They will dwell in the shadows, with a security deposit and first and last month’s rent, and no pets

Dick Cheney, at (where else) the Heritage Foundation: “Either we are serious about fighting this war or we are not.” I’ll turn this car around, you kids! He accuses some, unnamed, politicians of “yielding to the temptation to downplay the ongoing threat to our country”. Yielding to temptation; makes it sound like getting a blowjob from an intern.

Cheney doesn’t much like terrorists, but then perhaps he’s projecting just a little: “They dwell in the shadows [undisclosed location], wear no uniform [I had other priorities], and have no regard for the laws of warfare [cough], and feel unconstrained by any standard of morality [cough cough].”

Evidently, everything Cheney learned about good government, he learned from... Gerald Ford:

Serving immediately after a period of turmoil, all of us in the Ford administration worked hard to restore people’s confidence in the government.

As opposed to restoring government to a condition where the people could repose confidence in it.

We were adamant about following the law and protecting civil liberties of all Americans, and we did so. Three decades later, I work for a President who shares those same values.

Ford nostalgia fever: Catch it!!

Also, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, and just for a change of pace, 8/11. Domestic surveillance is necessary to prevent another 9/11, and in fact has actually prevented, oh, let’s say, eight 9/11s that you’ve never even heard about, because we’re just that good.

Wave bye bye to your civil liberties. Bye bye!