Thursday, January 05, 2006

I appreciate you being such a solid citizen of our country

The population of Japan is in a slight decline, but it is the Year of the Dog, so Prime Minister Koizumi has advised Japanese women to do it doggy style and learn from their canine sisters: “Dogs produce lots of puppies and, when they do, the pains of labour are easy.” Clearly the problem with Japanese women is that they aren’t producing large enough litters.

Speaking of large litter, this is the Guardian headline about Ariel Sharon: “Huge Shadow Cast Over Israel.” Is this really the time to be making fat jokes? Oh, sure it is, go right ahead.

Several high-fatality suicide bombings in Iraq today, including yet another attack on yet another line of applicants for police jobs, cleverly located outside the Ramadi Glass and Ceramics Works, aka Shrapnel ‘R Us. Here’s the line I liked, from the BBC: “US military spokesman Capt Jeffrey Pool said the surviving recruits later got back in line to continue the screening process.” Some screening. Some process.

Bush today pretended to listen to a group of former secretaries of state and defense. Why, no one can accuse him of living in a bubble now that he has met with Robert McNamara! Afterwards he kept calling them solid, as in “I appreciate your interest. I appreciate you being such a solid citizen of our country.” On closer inspection, however, it turned out that Melvin Laird is actually a liquid, Alexander Haig is a gas, and Colin Powell is hollow. Jokes about the word solid, ladies and germs! I need a nap!

(Update: actually, he didn’t even spend more than 5 to 10 minutes pretending to listen to them, according to the NYT.)

Caption contest:

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