Friday, May 06, 2011

Every single fibre


Unexpectedly, the Scottish National Party has been elected to an absolute majority in the Scottish Parliament, and will at some point hold a referendum on independence. David Cameron says “If they want to hold a referendum, I will campaign to keep our United Kingdom together with every single fibre I have.” He wants the UK kept together with his fibres? Every single one of them? How many fibres does he have? Ah, I see, fibre is from the Latin fibra, meaning entrails. So he wants Scotland literally tied to England using his own intestines. Personally I support Scottish independence, if the Scots vote for it, but I’m also quite in favor of disemboweling David Cameron, so I’m rather conflicted here.

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This is what happens when you blog on a Friday night: you start by picking at a phrase – “I will campaign to keep our United Kingdom together with every single fibre I have” – that can be read in two different ways, and it just goes all weird and disgusting and unpostable, but you post it anyway, just because you’re bored (although not so bored that I’ll write about the failure of the Alternative Vote referendum).

You’re welcome.

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