Does it make sense for Mexico, Canada and the United States to meet?

Dick Cheney tells a joke: “one of your New York senators has recently taken to calling me ‘Darth Vader.’ (Laughter.) I didn’t take that personally. (Laughter.) I’ve been asking -- asked my wife Lynne if the nickname didn’t bother her, and she said, no. She said, ‘It humanizes you.’”

At the end of their little summit, Bush, Harper and Calderon (who at one point Bush referred to as “she”), held a press conference.

PEOPLE? WHAT PEOPLE? “One of the things -- people ask, well, does it make sense for Mexico, Canada and the United States to meet? Absolutely, it makes sense. We’re neighbors.”

AWWW. “So I’m not surprised we’ve had good meetings -- plus we like each other.”


MOVING PRODUCT WITHOUT A BUNCH OF GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS: “We’re working to make sure we reduce regulations and to add -- to make sure that our small businesses and farmers and producers are able to move product in a way without a bunch of government regulations in between.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, you’ve got different regulations in different countries that make it difficult to compete globally and cause our products to be more expensive than they should be.”


REALLY, WHAT PEOPLE? THEY’RE JUST VOICES IN YOUR CHIMP-LIKE HEAD, AREN’T THEY? “People say, well, are you really committed to global -- to reducing global warming? Absolutely.”

A PROCESS THAT DO A VARIETY OF THINGS ALL AIMING: “And we put a process in place that do a variety of things, all aiming to make sure that our neighbors and our neighborhood isn’t scourged by these thugs who use guns out of the United States to hold their people hostage, hold the country hostage.”

IN OTHER WORDS FROM THE MBA PRESIDENT: “In other words, the more choices consumers have, the more options they have, the less likely it is there will be price increases, and it’s better for your consumers.”


HIS BIGGEST CONCERN: “my biggest concern is to turn our back on our friends in Colombia.”

DON’T TAX THE SO-CALLED RICH! “And all the more reason for the United States Congress to keep the tax relief I passed permanent. We got people out there campaigning, ‘well, we’re just going to tax the rich.’ You can’t raise enough money to meet their spending appetites by taxing the so-called rich.”

SO THAT’S OKAY THEN: “First of all, I -- we’re not in a recession. We’re in a slowdown.”

Then they planted a tree for Earth Day.

“Why’m ah diggin’ when we got us a Messcin right here?”

George W. Bush’s Earth Day

Bush celebrated Earth Day today; he went to “commune with nature” in a state forest in California. As always when communing with nature, he brought a crowd.


His bike has a name. It’s called Mountain Bike One.

He then went to Sacramento to see a hydrogen-fuel-cell-powered car.


And a hydrogen-fuel-cell-powered bus (exact change only, Mr President!).


He said that hydrogen is the “fuel of the future.” He said that hydrogen is “domestically produced” (in hydrogen factories, I assume).

He arrived in Sacramento on his personal helicopter.


He left Sacramento on his personal airplane.


Here’s the motorcade that took him to his environmentally friendly bike ride.


He even walked at one point, but he didn’t look very pleased about it.

Which is more awkward? Bush celebrating Earth Day, or Passover?

GeeDubya celebrated Earth Day, saying he likes the Earth because “that’s where I keep my stuff.” He added that he wants to pass the Earth on to his children; Jenna wants to make it into a bong.

He was supposed to hold his photo op in a national park, but it was raining, and he can barely tolerate nature when it’s dry (also, he has a Wicked Witch of the West-type problem), so instead he celebrated Earth Day in a Tennessee Air National Guard base, because when you think conservation and environmentalism, you think Tennessee Air National Guard. Naturally, he took energy-efficient public transportation.