Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Protecting human dignity and upholding the sanctity of life


The big story in Japan is toilets bursting into flames. You could see how this would be a concern. These are expensive toilets with a bidet function and heated seats and a remote control (?!), and sub-standard electrical parts made in China. And there’s an English-language website. Check out the videos and the FAQ section, which includes such existential FAQs as “Does anything touch me?” and “How do I know when I am clean?”

(Only $912.12 from Amazon.com)

While Bush was in Virginia saying let’s not get all crazy and enact gun control just because one guy legally bought some guns and killed 32 people, one of his Secret Service agents shot two other agents right outside the White House in what the White House is calling an “ironic accidental discharge of a firearm.”

Harriet Miers is returning to the private sector, rejoining her old law firm of Locke Liddell & Sapp. Which is a great name for a law firm.

Bush says that the Supreme Court decision allowing a ban on “partial-birth abortions” even where necessary to prevent serious damage to the health of the pregnant woman is “an affirmation of the progress we have made over the past six years in protecting human dignity and upholding the sanctity of life.” Because if there is one thing the Bush administration will be known for, it is protecting human dignity and uphol... excuse me, I just threw up. He added, “We will continue to work for the day when every child is welcomed in life and protected in law.” Forcing women to give birth to unwanted children will ensure that they are welcomed in life how exactly?

Really, how exactly can Bush ensure that every child is welcomed? Does that phrase mean anything at all?

I just thought of an atrocious joke involving the words “welcome mat.” I will take it with me to my grave. Consider that my personal contribution to making progress in protecting human dignity.

The Japanese contribution to protecting human dignity may or may not involve $1,000 toilets.

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