Special good news edition: forces of evil defeated by cultural imperialists, ketchup and a few lions

The cultural imperialists defeat Japanese attempts to get the International Whaling Commission to reverse the ban on commercial whaling.

The class wars continue in England, and the working class takes a scalp. The British newspapers have been fascinated for days by a story about a lawyer who tried to get a secretary who had spilled ketchup on him to pay for his dry-cleaning. His email and her reply, “I must apologise for not getting back to you straight away but due to my mother’s sudden illness, death and funeral I have had more pressing issues that your £4. ...” have been making the email rounds. Today the lawyer resigned.

In Ethiopia three lions, going all Nicholas Kristof, drive off the kidnappers of a 12-year old girl who had been beating her in an attempt to coerce her into marriage. The lions stood guard until the police arrived. I’ve read several versions of this story, and none give the sex of the lions. They do say that 70% or more of Ethiopian marriages begin with an abduction.