A pure and absolute democrat

A prisoner in Texas due to be executed later this month is asking people to send him jokes he might use for his last words. He won’t work blue, though.

A Palestinian group, Righteous Sword of Islam, has issued a statement that puppies are nice.

What? It could happen. Just because they’re called the Righteous Sword of Islam doesn’t mean they don’t think that puppies are nice.

Oh, all right, in fact they ordered women appearing on Palestinian tv to wear veils or else they would be killed. “If necessary, we will behead and slaughter to preserve the spirit and morals of our people.” Gosh, there may be some sort of contradiction in there somewhere, but I just can’t put my finger on it...

Speaking of unclear on the concept, Vladimir Putin told reporters, “Of course, I am a pure and absolute democrat. But you know what the problem is – not a problem, a real tragedy – that I am alone. There are no such pure democrats in the world. Since Mahatma Gandhi, there has been no one.” I think he just wants Ben Kingsley to play him in the movie.