Tom Toles

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Strike

This picture from the BBC website


is captioned, “In Lebanon, a protester holds up a piece of bread during a strike by agricultural and transport unions to protest against the rising cost of living.” Only in Lebanon could a strike by agricultural and transport unions to protest against the rising cost of living look quite so much like the Apocalypse.

Quiet normality

The Guardian says that the Afghan reporter sentenced to death was not the real target, that warlords were using the case to shut up his brother, who is also a journalist who has written about, among other things, warlords sexually abusing teenage boys. Given Afghanistan’s history, I’m not sure if blasphemy charges being used hypocritically by paedophile warlords isn’t an improvement over blasphemy charges being used sincerely by Taliban fanatics.

Olmert says of Israel’s blockade of Gaza: “Does anyone seriously think that our children will wet their beds at night in fear and be afraid to go out of the house and they [Palestinians in Gaza] will live in quiet normality?” Quiet. Normality. In Gaza. Prick.

Israel’s vicious collective punishment policy has once again made Hamas look like heroes, champions of the under-dog, and tricksters who out-witted the Israelis. The Israeli government is left sputtering that the Egyptians should help starve the Gazans into submission, while Abbas is left on the sidelines, impotent and irrelevant; once again an Israeli effort to isolate Hamas has instead succeeded in undermining Fatah.

We didn’t have a political discussion, we had a discussion on what’s best for America

An Afghan court has sentenced journalism student Sayad Parwez Kambaksh to death for blasphemy (after a rapid trial in which he had no lawyer) for downloading material about the role of women in Muslim societies. The re-Talibanization continues apace.

Speaking of re-Talibanization, Mike Huckabee compares “the seculars” to Nazis.

Bush met with a tammany of mayors today. “I’ve often said being mayor is a lot tougher than being President -- I don’t have to fill the potholes and empty the garbage.” I’ve tried to think of a joke about that without much success (the best being that if you think filling potholes is tougher than being president, you’re not doing it right). The problem is that I keep getting mental images of Bush emptying garbage and filling potholes, and I go to my happy place.

Bush said, “We didn’t have a political discussion, we had a discussion on what’s best for America, particularly given the economic uncertainty we face.” Yeah, “uncertainty,” that’s what it has. Here’s another picture (from yesterday) of Treasury Secretary Paulson’s “uncertainty”:


But here’s my point, George: if the #1 politician in America considers “a political discussion” as being the opposite of “a discussion on what’s best for America,” you’re not doing it right.

This is what a discussion on what’s best for America looks like

The point of the discussion (on what’s best for America) was to enlist the mayors in the push to ratify free-trade deals with Colombia and other countries because “It certainly doesn’t make any sense to say in a country like Colombia, your goods can come in our way, but our goods can’t come your way -- being treated the same way.” No, it certainly doesn’t make any sense to say that, George. Maybe if we try it IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, they’re not treating us the way we’re treating them.”

What Fred did between naps today

Fred Thompson is plum tuckered out of the race. So sad. I had planned to use the words “plum tuckered out” many more times about His Fredness. He says, “I hope that my country and my party have benefited from our having made this effort.” Having made this what now, Fred?

Democratic Debate: I can’t tell who I’m running against sometimes

I didn’t watch, just read the transcript (part 1, 2, 3), but I thought Obama came off whiny when he complained that Hillary and Bill were both attacking him and it wasn’t fair. “Well, I can’t tell who I’m running against sometimes.” Barry: Hillary’s the one with the pearls.


Later, he is asked if Bill Clinton was the first black president. Says he would “have to, you know, investigate more of Bill’s dancing abilities.” Hillary says that could be arranged. At least then Obama would probably be able to tell them apart.

Hillary later says, “I believe that this campaign is not about our spouses.” Yeah, but only because CNN didn’t allow the short guy with the hot spouse into the debate.

Obama notes that Hillary was a corporate lawyer on Wal-Mart’s board, she notes that he was lawyer for a slumlord.


Edwards rather neatly skewers Obama’s explanation for voting against a 30% limit on credit card interest:

EDWARDS: You voted against it because the limit was too high, is that what you just said?

OBAMA: That is exactly what I just said, John, because...

EDWARDS: So there’s no limit at all.

Obama explains that he voted “present” 130 times in the Illinois state senate because that’s how they do things in the Illinois state senate.

Hillary notes, “It is very difficult having a straight-up debate with you, because you never take responsibility for any vote, and that has been a pattern.” She kinda has a point, but she was taking quite a risk that he wouldn’t bring up her circumlocutions about her vote authorizing the Iraq war. Which he didn’t.


I think I’m actually with Obama on not making it mandatory to get for-profit health insurance, but his explanation kind of sucks: “every expert that’s looked at this has said there is not a single person out there who’s going to want health care who will not get it under my plan.”

Favorite exchange:

EDWARD: Let me be really clear about that. It’s amazing now that being the white male...

OBAMA: You’re feeling all defensive about it, John. It’s all right, man.

EDWARDS: ... is different.

Obama says he is a proud Christian. He says D’s should go after the evangelical vote: “And when you don’t show up, if you’re not going to church, then you’re not talking to church folk.” I’m pretty sure they’re allowed out of the church from time to time. Also: folk?

I had a line about “carny folk,” but I thought better of it.

Edwards asks Hillary to take a pledge not to employ any corporate lobbyists in the White House. She says she doesn’t know. But “I’m independent and tough enough to be able to deal with anybody.” Isn’t that a well-expressed answer? The wrong answer, of course, but well-expressed.

Edwards responds that “When somebody gives you millions and millions of dollars, I think they expect something. I don’t think they’re doing it for nothing.” She says that trial lawyers are giving him lots of money. He says, “And what they expect from me is they expect me to stand up for democracy, for the right to jury trial, for the right for little people to be heard in the courtroom.” Rarely has the moral high ground been lost so fast and so ludicrously. Also: little people?


Final question: who would Martin Luther King endorse? On this, everyone is in agreement: Fred Thompson. Obviously.

McCain’s high regard for his supporters

The NYT Saturday quoted McCain saying he would do well among South Carolina’s social conservative voters “because of their fear of radical Islamic extremism”. If I were a social conservative voter in SC, I might be a tad offended that McCain said I was filled with, and politically motivated by, fear. Politicians are supposed to stir up fear and exploit fear without actually saying that the voters are frightened little wimps.

He also believed they would support him because of “their belief in our biblical obligation to maintain the integrity and security of the state of Israel.” He said this to reporters on his campaign bus, and did one of them think to ask if he agreed that there was a “biblical obligation to maintain the integrity and security of the state of Israel”? Not so much.

The Romney camp, meanwhile, is selling these Shroud-of-Turin style t-shirts.

Some Martin Luther King Jr Day thoughts

From Newt Gingrich, at the Republican Party National Convention, August, 13, 1996:

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. Now it is not only a sport in the Olympics. There are over 30 countries that have a competition internationally. There are some 13 states with 25 cities in America. And there’s a whole new world of opportunity opening up that didn’t even exist 30 years ago or 40 years ago, and no bureaucrat would have invented it. And that’s what freedom is all about.

Freedom is about having a dream, and maybe I feel that particularly because the greatest Georgian of this century, Martin Luther King, went to the Lincoln Memorial and said in his extraordinary speech, “I have a dream,” and the dream he outlined is a dream for every American of every background to participate in creating an America that is better for our children and our grandchildren.

Huckabee’s action steps; Giuliani’s secret weapon is revealed

Rudy is fighting back against the Chuck Norris Factor by finding his own celebrity endorser. I got an email today from the Giuliani campaign from... Jon Voight. I knew Rudy reminded me of someone: Ratso Rizzo.

I’ve been skimming Mike Huckabee’s 2007 book From Hope to Higher Ground, and honestly it isn’t interesting enough to provide decent fodder for blog-mockery. There’s a defense of Wal-Mart as empowering consumers. There’s a brief defense of his role in Wayne Dumond’s parole, which inaccurately describes Dumond’s victim as Bill Clinton’s cousin, and says mysteriously that he intervened in the case because he “received information that gave me reason to consider commuting his sentence to time served.” There’s a mention of his 2006 visit to Guantanamo; he decries the “unspeakable degradations that are put upon them day in and day out”. The guards, of course, not the prisoners.

The best bits are the “12 action steps” at the end of each chapter. His “12 Action Steps to STOP Being a Selfish Citizen” include 1) Pray before meals, 3) Attend church, synagogue, or house of worship at least once a week, 6) Read a chapter in the Book of Proverbs each day. Also, 10) Buy Girl Scout cookies.

I checked the book out of the library (you didn’t think I’d buy it, did you?) for the chapter on thinking vertically instead of horizontally, a bit of Huckabee rhetoric I’ve puzzled over before. “Thinking horizontally”, which is bad, is about perpetuating partisan and other divisions, but after reading a whole chapter it’s still not clear if “thinking vertically” is coded Christianity, as has been suggested, or if it has any content to it at all. “12 Action Steps to STOP Thinking Horizontally”: 1) Open doors for others, 3) Attend worship services every week, 8) Don’t use profanity, 12) Purchase some inexpensive umbrellas and give them to total strangers on a rainy day.

His “12 Action Steps to STOP Being Cynical” include 2) Read the Bible more; blogs less.

Hey!

Hezbollah’s leader says he found some shit in the attic, and he’s gonna put it on Ebay. Or something.

It’s really to prove for peace

Bush was interviewed in Saudi Arabia earlier this week by Nightline.

He admitted that he had something to prove on his Middle East trip, “but it’s not so much to prove for my sake. It’s really to prove for peace.”

He says he believes there will be a peace deal because he (sigh) looked into the leaders’ eyes and did the soul-reading thing: “I have talked to these leaders face to face. I have asked them point blank, ‘Do you understand how difficult these issues are?’ Yes. ‘Are you prepared to make the painful political compromises?’ They say they are.” Lean back, close your eyes and visualize Bush walking up to Olmert/Abbas and asking if they understand how difficult these issues are. As they say in the Middle East, oy.

He’s worried about “stereotypes.” Specifically, the stereotypes of him: “I’m sure people view me as a warmonger and I view myself as peacemaker.” (Update: John Oliver on the latest Bugle podcast says that Bush is half-right here, which is a major step up for him. Fair enough.) “My image [is] ‘Bush wants to fight Muslims.’ And, yes, I’m concerned about it. Not because of me, personally. I’m concerned because I want most people to understand the great generosity and compassion of Americans”. There doesn’t seem to be a full transcript, so I don’t know if the Nightline guy asked which people he doesn’t want to understand the great generosity and compassion of Americans.

He said that “freedom is advancing quite amazingly in the Middle East.” I know I’m amazed.

“The other thing is, if I could be perfectly blunt about it, I think people who say we can be free, but you shouldn’t be, are elitist.” He does not name any of these elitists. Never does, really.

One of those places where he thinks freedom is advancing quite amazingly is evidently Saudi Arabia. But “The American president doesn’t come and lecture somebody. ... And for us to say that you can’t have a democracy if you’ve got a king is just not right.” Yeah, because that’s the only reason people say Saudi Arabia isn’t a democracy.

Speaking of dark-skinned people and democracy, he says that if Obama gets the Democratic nomination, he’ll campaign against him, “But it won’t be in a personal way.”

Today he visited a lawnmower factory owned by Wright Manufacturing Inc in Maryland. Standing next to some guy named Wright, he said, “Do you wonder where they got the name ‘Wright?’ That’s his name.” That’s why I keep reading these transcripts of Bush speeches: you always learn something.

He talked about a possible economic stimulus package, which he anthropomorphized: “Any package has got to remember that jobs are created by small businesses.”

(He also talked about that package earlier in the day at the White House. The expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s face probably tells you everything you need to know.)



He got all choked up with his pride and love and shit: “Anyway, thanks for letting me come by. I’m proud to be -- I love the entrepreneurial class in -- I love people who have a dream and work hard to achieve the dream.”

He also loves playing with toys, and driving them right at the assembled press corps.


So long, suckers!

Flocke: quod erat demonstrandum

Bush’s Interior Dept is claiming that oil and gas drilling off Alaska couldn’t possibly threaten polar bears. Unless there’s an oil spill, in which case they’ll all die. Here is my rebuttal to the Interior Department, and I believe it is rigorous, thorough, scientific, and convincing:

Very sincere

The film “The Kiterunner” has been banned in Afghanistan, I assume by the Department of Irony.

In an interview on Fox, Bush says of the Iran NIE “I believe that the intelligence professionals are very sincere in their analysis. That should not say to people that Iran is not a threat. In other words—” And then Greta Van Susteren cut him off – in mid In Other Words!

Thus is the word “sincere” applied to the CIA for the very first time in the history of the agency. It is perhaps bittersweet to those intelligence professionals that it is being applied condescendingly by an unintelligence professional.

The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was.

In an interview with Beliefnet.com, Mike Huckabee tries to re-spin his view that we need to “amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards” as being something other than writing his religion into the Constitution by banning gay marriage and abortion – why, he’s not proposing an amendment to require tithing! Although he says, “The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was” (he’s never heard of the New Testament?), he claims that his religious views on these issues aren’t necessarily religious views: “I think that whether someone is a Christian or not, the idea that a human life has dignity and intrinsic worth should be clear enough. I don’t think a person has to be a person of faith to say that once you redefine a human life...” blah blah blah etc. But of course he is a “person of faith” and does derive his views of marriage and abortion from his religion and is trying to embed those views in the central document of the republic.

As for defining marriage as available only to heterosexual couples, why that’s just history, and “I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again.” The doggy door, presumably. How about a man and a woman, but the woman doesn’t submit graciously to her husband?

The Huck says that his run has made “people realize that Christians are real people and they have a real world view that’s defensible and intellectually sound”. Unlike, presumably, those who believe in evolution.

Once you label it “genocide” you obviously have to do something about it

Bush met with the Special Envoy for Sudan Rich Williamson because the people of Sudan “suffer deprivation and rape. My administration called this a genocide. Once you label it ‘genocide’ you obviously have to do something about it.” Obviously. And what might that something be? “Our discussion centered upon our mutual desire to develop a strategy that will help the United Nations become more effective.” Well, if having a discussion about your mutual desire to develop a strategy to help the UN become more effective doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

WHAT AMERICA IS PROBABLY WONDERING: “You know, America is probably wondering why, why do you care? And one of the reasons we care about the suffering in Sudan is because we care about the human condition all across the face of the earth.” See, he just found out that the Sudanese are humans. Condi really should have mentioned that to him before.

MURDER AS A WEAPON: “And we fully understand that when people suffer, it is in our interest to help. And we also understand that when people suffer it makes it more likely that some may turn to the ideology of those who use murder as a weapon. So it’s in our national security interest and it’s in our -- in the interest of our conscience to confront this, what we have called a genocide.” There’s something remarkably repellant about the argument that 1) we need a self-interested motive before we do something about genocide, 2) that the real danger in genocide is that the survivors might turn into terrorists. Just quite remarkably repellant.

CONTEST: Name the followers

Supporters of presidential candidates are called, by themselves or others, such things as McCainiacs, Fred Heads, Paultards, Romulans etc. Can we do better?

Trends

Last year the US had the lowest number of abortions since 1976, but greatly increased the number of air strikes in Iraq. Coincidence? Discuss.

A wonder

Huckabee says he can appeal to South Carolina voters because when he was in college, he used to fry squirrels in his dorm room (was that at his Baptist college or the seminary?) in a popcorn popper. He does not say whether the squirrels’ deaths were natural or otherwise.

On the last stop of his tour of the Middle East, Bush was in Egypt today, meeting Hosni Mubarak. “You’ve got a great deal of experience,” he told the dictator, “and I appreciate you feeling comfortable in sharing that experience once again with me.”


Evidently Egyptians were upset that in Bush’s speech Sunday when he praised other Arab countries for their fake democratic reforms, he left out Egypt, so today he praised Egypt’s “steps toward... democratic reform,” but failed to say what those steps might be. He praised “the fact that women play an important role in your society... I do so because not only I’m a proud father of two young professional women...” And so the invoking of the names of Jenna and Not-Jenna set back the cause of women in the Middle East by twenty years.

He said that Lebanon should hold “immediate and unconditional presidential elections”.

THERE’S A WONDER: On the Israeli-Palestinian front, I told the President I’m going to stay -- there’s a wonder whether or not the American President, when he says something, whether he actually means it. When I say I’m coming back to stay engaged, I mean it.”


Finally, on the White House website Bush answered emailed questions from the general public, if by general public you mean Americans who think Bush is doing a great job and would like to know who picks out his ties and why don’t we just “invest in research to try to create some kind of big battery that would replace the use of oil.” Bush said he was glad to be getting home because “After all, there’s no better place to lay your head than in your own bed with people you love.” Oo, kinky.

Democratic debate: Is America ready for a president with a messy desk?

Democratic debate, in Nevada, with poor Dennis Kucinich losing a court case to force MSNBC to let him in, not 90 minutes before the start time.

Transcript.

Our pictures today illustrate the many hand gestures of the Democratic Party (except the last picture, which I couldn’t resist).

Obama is asked if what happened in New Hampshire was that people in the privacy of the voting booth were unwilling to vote for a black person. He said no, “you know, at any given moment, people are going to be making judgments based on who they think is best speaking to them about the urgent problems that they’re facing in this country.” I can understand his unwillingness to look like he’s whining about being victimized, but to deny the continuing salience of race in America is going rather too far in the other direction.


Later, Brian Williams asks him about those “Obama is a secret Muslim” emails. Obama says, “the American people are I think smarter than folks give them credit for.” Sure they are, Barry, sure they are.

Obama says that when he said Hillary was “likeable enough” during the last debate, he really meant to say that she was plenty likeable. Sorry, Barack, there’s no way to call Hillary likeable without sounding like it’s meant ironically. Can’t be done.


Edwards says he’s a fighter, that growing up in mill towns he had to literally fight to survive. Literally, huh?


Edwards says that his chief weakness is his powerful emotional response to the pain he sees around him.

Hillary says her chief weakness is that sometimes she gets impatient when people don’t understand what we can do to help each other, and this can come across as pushy.

Obama’s chief weakness is that he tends to lose papers and has a messy desk.


Questions for each other. Edwards: what do insurance and pharmaceutical companies expect for their donations? Obama: they’re inspired by my message. Wait, let me get the exact quote: “What happens is, is that you’ve got - if you’ve got a mid-level executive at a drug company or an insurance company who is inspired by my message of change, and they send me money, then that’s recorded as money from the drug or the insurance industry, even though it’s not organized, coordinated or in any way subject to the problems that you see when lobbyists are given money.” Okay, that’s less believable than when he said that no one voted against him on racial grounds or that Hillary is likeable.


Hillary will continue the Bush policy of punishing colleges that exclude military recruiters and ROTC. Those darn schools “disrespect” people who want to serve. Obama and Edwards would also punish them (Obama goes on about the disproportionate burden on poor and rural types, while Edwards is a little embarrassed and skips quickly to talking about veterans).


Everyone is weak to point of pathetic about guns, although Hillary is against “illegal guns.” Even Obama says “it is very important for many Americans to be able to hunt, fish, take their kids out, teach them how to shoot.” Er, why are blood sports so very important?


Obama says that we should make sure No Child Left Behind “is not a tool to punish people”. The very center of NCLB is high-stakes testing, which literally does not work if it is not a tool to punish people.


Edwards opposes building new nuclear power plants. I didn’t know that.


Plenty likeable:

Amending the Constitution so it’s in Huckabee’s God’s standards

Mike Huckabee: “I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that’s what we need to do, is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family.”

I assume that’s about banning gay marriage, although perhaps he also favors a constitutional amendment requiring wives to “submit graciously” to their husbands.

Chimpy of Arabia II: When I said optimistic about a state being defined, why

Yesterday Bush met with some Saudi entrepreneurs, because “It’s important for the president to hear thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations, concerns from folks that are out making a living.”

He said, “I love the fact that some of you were educated in America. I think you’ll find you got a good education there, but more importantly, Americans get to see you, and you get to see them.” You get to see them looking nervously at you in restaurants, crossing hurriedly to the other side of the street, looking around for a cop...

He said, “One thing that’s for certain: the United States benefits when people come to my country,” adding, “especially those fifteen 9/11 guys that came from here, they really saved my bacon,” adding, “which is kinda ironic, cuz you guys cain’t eat bacon, right?”, adding, “Mmm, bacon.”

He continued, “And the best way to achieve better understanding in the world is for folks just to get together, and get to understand that we share the same God”. And what God might that be? Harper’s Scott Horton suggests that the God who always seems to inspire George when he visits the Middle East might be Shiva. Personally, I’m thinking drunken, not very bright, bellicose Thor, who let’s face it only got to be Thunder God because daddy was All-Father.


Is that the same sword he was waving around in Bahrain?


Today Bush talked with American reporters.

He explained why Condi is making a surprise visit to Iraq: “It’s to, first of all, be there.”

A reporter asked about progress on the Iraqi “benchmarks.” Bush explained, if that’s the word I’m looking for:

A political system evolves and grows. It grows when people have confidence. It grows when the grassroots begins to agitate for change. It grows when there’s alternatives. There’s competition emerging. Those are all the forces necessary to bring people together to get things done. And the leadership is more confident. The grassroots is more involved; there’s been more reconciliation taking place at the local level. And the government is beginning to respond.

This is -- we assume that democracy is a natural phenomenon for people out there. These are people that lived under tyranny. They lived in a society that was divided by a dictator. And they’re beginning to form the habits of self-government, manifested in laws being passed. ...

I reminded everybody last year, you know, people did focus on the benchmarks and so do I, but I also reminded everybody last year that one way to determine whether or not a government is functioning is to look at their budgeting process and how they distribute revenues from central government out to the provinces, which is a key component of a federalized type system. And the definition of federalism, by the way, has yet to be clearly defined in Iraq -- and that’s part of the issues they’re working through....

But nevertheless, even though they haven’t passed that, there is revenue sharing. In other words, there is a process.

Sorry, what was the question again?

Asked what he would like OPEC to do about oil prices: “I would like for them to realize that high energy prices affect the economies of consuming nations.” See, I’ll bet that hadn’t even occurred to them. “And that if these economies weaken, those economies will eventually be buying fewer barrels of oil.” Er, but they’ll be paying record high prices for each of those barrels. Why would OPEC consider that a bad thing?

“What’s happened is, is that demand for energy has outstripped new supply. And that’s why there’s high price.” George has an MBA, you know.

Bush said that King Abdullah “is most interested in two subjects, right off the bat: First, the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. I think what he really wanted to determine was how -- when I said optimistic about a state being defined, why.” King Abdullah is a who what where when why kind of guy.

Also, they talked about Iran. “And I went over the NIE with him.” Oh good. “I was making it clear it was an independent judgment, because what they basically came to the conclusion of, is that he’s trying -- you know, this is a way to make sure that all options aren’t on the table. So I defended our intelligence services, but made it clear that they’re an independent agency, that they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want.”

Asked about the consequences if there’s another naval confrontation with Iranian boats: “I didn’t say, if they do it again -- if they do it again -- I don’t know, what do you mean, if they do it again?” He refused to say whether such boats would be fired on, saying, “My only point is, they shouldn’t be doing it.” He explained that it’s up to the captain to fire if he feels threatened: “These are judgment calls and there are clear rules of engagement.” Er, George, clear rules and judgment calls are the complete opposite of each other.

TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN:

Q: Do you have any sense of what they were up to? What motive --

BUSH: I don’t know.

Q: -- were they test

BUSH: I don’t know.

Q: Do you think they were playing some sort of game?

BUSH: I don’t know. I don’t know.

Asked if someday some American president would do a Reaganesque “tear down this wall” for the Israeli wall, he said “I don’t think in the short-term that day will come.” He said the wall gives Israelis a “sense of security” that allows them to negotiate. He didn’t say anything about the Palestinians also maybe needing a sense of security.

IN OTHER WORDS: “The deal becomes more security. In other words, it’s a series of security measures that will eventually cause a state to come into being.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, when I said contiguous, that means contiguous territory that does not -- Swiss cheese, that it’s –”


Bush looking at a Koran at the Al Murabba Palace and Natural History Museum. CAPTION CONTEST!

Chimpy of Arabia

Bush is now in Saudi Arabia.


He brought a present: $9 billion in arms deals ($20b for his Arab allies in the region as a whole). They gave him... a medal.

Shiny

The King Abdul Aziz Order of Merit.

I has merit.

And another kiss.


Dude hasn’t had so much homoerotic action since Skull and Bones.

Understanding the UAE

Bush in the UAE: “I don’t think most Americans understand the UAE.”

My brain isn’t working this morning. I’m gonna declare a special Bush-in-the-UAE-a-place-we-don’t-understand CAPTION CONTEST, and go back to bed.

I sure hope it’s not about race

In my last post, I should probably have mentioned that Bush’s speech in the UAE also included a fierce attack on Iran, which he called “the world’s leading state sponsor of terror.” He went on, “Iran’s actions threaten the security of nations everywhere.” Everywhere? He said the US is “rallying our friends around the world” against Iran “to confront this danger before it is too late.” Too late? Define “too late.” After January 20, 2009, presumably.

He also said that democracy in the Middle East is perfectly compatible with hereditary leaders such as the sheik-president of the UAE and King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, who he is visiting next, just like Japan has an emperor and the US has the Bush dynasty.

On Meet the Press this morning, Hillary Clinton accused Barack Obama of playing the race card: “I don’t think this campaign is about gender, and I sure hope it’s not about race.” So neither gender nor race are relevant to American politics anymore, Hillary?

Asked about her judgment in voting for the Iraq war (which she still says was not a vote for preemptive war, although when Bush used that vote to start a preemptive war, I don’t recall her complaining), she snapped, “Judgment is not a single snapshot. Judgment is what you do across the course of your life.” Wow, that’s really the best you can do?

British political comedian Armando Iannucci finds himself less than impressed with Obama’s speeches (and with presidential campaign rhetoric in general): “Maybe it’s because his is a rhetoric that soars and takes flight, but alights nowhere. It declares that together we can do anything, but doesn’t mention any of the things we can do. It’s a perpetual tickle in the nose that never turns into a sneeze.”

The British government is thinking about putting organ donation on an “assumed consent” basis (opt-out rather than opt-in). What’s the most alarming headline you could put on that story? From the Indy: “PM Backs Removal of Body Parts Without Consent.”

Bush in the UAE

Bush went to the United Arab Emirates today and gave a speech. He told the Emirati they should get one a those democracies, because “democracy is the only form of government that treats individuals with the dignity and equality that is their right.”

“Yeah,” said Sheikh Zayed, “We’ll get right on that.”


Speaking of democracy and dignity and shit, I just noticed that one of the candidates for president for the American Independent Party is one Mad Max Reiskse.

Bush in the Middle East: People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?

Bush continues to tour the Middle East. This morning he was in Kuwait, where he met with Petraeus and Crocker and with American soldiers.

“Hope is returning to Baghdad,” he announced, only to be told that Bob Hope is no longer with us.

“Iraqis are gradually take [sic] control of their country,” he said, as the alcohol are gradually take control of his few remaining brain cells.

Asked by a reporter if there will be further troop reductions in Iraq, he explained, “General Petraeus made it clear to me that, from his perspective, that conditions on the ground will be that which guides his recommendations. And I made it clear that’s what I want.” So they just sat around, making shit clear to each other. “And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.”


Other things that were cleared up:

• I made it clear to the General that I need to know his considered judgment about what it takes to make sure the security gains we have achieved remain in place. And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.
• And so one of the purposes of this trip is to make it abundantly clear to those serving our country that, one, they have earned the respect of the United States of America...
• Our message is very clear: It’s in your interest that you pass good law.

THE AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, our General has got to understand that success in Iraq is critical. In other words, that ought to be the primary concern when it comes to determining troop levels, and no better person to ask as -- on how to achieve success in Iraq than the General in charge of Iraq.”

FINE WITH ME: “My attitude is, if he didn’t want to continue the drawdown, that’s fine with me, in order to make sure we succeed, see. I said to the General, if you want to slow her down, fine; it’s up to you.”

MORE CONVERSATIONS WITH HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS: “People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?”

SORRY, HATERS: “These haters have no vision of hope. They want to impose their ideology on every man, woman and child in the societies which they feel like they should dominate.”

Said the Iraqis are working on a “de-Baath law.”


Then he spoke to some of the troops stationed in Kuwait, some of them from the Third Army, Patton’s old outfit. “From their noble ranks came soldiers with some of our nation’s highest directors [sic], including 19 recipients of the Medal of Honor. You are -- a distinguished history”.

WHAT THE PAGES WILL SEE: “Sometimes it’s hard to forecast what the history pages are going to see when you’re right in the midst of it all. ... But I want to tell you what the history will say. The history will say, it was when you were called upon, you served, and the service you rendered was absolutely necessary to defeat an enemy overseas so we do not have to face them here at home.” Here at home, George?


And he looked forward to the end – uh oh – of history: “There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world”.

HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS HAVE LOUSY GRAMMAR TOO: “People say, you looking forward to the trip?”

In the afternoon he went to Bahrain. And, you know, the emir of Kuwait gave him a nice kiss...


But the king of Bahrain gave him a fucking SWORD!



He will be missed.

No, seriously, the king also gave him some sort of award.


Is that thing in the middle a telephone? Anyway, George thought they were chocolates, which might explain the uncomfortable way he’s sitting.


Get Your War On.

Incidental torture: Rasul v. Myers

The D.C. Circuit Court ruled yesterday in Rasul v. Myers (click here for the ruling, pdf) that four former Guantanamo prisoners (the ones the movie “Road to Guantanamo” was about) may not sue Rumsfeld and military officers for torturing them because those officials, in ordering the torture, were not “act[ing] as rogue officials or employees who implemented a policy of torture for reasons unrelated to the gathering of intelligence,” but rather it was “the type of conduct the defendants were employed to engage in... The alleged tortious conduct [that means related to a tort, not related to torture, although you could be forgiven for making that mistake] was incidental to the defendants’ legitimate employment duties”. (Alberto Gonzales certified that the defendants were acting within the scope of their employment.)

The ruling doesn’t quite say that torturing prisoners is okay unless it’s just for fun. The court makes the distinction between rogue and non-rogue officials in order to rule that the torturees should first have made a claim to the “appropriate Federal agency” and when that is rejected to sue the US government rather than Rumsfeld, Gen. Myers et al as individuals.

But in making that determination, the courts are saying that the government knew there would be torture when they ordered that prisoners be sent to Guantanamo, that, in the words of the District Court in this case, “torture is a foreseeable consequence of the military’s detention of suspected enemy combatants.” Therefore, logically, they must have intended it. Upholding the lower court, the D.C. Circuit echoes those words: “it was foreseeable that conduct that would ordinarily be indisputably ‘seriously criminal’ would be implemented by military officials responsible for detaining and interrogating suspected enemy combatants.” So that’s okay, then.

Remember when torture in Abu Ghraib was the work of a few “rotten apples”? Here, it’s the torturees who are claiming that the US government never authorized torture and that it condemns torture and considers torture to be criminal behaviour, while it’s the government and the military defendants who are claiming that torture was “incidental” to their duties.