Wednesday, January 31, 2001

South Dakota has had to scrap a law against fondling children's bottoms.

There's something creepy about the way George the Younger talks about "faith-based" as opposed to religious organizations. Is that supposed to fool someone? Anyway, the theory behind his policy (about which very little was said during the election, you'll notice) is that if you give someone a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you give it to a "faith-based organization," he'll have to sit through a talk about how Jesus loves him if he wants to eat fish. And then it'll taste suspiciously like cat food.

In 1985 Helena Greenwood, a British biochemist who moved
to LA to work on DNA identification, was murdered. Last week, her murderer was finally convicted, by DNA evidence.

Sunday, January 28, 2001

For an account of the Florida over-votes, click here.
http://orlandosentinel.com/news/orl-asecvotes012801.story

Just a few more ways to waste your time:

Movie reviews by blind people.

Groin holsters.

www.web.aec.at/nextsex/spermrace Yes, a sperm race.
In Austria (you can click on English language)

Air fresheners in the shape of Jesus on the cross. Now in crucifix-citrus scent.
I didn't make that up, either.

The Museum of Menstruation. Watch where you step.

Saturday, January 27, 2001

A website features links to losers on the Net. Categories include hobbyists, trekkies, and rednecks. Of course if you're looking at this particular site on a Friday night with a cat in your lap, you might just find that the site consists solely of a mirror. Oh the irony.

A piece in the Saturday Washington Post analyzes the Florida ballots in some detail. And yes, Gore won.

We know that all US presidents have to have an embarrassing brother. Clinton just pardoned his; Neil Bush as far as I know has been locked in a cellar for some years. It seems that Raisa Gorbachev had one as well, a drunk. First they used the KGB to keep him out of the public eye and scare off all his friends, then they committed him, and never bothered visiting him. And there he stays.

The economic conference at Davos, Switzerland was met
by the usual protests, which were met by the usual water cannon.
But not by the method the Swiss police had intended--spraying protesters with manure. Swiss farmers don't like globalization either, and wouldn't sell them any.

Thursday, January 25, 2001

A slap on the ass may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl's best friend


"President" Bush's first acts in office this week are 1) to reimpose the gag rule on international family planning providers, which he inaccurately describes as ensuring that taxpayers who are opposed to them don't have to pay for abortions, and 2) proposing vouchers so that other taxpayers have to pay for the private schools of the taxpayers that don't want to pay for abortions.

I don't believe it made the American papers, but an Israeli settler who beat an 11-year old Palestinian boy to death was sentenced to 6 mos' community service. And a fine. That'll teach him.

London Times story headlined "Signoras told to turn the other cheek": "ITALIAN feminists were in uproar yesterday after Italy’s highest appeal court ruled that it was not an offence for a man to pat or slap a female colleague on the bottom, provided it amounts to a one-off, fleeting action and carries no sexual connotation."

Thursday, January 18, 2001

Remember in the 1980s when PG & E doubled electricity rates so we could pay for the Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant? Now they want to triple them because they didn't get to build more nuke plants. There's a fault in that logic somewhere, I just know there is. But then again, "W" wanted a tax cut because the economy was good and now wants a tax cut because the economy is bad. Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

PG & E are evil fucks, so I say turn on every appliance you own, so long as they're paying more for electricity than they're allowed to charge. Then laugh maniacally. And pay your bills late; they can't charge late fees. I pay every two months and have for years.

Remember the protests over Diablo Canyon? A group from Santa Cruz went, but having a faulty sense of geography, first drove up here to Mount Diablo.

The rolling blackouts are expected to cripple the California economy, as millions spend hours trying to get their VCRs to stop flashing 12:00 at them.

Several months ago I mentioned a Texas death row prisoner who had been coerced into a confession. The real killer sent Governor Bush a letter several years ago. Which was filed and never sent on to anyone to be checked out. Well, the prisoner was just released, thanks to DNA evidence. The AP story, which ran in the NY Times, failed to mention W's role in the matter.

Oklahoma executes a gay, black, borderline-retarded woman. I believe that's a four-fer.

Palestine executes 2 of its citizens for collaborating with Israel. When did Palestine achieve actual independence, much less independence recognized as such by Israel? Did I miss something?

Indian eunuchs are launching a political party. No I don't know what its name will be.

Republicans say that John Ashcroft is very qualified to be attorney general by virtue of his long record as Missouri attorney general and governor, and US senator. In the next breath, they denounce Democrats who have already declared against him, saying they should ignore his long record as Missouri attorney general and governor, and US senator, and wait to hear what he says in the confirmation hearings. They also say denounce people who charge Ashcroft with bigotry in fighting the confirmation of Ronnie White, and charge them with religious bigotry in fighting his confirmation.

Laurent Kabila, the 450 pound dictator of Congo-Kinshasa (well, that's my guess) was executed this week. Anyone not picturing Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now should immediately rent the movie. He was succeeded by his son, although I doubt that will last terribly long. Interestingly, I can't think of any other case of a hereditary leadership being established in Sub-Saharan Africa since decolonization.

From the London Times: "KEN LIVINGSTONE met New York's feisty right-wing Mayor and the largest newt in North America yesterday. He seemed to be equally delighted by both."

Since then, Red Ken has had water thrown over him by the
head of PETA, in Washington, for having banned the sale of pigeon feed at Trafalgar Square.

Wednesday, January 03, 2001

A newly elected state legislature in New Hampshire is evidently in favor of shooting cops. This didn't come out in the election campaign. Better still, it sounds like it's because of his support for drugs. New Hampshire, live free or off a pig. He's a Republican, of course.

Last month a NY judge ruled that it is legal to curse at cops. I'd have thought it was mandatory. Giuliani isn't pleased.

Taiwan has banned the eating of dogs.

Putin hired the same guy who wrote the original pro-Stalin
lyrics for the national anthem, and then removed them, to add religious language. There's a guy who's more ideologically flexible than Clinton. And a perfect personification of the "new" Russia.

Monday, January 01, 2001

OK, *now* it's the freaking millennium. That's one thousand years, not 999. I blame last year's premature celebrations on a miscount by Katherine Harris.

I went to a millennium dinner party last night and told the host there'd be a lot less clean-up if the meals came in the form of a single pill, like they were supposed to do by now.

This is not the future we were promised.

Open the pod bay doors, Hal.