The height of folly

John McCain says it would be the “height of folly” to partner with Iran to stabilize Iraq. John McCain – bad choice of partner – folly... no, I can’t think of anything to say about this.

Speaking of bad decisions, how many of the liberals now complaining about all of the talking heads talking their heads off about Iraq on their teevees being the ones who were wrong about Iraq ten years ago were berating Terry Gross last week for asking Hillary Clinton when and why she stopped being wrong about gay marriage?

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Weakness is despised

John McCain, in an op-ed in the NYT, says Putin’s “world is a brutish, cynical place, where power is worshiped, weakness is despised, and all rivalries are zero-sum.” John McCain, the king – nay, the tsar! – of self-awareness strikes again.

Showing his usual prescience, McCain thinks Putin will be overthrown by a popular uprising, if only Obama stands up to him.

I especially liked this line: “His Russia is not a great power on par with America. It is a gas station run by a corrupt, autocratic regime.” Again with the self-awareness.

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Caption contest

John McCain is in the Ukraine, which rhymes. Captions, rhyming or otherwise, please.

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Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt or Lindsey Graham’s sexual identity

John McCain and Lindsey Graham are back from Egypt and oh so eager to share what they have learned with the WaPo readers.

BECAUSE IF THERE’S ANYONE WHO HATES POLITICAL CRISES... “We traveled to Cairo this week to support a U.S. and international effort to help Egyptians end their political crisis.”

WE CALCULATE TIME IS RUNNING OUT AT THE RATE OF ONE MINUTE PER MINUTE: “We returned convinced that time is quickly running out to resolve this crisis”.

YEAH, THAT’S KIND OF THE PROBLEM: “We are longtime friends of Egypt and its armed forces.”

AND YET, YOU’RE STILL HANGING AROUND, MAVERICK-BOY: “But as we said again this week in Cairo, we find it difficult to describe the circumstances of Morsi’s removal from office as anything other than a coup. Unsuccessful leaders in a democracy should leave office by losing elections.”

AT A RATE WHICH OUR FIGURES SUGGEST IS APPROXIMATELY ONE DAY PER DAY: “We heard much that was encouraging in our meetings, and we have urged all sides to back up their good words with constructive actions. We have urged them to do so quickly, because time is running out.”

JUST LIKE McCAIN HAS SO GRACEFULLY ACCEPTED LOSING THE 2008 ELECTION: But their sage advice to the Muslim Brotherhood is to “accept that [Morsis’s] actions generated massive public discontent and that he will not be reinstated as president of Egypt...”. So they should just “accept” the thing McCain & Huckleberry just described as a coup. Which Team Maverick already has done, because the word “reinstated” suggests that Morsi is somehow not the president of Egypt, because the military says he isn’t.

“...that they must refrain from acts and incitement of violence; and that eventually they will need to move out of the streets and into the political process, because there is no good or effective alternative to advance their interests.” Yeah, because participating in a political process in which the military exercises a veto has been soooo effective in advancing their interests so far. Also, you guys claimed earlier to have supported the 2011 revolution against the last military dictatorship, so what’s changed?

They call for “releasing political prisoners, including Morsi supporters,” which is not a call to release ALL political prisoners or to release Morsi himself.

DIDN’T YOU SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT IRAQ? I MEAN, THE EXACT SAME THING? “We still believe Egypt can serve as a model of inclusive democracy that can inspire the region and the world, and, in this great endeavor, the United States must continue to offer its support.”

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The military can’t keep running the country

John McCain and Lindsey Graham are in Cairo to “defuse the crisis,” because if there are two people who are all about defusing crises, it’s John McCain and Lindsay Graham (it was evidently the Obama administration’s idea to send these guys, which says all you need to know about how seriously the Obama administration is taking the coup in Egypt).

Graham says the Egyptian army “move more aggressively” to hold elections. Really really aggressive elections.

“The military can’t keep running the country,” Graham says, demonstrating his firm grasp of the last 60 years of Egyptian history.

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Effectively serving

John McCain on Face the Nation suggested that Eric Holder should ask himself if he is “really able to effectively” do his job, because John McCain is not big on either irony or self-awareness.

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That can’t be Halal

There’s a video on the web of a Syrian rebel commander cutting the heart out of a government soldier and taking a big juicy bite out of it.

This will only make John McCain love the rebels all the more.

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Caption contest

Auditioning replacements for Lieberman in the “Three Amigos.”

“I’m having another ‘Nam flashback, right? RIGHT?”

“I eat the cookie and throw away the filling because I’m a FUCKING MAVERICK!”

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Holy Joe is being sent to live on a farm upstate

John McCain made a statement on the floor of the Senate today about the retirement of Joe Lieberman. This was the first sentence: “Mr. President, one of the most overused quotes about Washington is Harry Truman’s observation that if you want a friend here, get a dog.” He then proceeded to talk about “a departing colleague whose friendship has been and will always be one of the great treasures of my life.” Who’s a good boy, Joe, who’s a good boy?

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The Republican Convention: What I overheard today while mostly ignoring it

McConnell makes a funny: “Obama hasn’t been working to earn re-election, he’s been working to earn a spot on the PGA tour.” He had to pause a good long time waiting for a few fake chuckles from an audience willing him to just get on with it.

HOW ABOUT IF WE CALL IT A MOTHERFUCKING RECOVERY?: “To call this a recovery is an insult to recoveries.”

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Rand Paul: without the success of business, we wouldn’t have any roads or bridges.

RAND PAUL IS NOT ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS WITH MR. EXXON-MOBIL: when you punish Mr. Exxon-Mobil, you punish the secretary who has Exxon-Mobil shares.

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John McCain says he accepts the decision of the American people in 2008. Isn’t that gracious of him?

When a Republican like McCain talks about giving a voice to the voiceless, he can only, and I mean ONLY, be talking about fetuses.

He’s complaining that we didn’t go to war with Iran, and that we’re not going to war with Syria, because of course he is.

HE WAS FOR SAVAGE, UNFAIR FIGHTS BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST THEM: Syria has moved from peaceful protests to a savage, unfair fight.

He trusts Mitt Romney to know that good can triumph over evil.

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A fair fight

Maverick John McCain & Holy Joe Lieberman issue a statement from a refugee camp for Syrians in Turkey, saying the usual stuff. Including that the international community needs to supply the Syrian rebels with arms because “The slaughter in Syria has now claimed more than 10,000 lives. And it is not a fair fight.”

No one who uses the term “fair fight” about a war deserves to be taken seriously.

John McCain has a sad

Because of the announcement of “Ending the War in Iraq,” as the White House website put it. McCain: “Today marks a harmful and sad setback for the United States in the world.”

Caption contest

John McCain tweeted this picture of himself and John Kerry at the Coca Cola plant in Cairo (the 3rd dude is the CEO of General Electric).


So that’s a McCain and Kerry at Coke in Cairo caption contest. Extra points if you continue the “comical K sound” theme.

Bomb bomb bomb, bomb Libya

McCain of Arabia spent several hours in Libya and was therefore able to declare, “I have met these brave fighters and they are not Al Qaida.” So that settles that.

None of these people are Al Qaida

However, if the US doesn’t step up the military intervention, “I do worry that if there is a stalemate here, that it could open the door to radical Islamic fundamentalism.” So they’re not Al Qaida but if they become Al Qaida it’ll be Obama’s fault for not dropping enough bombs. Okay then.

Fair fight

McCain & Holy Joe Lieberman have introduced a resolution for an immediate no-fly zone in Libya.

In a speech in the Senate yesterday, McCain said of the need for a no-fly zone, “It is Libyans themselves who want to do the fighting against Qaddafi, but they want it to be a fair fight. So should we.” Because if there’s one thing John McCain hates, it’s an unfair fight.

He added that we must immediately recognize the opposition as the sole legitimate governing authority: “Some continue to say that we do not know who the opposition is and thus we cannot assist them. This is ridiculous.” Yes, it is ridiculous to elevate people we do not know.

Guess who wants to start a war with Libya? No, go on, guess.

John McCain & Joe Lieberman, who you will be scared to hear are in the middle of a diplomatic tour of the Middle East, issued a statement about Libya yesterday, calling for “a no-fly zone to stop the Qaddafi regime’s use of airpower to attack Libyan civilians.” Obviously such a thing could only be enforced by a military force ready and willing to shoot down Libyan planes.

Caption contest

The memorial in Tuscon yesterday. Obama gazing beatifically into a new enlightened era of civility, or something, and John McCain (2nd row, 2nd from the left) glaring balefully at Obama. But what is he (either one, or both) thinking?

So what’s on the minds of the 2008 Republican ticket today?

The Passion of the Snooki, or something.

A crucial time

John McCain posted this picture with the caption “@JoeLieberman @Grahamblog & I had good meetings with Iraqi leaders in Baghdad today at a crucial time.”


Judging by McCain’s appearance, I think by “crucial time” he meant that he needed to go to the bathroom.

Can we do better than John McCain? CAPTION CONTEST!

I don’t know how much tea he’s getting with his Mexican food...

but I’m pretty sure he’s getting a lot of pee.