that certain douchebags have accumulated “ill-gotten wealth,” but says the best way to deal with this is “to await the diminution of this evil by natural causes”. He says Wilson and Roosevelt’s policies both lead to “appropriation of what belongs to one man to another.” He is also against Progressive reform of political institutions, because the American people are too lazy to handle referenda and recalls and so on.

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Today -100: August 1, 1912: Of third parties and Prince Alberts

The nascent Bull Moose/Progressive Party is looking to be an ill-thought-out mess. The problem is that it’s not clear whether it’s intended to be simply a vehicle for Roosevelt’s ambitions or a real third-party, and until that’s clear few people are willing to commit to it. The man the party intended to run for attorney general in Illinois, for example, State Sen. Albert Isley, refuses to run, saying there is no need for a third party.

Former House Speaker Joseph Cannon pops in to the White House offices to ask if he needs to wear his Prince Albert to the ceremonies notifying Taft of his re-nomination. Um, right.

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