On the internet, nobody knows you’re a perverted cat

Follow-up on that British tourist whose genitals were set on fire in Crete: his parents say it was “a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Well, part of him certainly was.

Silly season headline: “Husband Tried to Win Back Wife by Poisoning Her.” It didn’t so much work.

Another silly season headline: “Florida Man Blames Cat for Downloading Child Pornography.” Over 1,000 images. The Guardian even has a picture of the cat, although his or her name is evidently being withheld from the public. Er, if I held a CONTEST to suggest an appropriate name for a child-porn-loving kitteh, how much would I wind up regretting it?