If my liver makes people talk about the issues then some good will come of it

I bought a package of chicken breasts from Safeway, and found there was also what appeared to be a tentacle.

This is a Norwegian newspaper. The picture at the top is of American soldiers with some Iraqi thieves they have caught, and decided to punish by burning their clothes, writing “Ali Baba--thief” on one, and marching them naked through a park. Which looks an awful lot like a kiddie park, so you can see why marching naked men through it seemed like a good idea. (This story does not seem to run in either the NY Times or the WashPost, although a couple of British papers have it--par for the course. Only the Norwegians have pics.)

Colin Powell writes to the Spanish foreign minister defending the soldiers who shot up the Palestine Hotel in Baghdad, killing among others a Spanish cameraman. He repeats the story that they were responding to fire from the hotel, which was categorically discredited more than two weeks ago. But then this is the man who first investigated My Lai and claimed nothing happened.

Headline: “Dixie Chick Regrets Choice of Words.” Which word? Dixie, or chick?

Bush finally comes out in defense of Rick Santorum several days after Senator Sanctimonious made his original homophobic remarks. Meaning that like with Trent Lott’s racist remarks a few months ago, he decided to wait until he found out whether there’d be political fallout, and in this case decided that there wasn’t. The weather vane has spoken: gay-bashing is officially acceptable. As long as it’s “inclusive,” I guess. Here’s an exchange from a Friday press conference:

Reporter: What's the president's beliefs about homosexuality?

Ari Fleischer: You know, that's a question that's been put to the president, and if you go back and you look at it, the president has said that, first of all, he doesn't ask that question about people. He judges people about who they are, their individual soul. That's not a matter the president concerns himself with. He judges people for how they act and how they relate, and that's his focus on that.

As to whether private sexual acts should be illegal, Fleischer said that he couldn’t comment about matters before the Supreme Court. (Remember that the court case is from Texas, from when Bush was governor).

The US (motto: do as we say, not as we do) has accused N Korea of blackmail. And prepares to retaliate against France for not doing exactly what we wanted. Actually, the only use to which nuclear weapons have ever been put (since August 9, 1945, anyway) is blackmail. That’s what they’re for.

The US is also blaming Iran for stirring up the Shiites in Iraq against America. You don’t think all those bombs might have something to do with why they aren’t all that thrilled with us?

Another questionable miracle of modern medical science: it is now possible for men with HIV to safely father children (because the virus is carried in the semen, not the sperm).

The president of PETA has willed that after death her body be barbecued, except her feet, which will be cut off to make umbrella stands, her skin, which will be turned into leather products, her liver sent to France, because “If my liver makes people talk about the issues then some good will come of it.” Oh, and some part of her heart buried near the Formula One track in Germany. That one’s not a protest, she just likes car racing.

In South Wales, a man in court for sending offensive emails to a company which wouldn’t hire him, produces a character reference from the pope. Which was fake. (“Papal Bull,” the Daily Telegraph headline read)

A rather impressive suicide. A builder constructed this elaborate thing involving a timer, a jigsaw cutter and a guillotine. It took three months. To build I mean, not three months to cut off his head.