Saturday, September 28, 1996

I'm not as think as you drunk I am

Bayer (as in aspirin), a corporate descendant of IG Farben, the manufacturers of Zyklon B, have been advertising an insect killer in Guatemala with the slogan Sudden Death is a German Specialty. Truth in advertising at last!

Wednesday, September 18, 1996

It makes me feel old to hear of Agnew's death on the BBC--which mispronounced his first name.

Almost unreported is the only intelligent thing Dole has said this year, an acerbic comment on the economics of firing $1 million missiles at $60,000 Iraqi radars.

From Comedy Central's The Daily Show: the new Miss America says that God wanted her to win in order to be a role model for children. And today, all over the country, children are greasing their teeth, taping their breasts and spouting delusional crap.

Wednesday, September 11, 1996

NY Times headline: "North Carolina Groggy After Hurricane". All together now: HOW CAN YOU TELL?

Note also a propos the previous message, that at least 20 members of the Senate are divorced. Well, as "Dick" Morris used to say, marriage should be defined as a union between...oh, yeah, keep sucking my toes, oh baby oh baby, and then Al Gore oh yes yes yes aaaaaah, and could you just charge that to the campaign?

I could swear I heard Dole give a speech yesterday calling his opponents "scareheads".

Friday, September 06, 1996

The mystery explained

There was a letter to the NY Times a couple of months ago that suggested that Saddam Hussein's behaviour could be explained by speculation, Hussein's that is, in international oil spot markets. All the man has to do is move a few troops or make a speech and he can send the price of oil wildly up or down. The ultimate in insider trading. It may not be true, but as a theory, it does fit all known facts.....

China blocks Internet access to human rights groups, Taiwanese & Hong Kong democratic groups, and to Western news sources, such as the NY & LA Times, CNN, Wall Street Journal. USA Today is unaffected. I did say news sites.

Tuesday, September 03, 1996

If you want to send a message, use Western Union

27 cruise missiles are launched at Iraq to send it a message. As usual, the message says "boom".

Alternatively, we are sending a message that Americans are still geography-impaired. The Kurds are in the North, the bombing is in the South. The Kurds are still in the North, the extension of the air exclusion zone is in the South. Our bombs are smart, our leaders are fucking idiots.

A cartoon in the just-arrived SC Comic News quotes Dole telling his little joke about a busload of supply-siders going over a cliff and the bad news is that there were 3 empty seats. The next panel shows a bus going off a cliff with Dole running behind it shouting Wait for Me!