Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Saddened for Scooter

Cheney says, “I am very disappointed with the verdict. I am saddened for Scooter and his family.” Your mantra for today: “Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter.”

Bush spoke to the American Legion today. He praised himself for putting $86 billion for veterans in his budget: “this would amount to a 77 percent increase of the budget since I took office; it would be the highest level of support for our veterans in American history.” Er, you also created a whole lot more of them, many with expensive catastrophic injuries; I don’t really think you get to brag about that like it’s some kind of accomplishment.

He gave his standard pro-“surge” speech. He says it’s necessary because after the Samarra bombing, “the sectarian violence was getting out of hand.” Out of hand? Out of fucking hand??? Crabgrass is out of hand. The dog peeing on the carpet is out of hand. Jenna and Not-Jenna’s partying is out of hand.

Samarra, he says, was “designed to provoke retaliation... And the result was a tragic escalation of sectarian rage and reprisal.” In other words (dammit, now Bush has me doing the “in other words” thing), things got “out of hand” because Iraqis responding to terrorist provocation exactly the way the terrorists wanted them to. So, he goes on, we should escalate our military presence in Baghdad because it’s what the terrorists want us to do: “They’re not debating whether the war in Iraq is worth it. Hear the words of bin Laden, in a message to the American people just last year. He says of Iraq: ‘The war is for you or for us to win. If we win it, it means your defeat and disgrace forever. Nyaa nyaa.’”

I may have added the “nyaa nyaa.” Then again, I may not have.

He says of the non-binding resolution, “Members of Congress have every right to express their opinion. They have every right. They also have a responsibility to fund our war fighters.” War fighters? Also, you notice how he has “principles,” while members of Congress have “opinions”?

Bush has not yet said whether he too is saddened for Scooter.

(Update: He is indeed “saddened”. How sad.)

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