The Last Presidential Debate: We can’t kill our way out of this mess

Transcript.

(Note written half-way through: I’m tempted to remove all indicators of who said what and let you guess, maybe have a quiz, watch the hilarity ensue.)

The questions start with fucking Benghazi, which is so inconsequential in the context of, you know, the world, and global foreign policy, that I am so fucking sick of hearing about this shiny-object issue.

R: an attack in Benghazi by “terrorists of some kind”

R on the Middle East: “we can’t kill our way out of this mess.” We’d have to change the national slogan from “Killing Our Way Out of This Mess Since 1776.”

I had to look back at the transcript to figure out what “this mess” meant. It’s evidently his term for the entire Middle East.

R: My strategy is to “go after the bad guys” (He’s totally into the bad boys) “to interrupt them...” Well, he’s good at that. “... to kill them.” In other words, to kill our way out of this mess.

He also wants to “get the Muslim world to be able to reject extremism on its own.” Just like he did the Republican Party.

O: “And the 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back because, you know, the Cold War’s been over for 20 years.” How are the 1980s calling us, anyway? It would be extremely weird if the 1980s were tweeting at us.

Hey, Barack, 2007 called, it wants its sitcom meme back.

BUT IT SURE IS FUN: R: “attacking me is not an agenda.”

O: “I am confident that Assad’s days are numbered.” So he’s not immortal? Good to know.

R: “Syria’s an opportunity for us.” Yeah, that’s how Syrians want to hear we think about them.

Oh, it gets better. He talks about organizing the “responsible” parties in Syria. And then arming them. They can call themselves the “Armed and Responsible Party.” And he wants a “council.”

Both of them say we need to coordinate our Syria policy with Israel, which a) paints the Syrian opposition as puppets of Israel, b) suggests that it’s legitimate for Israel (as well as the US) to intervene to shape Syria’s future government. What “responsible” Syrians could work with people who think that?

O says we went into Libya and “immediately stop[ped] the massacre there”. Is that how he remembers it?

O: “Moammar Gadhafi had more American blood on his hands than any individual other than Osama bin Laden.” Unless you count George Bush.

R has mentioned “responsible” parties in Syria like thirty times now. No one is asking him to define his terms.

R: “But unfortunately, in nowhere in the world is America’s influence greater today than it was four years ago.” Because nothing said American influence like the reaction of world leaders when they heard that George Bush was on the phone.

I thought this was supposed to be the foreign policy debate, but evidently they’ve gotten bored with the rest of the world.

O: “Now, keep in mind that our military spending has gone up every single year that I’ve been in office. We spend more on our military than the next 10 countries combined -- China, Russia, France, the United -- United Kingdom, you name it, next 10.” And this was a good idea because...?

Romney says our navy is smaller than at any time since 1917. Wasn’t it 1916 in the last debate? Is this a Lusitania thing? Oh, and the air force is “older and smaller” than it was in 1947.

O notes that we also have fewer horses and bayonets. Instantly wins that exchange.

O adds that it’s “not a game of Battleship where we’re counting ships.” Navy Secretary... who the fuck is the navy secretary?... Ray Mabus... must be feeling very dejected right about now. Dude lives for a good game of Battleship.

O brags about “crippling” Iran’s economy.

R is against not only a nuclear Iran but also a “nuclear-capable Iran,” which is a term that means pretty much whatever we want it to mean, justifying attacking them whenever we feel like attacking them.

R also appreciates “crippling” sanctions. Because you can’t have enough cripples.

R would “indict” Ahmadinejad for genocide incitation. Did you know the president of the United States could indict the president of Iran? It’s right there in the Constitution, probably. Indeed, did you know that you can indict people for genocide who have committed no genocide? Me neither.

O: “You know, there have been times, Governor, frankly, during the course of this campaign, where it sounded like you thought that you’d do the some things we did, but you’d say them louder and somehow that that would make a difference.” Also, more dickishly.

Apology tour! Drink!!

R: my crippling sanctions will be more crippling than his crippling sanctions.

R on the apology tour: “You said that on occasion America had dictated to other nations. Mr. President, America has not dictated to other nations. We have freed other nations from dictators.” And from democracies. And from many of their citizens being alive. Because we’re all about the freeing.

O. says when he went to Israel, it wasn’t a fundraising tour. Another reasonably good response that he could have come up with a few months ago. And he went to the Holocaust museum, and totally bought a t-shirt in the gift shop, so don’t tell him he doesn’t love Israel.

R: “I look around the world, I don’t see our influence growing around the world. I see our influence receding”. For example, our influence around the world would be greater if our relations with Israel were better. Because Israel is the most beloved country in the world.

O says it was a good idea to kill bin Laden because he met some girl whose father was in the Twin Towers, and killing bin Laden brought closure to her. Obama is all about bringing closure to teenage girls.

That came out creepy in a way I didn’t intend.

Asked what he’d do if in 2014 Afghanistan weren’t ready to handle its own security, Romney totally rejects the premise. Unpossible! Asked what he’d do if Netanyahu called up and said his planes were on their way to bomb Iran, Romney totally rejects the premise. Unpossible!

O: “there’s no reason why Americans should die when Afghans are perfectly capable of defending their own country.” That probably sounded better in the original LBJ.

Actually, it didn’t.

R. looooves him some drones.

O. stopped China from flooding us with cheap tires. I’m pretty sure that was the plot of a Fu Manchu movie.

R: China has 20 million people coming out of the farms every year. And you thought they just grew rice.

R: we can be a partner with China. “Now, they look at us and say, is it a good idea to be with America?” It’s because we’re fat, isn’t it?

China counterfeited some valves! Nuke them!

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Let’s check the record.

MR. ROMNEY: That’s the height of silliness.

ROMNEY: “I’m still speaking.” Drink!

In the foreign policy debate, both closing statements were entirely about domestic issues.

Two references to George Bush in the entire debate, one by each candidate (fewer than the number of times Romney brought up Mali or used the phrase “spinning centrifuges”), and both of those references were on economic issues. American foreign policy began in 2009.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

I hope you make it very clear

So I first saw a general mention that Mittens had told some business dudes to tell their employees to vote for him, and made a mental note of what I wanted to write about that, but it was premised on a mistake on my part. That mistake: underestimating Romney’s dickishness. Odd that I should still be making that mistake at this stage, but some things are just too big to wrap your head entirely around, and Romney’s dickishness is one of them.

I was going to say that it just showed Twitt’s inability to understand the true relationship between Americans and their bosses that he thought that employees so respected their bosses and were so eager for instruction from their social superiors etc etc.

But in fact, once I saw his actual words, I realized that he understood perfectly that the employer-employee relationship is based on economic and extra-economic coercion: “I hope you make it very clear to your employees what you believe is in the best interest of your enterprise and therefore their job and their future in the upcoming elections.” No, there is no part of the dynamic he recommends here that involves respect in either direction. The employer just makes it “very clear” what he expects his workers to do, if they want to keep their job and their future, and the employees don’t have to respect their boss, they just have to eat his shit; in this case, the shit happens to be man-sized and Mormon.

There’s another problematic word in that sentence I’d like to highlight: “in the best interest of your enterprise and THEREFORE their job”. There’s no therefore about it. Romney likes to describe his economic policies as being about jobs jobs jobs, but they are actually about expanding corporate profits. As the history of American capitalism and Bain Capital show, if a corporation can increase their profits by employing more people, they’ll do it, but if it can do so through mechanization or off-shoring, they’ll do that.

In the writing of this post, I spent several seconds carefully deliberating between the words “dickishness” and “prickishness.” When you have a blog, these are the kinds of decisions you have to make every single day.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Presidential debate: I brought us whole binders full of women

Transcript.

Let’s begin with a quote from Oscar Wilde, whose birthday this is: “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”

The audience at this debate consists of undecided voters. If you saw the season premiere of The Walking Dead, undecided voters are like that but with slightly better hygiene.

Some nervous Jewish college student named Jeremy, who really looks like a Jeremy, asks if he’ll ever have a job. Mittens lies about Pell Grants, then says he knows what it takes to create jobs. Jeremy is thinking “a job, I only want one fucking job.” Obama says he wants to build industrial jobs. I don’t think nervous Jewish college boy was thinking of working on an assembly line, riveting bumpers on Buicks.

Obama is trying to look interested and attentive while Romney is speaking. Actually looks pained.

“What Gov. Romney said just isn’t true.” In debate prep, they had to hit him with electric jolts 23 times before they got him to say that.

Obama says we need to move to energy independence, an impossibility I thought only Republicans talked about. Drill, baby, drill!

Romney says Obama stopped oil drilling in North Dakota because of migratory birds. Dude just does not like birds, Big or otherwise. Says Obama “has not been Mr. Oil or Mr. Gas or Mr. Coal.” (Insert birth certificate joke here.) Says he’ll make North America energy independent in 8 years. Every Mexican and Canadian just shivered without quite knowing why. Mitt Romney just declared himself True Czar of All the Americas.

“very little of what Gov. Romney just said was true.”

Obama: “clean coal technology.” Sigh. Oh lord, he gets into a who-loves-coal-more contest with Romney: “I hear Governor Romney say he’s a big coal guy... when you were governor of Massachusetts, you stood in front of a coal plant and pointed at it and said, this plant kills, and took great pride in shutting it down. And now suddenly you’re a big champion of coal.” Romney has done, like, two or three decent things in his entire life, and Obama shits on one of them. Is Obama saying coal plants don’t kill?

IS OBAMA SAYING THEY DON’T?

Romney: “I appreciate wind jobs in Iowa.” I think that’s like blow jobs, but with corn, somehow.

Romney is sitting on that stool almost as if he’d practiced it.

Wait, Romney knows how much a gallon of gas costs?

Romney says something about a “bucket, if you will, of deductions.” Can I deduct my bucket?

Romney doing the smirk thing.

Obama nicely and more or less accurately describes how Romney’s plans will drive up the deficit, because the deficit is the only fucking thing that fucking matters. Says Mittens can’t name what deductions he’ll close. Not won’t, can’t. Says the only things Romney has said he will cut to make up for it all is PBS and Planned Parenthood. While he speaks, the Mittenssmirk reaches unprecedented levels of smugness.

Romney: “of course they [R’s numbers] add up.”

R: “This puts us on a road to Greece.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen one more than a few minutes of one of those Hope-Crosby movies.

Romney walks closer and closer to Candy as he refuses her entreaties to stop talking when his time runs out.

R on sex equality in the workplace: In Massachusetts “I brought us whole binders full of women.” That’s a Mormon thing, probably.

He adds that “I recognized that if you’re going to have women in the workforce...” If! “...that sometimes they need to be more flexible.” So they can do their domestic chores with no help from their husbands, like God intended.

Romney is repeating the word economy over and over until it loses all meaning.

Obama says he wants gender equality because he has two daughters, and all Romney has is stinky boys.

R. says he thinks every woman should have access to contraceptives and that employers shouldn’t have a veto on that. Oooo-kay.

R: “President Bush and I are different people.” Prove it.

By the way, New York Magazine says George Bush now spends his time “painting, making portraits of dogs and arid Texas landscapes.” Finger-painting with his own feces, one imagines.

Obama says Romney looooves China, he wants to marry China, he’s investing in companies selling surveillance equipment to China. “You’re the last person who’s going to get tough on China.”

O says R much worse than Bush, he’s “gone to a more extreme place when it comes to social policy”.

Wait, bald black guy who says he voted for Obama in 2008 asks why he deserves his vote in 2012. That’s it? Of all the questions from all the audience members, that vague nothingburger made the cut?

R supports immigration because his father was born in Mexico and came here. His father was an American citizen, it’s not the same fucking thing.

Romney says Obama has money in the Caymans too. Candy wonders out loud what this has to do with immigration.

Candy just told Mitt to sit down.

Obama (re Benghazi): “While we were still dealing with our diplomats being threatened, Governor Romney put out a press release trying to make political points. And that’s not how a commander in chief operates. You don’t turn national security into a political issue”. Obama hasn’t really been paying attention for a very long time now, has he?

The problem here is that he was asked about what he did about embassy security before the attacks, not what he’ll do now (which, in case you were wondering, is find out who was responsible and make sure it never happens again).

“Apology tour”! Drink!

IT WAS ON THE TIP OF HIS TONGUE: “because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror.”

Asked about gun violence, Romney says that automatic weapons are already illegal in the US (they’re not), then blames gun violence on single-parent families. “But gosh, to tell our kids that before they have babies, they ought to think about getting married to someone...” Unless it’s someone of the same sex, obvs. “...So we can make changes in the way our culture works to help bring people away from violence and give them opportunity and bring them in the American system.” Oh, I think violence pretty much is the American system.

If I understand that correctly, Romney will hand out a free AK-47 with every marriage license.

But “the greatest failure we’ve had with regards to gun violence, in some respects, is what is known as Fast and Furious”. Unless you count the weekly massacres this summer, every one of which, I believe, was carried out with legally purchased firearms.

O: “I think Governor Romney was for an assault weapons ban before he was against it.”

R starts repeating “government does not create jobs,” which is odd because he keeps promising to create 12 million of them.

47%! Drink!

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Romney on abortion

Romney’s campaign says he is “proudly pro-life.” In fact, the question of whether he was playing down his extremist core convictions when he was trying to get ahead in Massachusetts politics, or is playing down his moderate core convictions to get ahead in the wacky/wacko world of the national Republican Party today, well the clue to answering that question was that you all started giggling when I used the phrase “core convictions” about Mittens.

He is pretty clearly expediently pro-life rather than dogmatically pro-life. Women’s rights to control their bodies are something he’s happy to sacrifice for his personal advancement, or not, as the political environment calls for. Women’s uteruses are just pawns to him, which may be the least appetizing imagery ever to appear in this blog.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Caption contest I’ll probably regret

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Hope is not a strategry

Today Mitt Romney gave a “foreign policy speech” at the Virginia Military Institute, because nothing says Republican foreign policy like enunciating it in front of future cannon fodder.

DRAMATIC OPENING: “Last month, our nation was attacked again.” If by “our nation” you mean a consulate in Libya.

“The attacks against us in Libya were not an isolated incident. They were accompanied by anti-American riots in nearly two dozen other countries”. Some of which could in no way be fairly characterized as riots, but were in fact demonstrations, you know, people peacefully expressing their opinions.

REMEMBER, BLACK THINGS ARE ALWAYS BAD: “These mobs hoisted the black banner of Islamic extremism over American embassies on the anniversary of the September 11th attacks.”

WHAT THE ATTACKS ON AMERICA SHOULD NOT BE SEEN AS: “The attacks on America last month should not be seen as random acts. They are expressions of a larger struggle that is playing out across the broader Middle East”

LEAVE “INNOCENCE OF MUSLIMS” ALOOOONE! “This latest assault cannot be blamed on a reprehensible video insulting Islam, despite the Administration’s attempts to convince us of that for so long. No, as the Administration has finally conceded, these attacks were the deliberate work of terrorists who use violence to impose their dark ideology on others, especially women and girls...” Cough. “...who are fighting to control much of the Middle East today; and who seek to wage perpetual war on the West.” Actually, they probably seek to win the war. Why would they want to wage perpetual war? It’s this sort of insight into the minds of Islamic militants that’s been missing since George Bush skipped off the world stage.

Evidently this war is exactly like the Cold War. It’s a perfect analogy. “Fortunately, we had leaders of courage and vision, both Republicans and Democrats, who knew that America had to support friends who shared our values”. For Greek generals, read Saudi princes.

IN ENTERPRISE OF MARTIAL KIND,
WHEN THERE WAS ANY FIGHTING,
HE LED HIS REGIMENT FROM BEHIND (HE FOUND IT LESS EXCITING).
BUT WHEN AWAY HIS REGIMENT RAN, HIS PLACE WAS AT THE FORE, O...
“But it is our responsibility and the responsibility of the President to use America’s great power to shape history, not to lead from behind, leaving our destiny at the mercy of events.”

GREAT STRAINS: “The relationship between the president of the United States and the prime minister of Israel, for example, our closest ally in the region, has suffered great strains.” That’s rather ambiguous: is it Israel, or the Israeli prime minister, who is our closest ally? Because they’re not the same thing, as much as Bibi admittedly resembles Louis XIV.

AND HOW CLOSE IS THAT? “Iran today has never been closer to a nuclear weapons capability.”

BECAUSE IF THERE’S ONE THING THAT ALWAYS INFLUENCED EVENTS FOR THE BETTER IN IRAQ, IT’S US MILITARY OCCUPATION: “In Iraq the costly gains made by our troops are being eroded by rising violence, a resurgent al-Qaida, the weakening of democracy in Baghdad and the rising influence of Iran. And yet America’s ability to influence events for the better in Iraq has been undermined by the abrupt withdrawal of our entire troop presence.”

WHAT HOPE IS NOT: “I know the president hopes for a safer, freer and more prosperous Middle East allied with us. I share this hope. But hope is not a strategy.”

I CAN’T BE THE ONLY PERSON WHO, EVERY TIME I HEAR THE PHRASE “BEDROCK PRINCIPLES,” MUTTERS “YABBA DABBA DO” UNDER MY BREATH: “It is time to change course in the Middle East. That course should be organized around these bedrock principles: America must have confidence in our cause, clarity in our purpose and resolve in our might.” So hope is not a strategy but confidence, clarity and resolve are.

THAT WORD PEACE, I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS: “For the sake of peace, we must make clear to Iran through actions, not just words, that their nuclear pursuit will not be tolerated.”

I’M NOT A NAVAL EXPERT, BUT I’M GUESSING THIS COMPARISON IS A LITTLE MISLEADING: “The size of our Navy is at levels not seen since 1916.” He wants to build 12 ships and 3 submarines every year, in case we need to fight pirates or Captain Nemo or something.

HEY, MAYBE WE CAN USE CLEAN COAL IN THOSE EFFECTIVE MISSILE DEFENSES: “I’ll implement effective missile defenses to protect against threats.”

“The president has not signed one new free trade agreement in the past four years.” I’m guessing the Romney people will say that the word “new” makes this not a lie, since the three Obama signed were all ones Bush failed to get ratified.

Romney goes on to describe (without any actual details) how he will magically create democracy and freedom in Libya and Egypt. And in Syria, “I’ll work with our partners to identify and organize those members of the opposition who share our values and then ensure they obtain the arms they need to defeat Assad’s tanks helicopters and fighter jets.” Ignoring for a moment the question of whether it’s wise to dump anti-aircraft missiles willy nilly into the Middle East, does anyone doubt that one of, if not the only, “partner” with whom he’ll be picking winners and losers in Syria is Israel? And does anyone doubt how announcing his intention to do so will go over in Syria?

He says overthrowing Assad is important because it would be a “strategic defeat” for Iran. Syria will no doubt be pleased that Mitt’s interest in their country is merely a by-product of his wish to cock a snook at the mullahs.

He says that Obama has failed in Israeli-Palestinian negotiations, which is true, although not for presence of trying. “In this old conflict, as in every challenge we face in the Middle East, only a new president will bring the chance to begin anew.” Because it’s all about us.

WHAT THERE’S A LONGING FOR IN THE MIDDLE EAST: “There’s a longing for American leadership in the Middle East”. Also for halvah, for some reason.

Really, just who is it in the Middle East who’s longing for American leadership? Names, I want names.

Throughout the speech, he talks about leading and leadership: “if America doesn’t lead, others will,” Obama “leads from behind” and “failed to lead in Syria,” etc. He’s vague on what that leading would actually consist of, beyond a lot of asserting principles. It’s the foreign policy equivalent of his line at that fundraiser about the economy improving if he’s elected without his actually doing anything. The only specific things he promises involve military hardware: more ships, Star Wars, weapons to Syrian rebels.

BIG FINISH: “The 21st century can and must be an American century. It began with terror and war and economic calamity. It’s our duty to steer it onto the path of freedom and peace and prosperity. The torch America carries is one of decency and hope. It’s not America’s torch alone, but it is America’s duty and honor to hold it high enough that all the world can see its light.” As we carry that torch of decency and hope into the Middle East where it will ignite the oil-fire of decency and hope.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Presidential debate: Zing, zing, zing goes my heartstrings

Mitt has a bigger flag lapel. That means he automatically wins the debate.

THE ROM-COM BEGINS: Romney says it’s very sweet of Obama to spend his anniversary with him.

First zinger™, I guess: Mittens says O. believes in “trickle-down government.”

Oh dear, Romney’s going to be smirking on the split-screen every time O. is talking.

R. says middle-class income drop is an “economy tax.” Guess he’ll just keep dropping made-up phrases on us.

R. says food prices are up. This would be a perfect moment for Jim Lehrer to ask him how much a gallon of milk costs. Waiting... waiting...

Evidently, the middle class are being “crushed.”

R: “I like coal.”

No tax cut that adds to the deficit.

Romney compares Obama to his “boys,” who are evidently incredible liars and just keep repeating their lies.

Wondering where Romney’s sons learned to lie like that?

Obama: R. would cut Donald Trump’s taxes as a small business, and Donald Trump doesn’t like thinking of himself as small anything. TrumpZing!

Donald Trump is a HUGE douche.

Mittens: I don’t want to cut jobs (he was for cutting jobs before he was against it).

R. likes Big Bird and Jim Lehrer, but he’ll sell PBS to the Chinese, who will stir-fry both of them.

So Romney will eliminate the deficit by ending Obamacare and PBS and nothing else he cares to name.

R: “I don’t want to go down the path to Spain.”

R on Solyndra: you don’t pick the winners & losers, you pick the losers. Zing!

O. talks about his grandmother who worked hard and blah blah blah, and could continue living independently because Social Security and Medicare guaranteed that there was a floor under which she could not go. Romney would totally put Obama’s grandmother under the floor.

R: “Try and get a mortgage these days.”

R: “Expensive things hurt families.”

O: “Obamacare says insurance companies can’t jerk you around.”

R. accuses O. of having continued working on Obamacare even after Scott Brown was elected, which was clearly a rebuke by the entire nation of the very idea.

O. says there isn’t a better way of dealing with pre-existing conditions than O-care. Um, I can think of a better way.

O: Is R. keeping his plans so secret because they’re too good?

I think that was a trick question.

Romney says Obamacare violates the 10th Amendment. Somewhere, Rick Perry just got an erection.

R: “I love great schools.”

R says the federal gov has no role in education. A minute later, Lehrer asks if the federal gov has a role in education; R. says yes.

O says R genuinely cares about education, but offers no proof.

R says the money O spent on green energy (which he then suggests was to reward O’s campaign contributors) could have paid for a bunch of teachers. Who R would never pay for.

Well, that was as interesting as it was informative and I need to lie down now.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Romney and the Dependents of Doom

Romney went on Fox today in yet more damage control. He says he’s not really writing off the 47% (except on his taxes, ha!): “we go after every group we can to get votes.” Interesting that he thinks of voters as “groups.”

He says, more in sorrow than in anger, that he just won’t be able to get the votes of “those that are dependent upon government,” which is not a condescending way to describe people collecting entitlements at all.

He says his policies will give people “the privilege of higher incomes that allow them to be paying taxes,” as opposed to those with the privilege of super-high incomes that allow them to pay no taxes.

He repeated the bit about the 47% who “pay no tax” not responding to his message about lowering taxes. That’s nonsense, because this line of his has always been a, for lack of a better term, double dog whistle. See, the rich people hearing that line know that he shares their contempt for the poors, while the lower class all know that they do, in fact, pay taxes (there’s a reason Mitt leaves off “income” before “tax”), so Mitt must be talking about someone else, you know, those people.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

The worst thing about Romney’s remarks

and the three-question press conference slash damage control session tonight, in which he said he was just talking about “process” at the fundraiser, was how he consistently states that people’s voting behaviour will be based entirely on their personal economic self-interest, not on their ideals, not on the public good. It’s a very impoverished view of democracy, viewing people’s relationship with their government as a strictly financial interaction.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Distractions

WaPo headline: “Romney Campaign Faces Distractions.” Is Romney speaking honestly distracting from Romney lying?

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Wait...

was Romney disparaging people who expect free stuff... at a fundraiser?

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

It’s amazing how many times we get to say

all right, TODAY is the day Romney lost the election.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

A lot of things that aren’t accurate

Yesterday (but airing today), George Stephanopoulos interviewed Romney.

Walking slightly back his attack on the tweets by the US embassy in Cairo, he now suggests the problem isn’t that they were issued after the attack on the embassy as he first falsely claimed, but that they “stayed up on their website for, I think, 14-15 hours.” So he’s complaining that while mobs were attacking the embassy, the embassy staff wasn’t editing its Twitter account.

He suggests that he said the statement (tweet) was “inappropriate” (I seem to recall that the actual word he used was “disgraceful”) and that the White House also thought it was “inappropriate” (although he initially attributed it to “the Obama administration,” which by the transitive property states that the White House condemned itself, in total agreement with Romney’s condemnation of it. Who said there’s no agreement in politics any more?

Mittens repeats the word “inappropriate” over and over (including “not appropriate,” 9 times during the interview), and can I just say how annoying I find the use of that condescending, nanny-scold word by pretty much fucking everyone?

He says that Obama’s comment that Romney “shoots first and aims later” is just “politics.” As opposed to whatever it is he thinks he’s been doing.

He says he never intends to see Ed Wood’s Life of Brian and “the idea of using something that some people consider sacred and then parading that out a negative way is...” wait for it.... “simply inappropriate and wrong.” And fuck you Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

He thinks people should never offend other peoples’ faiths. As opposed to knocking at their doors at dinner time to tell them that their religion is wrong and would you like a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

He wants “to bring Egypt closer to us. I think it’s important for them to understand that it’s an advantage to have a close relationship with the United States”. Just ask Mubarak, the dictator we armed and help keep in power for decades. Egypt, he says, “is the heart of the Arab world.” Except for not being Arabs. And he wants to keep them as an ally, by which he means, “I would do virtually everything in my power to make sure they understand what the requirements are to remain an ally of the United States”. Funny how the “requirements” are all on one side.

Asked what his “red line” would be for Iran (another country for whom the requirements are all on one side), he says “Well, my red line is Iran may not have a nuclear weapon. It is...” wait for it... “inappropriate for them to have the capacity to terrorize the world.” UnfitMitt (© Watertiger, I think) doesn’t seem to understand what everyone else means by red lines in this context, which is the steps well shy of having a nuclear weapon (centrifuges, enrichment to a certain level, etc) that would cause us to attack.

He says he wouldn’t reappoint Ben Bernanke. Of course Bernanke’s term doesn’t expire until 2014, so that could get a little awkward.

He won’t raise taxes on middle-income people, which he helpfully defines for us as “$200,000 to $250,000 and less.”

He refuses to say which deductions he’d eliminate because “I’ve found that you have to work with the people across the aisle. ... So if I’d have come out and said, ‘Here this is my bill. This is the way I want it,’ you’d never get it done. You lay out your principles.” So he’s laying out principles rather than a plan, except he earlier referred to it as “my plan... my tax plan... my plan”.

Little George brings up a stupid poll question ABC asked, “Who would you rather have dinner with?” No one wants to have dinner with Mittens, probably because they find unicorn meat to be too gamey. George asks what dinner would be like at the Romney home, and evidently it involves his grandchildren climbing all over you and throwing food across the table, like anyone believes Mittens would tolerate that sort of behaviour for a minute. But note that in his attempt to make himself more likeable, he doesn’t say a thing about himself but about the genetically perfect clone-babies.

What will Obama do to him during the debates? “Well I think he’s going to say a lot of things that aren’t accurate. ... But I think the challenge that I’ll have in the debate is that the president tends to, how shall I say it...” Yes, Mitt, how will you say it? “...to say things that aren’t true.”

During debates, Ann is always in the front row, “I look and see her. Typically, her eyes are down. She’s more nervous in the debates than I am.” And certainly not from shame at all.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

I don’t think that we ever hesitate

Twitt Romney spoke this morning (always a mistake).

ESPECIALLY ANN: “OH, I’M STILL MARRIED TO THAT DOUCHE: “Americans woke up this morning with tragic news”.

He refers to the “attack in our embassy in Benghazi,” suggesting he’s still not paying much attention to the actual facts (it was the consulate).

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IF AMERICA WILL TOLERATE ATTACKS AGAINST OUR CITIZENS AND OUR EMBASSIES (AND CONSULATES): “America will not tolerate attacks against our citizens and our embassies.”

WHAT HE HAVE CONFIDENCE IN: “We have confidence in our cause of America.”

SPEAKING OF STANDING BY STATEMENTS... “I also believe the administration was wrong to stand by a statement sympathizing with those who had breached our embassy in Egypt instead of condemning their actions.” This is a Dubya-like inability to admit having gotten even the tiniest thing just the tiniest bit wrong.

DUNNO, I’M NOT A MORNING PERSON MYSELF: “It’s never too early for The United States government to condemn attacks on Americans and to defend our values.”

SPEAKING OF SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL... “America leadership is necessary to ensure that events in the region don’t spin out of control.”

THAT’S A LONG FUCKING SPRING: “Over the last several years we’ve stood witness to an Arab Spring...”

SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE KEY WORD IN THIS NEXT BIT: “...that presents an opportunity for a more peaceful and prosperous region but it also possess the potential for peril if the voices of extremism and violence are allowed to control the course of events.” The key word is “allowed.” By us.


SO HE’S AGAINST SEASONS NOW: “We must strive to ensure that the Arab Spring does not become an Arab Winter.”

Then he condemned the US embassy in Egypt for its tweet against Ed Wood’s Life of Brian. They “stand in apology for our values. ...An apology for America’s values is never the right course.” To be fair, stupid, offensive films kind of are our values. He later called the embassy’s or possibly the administration’s statements on the film “disgraceful.”

Did he maybe just a little jump the gun yesterday, speaking before he had all the facts? “I don’t think that we ever hesitate when we see something which is a violation of our principles.”


HEY, HIS FOREIGN POLICY HAS THREE BRANCHES. JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T THINK IT HAD BRANCHES AND WAS JUST A BUNCH OF SLOGANS: “I think president Obama has demonstrated a lack of clarity as to the foreign policy. My foreign policy has three fundamental branches. First, confidence in our cause, a recognition that the principles America was based upon are not something we shrink from or apologize for. That we stand for those principles. The second is clarity in our purpose, which is that when we have a foreign policy objective we describe it honestly and clearly to the American people, to Congress and to the people of the world. And number three is resolve in our might.”

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

The first response of the United States must be outrage

Romney on the killings of the ambassador to Libya and others: “When our grounds are being attacked, being breached, the first response of the United States must be outrage.”

Evidently, as the rest of his remarks indicate, the first response of the United States must be outrage against Barack Obama.

Prick.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Romney’s acceptance speech: To do the really big stuff, you need an American

Transcript (as prepared, but I don’t think any quote I’m using varies by more than a word or two).

LESS SINCERE WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN: “I wish President Obama had succeeded because I want America to succeed.”

SOLES, SOULS, SEE WHAT I DID THERE? “The soles of Neil Armstrong’s boots on the moon made permanent impressions on OUR souls.”

WELL, WHEN THE WORLD NEEDS SOMEONE TO EAT THE REALLY BIG STUFF: “And I don’t doubt for a second that Neil Armstrong’s spirit is still with us: that unique blend of optimism, humility and the utter confidence that when the world needs someone to do the really big stuff, you need an American.”


SO EVERYONE IS MORE QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT THAN OBAMA, IS WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. “[Obama] took office without the basic qualification that most Americans have and one that was essential to his task. He had almost no experience working in a business. Jobs to him are about government.” You know, it’s not just that some of the worst presidents – Hoover, Bush – have had plenty of bidness experience, but how much of it did Eisenhower have? Reagan? Nixon?

THE CENTERPIECE: “the centerpiece of the President’s entire re-election campaign is attacking success. ... In America, we celebrate success, we don’t apologize for it.” Yeah, don’t know how you do things in Kenya...

OBAMA MUST WAKE UP EVERY MORNING BASKING IN THE GLOW OF ROMNEY’S GOOD-FAITH SUPPORT: “America has been patient. Americans have supported this president in good faith.”


I HOPE HE PUTS ON OLD CLOTHES BEFORE HE GOES OUT TO ASSAULT COAL AND GAS AND OIL: “His assault on coal and gas and oil will send energy and manufacturing jobs to China”.

OH SURE, LIKE HE’D LET YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ONTO HIS ARK: “President Obama promised to slow the rise of the oceans and to heal the planet. MY promise... is to help you and your family.” (The audience laughed at “rise of the oceans” like they’d never heard anything so crazy in their lives.)

THERE’S A GILLIGAN’S ISLAND JOKE IN HERE SOMEWHERE. NOT A GOOD JOKE, BUT IT’S IN THERE. “I will begin my presidency with a jobs tour. President Obama began with an apology tour.”

YEAH, I ALWAYS GET THOSE TWO MIXED UP TOO. “America, he said, had dictated to other nations. No, Mr. President, America has freed other nations from dictators.”


WHY IS THE METAPHOR ALWAYS THAT ISRAEL IS BEING THROWN UNDER THE BUS? “President Obama has thrown allies like Israel under the bus, even as he has relaxed sanctions on Castro’s Cuba.”

BECAUSE PUTIN WILL TEAR YOUR SPINE OUT WITH HIS BARE HANDS? “Under my administration, our friends will see more loyalty, and Mr. Putin will see a little less flexibility and more backbone.”

PROBABLY IN THE FUTURE: “That future is out there.” Can the future be described spatially like that?

CAN THE FUTURE BE SAID TO WAIT? I GOTTA RE-READ “A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME.” “It is waiting for us.”

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

Epitome

Orrin Hatch told C-SPAN: “Mitt Romney’s the epitome of what Mormon males should be.”

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

I’ve thought of something good to say about Mitt Romney

Unlike oh, say, Sarah Palin, after he loses in November we will never hear from him again.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

The saddest words ever spoken

Romney: “You know, all I can do is be what I am.”

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.

It’s the granny-eyed zombie-starver, or something

My observations on the announcement of Paul Ryan: There’s something deeply weird about a chant of “Mitt Mitt Mitt Mitt.”

That is all.

Don't see comments? Click on the post title to view or post comments.