It is not hard for us to do the same things they did

Iraqi PM Maliki demands that Syria hand over people he blames for the recent spate of bombings (it couldn’t be Iraqis, they’re such a peaceful people), adding “Neighboring countries should behave like good neighbors because it is not hard for us to do the same things they did.” Er, did he just threaten to sponsor terrorist attacks on Syria if his demands are not met?

Gordon Brown says he was “repulsed” by the celebratory reception of convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdul Baset Ali al-Megrahi in Libya, adding, “But then I’m a Scot; I’m repulsed by the sight of anyone enjoying themselves.”

Is Dominick Dunne the Aldous Huxley of our time?

That’s one of those great hypotheticals that we didn’t know

The Bush message to Iowa flood victims: “I know there’s a lot of people hurting right now and I hope they’re able to find some strength in knowing that there is love from a higher being.” As for you atheists, just keep paddling I guess.

I now have the full transcript of Bush’s interview by the Observer, the subject of my previous post.

GEORGE INVENTS A NEW VERB TENSE: “And therefore people that -- at least governments that felt like they didn’t want to participate in the liberation of Iraq have now wanted to participate in the reconstruction of Iraq.”

WHAT MALIKI HAS MOVED: “Maliki has moved things -- Stockholm and comports himself like a leader would, and he speaks hopefully about the future.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, the agenda is varied and it’s profound.”


Asked who is really in charge of Russia now: “Putin introduced me to Medvedev. And he -- in not only his body language, but in his words to me that Medvedev is going to be in charge of foreign policy.” So that settles that.

Asked about human rights in Russia, he recounted how he once spoke to Putin on behalf of the Catholic church, how Putin owns his own orthodox church, how Bush once met some Russian Jews, and concluded “And so he is sensitive to religious liberty”. For Bush, there is really only one human right that matters.

IN OTHER WORDS: “And so my only point there is that -- and this is the point I make to our partners, is that the Iranians had adopted a different attitude during my presidency -- in other words, in the relatively near past -- and that’s not to say they can’t do it again.”

WHAT HE TELLS HIS PARTNERS: “You know, I tell my partners, we’re asking you to sanction, I know you’re sitting there saying to yourself, well, it’s easy for him to say because they’ve already sanctioned.” Oh, George, we know that nothing is easy for you to say.

WHAT THE QUESTION FACING COUNTRIES IS: “And the question facing countries is, does money trump effective diplomacy for the sake of peace and security?”

THE POST-WHAT NOW? “And the lesson learned in this post-conflict period in both Iraq and Afghanistan is you got to have security.”

BUSH MAKES A WIDDLE JOKE:

Q: Weapons of mass destruction in Iraq obviously is --

SHRUB: Still looking for them.

Q: Still looking for them, exactly. (Laughter.)

SHRUB: That was a huge disappointment.

They did not ask him what was disappointing about it, but did ask if he would have invaded Iraq is he’d known there were no WMDs: “Well, you know, that’s one of those great hypotheticals that we didn’t know.”


KIND OF LIE IN AN EMPTY GRAVE: “Many, many families look at me trying to determine whether or not, one, I believed that it was necessary; and two, whether or not I’m going to let their son or daughter kind of lie in an empty grave when it comes to the sacrifice they made. They want to know whether or not the President -- if he believes it was necessary, whether or not he’s going to see this thing through, regardless of what they’re screaming on the TV sets.”

Asked about his legacy, he said, “There’s no such thing as objective short-term history.” He’s talked before about how forty years from now we’ll know how wonderful he really was, but I don’t think he’s claimed before that it’s literally impossible to form a correct judgment before then and that anything anyone says about him now can and should be completely disregarded.

ACTUALLY THEY’RE MEXICANS WHO DICK CHENEY SENDS INTO THE OVAL OFFICE EVERY MORNING AND TELLS BUSH ARE IRAQIS: “But my view is, is that when you talk to Iraqis, they’re thrilled with the idea of living in a free society. Do they like the fact that violence is still there? No. But every society reaches a level of violence that’s tolerable. And has that reached Iraq? I don’t know yet.” Tolerable? Presumably not to the recipients of that violence. That’s just a bizarre little sociological statement. And is he really saying that the level of violence in Iraq (or New York City or Sao Paulo, for that matter) is only as high as it is because the Iraqis are okay with it?

Oh wait, he goes on: “the thing that people ought to focus on is the courage of the Iraqis. They put up with a lot of violence: Muslims killing Muslims. But first of all, there have been some accidents, but nobody can claim that the United States or Great Britain are intentionally killing innocent people. We’re not. As a matter of fact, warfare has changed a lot.” After all these years, dude still thinks of war as antiseptic, even, dare I say it, humane.

WHAT IT’S HARD FOR PEOPLE SITTING AFAR TO SAY: “Freedom trumps tyranny every time. And it’s hard for people to see that. It’s hard for people sitting afar to say, isn’t that beautiful, somebody lives in a free society?”

One revelation: he has never watched “The West Wing.” “I don’t watch network TV. I read.”

There have been other defining moments up to now, but this is a defining moment, as well

At the Air Force Museum in Ohio yesterday, Bush gave a speech from which only one line is worth passing on: “You know, when I mentioned justice of the cause, you see that when Americans in full battle gear hand out books to children, hand out books to total strangers.”

The Marine Corps is dropping all charges against Lance Cpl. Stephen Tatum for his role in the Haditha Massacre (see previous posts), evidently in exchange for his testimony against Staff Sgt. Frank Wuterich. According to a press release, “This was done in order to continue to pursue the truth-seeking process into the Haditha incident.” A justice-seeking process might also have been nice.

Today Bush met with Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who, when asked by an Aussie reporter how he would describe him, he called “Fine lad, fine lad.”


When asked about foreign policy differences with Rudd (Iraq, China, greenhouse gasses, etc), Bush said “I guess it depends if you’re a half-glass empty guy or a half-glass full guy,” adding that he really could see no differences, but maybe that’s because he’d just drunk half a glass of tequila. He didn’t even see policy differences over Rudd’s plan to pull troops out of Iraq. “Obviously the Prime Minister kept a campaign commitment, which I appreciate. I always like to be in the presence of somebody who does what he says he’s going to do.” And yet it never rubs off.

But he didn’t ascribe Rudd’s decision to the will of the Australian people as expressed by the polls, no, that would violate Dick Cheney’s “So?” Doctrine. “I would view the Australia decision as ‘return on success’”. He also demonstrated his understanding of Aussie policy with his usual clarity: “But the commitment of Afghanistan is not to leave Iraq alone; it’s to change mission.”

SOME PEOPLE CAN TELL AN INTERESTING STORY, SOME PEOPLE CAN’T: “And so he told me about an interesting story. He met with the Prime Minister, Maliki. Prime Minister Maliki says to Kevin Rudd -- or Kevin Rudd says to Prime Minister Maliki, what can we do to help you. It wasn’t, what can we do to abandon you. He said, how can we help you?”

MORE PRAISE FOR RUDD: “He’s an expert on China -- it’s clear when you talk to him, he is an expert on China.”


Many of the reporters’ questions focused on Maliki’s... in honor of Mr. Rudd, I’m hereby officially naming it Maliki’s Basra Balls-Up.

A LOT OF DEFINING GOING ON: “I would say this is a defining moment in the history of a free Iraq. There have been other defining moments up to now, but this is a defining moment, as well.”

IT TALKS! “The decision to move troops -- Iraqi troops into Basra talks about Prime Minister Maliki’s leadership.”

Q&A: “And one of the early questions I had to the Prime Minister was would he be willing to confront criminal elements, whether they be Shia or Sunni? Would he, in representing people who want to live in peace, be willing to use force necessary to bring to justice those who take advantage of a vacuum, or those who murder the innocent? And his answer was, yes, sir, I will. And I said, well, you’ll have our support if that’s the case, if you believe in evenhanded justice.”


IT’S NOT JUST A DEFINING MOMENT: “it is an interesting moment for the people of Iraq”.

WHAT’S SO INTERESTING ABOUT IT? “And so -- the other that’s interesting about this, by the way -- this happens to be one of the provinces where the Iraqs are in the lead -- Iraqis are in the lead, and that’s what they are in this instance.”

IT’S NOT JUST A DEFINING MOMENT AND AN INTERESTING MOMENT: “And this is a good test for them.” Given that Maliki just had to extend his surrender deadline by 10 days, I guess they’re taking an incomplete.


TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE ABILITY TO BE CRIMINALS: “And of course, routing out these folks who’ve burrowed in society, who take advantage of the ability to be criminals, or the ability to intimidate citizens, is going to take a while. ... And one of those things that’s been well known is that Basra has been a place where criminality has thrived. It’s a port, a lot of goods and services go through there.”

WHAT HE SUSPECTS MALIKI WOULD SAY: “And I haven’t spoke to the Prime Minister since he’s made his decision, but I suspect that he would say, look, the citizens down there just got sick and tired of this kind of behavior. ... And so I’m not exactly sure what triggered the Prime Minister’s response. I don’t know if it was one phone call. I don’t know what -- whether or not the local mayor called up and said, help -- we’re sick and tired of dealing with these folks. ... But this was his decision. It was his military planning. It was his causing the troops to go from point A to point B.”

SAD MONKEY: “And, yes, there’s going to be violence. And that’s sad.”

Yesterday, Nicolas Sarkozy and Gordon Brown showed what two national leaders really need in order to bond: a football.

Bush press conference: He gains a lot from it by saying, look at me, I’m now recognized by the President of the United States

In a meeting with the Czech prime minister yesterday, Bush tried to reassure Russia about his Star Wars program: “If some of these countries develop a weapon that’s capable of developing a nuclear warhead, free nations, nations such as Russia, do not want to be in a position of political blackmail.” Free nations such as Russia? Define “free.”

Maliki (remember him?) said in a broadcast speech, “National reconciliation efforts have succeeded in Iraq and the Iraqis have once again become loving brothers.” See, and you didn’t think the Iraqis would once again becoming loving brothers.

Bush held a press conference this morning.

He accused opponents of the war in Iraq of being, gasp, consistent: “It seems that no matter what happens in Iraq opponents to the war have one answer: Retreat. ... I guess you could say that when it comes for pushing for withdrawal, their strategy is to stay the course.”

He said he’s “concerned about working Americans, concerned about people who want to put money on the table”. Of course he’s even more concerned about people who want to put money in their gold bathtubs and dive into it naked.



THE R WORD: “I don’t think we’re headed to a recession, but no question we’re in a slowdown.” Er, isn’t a recession a slowdown by, you know, definition? When he kept denying that Iraq was in a civil war, I suggested, as a compromise, “crapfest.” I offer it again now.

IN OTHER WORDS: “Credit will happen in the first week of May. In other words, some people will choose to have their bank accounts credited.”

AND ALL THAT STUFF. “I know there’s a lot of -- here in Washington, people are trying to -- stimulus package two and all that stuff. Why don’t we let stimulus package one, which seemed like a good idea at the time, have a chance to kick in?”



He explained why the Kurds should embrace being invaded by Turkey: “One, the Turks, the Americans, and the Iraqis, including the Iraqi Kurds, share a common enemy in the PKK. And secondly, it’s in nobody’s interests that there be safe haven for people who are -- have the willingness to kill innocent people.”



IN OTHER WORDS: “I strongly agree with the sentiments of Secretary Gates, who said that the incursion must be limited, and must be temporary in nature. In other words, it shouldn’t be long-lasting.”

So how long is long?

Q: But how quickly, sir, do they need to move out?

Bush: You know, as quickly as possible.

Q: Days or weeks?

Bush: Well, as possible.

A reporter asked about Clinton and Obama’s lack of familiarity with Putin’s successor slash puppet, but rather annoyingly didn’t ask Russert’s question, “What is his name?” Bush admitted, “I don’t know much about Medvedev either.” You might want to get on that.



However, he did say that “it is in the interest of the country to have a relationship” with him. Then he dropped the bombshell that will send Kim Jong-il to bed weeping into his pillow tonight: “I’m not going to have a personal relationship with Kim Jong-il, and our relationships are such that that’s impossible.”

(Incidentally, I’m opposed to orchestras performing in North Korea until all the kidnapped actors and directors are accounted for.)

He returned to the theme of Obama’s naivete later: “What’s lost by embracing a tyrant who puts his people in prison because of their political beliefs? What’s lost is it will send the wrong message. It will send a discouraging message to those who wonder whether America will continue to work for the freedom of prisoners. It will give great status to those who have suppressed human rights and human dignity.” Great status? Well, everyone in a room with Bush does look smarter and more dignified by comparison...



“I’m not suggesting there’s never a time to talk, but I’m suggesting now is not the time -- not to talk with Raul Castro. He’s nothing more than an extension of what his brother did, which was to ruin an island”. What, he turned it into an isthmus?

Comedy tip of the day: the word isthmus is always funny.

Bush: And the idea of embracing a leader who’s done this without any attempt on his part to release prisoners and free their society would be counterproductive and send the wrong signal.”

AGAIN, MAY I SUGGEST “CRAPFEST”:

Q: No one is saying embrace him, they’re just saying talk --

Bush: Well, talking to him is embracing. Excuse me. Let me use another word -- you’re right, ‘embrace’ is like big hug, right? You’re looking -- I do embrace people. Mike, one of these days, I’m just thinking about -- (laughter.) Right, okay, good, thank you for reminding me to use a different word. Sitting down at the table, having your picture taken with a tyrant such as Raul Castro, for example, lends the status of the office and the status of our country to him. He gains a lot from it by saying, look at me, I’m now recognized by the President of the United States.

That does sound like just exactly the sort of thing Raul would say.

Bush concluded: “And in my judgment, it would be a mistake -- on the two countries you talked about.” Cuba and Iran, George, Cuba and Iran. It helps to remember what countries you’re talking about.

However, he won’t let a little thing like lack of freedom prevent him enjoying the Olympics. “And maybe I’m in a little different position. Others don’t have a chance to visit with Hu Jintao, but I do.” Then he went on for a bit about how “every time I meet with him I talk about religious freedom” and how “if you’re allowed to worship freely, it will benefit the society” and “the Chinese government should not fear the idea of people praying to a god as they see fit” etc.. He didn’t mention any other sort of freedom, just religious freedom.

HAVE ALLEGED. On retroactive telecom immunity: “The government said to those who have alleged to have helped us that it is in our national interests and it’s legal”. Even if (when) this is passed, the claim that it was legal will still have been a lie, you know.



COINCIDENTALLY, WHAT’S IN HIS OWN HEAD: GRAVY. “And now, all of a sudden, plaintiffs attorneys, class-action plaintiffs attorneys, you know -- I don’t want to try to get inside their head; I suspect they see, you know, a financial gravy train -- are trying to sue these companies.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “I firmly believe that free trade is essential to the formation of high-paying, quality jobs. In other words, people who work for industries that export goods to overseas are likely to be paid more than their -- other workers.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “I also know it’s in our interest to insist that when people sell products into our countries [sic], that we get treated fairly. In other words, if we treat a country one way, people in a country one way, we expect to be treated the same way -- like Colombia.”

My favorite part of the presser came when he tried to spin the torpedoing of local elections in Iraq as a triumph of democracy: “a member of the presidency council utilized his constitutional right to veto one of the three pieces of legislation recently passed. I understand the use of the veto, intend to continue to use it, but I thought it was a healthy sign that people are thinking through the legislation that’s passed, and they’re worrying about making sure that laws are constitutional.”

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “We believe in a strong dollar policy, and we believe that -- and I believe that our economy has got the fundamentals in place for us to be a -- is to grow and continue growing more robustly, hopefully, than we’re growing now. And the dollar, the value of the dollar will be reflected in the ability for our economy to be -- to grow economically. And so we’re still for a strong dollar.”

Asked about the predictions of $4 per gallon gasoline by summer, Bush said, “That’s interesting. I hadn’t heard that.” Again, by the way, a reporter missed a great gotcha opportunity by failing to preface his question by asking Bush what the price of gas is now.

DOESN’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD TRANSITORY: “And this -- I view it as a transitory period to new technologies that will change the way we live”.

AND I’M SURE THEY APPRECIATE IT. “This administration has done more for renewables than any President.”

LOOKING AT WHAT’S HAPPENED IN CORN OUT THERE. “Again, I repeat, if you look at what’s happened in corn out there, you’re beginning to see the food issue and the energy issue collide.”

We got professionals who are trained in this kind of work

Congressional hearings on Iraqi corruption Thursday. See the WaPo and David Corn articles. The anti-corruption official fired by Maliki for actually trying to stop corruption testified about the level of corruption and the violence against his agency. Asshole points to Rep. John Mica, who said it’s no worse than Watergate, and a lot of witnesses against Bill Clinton also happened to “die suddenly,” so it’s not a big deal. Also testifying, State Dept official Larry Butler, who said that Iraqi corruption is a classified matter, and refused to answer any questions in public.

Bush spoke briefly to the press this morning. First, he talked about the economy and how “I also am going to make it very clear to people in Congress that we’re not going to raise their taxes on the working people.” The word “their” puzzled me for a second. At first, I thought he was saying that he wasn’t going to raise taxes on “people in Congress,” but I think what he actually means is that every bit of taxation should be blamed on Congress, that he has nothing whatsoever to do with it.


Then he addressed the newly discovered Gonzales torture opinion. He suggested that anyone objecting to torture is opposed even to arresting terrorists: “There’s been a lot of talk in the newspapers and on TV about a program that I put in motion to detain and question terrorists and extremists.” “I have put this program in place for a reason...” he said.


Oh, you’re wondering what that reason is? “...and that is to better protect the American people.” It’s just as reasonable as that. “And when we find somebody who may have information regarding an -- a potential attack on America, you bet we’re going to detain them, and you bet we’re going to question them”. For years if not decades to come. You bet.

However, “this government does not torture people. You know, we stick to U.S. law and our international obligations.” And what makes them so sticky? The blood of tortured detainees on their hands.


IN OTHER WORDS: “there are highly trained professionals questioning these extremists and terrorists. In other words, we got professionals who are trained in this kind of work”. Actually, one of the reasons for the issuing of the secret legal opinion was that the CIA in fact had no trained interrogators slash torturers. Although if there actually are “highly trained” interrogators slash torturers, as he says, I’d be interested to here more about the training program. How long does it last? Is there a certificate? Are they certified separately in various techniques, i.e., is there a waterboarding license? Etc.

He insisted that “the techniques that we use have been fully disclosed to appropriate members of the United States Congress.” Appropriate? I want a list. A list of the members of Congress who know about every “technique” being used on prisoners.

He assured us that prisoners will continue to be tortured in the future: “The American people expect their government to take action to protect them from further attack. And that’s exactly what this government is doing, and that’s exactly what we’ll continue to do.”

The harsh steps necessary to spread liberty

Maliki says he is “multi-nationalistic,” that he has stopped “the explosion of a sectarian war,” and that Iran and Syria are no longer interfering in Iraqi affairs. So it must be true.

Bush spoke to the UN General Assembly today. He told them all about inherent human dignity (he was speaking as an outside observer).


He spoke about the universality of human rights... to a group of people who had to listen to him speaking.


He talked about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and somehow slipped into that declaration the right of American multi-national corporations to operate without let or hindrance: “When innocent people are trapped in a life of murder and fear, the Declaration is not being upheld. When millions of children starve to death or perish from a mosquito bite, we’re not doing our duty in the world. When whole societies are cut off from the prosperity of the global economy, we’re all worse off.”


He said that “the mission of the United Nations requires liberating people from tyranny and violence.” Er, no it isn’t.

He said “Americans are outraged by the situation in Burma, where a military junta has imposed a 19-year reign of fear.” Which either means that Americans have been outraged for the last 19 years, or they’re only just hearing about this now.


He called for “reform” of the UN, especially of the Human Rights Council. By reform, he meant stop criticizing Israel.

Later in the day, he held a “roundtable on democracy” because “I can think of no better way to work toward freedom than to strategize with leaders from around the world who are willing to take the harsh steps necessary to spread liberty.” No one can make liberty sound terrifying quite the way George Bush can.

It means nothing for me

So there’s a secret Pentagon program in Iraq to drop “bait” such as detonation cords, plastic explosives and ammo here and there, and shoot dead anyone who picks it up, because they are clearly up to no good. Larry Craig’s still a senator, right? $100 to the first reporter who calls him up to ask whether he thinks this sort of lethal entrapment is a legitimate tool.

Yes, I said tool.

Maliki says criticism of him by members of Congress is unimportant, because they are not important: “What is important is that it did not come from the American administration or President Bush. That it comes from other areas ... for other reasons, is not a concern of mine. ... It means nothing for me.” Democratic congresscritters: you have just been dismissed as irrelevant... by Nouri al-Maliki. Ouch.

Bush press conference: Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas

This post is brought to you by Percocet and in loving memory of my abscessed right lower wisdom tooth, Pointy. For the first time in my life, I have an even number of teeth (I am a mutant).

Speaking of abscesses, this morning Bush held a press conference.

He started off by claiming that Democrats only support expanding the S-CHIP program of health insurance for children for political gain. How dare they support health insurance for children just because it’s popular with the American public! He said they “have decided to pass a bill they know that will be vetoed” (note the passive voice). So because they know that Bush is a stubborn bastard, they must intend to fail in order to have a campaign issue. “Health coverage for these children should not be held hostage while political ads are being made and new polls are being taken.” Was there ever such a cynical charge of cynicism?

One reporter got him on the record specifically opposing an increase in cigarette taxes to fund the program.



IN OTHER WORDS, IS WHAT HE SAID: “And I also said that progress will yield fewer troops. In other words, return on success, is what I said.”

He immediately followed that up with a U-Turn IN OTHER WORDS, in which two IN OTHER WORDSES took him right back to the original words: “There are two types of reconciliation, David. One is that reconciliation, that very visible reconciliation that happens through the passage of law. In other words, it’s reconciliation that shows the Iraqi people that people from different backgrounds can get along and, at the same time, that government can function. Clearly there needs to be work there. In other words, there needs to be the passage of law.”


A game of IN OTHER WORDS Bumper Cars (about North Korea): “In other words, whether it be the exportation of information and/or materials is an important part -- it doesn’t matter to us whether they do -- in terms of the six-party talks, because they’re both equally important, I guess is the best way to say it. In other words, we want -- it does matter -- let me rephrase that -- it matters whether they are, but the concept of proliferation is equally important as getting rid of programs and weapons.”

A PLAIN VANILLA IN OTHER WORDS: “The folks like Blackwater who provide security for the State Department are under rules of engagement -- in other words, they have certain rules.”


He said about the Blackwater incident, “Obviously, to the extent that innocent life was lost, you know, I’m saddened.” But only to that extent. So there will be a joint US-Iraqi commission to investigate the extent to which Bush is saddened: “I want to find out the facts about exactly what took place there in the theater and that’s exactly what we’re about to find out.”


But that’s not the only thing ensaddening him. Asked about the Jena incident, he replied, “The events in Louisiana are -- have saddened me. I understand the emotions.” Well, he’s heard of them, anyway.


(Before I forget, the White House issued one of those “Responding to Key Myths” papers about Iraq. Among other things, it proved that Maliki is not an agent of Iran thusly: “Maliki is an Iraqi nationalist who does not speak Persian”. Quod erat demonstrandum.)

Maliki is not, however, a Nelson Mandela: “I thought an interesting comment was made when somebody said to me, I heard somebody say, where’s Mandela? Well, Mandela is dead, because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.” Even Winnie?

This Mandela line, which passed from Ryan Crocker to Condi and now to Bush, provoked this comment from me last week: “So basically what they’re saying is that if any of the current crop of Iraqi politicians had been any damned good, they wouldn’t be alive.”


Bush thinks the MoveOn “General Betray Us” ad was “disgusting,” and an attack on the entire military. Which is nonsense. Also disgusting: Democrats. “And I was disappointed that not more leaders in the Democrat Party spoke out strongly against that kind of ad. And that leads me to come to this conclusion: that most Democrats are afraid of irritating a left-wing group like MoveOn.org -- or more afraid of irritating them than they are of irritating the United States military.”

So sad:

Q: Mr. President, former Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld recently was asked if he missed you. He said, no. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: I miss him.

(Update: see, I knew I’d miss something, with the drugs and the pain and everything: “We dealt with a recession, a terrorist attack and corporate scandals. And we did it by cutting taxes.”)

Security ∙ Unity ∙ Prosperity

In an interview with the Boston Globe, Petraeus excuses the lack of political progress in Iraq: “It takes time to resolve these issues, however, just as it took the U.S. time to resolve fundamental issues like civil rights (which is similar to de-Ba’athification)”. So who’s Maliki supposed to be in this scenario? Bobby Kennedy? George Wallace? Rosa Parks? Suggestions in comments, please.

He also deploys the supremely obnoxious phrase the Bushies have been using: the Anbar Awakening.

Bizarre and unsettling story of the day: a 31-year-old Chinese woman has been discovered to have 26 sewing needles in her body, including some which have penetrated her lungs, liver, kidney and, oh yes, brain. They were probably stuck in her by her grandparents, upset that she was a girl, when she was a new-born.

Fred Thompson has unveiled his campaign slogan:


Not exactly liberty, equality, fraternity, is it? Do they think the inclusion of “prosperity” make it seem less fascistic? And since those three words all end with a long e sound, shouldn’t he have used what we all learned this week is his legal first name, Freddie, so it’s all rhymey? Or perhaps they should just have gone with “Fred08. Law ∙ Order”. Or “Fred08. Dun ∙ Dun.”

Speaking of security, unity and prosperity, Guatemala, which has a presidential election Sunday, has been spiraling downwards for several years without the outside world (or, let’s face it, me) paying that much attention. According to the AP, just 1% of its 5,000 homicides annually lead to a conviction. The campaign, which has not been without violence itself, may be won by a general who promises to get tough on crime, using the military, and to bring back the death penalty.

Must-read: David Corn on corruption in Iraq, and what Maliki is doing to thwart investigations of that corruption.

Bush goes to Anbar (they told him he was going to the beach for Labor Day)

Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq today, to meet, we are told, with his “war council.” They’re pretending this trip is part of the process whereby Bush decides how to proceed in Iraq, as opposed to a photo-op intended to sell the war and pressure Congress. The war council includes Robert Gates, Condoleezza Not-So-Bright, Petraeus, Ryan Crocker, the little-seen War Troubadour Tsar Douglas Lute, and Boo Hadley.

He went to the al-Assad air base in Anbar province, to highlight the improved security of Anbar province, which is secure as long as you don’t leave al-Assad air base. Which he won’t.

Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said the meetings were held at the air base instead of in Baghdad “because Mr. Bush wanted to see first hand the progress in Anbar”. And, you know, the thing about Bush is that after spending his entire trip inside an air base he will actually believe that he has seen first hand the progress in Anbar.

He met Maliki and Talabani, who he gave “a customary Middle Eastern greeting of three pecks on the cheek”. Why oh why are there no pictures of this? And did he climb across the table to do it?


He then declared Talabani to be “Mr. President, Mr. President, the president of the whole Iraq.”

To attend this meeting, Maliki made his third trip to Anbar (just two more than Bush). He always has to be dragged there kicking and screaming by Gen. Petraeus, and his reluctant visits are always portrayed as a sign of reconciliation and increased security. I’m not sure if the president of the whole Iraq has been to Anbar before. It’s not clear if Maliki was planning to talk to the Sunni tribal sheiks whom Bush will meet; certainly he didn’t attend the meeting Bush will be in.


115° in Iraq, and Bush decides to dress like Johnny Cash. All you need to know about the man.



I take it back. That sign says all you need to know about the man.


As Caitlin Upton could tell us, many US Americans can’t find The Iraq on a map.

Before he caught his plane for Anbar, Maliki was asked by a reporter about the massive corruption in his regime. He responded by attacking Radhi al-Radhi, the head of the Public Integrity Commission, in charge of fighting corruption, saying he had fled the country because he is facing corruption charges (trumped up against him by Maliki). Al-Radhi, reached by AP, says he is actually just taking a training course in the US.

Wherein is revealed the worst thing than can happen to a presidency

Maliki is feeling under-appreciated. He thinks his regime hasn’t been given enough credit for all its accomplishments, “such as stopping the civil and sectarian war.” And criticism by American politicians “signals to terrorists luring them into thinking that the security situation in the country is not good.”

Some days there just isn’t enough sarcasm.

Bush has been chatting for months with a biographer, Robert Draper. His goal in Iraq is now “To get us in a position where the presidential candidates will be comfortable about sustaining a presence” so that the US can “stay longer.” See, and you were worried that he doesn’t have a goal in Iraq.

“Self-pity,” Bush says, “is the worst thing that can happen to a presidency.” Actually, pretty much on a daily basis Bush has created new and hideous examples of the worst things that can happen to a presidency.

Speaking of self-pity: “I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot.”

Bush’s memory is practically Gonzalezesque. He doesn’t remember asking his advisers to vote on whether to fire Rumsfeld in April 2006. He says that it was not his policy to abolish the Iraqi army; asked how he responded when Bremer did abolish the Iraqi army, he says, “Yeah, I can’t remember”, but that Stephen “Boo” Hadley has “got notes on all of this stuff.”

Must-read: NYT on the Bush administration and consumer safety.

They have no knowledge of what reconciliation means

Australia is to start testing applicants for citizenship on various aspects of Australian culture, history, such as who the first prime minister was (Ned Kelly? Joseph Boomerang, inventor of the boomerang?), the opening line of the national anthem (“Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong”) (or possibly: “Skippy. Skippy. Skippy the bush kangaroo. Skippy. Skippy. Skippy your friend ever true...”), and Australian values, such as “mateship and a fair go.”

(Update: more questions: How are members of Parliament chosen? Drinking contests. What is the floral emblem of Australia? Okay, I think we all know this one: “This here’s the wattle, the symbol of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Amen!”)

Speaking of mateship and a fair go, Maliki has responded angrily (although rather belatedly) to the calls of Carl Levin and Hillary Clinton for him to be replaced. “They should come to their senses,” he said, adding, “When they give their judgment they have no knowledge of what reconciliation means.” Dude, if there’s anyone who knows what reconciliation means, it’s Bill Clinton’s wife.

Key fact in NYT article about the rise in the number of Iraqis held in American detention: 85% of them are Sunni. In his press conference, Maliki also complained about detentions – of Shiites, not Sunnis, of course – during recent American operations in Shiite sections of Baghdad. “We will not allow the detaining of innocent people,” he said. He also had this constructive criticism of the American military: “When they want to detain one person, they should not kill 10 others.” Oh, now he tells us.

Bush press conference: there’s no proof of wrong

Bush held a press conference this morning. Hilarity ensued.

THAT THING YOU DO: “The American people need to know that we’re working hard to find out why the bridge did what it did so that we can assure people that the bridges over which they will be traveling will be safe.” Or you could actually make them safe.


A HUMAN POST-IT NOTE: “In my discussions with President Musharraf, I have reminded him that we share a common enemy”. On the one hand, that “reminded him” thing is pretty condescending. On the other, isn’t it nice that he shares?

WHY, I CAN MAKE A HAT OR A BROOCH OR A PTERODACTYL...: “We spend a lot of time with the leadership in Pakistan, talking about what we will do with actionable intelligence.” His own intelligence, by the way, indicates that Pakistanis like to be called “Paks.”

MR. EMPATHIC STRIKES AGAIN: “I can understand why Pat Tillman’s family, you know, has got significant emotions”. We know. “And I’m confident the Defense Department wants to find out the truth, too”. And then lie about it again.


WHAT THE IRAQIS NEED: “these folks need to trust each other more.” He says of the Iraqi government, “a lot of Americans look at it and say, there’s nothing happening there; there’s, like, no government at all, I expect they’re saying.” But actually, he says, the Iraqi parliament is passing many laws, “some of which are directly relevant to reconciliations”.

IN OTHER WORDS: “But one of the things I found interesting in my questions was there is revenue sharing -- in other words, a central government revenue sharing to provincial governments.”

“My belief is that people will make rational decision based upon facts.” He really has no self-awareness whatsoever, does he? That was in response to a question about the financial sector and the sub-prime-loan issue. Asked whether the government should help the recipients of those loans who are about to lose their houses, he said fuck no, but “obviously anybody who loses their home is somebody with whom we must show enormous empathy.”


IF ONLY BUSH WERE A MAN OF AS FEW WORDS AS MALIKI: “Prime Minister Maliki is visiting in Tehran today. His message, I’m confident will be, stabilize, don’t destabilize.” If not, little Nouri will get a talking to: “Now if the signal is that Iran is constructive, I will have to have a heart-to-heart with my friend, the Prime Minister, because I don’t believe they are constructive.”


“I don’t think he, in his heart of heart, thinks they’re constructive, either. ... So the first thing I looked for was commitment against the extremists. The second thing is does he understand with some extremist groups there is connections with Iran, and he does. And I’m confident.”

Interestingly, he’s careful this time not to repeat the lie that Iran has a stated policy of building nuclear weapons: “They have expressed their desire to be able to enrich uranium, which we believe is a step toward having a nuclear weapons program.” Still, he says Iran, you know, hates Israel and funds Hezbollah and “It’s a very troubling nation right now.”

IN OTHER WORDS (on Guantanamo): “I also made it clear that part of the delay was the reluctance of some nations to take back some of the people being held there. In other words, in order to make it work, we’ve got to have a place for these people to go. ... In other words, part of the issue, Peter, is the practical issue of, what do we do with the people.”

As for the new Red Cross report about torture practices in Gitmo, “I haven’t seen it. We don’t torture.” Except for grammar, which he waterboards with every sentence he speaks: “One of the things I’m anxious about, want to see happen, is that there to be trials.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And therefore, what we’d really be talking about is a simplification of a very complex tax code that might be able to lower rates and at the same time simplify the code, which is like shorthand for certain deductions would be taken away -- in other words, certain tax preferences in the code.”

Honestly, how do you get past the age of 7 with such a poor grasp of singular and plural? “[T]he reason there is tax preferences in the first place are there are powerful interests that have worked to get the preference in the code.”

Asked how he can afford the war and fixing all the bridges and whatnot, he said, “One can meet priorities if they set priorities.” “They” being Congress, which he proceeded to lecture like little children, which is of course the best way to persuade them: “The problem in Congress is they have trouble actually focusing on priorities. ... And we’ve proven that you can set priorities and meet obligations. And so the Congress needs to learn to do that itself.”


He said that “Lewis Libby was held accountable” and that Gonzales doesn’t need to be held accountable because “There’s no proof of wrong. Why would I hold somebody accountable who has done nothing wrong?” Why indeed. “And as a matter of fact, I would hope Congress would become more prone to deliver pieces of legislation that matter, as opposed to being the investigative body.” I’ll bet you would.

Bush admits that he bases his evaluation of Iraq entirely on ideology, and assumes everyone else does the same: “But for those of us who believe it’s worth it, we’ll see progress. For those who believe it’s not worth it, there is no progress.” A few seconds later he repeats that “This is an ideological struggle.” Against reality.

Stoopid reality.

Sporty exchanges

At the UN, the Palestinian delegation is obstructing a Security Council expression of concern about conditions in Palestine.

The Hamas-controlled Gaza part of Palestine, that is.

The Daily Telegraph, which if you kind of squint at it looks a little like a real newspaper, reports, citing aides to both men, that Maliki has frequent shouting matches with David Petraeus and has demanded of Bush that Petraeus be recalled. AP doesn’t confirm that part, but does report that there have been what Ambassador Ryan Crocker calls “sporty exchanges” (he does not say what sport) (Crocker seems to have invented this phrase).

And Maliki’s spokesmodel responded with great tact to the demands of the Iraqi Accordance Front, a Sunni party threatening to pull out of the cabinet, accusing them of “threatening, pressuring and blackmail” in an attempt to “bring Iraq back to the time of dictatorship and slavery.”

Maliki especially dislikes Petraeus’s new policy of arming Sunni militias, and the Iraqi Accordance Front especially dislikes the presence of Shiite militiamen in the Iraqi military.

A proud moment for George W. Bush

Tony Blair says there is a “sense of possibility at the moment” in the Middle East. He does not say if there is a possibility of sense.

Lance Cpl Stephen Tatum said (not under oath) at his hearing that during the Haditha Massacre, he killed civilians in their home because he didn’t know that there were civilians in civilian homes: “I didn’t know there was women and children in that house until later.” In fact, he had another word for them: “I really couldn’t make out more than targets.” He said that if he had known, “I would have physically stopped everybody in that room from shooting.” However, witnesses have testified that he was told, gave an order to kill them, then went back and did it himself. Also, last year he told investigators, “targets women and kids can hurt you, too.”

And in the court-martial of Sgt. Lawrence Hutchins III, the mastermind behind the abduction and murder of Awad the Lame, we are told that he hatched the plan after hearing that another squad had kidnapped and murdered a suspected insurgent and got away with it. Hutchins’s lawyer says that at the time he was suffering post-traumatic stress disorder and poor leadership. For example, he was once ordered to choke a prisoner into unconsciousness.

According to the NYT, every week or two Bush calls up Maliki and they have a drunken discussion about God, or something.

Bush held a little photo op as he received the report from Donna Shalala and Elizabeth Dole on the medical treatment of wounded soldiers. “And so they took a very interesting approach. They took the perspective from the patient”. Also present, Bob Woodruff of ABC, who was injured in Iraq. Bush told him, “Congratulations on the will to recover.”

Bush’s handlers decided that he should celebrate that report and demonstrate his commitment to the wounded by going jogging with two of them.


Afterwards, he said, “Running with these two men is incredibly inspirational for me.” So it was all worth while.


“And it should be inspirational to anybody who has been dealt a tough hand.” No, no, George, it’s their legs that are made of metal, their legs.


He added, “It’s a proud moment for me, a proud moment.” It was unclear what he felt he had to be proud of.

Myths refuted!

The White House issues another of its hilarious “fact checks” refuting “key myths” about Iraq, such as the one that Iraq was formed out of Zeus’s snot.

Also, Myth 1: “The war ‘is lost.’” It so is not. We know exactly where it is.

Myth 3: The U.S. is playing “whack-a-mole” in Iraq. It’s really more like that game where you try to pick up a teddy bear with a claw.

Myth 9: Maliki is an agent of Iran and/or Sadr. In fact, “There is no evidence that Maliki or his wing of the Da’wa Party is an agent or puppet of Iran.”

Read the whole thing; it’s chock-full of bitter laughs.

Destiny

Nouri al-Maliki was interviewed by Newsweek Friday (link, other link) .

He claimed that the people who attacked the Shiite Samarra mosque would probably also go after Sunni mosques in order to provoke rioting. Sure they would. He took credit for the relative lack of sectarian violence in the aftermath of this week’s attack, due to the “quick and wise reaction” of his government.

He said of the parade of American officials coming to pressure him this week that “Iraq is an Arab country and it is an Arab tradition to welcome guests, so, everyone is welcome to Iraq,” and would they please stop using the word pressure, he really doesn’t like that. And it’s not even necessary because “I am the person who most believes in national reconciliation.” He says he needs more time so that his work will be “written in stone.” That does tend to slow down the steno pool.


Evidently, every time he and Bush speak, they try to one-up each other by denouncing their respective elected legislatures: “Every time I meet President Bush through the videoconference I tell him that I have a hard time dealing with the Parliament or the political blocs. He says, ‘I have a worse time dealing with the Congress.’ And when he says, ‘I have aggravation in the Congress,’ I say, ‘I have bigger aggravation with parliament.’” They do this for hours. Good times, good times.

Maliki denounced the new US policy of arming Sunni sheiks slash warlords slash death squads in Anbar, saying “I believe that the Coalition forces do not know the backgrounds of the tribes” and “They make mistakes by arming tribes sometimes, and this is dangerous because this will create new militias.” I wondered how long it would take him to respond publicly to the news that the US was supporting military forces not subordinate to the central government. And then only to an American magazine.

He described the American invasion and occupation of Iraq in this way: “Destiny wanted to bring together two people who strongly stick to their principles.” Destiny has a sick sense of humor.

The price is worth paying

Bush issued a statement about the latest attack on the Samarra mosque. He’s against it. The US will send troops to the area to guard the rubble, and to “restor[e] calm and security to the area.” The Samarranians will no doubt be interested to hear that their area was calm and secure right up until this morning. Bush also said, “The United States also stands ready to help the Iraqi people rebuild and restore this holy shrine.” As I said last year, when he made the same offer about the dome, the Shiites really don’t want your infidel fingerprints on their holy site.

Iraqi PM Maliki, who just yesterday said, “we have eliminated the danger of sectarian war,” has an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal today, suggesting that “Americans keen to understand the ongoing struggle for a new Iraq can be guided by the example of their own history,” specifically, the American Civil War, which “took hundreds of thousands of lives but ended in the triumph of freedom and the birth of a great power.” And Iraq is just like that. Well, the taking of hundreds of thousands of lives part; obviously not the triumph of freedom part or the birth of a great power part.

He gives a little history of Iraq. Under the Baathist Party, “Countless people were put to death on the smallest measure of suspicion.” Thank god that could never happen in Iraq today. Also, “Wars were waged by that regime and our national treasure was squandered without the consent of a population that was herded into costly and brutal military campaigns.” I can’t even imagine what it would be like to live under such a regime. Oh, wait.

He uses the word “national” a lot, as if repetition will convince us that Iraq isn’t irreconcilably fragmented: national army, national government, national interests, national ideas, and, most laughably, national reconciliation.

He says that freedom “is never cheap but the price is worth paying if we are to rescue our country.”

He doesn’t say precisely what that price will be.

Also, I don’t recall Iraq being a whole lot of help during our Civil War.

Our spirit is not broken. Although everything else is.

Haditha massacre hearings update: last week Lt Col. Chessani tried to call an expert witness on Islamic culture, to prove... well, what exactly we’ll never know because the court decided hearing from a Benedictine monk would look bad in Iraq. This week we’ve learned that Corp. Justin Sharratt said in a 2006 statement that he believed the entire Haditha area (pop. of city 90,000) was hostile, so he was free to “use any means necessary and my training to eliminate the hostile threat.” For example, after shooting one armed man (or so he says), he took out several others. That’s the “any means necessary” part. Here’s the “training” part: “I could not tell while I was shooting if they were armed or not, but I felt threatened.” Of course he felt threatened; after all, there were Iraqis around, and he considered every single Iraqi to be hostile.

Although, to be fair, I don’t imagine Sharratt is the most popular guy in Haditha.

There has been a parade of Americans visiting Maliki to tell him to, you know, accomplish something. Anything, really. Maliki, while saying that “There are lots of difficulties that are not well understood from outside,” also claims that there have been many successes that aren’t well understood from outside Maliki’s head. He says that Petraeus’s report in September “should list the accomplishments.” For example, “Our spirit is not broken.” I’m not sure “accomplishment” is the precise word for “our spirit is not broken.” What else’ve ya got? “Another success is that no one is above the law.” Or below it, because, really, what law? Also, and I’ll reprint in full the every-so-slightly sceptical NYT sentence containing the quote, “Without providing evidence, he added, ‘we have eliminated the danger of sectarian war.’”

Literally, not figuratively, restoring America’s place in the world

A reminder that the effects of any war are felt for a very long time indeed: former British army corporal Leslie Croft has just died as a result of an injury sustained from a shell blast in 1943.

The Iraq situation has certainly created a new range of business opportunities for people with entrepreneurial spirit. Case in point: people who race to the scenes of bombings and, pretending to be medics (indeed, some of them actually are), make off with the corpses of victims and hold them for ransom.

The NYT referred today to remarks made by Bush in a January meeting with Congressional leaders which I don’t seem to have caught at the time. 1) “I said to Maliki this has to work or you’re out.” You have to wonder if he really said that to Maliki in those words. You also have to wonder what the congresscritters said. 2) Asked why he thought the surge would work, Bush responded, “Because it has to.” You have to wonder if he believes that’s actually some sort of logical argument.

Sigh, no you don’t.

At the California Democratic Party convention today, Hillary Clinton called Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” Day four years ago “one of the most shameful episodes in American history. ... The only mission he accomplished was the re-election of Republicans.” To which Bush no doubt responded, “Yeah, and your point is?”

And Joe Biden said that the American people are “looking for someone literally, not figuratively, to restore America’s place in the world.” North America, right? In between Mexico and that nice country with all the hockey?

Sorry, I hate it when people say literally when they don’t mean literally.

And Barack Obama said something about how he would “turn the page” on Iraq. While I don’t know what that actually means, after 6 years of Bush it’s refreshing to see someone using a book metaphor.