Saturday, January 04, 2003

Baby Jesus butt plugs


John Edwards announces he is running for president. This may be the last you ever hear from him. He says he wants to be a “champion for regular people.” So I guess none of us will be voting for him. Guardian headline: “Millionaire Lawyer Aims to be President for ‘Regular Folks’.”

See the 1/3/03 Doonesbury for a useful concept: “comfort arrests.”

The body of a murdered prostitute in Britain is identified through her breast and butt implants. You don’t want to know why fingerprints and dental records were no help.

Butt implants was a new concept to me. But see www.betterbuttocks.com.

www.furnitureporn.com

The US military claims it can pursue people from Afghanistan into Pakistan. Pakistan says like hell.

Didn’t the Bay Guardian’s “Offies” used to be funnier? Well, here’s a link anyway.

And 3 stories from it, below, so you don’t have to bother.

Oh, there’s also an article on dildos with religious themes, such as the one I couldn’t resist using in my subject line.

Excerpts from Offies:

And while we're at it, I'm not a crook, so let's stop all this impeachment crap

Recently released tapes from the Nixon archives provided even further insight into the former president's beliefs: After Nixon's ambassador to France got badly drunk on an airplane and began groping flight attendants, Nixon declared at a staff meeting, "Look, people get drunk. People chase girls. And the point is, it's a hell of a lot better to get drunk than take drugs. It's better to chase girls than boys. That's my position, and let's stop this crap."

Coming soon to Abercrombie and Fitch

The leader of Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai, set off a new fashion trend in that country with his trademark hat made out of the fur of aborted lamb fetuses.

And next, the happy cows will be promoting McDonald's

An ad campaign for Denny's featured Miss Piggy, the Muppet, hawking a sausage- and-bacon combo breakfast. "I think people understand that it's the Muppets," a Denny's spokesperson said. "If we had a real pig in here eating bacon, then there would be issues."

No comments: