Wednesday, January 29, 1997

Imperfect and ok with it

This is from, a website for folks in the joint. (Update: link no longer works) This is the women seeking men section, but check out the men seeking women section ("I love pizza, Big Macs, and Coors Light Beer. Are you out there?") and the death row section, where everybody is wrongly convicted. The typos are the web site's fault, not the prisoners', by the way.

Women seeking Men Penn-Pals Master Sheet

Click on a name or a picture and view that Penn-Pals Home Page!

[2]Gidget Lewis I am a Black-French-Indian Native. Currently in Texas Women Prison in Gatesville. Doing a 30 year sentence, been down 6 years. I have learned from my mistakes and I am seeking a long term friendship of lover, age 35 and up. Race is unimportant. My days spent here are very lonely. Without a companion to enjoy the night hours and days with. I'm in search of someone who knows the pain and fears of such admissable circumstances that have become part of my life. ......

[4]Kim McCullough HELP ! ! ! Single mother of two daughters. I am a perfectionist who is imperfect and OK with it. I am a dedicated, loyal, hard working, intelligent, loving and loveable woman. I am an artist, who is kind, empathetic, dependable, a great friend in need of constant challenges because I bore easily.

I am self-sufficient, versitile, eager for knowledge, ......

[6]Lora Zaiontz Honesty is a high priority. I'm incarcerated serving a life sentence for being a party to the crime of capitol murder. Please don't be afraid for I am truly a lost and lonely kitten, who continues to trust in peoples good intention. During my incarceration I have achieved my Associates Degree and now work on my batchor. I've been here thirteen years now. I was 17 years old at the time I came. The world I'll enter once free will be all new. I seek someone who will hold my hand always.

[8]Kim Leavelle Greetings Friends ! Don't let this prison garb picture scar you off. I'm Cinderella at heart; seeking pumpkins of all walks of life. I'm lonely and desolate; despite singing songs of dispair. . . and pity parties . . . I find humor does the soul good. I'm incarcerated for a non-violent robbery because of my previous addiction to drugs. If you are facing adversity in your life, let me pick you up and dust you off, then journey through life with smiles on our faces : ) Who needs glass slippers anyways? I hear they cause bunyons! ; ) 'wink & a smile'.......

[10]Je Donna Young Dynamic Multifaceted Lady - who wishes to correspond with a diverse sincere gentleman. I am a warm, compassionate woman seeking just the right man for me. True Old Fashioned Gentleman - Please respond to a sincere lady who wishes to correspond with a gentleman from a by gone era.......

[12]Jean Federico Hello, I have taken some wrong roads in life but now my head is together. I have spent many years in here. It's very lonely. I'm seeking an amiable, magnanimous man to write a lonely woman like myself. Please find the time to write me. I am lonely for companionship. I desperately need to socialize with people in society. I cry at movies whether they are sad or happy......

[14]Leslie Faulkner Hi There, I am looking for a nice man who is kind and understanding to write me. I do not receive any mail at all and desperately seek companionship. I am very outgoing & athletic. I am in here on a non-violent crime. I have turned my life around and need some mental suport. My family turned on me after this happened and I need someone to care.....

[16]Vicki Heyer I seek a sincere, caring, warm-hearted man, age 25-48, for friendship, possibly something more. I believe inner warmth is more inmortant than looks, age, race or nationality.....

[18]Aquilia Horace Hello ! I am a very young and sexy lady. I'd love to start to receive mail. I'll answer all letters. I'm presently incarcerated. I'm really not a hardened criminal, I made a mistake and am paying for it now. I've learned a hell of a lot. I'm in need of some new loving and caring friends who will grow to love me for the person I am today.

[22]Denise Jacques A 6' 2" Blue Eyed Doll looking for a man who is financially secure and willing to give a little help. Also willing to forgive a mistake and be emotionally supportive. I am willing to relocate. If interested please send a letter and photo....

[24]Robbie Coakley Single White Female, 34 years old, 5' 6" . Small, slim lady looking for a friendship, possible companionship, willing to relocate. I'm a fun, loving cowgirl looking for someone who is willing to live life to the fullest...

[26]Linda Paisley A "normal", attractive, vivacious, 5' 7" brown eyed beauty with a killer smile, outrageous personality, whose mission is to seek out and and find a professional or businessman 30's - 50's, who still has a twinkle in his eye.....

Coddling criminals

The guy who got life under CA's 3 strikes law for stealing a slice of pizza has had his sentence revised on appeal. He will be out after only 4 years (with good behaviour). With such leniency towards pizza theft, the republic must surely crumble.

Speaking of republics that crumbled, does anyone have the *words* to Virginia's "state song emeritus", recently demoted from its status as state song, or perhaps that's kicked upstairs, when it was discovered that it was the "darkies" who were supposed to be doing the Carrying Back to Old Virginny.

The State Dept accuses Germany of discriminating against Scientologists. Evidently, Madeleine Albright is now dating John Travolta.

Finally, from an LA Times article about yesterday's TV coverage of Yeltsin, designed to prove that he was in fact still breathing:

"This situation reminds one of the last days of Konstantin Chernenko," Sergei Markov, a political analyst with the Moscow Carnegie Center, said in comparing Yeltsin's staged appearances with the heavily edited glimpses Russians got of their last leader to die in office.
After a 13-month stint, the wheezing and frail Chernenko died in March 1985 at age 73.
Recalling one highly choreographed shot of Chernenko congratulating visitors to his "office" on International Women's Day--two days before his death--Markov said the film was taken at an awkward angle to obscure the fact that the hospitalized leader had no pants on.

What a coincidence: that's just how Clinton likes to celebrate International Women's Day!

Monday, January 27, 1997

Tom Carson of the Village Voice says that Clinton's new cabinet does look like America--pudgy, bamboozled, potentially truculent, bereft of fashion sense, mysteriously unconvincing.

Incidentally, to give the middle class a greater say in the running of the country, the Lincoln Bedroom is now charging hourly rates.

Thursday, January 23, 1997

Italian prison inmates will be allowed to keep pet birds and fish, the Vatican came out against smoking, the ban on pornography in military PXs was declared unconstitutional, the Vienna Philharmonic will allow in women, Brigitte Bardot was acquitted of violating France's anti-racism laws, Playboy magazine is now the best-selling magazine in Ireland less than a year after it was unbanned, and the local Tory party in Kensington-Chelsea, the safest Tory seat in Britain, has found a suitable replacement for Sir Nicholas Scott, who you will remember for being found drunk in a gutter: Alan Clark, the world-class adulterer, who once screwed a friend's wife and both her daughters, presumably not at the same time, a man so rich that he criticized Michael Heseltine as being the sort of man who buys his own furniture, and whose motto, I quote here from his published diaries: "Girls have to be succulent, and that means under 25." The good burghers of Kensington-Chelsea found him suitable, extracting only one promise from him: that he not vote in favor of banning hunting.

Tuesday, January 21, 1997

Some Federal District Court judge in NYC decided not to find anti-abortion clinic blockaders guilty of contempt of his own injunction. He says that since he acted as both judge and jury at the previous trial that resulted in the injunction, he had the right of a juror to ignore laws he believes are wrong. Needless to say, he is a Reagan appointee.

Tuesday, January 14, 1997

Pyromania in the news

2 women leave the Citadel, citing harassment. The president of the Citadel says nonsense, it's customary to set all new recruits on fire.

In the Sunday NY Times Week in Review section, there is a picture of a South Korean striker on fire. The headline: "Seoul Takes Its Cue From Mrs. Thatcher".

Saturday, January 11, 1997

A pig just got a face-lift. There are real reasons, but the story's funnier if you don't know them.

Poland is starting a cavalry unity. If there are real reasons I have yet to determine them. They can use pictures from the cavalry in action against German tanks in 1939 in the recruitment posters. Are we sure we want these people in NATO?

Y'all will remember several articles I sent a few months ago about a British insurance company offering policies against haunted houses, second comings and alien abductions. Well, it seems the whole thing was a fraud. It collapsed as the guy in charge issued a fake giant check for 1 million pounds, supposed to be presented by the chick from the X-files, to some abductee. Oh the perfidy!