Hopefully touching somebody’s soul by representing our country

Bush went to Greensburg, Kansas in order to be photographed stepping over tornado damage


and hugging and generally comforting the victims.



And what sight could be more comforting than George Bush with a dangerous power tool?


He then told us that “A lot of us have seen the pictures about what happened here and pictures don’t do it justice.” Pictures... about... he’s talking about The Wizard of Oz, isn’t he?

BAD TOUCH: “My mission is to -- today, though, is to lift people’s spirits as best as I possibly can and to hopefully touch somebody’s soul by representing our country, and to let people know that while there was a dark day in the past, there’s brighter days ahead.”

Speaking of dangerous power tools, Dick Cheney informed the press that he told various Iraqis to, um, do stuff. “During the course of the meetings I emphasized the importance of making progress on the issues before us”. Good, because I’m sure they couldn’t have realized the importance of making progress on issues all by themselves, Dick. But what sort of issues? “I think they recognize that it’s in their interest as well as in our interest that they make progress on the political front just as we deal with the security issues.” Oh, political issues, why didn’t you say? And did your message about the importance of making progress on political issues sink in, Dick? “I do believe that there is a greater sense of urgency now than I’d seen previously.”


Really, the entire purpose of the trip was to stop the Iraqi National Assembly taking a two-month break from its busy schedule of doing whatever it is that the Iraqi National Assembly actually does.