Monday, March 10, 2008

Bush and Tusk


This morning, Bush met with Poland’s Prime Minister Donald Tusk. This is Prime Minister Tusk.

US Poland

He thanked Prime Minister Tusk (yes, I’m quite enjoying writing “Prime Minister Tusk” over and over): “I also thank you to help the young democracy in Afghanistan survive and thrive and flourish. And some day, Mr. Prime Minister, people are going to say Afghanistan did exactly the same thing that happened in Poland -- people realized the blessings of liberty, and out of those blessings flow peace.” Poland, Afghanistan, really exactly alike when you think about it, if you squint really hard and hit yourself on the head with a mallet.

Bush US Poland

WHAT IS IMPORTANT: “It’s important for our allies to -- when they are worried about the modernization of their forces that friends respond, and we’re responding.” Responding with gibberish, evidently, but at least we’re responding, and that’s the important thing.

He and Prime Minister Tusk discussed “the significant threat to the 21st century, or perhaps the most significant is the launch of a missile with dangerous materials in its warhead.” As opposed to a missile with borscht in its warhead.

THESE SUCH TYPES: “Technologies are developing that will enable the free world to be able to defend itself from blackmail and/or strife from these such types of launches.” So we’re developing an anti-blackmail and/or strife defense system (ABSDS).

Bush and Tusk, 3.10.08  3

Next week, Cheney will begin a trip to the Middle East, to visit his oil. According to Bush, “His goal is to reassure people...” Cheney? “...that the United States is committed to a vision of peace...” Cheney?? “...in the Middle East, that we expect relevant parties to obligate themselves -- uphold their obligations on the road map.” He added, “The Vice President will be taking a very hopeful message...” CHENEY??!? “...to the Middle East that progress in Iraq is necessary for peace in the Middle East.” That’s a very hopeful message? That progress in Iraq is necessary for peace in the Middle East? Isn’t that more like a “boy are you guys fucked” message?

Bush US Poland

Speaking of the road map that we expect relevant parties to obligate themselves – uphold their obligations on, “the Secretary of State is dispatching the general that we named to be the coordinator of road map activities to the Middle East, for him to conduct meetings with the relevant parties.” No reporter asked Legacy Boy if he could remember the name of that general.

Bush and Tusk, 3.10.08  2

I’m sure some of you find the Middle East to be a complex and baffling place. Fortunately, George Bush is here to simplify it for you: “There are three major forces that are -- we’re now witnessing in the Middle East. Two of those forces adhere to peace: Israel and the forces of President Abbas. And then there’s one force in the Middle East, and some suspect that they’re funded from outside governments and outside movements, all aiming to destabilize democracy; all aiming to prevent the vision where people can live side by side in peace; all wanting to destroy Israel.” See, isn’t that simple and easy to understand? Wait, who are the forces that adhere to peace again?

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