Bush’s last press conference: I don’t know why they get angry

This morning Bush held his last (yay) press conference.

IN OTHER WORDS: “I have talked to the President-elect about this subject. And I told him that if he felt that he needed the $350 billion, I would be willing to ask for it. In other words, if he felt it needed to happen on my watch.”


He talked about the lunch he and Obama had with the ex-presidents, and highlighted a, to him, surprising point of commonality: “And one common area, at least the four of us, we all had different circumstances and experiences, but one thing is we’ve all experienced what it means to assume the responsibility of the presidency.”

On peace in the Middle East: “And I know we have advanced the process.” So that’s okay, then.

PASSING ON HIS INHERITANCE INTACT: “In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession.”

THE BUCK STOPS. “When people analyze the situation, there will be -- this problem started before my presidency, it obviously took place during my presidency. The question facing a president is not when the problem started, but what did you do about it when you recognized the problem.” Also possibly significant: how long did it take you to recognize the problem. And you’re saying it took you at least eight years to do so.

WELL AT LEAST HE PREVENTED THERE TO BE A CRISIS: “You know, one of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people’s money to help prevent there to be a crisis”.


Why do people really really hate you? “You know, most people I see, you know, when I’m moving around the country, for example, they’re not angry. And they’re not hostile people. ... I’ve met a lot of people who don’t agree with the decisions I make. But they have been civil in their discourse. And so, I view those who get angry and yell and say bad things and, you know, all that kind of stuff, it’s just a very few people in the country. I don’t know why they get angry. I don’t know why they get hostile.” Yeah, it’s a mystery all right.


Asked if there were any mistakes he wanted to acknowledge now, he mentioned the “Mission Accomplished” banner. “We were trying to say something differently, but nevertheless, it conveyed a different message.”

He thoughtfully added that he has pondered whether he might have made any mistakes over Katrina. But he didn’t. “I’ve thought long and hard about Katrina -- you know, could I have done something differently, like land Air Force One either in New Orleans or Baton Rouge. The problem with that and -- is that law enforcement would have been pulled away from the mission.”

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO THE CHOPPER DRIVERS?: In fact, people should really stop bitching about Katrina already: “But when I hear people say, the federal response was slow, then what are they going to say to those chopper drivers, or the 30,000 that got pulled off the roofs?”


IN OTHER WORDS: Another possible mistake: pushing his failed Social Security ideas rather than his failed immigration ideas after the 2004 elections. “And the reason why is, is that -- you know, one of the lessons I learned as governor of Texas, by the way, is legislative branches tend to be risk-adverse. In other words, sometimes legislatures have the tendency to ask, why should I take on a hard task when a crisis is not imminent?”

MISTAKES, DISAPPOINTMENTS, OR JUST WACKY HAPPENSTANCES, YOU BE THE JUDGE: “There have been disappointments. Abu Ghraib obviously was a huge disappointment during the presidency. Not having weapons of mass destruction was a significant disappointment. I don’t know if you want to call those mistakes or not, but they were -- things didn’t go according to plan, let’s put it that way.”

But he doesn’t think that torture and Gitmo have hurt America’s reputation, except among the elite, and you know how picky those people are: “I strongly disagree with the assessment that our moral standing has been damaged. It may be damaged amongst some of the elite, but people still understand America stands for freedom, that America is a country that provides such great hope. You go to Africa, you ask Africans about America’s generosity and compassion; go to India, and ask about, you know, America’s -- their view of America. Go to China and ask. Now, no question parts of Europe have said that we shouldn’t have gone to war in Iraq without a mandate, but those are a few countries. ... In certain quarters in Europe, you can be popular by blaming every Middle Eastern problem on Israel. Or you can be popular by joining the International Criminal Court. I guess I could have been popular by accepting Kyoto ... And in terms of the decisions that I had made to protect the homeland, I wouldn’t worry about popularity. What I would worry about is...” wait for it... “the Constitution of the United States”.

A LOT OF EMOTION: “Even in the darkest moments of Iraq, you know, there was -- and every day when I was reading the reports about soldiers losing their lives, no question there was a lot of emotion, but also there was times where we could be light-hearted and support each other.” Like when they watched Rumsfeld’s blooper reels of soldiers losing their lives, with the funny sound effects.


THE GEORGE W. BUSH CENTER FOR REMINDERING: “And that might be a good thing for the Bush center to do at SMU, is to remind people about the benefits of free and fair trade”.

HE’S THE REMINDEDERER: “And when you get a national security briefing, it is a reminder of the responsibilities of the job. It’s just a daily reminder about what may or may not happen.”

PEDALING TO FORGET: “And there’s not a moment where you don’t think about being president -- unless you’re riding mountain bikes as hard as you possibly can, trying to forget for the moment.”

After leaving office, he intends to stay out of the spotlight, unless of course he has something really important to talk about: “And so I wake up in Crawford Tuesday morning -- I mean, Wednesday morning, and I suspect I’ll make Laura coffee and go get it for her. And it’s going to be a different feeling. And I can’t -- it’s kind of like -- I’ll report back after I feel it.” You do that.

I don’t think you can take one guy throwing shoes and say this represents a broad movement in Iraq

Dick Cavett on Blagojevich: “We all know from childhood that it’s not nice to make fun of people’s appearance. So I will confine myself to merely observing that whatever covers the governor’s head looks to me like a bowling-ball cozy.”

Bush went on a “surprise” visit to Iraq and Afghanistan. The White House made a big deal about how Iraq is finally safe enough that Air Force One could touch down in daylight. Truly, the five and a half years of war have all been worth it.

Of course Bush visited the troops, who Hoo-ahed him (and once, USA USA USA’d him).

BUSH: Laura and I have been having a lot of Christmas parties at the White House, so I thought it would be kind of neat to change the scenery.

AUDIENCE: Hoo-ah!

BUSH: in the spirit of the season we renamed Air Force One to Rudolph One.

AUDIENCE: Hoo-ah

Etcetera.

A HEAVILY-ARMED BLESSING: “This is a time of year to give thanks for our many blessings – and the greatest blessing we have is freedom and the fact that we’ve got a United States military to defend that freedom.”

THOSE COUNTRY: “There have been a lot of troops from around the world who have come to help this young democracy survive and thrive. And so I want to thank the citizens of those country [sic] and the troops who have served here before us.”

DRAMA QUEEN: “But thanks to you, the Iraq we stand in tonight is dramatically freer, dramatically safer, and dramatically better than the Iraq we found eight years ago.” (AUDIENCE: Hoo-ah!)

BROKEN RECORD: “I want to take you back to what life was like eight years ago here in Iraq. Iraq had a record of supporting terror, a record of developing and using weapons of mass destruction...”

NO DOUBT, OR ANYTHING ELSE REALLY: “There’s more hard work to do before we reach that day. But if there is any -- but if there is no doubt -- but there is no doubt in my mind, there’s just no doubt that we’re going to reach that day. I am confident because our cause is just. And freedom is universal.”

OR POSSIBLY, “ENOUGH WITH THE ANCIENT HISTORY ALREADY, GRAMPS!”: “I guess what I’m telling you is your grandchildren some day are going to say, ‘Thank God you showed up and served.’”

GROWING UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE: “We think of those who have laid down their lives for freedom here in Iraq. Their children are growing up without a mom or a dad. But all of our children are growing up with something else -- the promise of a safer America and a better world.” So that’s okay then.

WHAT THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD ASK: “They ask me what I’m going to miss as the President. I’ll tell you what I’m going to miss: being the Commander-in-Chief of such a fabulous group of folks.” Fabulous, that’s one a mah commander-in-chief phrases.

He met with Maliki, signed the Status of Forces Agreement, then turned to the only thing that really interests him on these foreign trips: “And I’m looking forward to some food.”


YOU NOTICE: “And our plan is working. You notice I say ‘our plan.’”

OF WHY WE FIGHT: “This is a future of what we’ve been fighting for”

SACRIFICED? YOU MEAN THEY CHOSE TO HAVE THEIR COUNTRY DESTROYED? “And the Iraqi people have sacrificed a lot.”

AND BARACK SAYS THANKS A BUNDLE: “And we are leaving the next president with a stable foundation for the future, and an approach that can enjoy broad bipartisan support at home.”

DO TELL: “The war is not yet over”.

At this point there was what the White House transcript describes as: “(Audience interruption.)”






Good reflexes, huh? But then, if you had to hang out with Dick Cheney, you’d practice your ducking skills too.

Naturally, Bush took this as yet another sign of the great progress in Iraq: “But that’s what happens in free societies, where people try to draw attention to themselves.” “It’s like going to a political rally and having people yell at you. It’s like driving down the street and have people not gesturing with all five fingers. It’s a way for people to, you know, draw -- I don’t know what the guy’s cause is. But one thing is for certain -- he caused you to ask me a question about it.”

By the time he was interviewed by the pool reporters, his gag writers had gone to work on jokes about “ducking questions” and “I didn’t know what the guy said, but I saw his sole.” One of the reporters responded, “So you weren’t a lame duck.”

A reporter said of the footwear-hurler: “Obviously he’s expressing a vein of anger that exists in Iraq, and...”, at which point Bush interrupted to ask, “How do you know? I mean, how do we know what he’s expressing?” I’m thinking the first hint was the left shoe and the second hint was the right shoe.

WHAT IT WAS: “All I’m telling you, it was a bizarre moment.”

WHAT ONE GUY THROWING SHOES DOESN’T REPRESENT: “I don’t think you can take one guy throwing shoes and say this represents a broad movement in Iraq.” Why don’t you go stand on a street corner and see if anyone else throws shoes at you, so we can find out for sure?

WHAT (ELSE) STRUCK HIM: “one of the things that struck me was not the road, but was the amount of electricity there was inside Baghdad. It looked like a pretty well-lit city.” That’s not electricity, those were burning American flags.

WHAT HE SAW: “I saw a lot of kids playing soccer; I saw a lot of activity, a lot of street activity on the route we took. And General Odierno said a while ago that wouldn’t have been the case.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “Part of my mission here was to remind the Iraqi government that there is still a lot of work to be done on SFA-SOFA”.

IN OTHER WORDS: The questions turned to the American economy. “We took note that there was a majority in the House and the Senate that voted for a package for the autos that would have caused them to begin to show how they’re going to be viable. In other words, I have made this statement that given the status of the financial system, an abrupt bankruptcy for the autos could be devastating for the economy.”

YEAH, TRY NOT TO DO THAT CRATERING THING: “And therefore, we’ve tried to work with Congress to accomplish the objective of not cratering the economy as well as making sure good money doesn’t go after bad.”

He said repeatedly that decreased violence in Iraq was a sign of success. Increased violence in Afghanistan is also, of course, a sign of success: “No question the violence is up. But one reason why the violence is up is that we’re now putting troops into places where there hadn’t been troops -- begin to press these guys in places where they hadn’t been pressed.” Kinky.

DID YOU EVER THINK, AFTER 1969 OR SO, THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER AGAIN USE THE PHRASE “HEARTS AND MINDS” IN A NON-SARCASTIC SENSE? “Like a lot of other situations in which you’re trying to deal with extremists who get embedded in the population, there are two aspects -- one is to pressure them and to bring them to justice; and simultaneously try to win the hearts and minds of the local folks, which is what is happening Iraq.”

WHAT THE ELECTION PROCESS IN AFGHANISTAN WILL PROVIDE: “So the election process in Afghanistan will once again provide people an opportunity to say, we’re tired of this, or we appreciate that.”

The nicknamer-in-chief asked the NYT’s Steven Lee Myers, “Mind if I call you Jimmy Lee?” Q: “Steven Lee.” BUSH: “Stevie Lee, I mean.”

WHAT THESE NATIONS NEED TO KNOW: “These nations need to know that the United States has been with them, is with them, and will be with them.”

He was also interviewed by Martha Raddatz of ABC.

He described the shoe incident as “amusing. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of weird things during my presidency and this may rank up there as one of the weirdest.” Although that turnip in the shape of Al Pacino was pretty weird too.

He added, “I thought it was interesting, I thought it was unusual to have a guy throw his shoe at you. But I’m not insulted.”

TURNS OUT: “One of the major theaters against al Qaeda turns out to have been Iraq.” Raddatz pointed out, “But not until after the U.S. invaded.” Bush responded, “Yeah, that’s right. So what? The point is that al Qaeda said they’re going to take a stand.” So what.

So what!!!

LUXURY: Asked about another rationale for the war, WMDs, he said: “I did not have the luxury of knowing he did not have them, neither did the rest of the world until after we had come and removed him.” A luxury is a fur-lined toilet seat. Knowing what you’re talking about before launching a war, some people would consider that a necessity.

WHY THE SOFA ISN’T ONE OF THOSE ARTIFICIAL TIMETABLES HE DOESN’T LIKE: “What I talked about timetables, was a political timetable imposed upon Iraq by people who didn’t think we should have been in there in the first place. This is an agreement between the sovereign government of Iraq and the U.S. government with the considered judgment of our military commanders at the core of, uh, of the agreement.”

WHY EVERYONE SHOULD JUST GO AHEAD AND IGNORE OBAMA’S PROMISE TO BE OUT OF IRAQ IN 16 months: “His plan -- the numbers didn’t come up -- but one of the things I assured the Iraqi government of is that President-elect Obama is, uh, will honor the agreements that we have just signed”.

BRILLIANT: Says Obama’s choice of Shinseki to head the Dept of Veterans Affairs is “a brilliant appointment,” and says he didn’t ignore his call for more troops in Iraq: “I did listen to Gen. Shinseki when he came in with the Joint Chiefs of Staff.” Well, there’s listening, and then there’s, you know, listening: “I don’t remember those exact words being spoken to me by Gen. Shinseki. I must confess I don’t remember those exact words being spoken to me, by Gen. Shi& he may have said it.” (The glitch in the transcript is ABC’s.)

Does he mind not having captured bin Laden? “And do I wish we had brought Osama bin Laden to justice, sure. But he’s not leading a lot of parades these days.” So that’s okay then.

In Afghanistan, Bush talked to some more troops.

HE’S THE MESSENGER-IN-CHIEF: “I had the honor of going to Fort Campbell the other day. I saw a lot of your comrades, and I saw a lot of your families. And they have a message for you: Air Assault!”

AFGHANS, IRAQIS, WHAT’S THE DIF? “And thanks to you, the Taliban has gone from power, the al Qaeda training camps are closed, and 25 million Iraqis are free.”

WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH SIMPLER: “Removing the Taliban was a landmark achievement. But our work did not end there. See, we could have replaced one group of thugs with another strongman. ... It would have been so much simpler to say we got rid of one bunch and here’s another one.”

WHAT WE ARE MAKING: “And together with the determined people of Afghanistan, we are making hopeful gains.”

GEORGE IS DOWN WITH THE KIDS: “Thanks to you, girls are back in school across Afghanistan. Does that matter? I think it does. I think it does. Thanks to you, boys are playing soccer again, and flying kites, and learning to be Boy Scouts.” Um, the Boy Scouts, George?

You bet it’s big, because it needed to be big

Today Bush met with Colombian President Uribe. He even, for the first time in weeks, took a couple of questions.

WHAT EMPTY PROMISES WON’T BE: “In the last few years, thousands of members of FARC have deserted. They’ve realized the empty promise of the leaders of -- you know, won’t be met.”


He lectured Congress about the importance of ratifying the free-trade treaty: “And members of Congress from both parties have got to understand the following facts.” There were three of them.

IN OTHER WORDS: “First of all, about half our growth last year, Mr. President, was because of exports. In other words, exports have affected our economy in a positive way.”

There were two more facts that members of Congress from both parties have got to understand. See if you can follow along with the MBA president’s sophisticated analysis: “Secondly, a lot of small businesses trade -- send goods and services to Colombia. It’s important for the small business sector to be vital and strong. Thirdly, a lot of jobs depend upon exports.”

STRUTTING OUT: “Dos preguntas por cada lado. Deb. That’s two questions per each side. (Laughter.) Just strutting out my Spanish here.” (Later, he will beg Colombian reporters not to speak in Spanish.)


OF HOW SIGNIFICANT: “My first instinct was to let the market work until I realized, upon being briefed by the experts, of how significant this problem became. And so I decided to act and act boldly.” You know, I can picture him standing in front of the mirror saying to himself, “I must act. And act boldly!”

WHAT IT TURNS OUT: “It turns out that there’s a lot of interlinks throughout the financial system. The system had grown to a point where a lot of people were dependent upon each other”. Yes, a lot of people are dependent on each other now; the economy has changed since you went to Harvard Business School, back in 2000 B.C.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, the system risk was significant, and it required a significant response, and Congress understands that.”

HEH HEH, HE SAID BIG PACKAGE: “This is a big package, because it was a big problem.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “And, you know, I tell our -- I will tell our citizens and continue to remind them that the risk of doing nothing far outweighs the risk of the package, and that, over time, we’re going to get a lot of the money back.” Heh heh, he said “the risk of the package.”


THEY’RE THE REMINDERERS: “We’re going to go to New York and talk to -- and remind people here in the nation’s capital that this is an issue that affects a lot more than countries than just Colombia.”

FABULOUSNESS ALERT: “And therefore, I asked Hank Paulson -- who, by the way, in my judgment, is doing a fabulous job”.

WHAT HE UNDERSTANDS: “And I understand it’s important to have confidence in a financial system.”

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “At first I thought we could deal with this -- deal with the problem one issue at a time. We made the decision on Fannie and Freddie because there was systemic risk to our mortgage markets. And then obviously AIG came along -- and Lehman came along and it was -- it declared bankruptcy; then AIG came along and it -- the house of cards was much bigger, beyond -- started to stretch beyond just Wall Street, in the sense of the effects of failure. And so when one card started to go, we were worried about the whole deck going down, and so therefore moved, and moved hard.” Because when you’re worrying about a house of cards going down, you move, and move hard.


WHY IT’S BIG: “And you bet it’s big, because it needed to be big.”

BUT YOU’LL TELL US WHEN IT IS THE TIME, RIGHT? “Now is not the time to play the blame game.”

Bush in South Korea: And my hope is that the axis of evil list no longer exists

Bush was in South Korea this morning, and held a press conference with the Korean president. As ever, Bush focused with laser-like intensity on the most important aspect of the meetings: “And Laura and I and Barbara are looking forward to lunch.”



He was asked about the pre-Olympics crack-down on human rights in China, and responded, not for the first time, by talking about only one human right, religious: “I’ve been meeting with Chinese leaders now for seven and a half years; my message has been the same: You should not fear religious people in your society”.



But then again, asked about North Korea coming off the list of state sponsors of terrorism, he talked only about nuclear weapons: “They got to, like, show us a verification regime that we can trust.”

They’ll also have to do that to get off what Bush calls “the axis of evil list.”



ALSO, SANTA’S “NAUGHTY OR NICE” LIST, BECAUSE HE’S TIRED OF GETTING LUMPS OF COAL: “And my hope is that the ‘axis of evil’ list no longer exists. That’s my hope, for the sake of peace.”

Although one thing is for certain: “I mean, one thing is for certain that he did blow up the cooling tower.”



After that lunch, he went to a US Army garrison because “I always look forward to the chance to say ‘Hooah!’” Well, who doesn’t? Say it with me right now: Hooah!



Are your co-workers giving you the same look my cat’s giving me right now?



THE RUBBLES OF WAR: “We’ve worked with our allies to help build a free and prosperous country out of the rubbles of war.”

He liked the South Korean army too (what’s the Korean for “Hooah!”?): “One of the signs of Korea’s emergence is a professional and capable military. It’s one of the things you look for, when you see a country begin to get on its feet and take control of its destiny, is what kind of military does it have?” One that overthrew the civilian government and ruled with an iron fist, crushing all dissent, for thirty years, thank you for asking.

Bush press conference: Became a nervousness

Bush held a press conference this morning.

BECAUSE IF THERE IS ONE THING BUSH STANDS FOR, IT IS HEARING THE FRUSTRATIONS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE: “Democratic leaders have been delaying action on offshore exploration and now they have an opportunity to show that they finally heard the frustrations of the American people.”


On the economy, he adopted the Phil Gramm position that it’s all in our heads (sadly, no one asked Bush if we’re a nation of whiners): “And so the purpose [of the intervention to save Ms. Mae and Mr. Mac] was to send a clear signal that, one, we understand how important these institutions are to the mortgage markets, and two, to kind of calm nerves.”


IF YOU’RE A COMMERCIAL BANK IN AMERICA: “Now, if you’re a commercial bank in America and your deposit -- and you have a deposit in a commercial bank in America, your deposit is insured by the federal government up to $100,000.”

BECAME A NERVOUSNESS: “I happened to witness a bank run in Midland, Texas, one time. I’ll never forget the guy standing in the bank lobby saying, your deposits are good. We got you insured. You don’t have to worry about it if you got less than $100,000 in the bank. The problem was, people didn’t hear. And there’s a -- became a nervousness. My hope is, is that people take a deep breath and realize that their deposits are protected by our government.”

“And there are some things we can do. One is wait for the stimulus package to fully kick in and not raise taxes.” Aren’t those actually some things we can not do?


CHANGING THE PSYCHOLOGY: “They can pass energy legislation. I readily concede that, you know, it’s not going to produce a barrel of oil tomorrow, but it is going to change the psychology that demand will constantly outstrip supply.”

“Government action -- if you’re talking about bailing out -- if your question is, should the government bail out private enterprise, the answer is, no, it shouldn’t. And by the way, the decisions on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- I hear some say ‘bailout’ -- I don’t think it’s a bailout. The shareholders still own the company.” Dude, that’s the definition of a bailout.

ONE OF THE THINGS GEORGE IS DEEPLY TROUBLED ABOUT: “And one of the things I’m deeply troubled about is people who feel like it’s okay to raise taxes during these times.”


WHAT CONSUMERS ARE BEGINNING TO SAY (BESIDES “AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!”): “I’ve been reading a lot about how the automobile companies are beginning to adjust -- people -- consumers are beginning to say, wait a minute, I don’t want a gas guzzler anymore, I want a smaller car.”

WHAT THE PRESIDENT DOESN’T HAVE, AND WHAT YOU JUST CAN’T SAY: “I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand -- but the President doesn’t have a magic wand. You just can’t say, low gas."


WHAT THE STRATEGIC OIL PETROLEUM RESERVE IS FOR: “The Strategic Oil Petroleum Reserve is for, you know, emergencies.”

EVERY DAY IS A GOOD MORNING:

Q: Thank you, Mr. President. Good morning.

SHRUB: Thank you. It is a good morning.

Q: It is.

CHIMPY: Every day is a good morning when you get to serve the country.

Which is why Bush never has a good morning.


Asked what advice he’d give Obama when he visits Iraq: “I would ask him to listen carefully to Ryan Crocker and General Petraeus.”

Also to the Iraqis. “The Iraqis have invited us to be there.”


HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “I was heartened by the fact that the Chinese the other day announced that they’re going to start reducing some of their subsidies, which all of a sudden you may have some, you know, demand-driven changes in the overall balance.”

WHAT GEORGE DOESN’T WANT TO BE: About oil prices: “Again, I don’t want to be a ‘I told you so,’ but if you go back and look at the strategy we put out early on in this administration, we understood what was coming.” But in February, the idea that gas prices might reach $4 was a complete surprise to you, o far-sighted one.


WHAT HIS VIEW ALL ALONG HAS BEEN: On Guantanamo prisoners: “My view all along has been either send them back home, or give them a chance to have a day in court.”

WHAT RECENT EVENTS IN ZIMBABWE SHOULD BE: “And it’s, frankly, unacceptable, and it should be unacceptable to a lot of folks.”

WHAT THE ENEMY IN AFGHANISTAN KILLS AT THE DROP OF: “there is a tough enemy, and they’re brutal, and they kill at the drop of a hat in order to affect behavior.” Whereas we kill at the drop of a hat in order to affect weddings.

WHAT THEY HAVE NO, UM, DISREGARD FOR: “And they have no disregard for human life.”

WHY THESE PEOPLE KILL: “These people kill for a reason. They want us to leave.”

WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT: “And it’s really important we succeed there, as well as in Iraq. We do not want the enemy to have safe haven. Of course -- unless, of course, your attitude is, this isn’t a war. So if that’s the case, it wouldn’t matter whether we succeed or not.”

WHAT GEORGE UNDERSTANDS: “And I understand exhaustion and I understand people getting tired and -- but I would hope that whoever follows me understands that we’re at war”.


WHAT PEOPLE SAY: “People say, aww, man, you’re running out of time, nothing is going to happen.”

With all his talk about oil imports being a national security issue, he vehemently refuses a reporter’s suggestion that he call on Americans to drive less and turn down the thermostat (the reporter doesn’t realize it’s summer): “They’re smart enough to figure out whether they’re going to drive less or not. I mean, you know, it’s interesting what the price of gasoline has done, is it caused people to drive less. ... But the consumer is plenty bright, Mark. The marketplace works. ... it’s a little presumptuous on my part to dictate to consumers how they live their lives. ... And I suspect you’ll see, in the whole, Americans using less gasoline. I bet that’s going to happen. ... And the great thing about our system, it is the consumer that drives our system; it’s the individual American and their collection that end up driving the economy.” At least, until the gas runs out.


HE’S NOT AN ECONOMIST, HE’S AN OPTIMIST: “I’m not an economist, but I do believe that we’re growing. And I can remember this press conference here where people yelling ‘recession this, recession that’ -- as if you’re economists. And I’m an optimist.”

Good to see their president waving that flag

A Scotland Yard sharpshooter who has sharply shot dead an unnamed but large number of people and is nicknamed “Killer,” has been awarded £5,000 in damages for his hurt feelings after a Met commander jokingly told him, “I’ve always wanted to meet the Met’s very own serial killer.” One anonymous copper said that the sharpshooter was, and I quote, “bang out of order.”

Well, I guess it had been a while since we blew up a wedding in Afghanistan and then denied it, claiming to have killed only “militant extremists,” like the bride.

In Tokyo, Bush held a press conference with Prime Minister Fukuda.

SO, GEORGE, HAVE YOU MEMORIZED THOSE LITTLE CATCHPHRASES ABOUT NORTH KOREA WE GAVE YOU? “I view this process as a multi-step process where there will be action for action.”

NOSTRADUMBASS SPEAKS: “I’ve got a pretty good sense about whether or not a G8 is going to be a success or maybe not such a success. This one is going to be a success.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “I appreciate very much your strong belief in the accountability aspect of this meeting. In other words, when people say they’re -- make a pledge to feed the hungry or provide for the ill, that we ought to honor that pledge. And I thank you for understanding that.”


A PROVEN FACT: “And the truth of the matter is, we can give grants, but the best way to help the impoverished around the world is through trade. It’s a proven fact.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “And then I’m going to spend some time, of course, sharing my views about the environment and how we can advance our common agenda, and that -- remind people that the United States and Japan really do lead the world in research when it comes to clean technologies.”

UNSPEAK: “We’re -- we passed uninsurance benefits -- unemployment benefits -- excuse me.”

THAT STATEMENT YOU DIDN’T MAKE IS NOT ACCURATE AND YOU SHOULDN’T NOT MAKE IT AGAIN: “Somehow there’s this notion -- inherent in your question is the delisting therefore took away their sanctions. That’s just not an accurate statement on your part -- if you think that -- I’m not assuming you do think that, but -- they’re a highly sanctioned regime.”

WHAT THE OLYMPICS IS: “I view the Olympics as a opportunity for me to cheer on our athletes. It’s an athletic event. i had the honor of dealing with the Chinese -- two Chinese Presidents during my term, and every time I have visited with them I have talked about religious freedom and human rights. And so, therefore, my decision to go was -- I guess I don’t need the Olympics to express my concerns.” Or a basic working knowledge of the English language.


“I happen to believe not going to the opening games would be -- the Opening Ceremony for the Games would be an affront to the Chinese people...” As opposed to the lack of political and religious freedom “...which may make it more difficult to have a -- to be able to speak frankly with the Chinese leadership.” You know who else can’t speak frankly with the Chinese leadership, without being beaten up and/or imprisoned? The Chinese people.


WHY HE’S DOING WHAT HE’S DOING: “That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. And I’m looking forward to cheering the athletes. I think it will be -- I think it would be good for these athletes who have worked hard to see their President waving that flag.” Bill Clinton used to say the same thing, but I think he meant something different by “waving that flag.”

WHAT PEOPLE SHOULDN’T FEAR: “I have been very clear in my view that, for example, a whole society is one that honors religion, and that people shouldn’t fear religious people.”

And I’m also going to remind people that our habits are changing

This morning Bush talked about next week’s G8 summit.

WHAT ONE OF HIS REALLY IMPORTANT AGENDA ITEMS IS GOING TO: “And so one of my really important agenda items is going to -- is going to rally our partners to make commitments and meet commitments.”

WHAT WE’VE GOT TO WORK TO CONFRONT: “We’ve got to work to confront higher food prices.”


HE’S THE REMINDERER: “I’ll be reminding people that we can have better energy security and we can be better stewards of the environment without sacrificing economic growth.”

HE’S THE REMINDERATOR: “I’ll remind people at the G8 and other nations that we’re taking effective steps.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The 2009 budget requests more than $4 billion to support technologies that have the potential to avoid, reduce and sequester greenhouse gases. In other words, we’ve got a strong agenda when it comes to providing money to encourage the advent of new technologies.” Sequester?


HE’S THE REMINDER-IN-CHIEF: “Look, we can’t have an effective agreement unless China and India are a part of it. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to remind our partners that’s the case.”

THE MORE OF OUR PEOPLE DIE, THE MORE WE MUST BE WINNING: “You know, one reason why there have been more deaths [of US troops in Afghanistan] is because our troops are taking the fight to a tough enemy, an enemy who doesn’t like our presence there because they don’t like the idea of America denying safe haven.” Seems like no one’s haven is all that safe in Afghanistan.

WHAT ONE THING WE NEED TO MAKE CLEAR IS: “One thing we need to make clear when I’m with our partners is that we’re not going to become protectionists, that we believe in free trade and open markets.” So he won’t use protection when he’s with his partners. Well that’s just wrong.


HE’S THE REMINDERSAURUS: “...drilling for oil and gas in our own country -- something I’ve been advocating ever since I’ve been the President. I’ve been reminding our people that we can do so in environmentally friendly ways.”

YOU KNOW WHAT HE REMINDS ME OF? A CHIMPANZEE WITH A FLAG LAPEL PIN. “Ultimately, of course, we’re going to transition away from hydrocarbon. But we’re now just in a transitional period and we need more oil to be able to do so. And I’m also going to remind people that our habits are changing.” But not his habit of reminding people of things. Such as that thing about how we’re in a transitional period so we need to use more oil to use less oil. Or something.

WHAT GEORGE FULLY UNDERSTANDS AND WHAT HE WANTS AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND FULLY (HE’S THE FULLY UNDERSTANDERER): “I mean, nobody likes high gasoline prices, and I fully understand why Americans are concerned about gasoline prices. But I want them to understand fully that we have got the opportunity to find more crude oil here at home, in environmentally friendly ways, and they ought to be writing their Congress people about it, and they ought to say, you ought to be opening up ANWR and Outer Continental Shelf, and increasing oil shale exploration, for the sake of our consumers, as well as become less dependent on oil.” Again, drilling for more oil so we can use less oil.

AND IN CONCLUSION, WHAT GEORGE HOPES: “Listen, thank you very much. I’ve enjoyed being with you. I hope you’ve enjoyed being with me. You have? Thank you.”

Bush in the UK: Waiting for somebody rational to show up

Bush held a press conference with Gordon Brown this morning. And, oh sure, I could illustrate this post with pictures of George Bush and Gordon Brown.



Yeah, cuz that’s so exciting. Or I could use pictures of Bush playing basketball with a bunch of little girls in Belfast. They trounced him soundly; he made zero out of four shots.



He appalled Europeans with this threat: “By the way, some are speculating this is my last trip. Let them speculate. Who knows?”

WHAT THE FIRST THING ABOUT GORDON BROWN IS: “First thing about Gordon Brown, he’s tough on terror, and I appreciate it”.



WHAT THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION OF HISTORY IS GOING TO LOOK BACK ON IT IS: “The fundamental question of history is going to look back on it, is did we understand the duty that we’ve been called to do, to protect ourselves and hope others?”

Incidentally, today he’s not saying that history won’t be able to judge him at all for forty years, but that “History will judge the tactics. History will judge whether or not, you know, more troops were needed earlier, troops could have been positioned here better or not. Removing Saddam Hussein was not wrong.” So, a note to historians: confine your analysis to Bush’s tactics. Last night, by the way, Brown invited some real historians to dinner with Bush: Martin Gilbert, Simon Schama and David Cannadine. The mind boggles.



TRYING TO DISTANCE THIS, THAT, AND THE OTHER: “No, I know there’s a lot of discussion here in the British press about, well, you know, is there going to be enough troops, or not enough troops, and all that business; is he trying to distance this, that and the other -- it’s just typical.” Also typical: naked page three girls.



THE WHO CARES POSITION: “Hopefully the Iranian leadership will take a different position then the one they’ve taken in the past, which is basically, who cares what the free world says, we’re going to -- we’ll go our own way.” And we know how George hates unilateralism.

GEORGE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD QUALMS MEANS: “We have no qualms with the Iranian people.” (Update: Simon Hoggart thinks he was actually saying quarrels, which he pronounces “kwarls.”)



WHAT WE EXPECT: “And so my message at the G8 is: Looking forward to working with you; thanks for coming to the meeting -- just remember, there are people needlessly dying on the continent of Africa today, and we expect you to be more than pledge-makers. We expect you to be check-writers for humanitarian reasons.”



BE IN MORE CHARGE: “And so, give the Iraqis more responsibility. Let them take more -- be in more charge of their own security and their own government, and that’s what’s happening.”



WHAT THE KEY THING IS (BLITHERING INCOHERENCE, EVIDENTLY): “And so, you know, I mean -- look, the key thing for me is that I have -- you know, is that Gordon shares with me his plans. He listens to -- he talks to his commanders and he picks up the phone and says, here’s what we’re thinking. So there’s no surprises.”

WHAT HE CALLS PAKISTAN: “Pak”



SO IT WAS ALL WORTH IT: “The strategic implications of a free Iraq are significant for our future. For example, a free Iraq will make it easier to deal with the Iranian issue.”

THERE IS SOME: “there is some who say that perhaps freedom is not universal. Maybe it’s only Western people that can self-govern. Maybe it’s only, you know, white-guy Methodists who are capable of self government.” Dude, we’ve seen you play basketball...



“And it’ll bring peace to the Middle East, unless of course we become isolationist”. Increasingly, he is describing opponents of his failed foreign policy as if they are following this discredited ideology of isolationism, as if they oppose the US exercising any influence at all in the world, as opposed to exercising it in the direction of crapification.



I MEAN IN OTHER WORDS: “I mean, in other words, they [North Korea] are -- we’ll see what they disclose, but we hopefully are in the process of disabling and dismantling their plutonium manufacturing.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “you know, let’s send a focused message all aiming to create the conditions so that somebody rational shows up. In other words, people hopefully are sick of isolation in their respective countries, and they show up and say, we’re tired of this; there’s a better way forward.”

WHAT HE’D SAY IF HE WERE THE IRANIANS OR THE NORTH KOREANS: “So if I were the North Koreans and I were looking at Iran, or the Iranians looking at North Korea, I’d say, uh-oh, there are coalitions coming together that are bound tightly -- more tightly than ever in order to send us a focused message.”


A focused message.