Caption contest, old man version

The AP caption is the same for both these pictures: “Republican presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., reacts to a protester shouting during his speech to the National Association of Latino Elected Officials in Washington, Saturday, June 28, 2008.”

Caption contest, kitten version

Meet my new cat. Currently hiding behind the couch.


Don’t take it personally. She’s friendly, really.



Been here four hours now. She’s about three months old. Thing is, the humane society people or someone named her (shudder) “Dot.” After the dot on her back, I guess.


We can do better.


And by we, I mean you.


Because I’m perfectly capable of calling a cat “Cat” for thirteen or so years. Done it before.


So it’s up to you. Give this kitty a name!

Scalia apportions blame

Antonin Scalia on Bush v. Gore: “Richard Nixon, when he lost to Kennedy thought that the election had been stolen in Chicago, which was very likely true with the system at the time... But he did not even think about bringing a court challenge. That was his prerogative. So you know if you don’t like it, don’t blame it on me. I didn’t bring it into the courts. Mr Gore brought it into the courts. So if you don’t like the courts getting involved talk to Mr Gore.”

For your captioning pleasure, some leftover pictures:

Our concerns are for you, not against you

This morning Bush spoke at the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast, and he did so in two languages: “So he asked, would I come to the prayer breakfast. My answer was, por supuesto.” “As some of you may or may not know, the -- mi niñita lived in Panama for a while”. “We pray that America will strengthen those who serve nuestros hermanos y hermanas in need.” “I’ve known Esperanza for ochos años.” George is just so totally bi-lingual.


He said of the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast: “It’s an important event because it reminds us that no matter what our status in life might be, that we have a duty to respond to a higher power.” Breakfast? It is the most important meal of the day.

If George can speak in two languages, I can get two punchlines from that sentence: “It’s an important event because it reminds us that no matter what our status in life might be, that we have a duty to respond to a higher power.” Dick Cheney?

Earlier, Bush spoke about the nuclear deal with North Korea.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, as I said in the statement, it’s action for action.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “In North Korea, we have been concerned that food shipments sometimes don’t make it to the people themselves -- in other words, the regime takes the food for their own use.”

HE HAS A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT: “So my message to the [North Korean] people is, is that we’ll continue to care for you and worry about you, and at the same time, pursue a Korean Peninsula that’s nuclear weapons free.” He also told the North Koreans, “our concerns are for you, not against you”.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In the past, we would provide benefits to the North Koreans in the hope that they would fulfill a vague promise. In other words, that’s the way it was before I came into office.”



MAN, THOSE NORTH KOREANS ARE AUDACIOUS: “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” You’re sure it wasn’t by Dick Cheney? He gets awfully hungry around noon.

And in the afternoon, he spoke at a conference sponsored by his Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, of which he said “This is not a political convention. This is a compassion convention. (Applause.) This is ‘we don’t care about politic’ convention.”

IRREFUTABLE PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF GOD: “How beautiful was that? From being a homeless mother of two to introducing the President of the United States. (Applause.) There has to be a higher power.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “my administration has advanced policies that yield greater support for faith-based and community groups. In other words, it’s one thing to talk it; it’s another thing to act.”

WHAT GEORGE IS OFTENTIMES ASKED BY THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD: “But oftentimes I’m asked, why? Why do you care what happens outside of America?”


WHAT COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN A PLACE LIKE AMERICA: “It’s only in a place like America -- think about it, think about our country for a second -- could a life nearly extinguished by hate be restored by love and compassion.” Because every other country suuuuuucks.

WHAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T EVEN REALIZE: “You probably don’t even realize some of the acts of kindness are miracles. I’m telling you they are.”

Because when you think District of Columbia, you think well-regulated militia

The Supreme Court strikes down D.C.’s ban on handgun ownership (and its trigger-lock requirement), ruling 5-4 that everyone has the right to own handguns. They also ruled that it would be cool if dueling came back in style.

The return of constructive engagement and quiet diplomacy

South Africa’s ANC issues a statement on Zimbabwe which, while condemning “the flagrant violation of every principle of democratic governance” (though saying much of the blame lies with Britain), asks other nations not to intervene, saying “any attempts by outside players to impose regime change will merely deepen the crisis.” I seem to recall Ronald Reagan saying that very thing about apartheid South Africa in the 1980s (update: I didn’t mean that literally, but I’ve just done the google thing, and Reagan actually said that putting sanctions on South Africa would “deepen the crisis.”)

John McCain is profoundly disturbed. He says so himself.

McCain and Obama both reject the Supreme Court decision that the death penalty should not be applied to child-rapists, boldly coming out against the rape of children. McCain: “That there is a judge anywhere in America who does not believe that the rape of a child represents the most heinous of crimes, which is deserving of the most serious of punishments, is profoundly disturbing.” Heaven forfend any member of the United States judiciary not support the state putting people to death.

A spirit of respect

Bush met Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung today. Evidently, “Our relationship with Vietnam is getting closer, in a spirit of respect.” This spirit of respect did not, however, prevent the White House website failing to understand Vietnamese names and calling the respected guest “Prime Minister Dung.” The transcript didn’t specify whether Bush giggled disgracefully throughout the meeting.

A nation in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans

This morning Bush met with Philippines President Gloria Arroyo.

WHY GEORGE IS PROUD: “First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER, BUT ALSO THE REMINDEDER: “And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.”


GEORGE SPEAKS SENSITIVELY ABOUT THE TYPHOON: “Some are wondering whether or not their loved ones will, you know, reappear.”

MORE THAN STRONG STAND: “I congratulated the President on her strong stand on counterterrorism -- more than strong stand -- effective stand on counterterrorism”.


WHAT STICKS SAY: “The President has been very strong in having a carrots-and-sticks approach -- ‘sticks,’ of course, say we’re not going to allow for people to terrorize our citizens; the ‘carrot’ approach is that there’s peace available.”

Terror gaffe

McCain aide Charlie Black, in what the London Times rather charmingly called a “terror gaffe,” told Fortune magazine that a terrorist attack on US soil would “certainly” “be a big advantage” to McCain. Possibly he thought was talking to Soldier of Fortune magazine?

Le mot juste

I just got my new driver’s license in the mail. With the new picture.

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

There’s nothing better than having good role models for girls to look at

Today’s must-read: McClatchy’s Leila Fadel on the reaction in Iraq to the US failure to punish anyone for the Haditha Massacre.

Bush, hosting the Phoenix Mercury women’s basketball team: “As the father of twin girls, there’s nothing better than having good role models for girls to look at, and there are no better role models than women basketball players.” So step aside, all you women doctors and lawyers and professors and authors and legislators and governors and...

Paradoxical representation

Condi Rice, in an interview with the Wall Street Journal editorial board, on future Iraqi elections:

RICE: Depending on what happens with the structure of the elections, and we obviously favor and everybody favors if it can be done, proportional representation rather than a list system, it will --

Q: Rather than a list system?

RICE: A list system where parties simply --

Q: Proportional representation is a list system.

RICE: No, but not a list system. Not having a list system. Having representation by district --

Q: By district.

RICE: Yeah, by district. Proportional representation, constituency representation. Yes, right. But not a list system because, obviously, for -- now, it’s hard and it’s --

Sadly, they did not ask her how this hitherto unknown form of proportional representation would work.

She was also interviewed this week by CNN’s editorial board. She said that if North Korea completes the next phase of denuclearization, “the President will notify Congress that he intends to take them off the terrorism list.” Just in case you thought that the list of state sponsors of terrorism had anything to do with which states sponsor terrorism.

And she spun the fact that NK actually tested a nuke for the first time on her watch as not a dismal failure of Bush policy but one of them there clarifying moments: “The fact that they test-fired a nuclear weapon probably helped us get to where we are, because it really solidified the international consensus that this was a state that cannot be trusted with nuclear devices and with nuclear materials. And so I would say that we’re much further along than we were.” So that’s all right then.

Pusillanimity

Krugman on Obama’s pusillanimous position on FISA:

My biggest concern about an Obama administration is that, in the end, he won’t make universal health care a priority. My second biggest concern is that “Unity” means never having to say you’re sorry: that in the name of putting past partisanship behind us, the next administration will sweep the abuses of the past 8 years under the rug, the same way Bill Clinton did in 1993; the result of that decision was that the very same people responsible for Iran-Contra showed up subverting our democracy all over again.

I always said that if Iran-Contra accomplished nothing else, at least Elliott Abrams, possessor of the smuggest face in the Reagan administration, would never become secretary of state.

I’m not sure which possibility is actually more worrying: 1) that Obama doesn’t consider this an important matter of principle and the Bushies’ domestic spying a significant abuse of power, or 2) that he isn’t willing to “distract” himself from his campaign by engaging with this issue. Neither bodes well.

But my greatest disappointment is not with Obama or Hoyer or Pelosi, but with the American people for not making it abundantly clear with their collective outrage that standing up to the administration’s lawlessness and to retroactive immunity would be politically popular as well as, you know, the right thing to do.

Note: in my 4,416 posts, that was the first time I’ve employed the word pusillanimous. I kind of enjoyed it. I may do it again sometime. Leave suggestions in comments for any other words you’d like to see me use in a sentence.

Waste, fraud and abuse of your time

Headline of the day, AP: “Paraguay Inmates Riot for More Sex.” The best part of a Paraguayan prison riot: the make-up sex.

For your political educational benefit, the McCain McCampaign offers this charmless video game, called “Pork Invaders,” in which you shoot (veto) at pigs and pork barrels. “Play the game to help John McCain in his tireless fight against wasteful spending,” his website says.



CAPTION CONTEST! YAY!!!

Unclear on the concept

A BBC article (sent in by Alert Reader David Chappell) quotes the finding of an official inquiry into the stabbing of a prisoner in a British prison that “At the time of Wayne’s murder a criminal subculture was embedded” at the prison. That will happen if you keep letting criminals in.

Number 9 in the series, “Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face.”

From a speech given today at a “Women in Housing and Finance” meeting.





And, er, what might he be signaling here?

Sometimes it’s hard to see it when you’re this close to the deal

Bush went to Iowa today to look at storm damage.

WHAT GEORGE KNOWS: “I know a lot of farmers and cattlemen are hurting right now, along with the city people.”


WHAT WE ALSO GOT TO WORRY ABOUT: “we also got to worry about the little towns. A lot of folks are wondering whether or not the government hears about them, too, and I can assure you that I know the Governor cares deeply about it, and so do we.”

BUT NOT ACTUALLY TO HELP THEM IN ANY WAY: “Paulison, who is the head of FEMA, tells me that there are 600 FEMA people moving around the state, and that ought to help the people in the smaller communities know that somebody is there to listen to them and care about them.”

HOW THEY’LL COME BACK: “You’ll come back better. Sometimes it’s hard to see it when you’re this close to the deal.”

You understand how hopeful the world can be when people live in free societies

Today Bush met with Prime Minister Sergei Stanishev of Bulgaria.

WHAT STANISHEV UNDERSTANDS: “you understand how hopeful the world can be when people live in free societies.”


REALIZING THE BLESSINGS: “we talked about a mutual concern, and that’s energy: How do we get more energy on the market; how do we help others, our respective countries and others, realize the blessings of additional energy supply?”

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “I mean, we’re in a world that is -- where supply has exceeded -- where demand has exceeded supply. There’s high prices.”

WHAT GEORGE THANKED STANISHEV FOR: “Thank you for your hard work and thank you for your care about the people of your country.” Um, you’re welcome?


HE’S THE REMINDERER: “I reminded the Prime Minister that all of us have got a responsibility to deal with corruption.”

WARNING: IRONY ALERT IRONY ALERT IRONY ALERT: “When we find corrupt officials in the United States, we expect them to be, within the rule of law, be dealt with.”

WHAT STANISHEV IS, AND WHAT GEORGE IS: “You’re a good, young, strong leader, and that’s said from an old guy.”

I see dead people

Bush and gospel singer Kurt Carr. Just once I’d like to see a black man rub Bush’s head.


And John McCain.


I thought he looked like he was seeing ghosts, and then read the AP caption: “Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) speaks to supporters Tuesday, June 17, 2008 in Houston.” Yup, he’s seeing ghosts all right.

Our hearts and thoughts go to those who lost life

This morning Bush spoke about the flooding in Iowa.

WHERE OUR HEARTS AND THOUGHTS GO: “Of course, our hearts and thoughts go to those who lost life.”

#5983 IN THE LIST OF THINGS BUSH “FULLY UNDERSTANDS”: “I fully understand people are upset when they lose their home.”

A CLEAR... STRATEGY: “And we want to work with state and local folks to have a clear strategy to help people find -- get back into a place that -- where they can live.”

WHAT WE’VE GOT: “We’ve got what we called a Disaster Relief Fund.”


WHAT THEY (CONGRESS) NEED TO WORRY ABOUT: “What they do need to worry about is making sure that there is enough but not too much money in the fund, so we can say we have done our job.” Well, you can say it.

WHEN YOU’VE SEEN ONE DISASTER, YOU’VE SEEN THEM ALL: “And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as President.” Yeah, everywhere you go, there seems to be a disaster. Funny that.

Listening tour

In an exercise in, how you say, fair use, I present an AP picture and its caption: “Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., listens to a reporter’s question during a press briefing at his campaign headquarters in Arlington, Va., Monday, June 16, 2008.”

Bush in the UK: Waiting for somebody rational to show up

Bush held a press conference with Gordon Brown this morning. And, oh sure, I could illustrate this post with pictures of George Bush and Gordon Brown.



Yeah, cuz that’s so exciting. Or I could use pictures of Bush playing basketball with a bunch of little girls in Belfast. They trounced him soundly; he made zero out of four shots.



He appalled Europeans with this threat: “By the way, some are speculating this is my last trip. Let them speculate. Who knows?”

WHAT THE FIRST THING ABOUT GORDON BROWN IS: “First thing about Gordon Brown, he’s tough on terror, and I appreciate it”.



WHAT THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION OF HISTORY IS GOING TO LOOK BACK ON IT IS: “The fundamental question of history is going to look back on it, is did we understand the duty that we’ve been called to do, to protect ourselves and hope others?”

Incidentally, today he’s not saying that history won’t be able to judge him at all for forty years, but that “History will judge the tactics. History will judge whether or not, you know, more troops were needed earlier, troops could have been positioned here better or not. Removing Saddam Hussein was not wrong.” So, a note to historians: confine your analysis to Bush’s tactics. Last night, by the way, Brown invited some real historians to dinner with Bush: Martin Gilbert, Simon Schama and David Cannadine. The mind boggles.



TRYING TO DISTANCE THIS, THAT, AND THE OTHER: “No, I know there’s a lot of discussion here in the British press about, well, you know, is there going to be enough troops, or not enough troops, and all that business; is he trying to distance this, that and the other -- it’s just typical.” Also typical: naked page three girls.



THE WHO CARES POSITION: “Hopefully the Iranian leadership will take a different position then the one they’ve taken in the past, which is basically, who cares what the free world says, we’re going to -- we’ll go our own way.” And we know how George hates unilateralism.

GEORGE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD QUALMS MEANS: “We have no qualms with the Iranian people.” (Update: Simon Hoggart thinks he was actually saying quarrels, which he pronounces “kwarls.”)



WHAT WE EXPECT: “And so my message at the G8 is: Looking forward to working with you; thanks for coming to the meeting -- just remember, there are people needlessly dying on the continent of Africa today, and we expect you to be more than pledge-makers. We expect you to be check-writers for humanitarian reasons.”



BE IN MORE CHARGE: “And so, give the Iraqis more responsibility. Let them take more -- be in more charge of their own security and their own government, and that’s what’s happening.”



WHAT THE KEY THING IS (BLITHERING INCOHERENCE, EVIDENTLY): “And so, you know, I mean -- look, the key thing for me is that I have -- you know, is that Gordon shares with me his plans. He listens to -- he talks to his commanders and he picks up the phone and says, here’s what we’re thinking. So there’s no surprises.”

WHAT HE CALLS PAKISTAN: “Pak”



SO IT WAS ALL WORTH IT: “The strategic implications of a free Iraq are significant for our future. For example, a free Iraq will make it easier to deal with the Iranian issue.”

THERE IS SOME: “there is some who say that perhaps freedom is not universal. Maybe it’s only Western people that can self-govern. Maybe it’s only, you know, white-guy Methodists who are capable of self government.” Dude, we’ve seen you play basketball...



“And it’ll bring peace to the Middle East, unless of course we become isolationist”. Increasingly, he is describing opponents of his failed foreign policy as if they are following this discredited ideology of isolationism, as if they oppose the US exercising any influence at all in the world, as opposed to exercising it in the direction of crapification.



I MEAN IN OTHER WORDS: “I mean, in other words, they [North Korea] are -- we’ll see what they disclose, but we hopefully are in the process of disabling and dismantling their plutonium manufacturing.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “you know, let’s send a focused message all aiming to create the conditions so that somebody rational shows up. In other words, people hopefully are sick of isolation in their respective countries, and they show up and say, we’re tired of this; there’s a better way forward.”

WHAT HE’D SAY IF HE WERE THE IRANIANS OR THE NORTH KOREANS: “So if I were the North Koreans and I were looking at Iran, or the Iranians looking at North Korea, I’d say, uh-oh, there are coalitions coming together that are bound tightly -- more tightly than ever in order to send us a focused message.”


A focused message.

That’s one of those great hypotheticals that we didn’t know

The Bush message to Iowa flood victims: “I know there’s a lot of people hurting right now and I hope they’re able to find some strength in knowing that there is love from a higher being.” As for you atheists, just keep paddling I guess.

I now have the full transcript of Bush’s interview by the Observer, the subject of my previous post.

GEORGE INVENTS A NEW VERB TENSE: “And therefore people that -- at least governments that felt like they didn’t want to participate in the liberation of Iraq have now wanted to participate in the reconstruction of Iraq.”

WHAT MALIKI HAS MOVED: “Maliki has moved things -- Stockholm and comports himself like a leader would, and he speaks hopefully about the future.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, the agenda is varied and it’s profound.”


Asked who is really in charge of Russia now: “Putin introduced me to Medvedev. And he -- in not only his body language, but in his words to me that Medvedev is going to be in charge of foreign policy.” So that settles that.

Asked about human rights in Russia, he recounted how he once spoke to Putin on behalf of the Catholic church, how Putin owns his own orthodox church, how Bush once met some Russian Jews, and concluded “And so he is sensitive to religious liberty”. For Bush, there is really only one human right that matters.

IN OTHER WORDS: “And so my only point there is that -- and this is the point I make to our partners, is that the Iranians had adopted a different attitude during my presidency -- in other words, in the relatively near past -- and that’s not to say they can’t do it again.”

WHAT HE TELLS HIS PARTNERS: “You know, I tell my partners, we’re asking you to sanction, I know you’re sitting there saying to yourself, well, it’s easy for him to say because they’ve already sanctioned.” Oh, George, we know that nothing is easy for you to say.

WHAT THE QUESTION FACING COUNTRIES IS: “And the question facing countries is, does money trump effective diplomacy for the sake of peace and security?”

THE POST-WHAT NOW? “And the lesson learned in this post-conflict period in both Iraq and Afghanistan is you got to have security.”

BUSH MAKES A WIDDLE JOKE:

Q: Weapons of mass destruction in Iraq obviously is --

SHRUB: Still looking for them.

Q: Still looking for them, exactly. (Laughter.)

SHRUB: That was a huge disappointment.

They did not ask him what was disappointing about it, but did ask if he would have invaded Iraq is he’d known there were no WMDs: “Well, you know, that’s one of those great hypotheticals that we didn’t know.”


KIND OF LIE IN AN EMPTY GRAVE: “Many, many families look at me trying to determine whether or not, one, I believed that it was necessary; and two, whether or not I’m going to let their son or daughter kind of lie in an empty grave when it comes to the sacrifice they made. They want to know whether or not the President -- if he believes it was necessary, whether or not he’s going to see this thing through, regardless of what they’re screaming on the TV sets.”

Asked about his legacy, he said, “There’s no such thing as objective short-term history.” He’s talked before about how forty years from now we’ll know how wonderful he really was, but I don’t think he’s claimed before that it’s literally impossible to form a correct judgment before then and that anything anyone says about him now can and should be completely disregarded.

ACTUALLY THEY’RE MEXICANS WHO DICK CHENEY SENDS INTO THE OVAL OFFICE EVERY MORNING AND TELLS BUSH ARE IRAQIS: “But my view is, is that when you talk to Iraqis, they’re thrilled with the idea of living in a free society. Do they like the fact that violence is still there? No. But every society reaches a level of violence that’s tolerable. And has that reached Iraq? I don’t know yet.” Tolerable? Presumably not to the recipients of that violence. That’s just a bizarre little sociological statement. And is he really saying that the level of violence in Iraq (or New York City or Sao Paulo, for that matter) is only as high as it is because the Iraqis are okay with it?

Oh wait, he goes on: “the thing that people ought to focus on is the courage of the Iraqis. They put up with a lot of violence: Muslims killing Muslims. But first of all, there have been some accidents, but nobody can claim that the United States or Great Britain are intentionally killing innocent people. We’re not. As a matter of fact, warfare has changed a lot.” After all these years, dude still thinks of war as antiseptic, even, dare I say it, humane.

WHAT IT’S HARD FOR PEOPLE SITTING AFAR TO SAY: “Freedom trumps tyranny every time. And it’s hard for people to see that. It’s hard for people sitting afar to say, isn’t that beautiful, somebody lives in a free society?”

One revelation: he has never watched “The West Wing.” “I don’t watch network TV. I read.”

Some irritated guys making some moves

Bush was interviewed by the Observer (London).

HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS IN THE MIDDLE EAST: “When you go to the Middle East and you sit in my seat and listen, yes, there’s concern about the Palestinian state. But the dialogue has shifted dramatically from ‘solve the Palestinian state and you’ve solved the problems in the Middle East’ to, now, ‘solve the Iranian issue and you solve the problems in the Middle East’.” So who is it, besides the Israelis, calling for the US to attack Iran? We want names.

WHAT GEORGE FEELS: (ON IRAQ): “I feel a sense of pain for death. I feel a sense of pain for the families of our troops.”

BUST A MOVE: “We’re in a war. A lot of people hoped this wasn’t a war - they just kind of dismiss it as, oh, there’s some irritated guys making some moves.”

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “I talked to King Abdullah about increasing the supply of oil, on the theory that if you harm your consumers with high prices they will find other ways to power their economies - and that he should not want to see the kind of worldwide contraction as a result of consumers spending money on energy that ends up overseas, as opposed to spending money on opportunities in their respective economies.” Yes, he certainly wouldn’t want to see consumers spending money on energy that ends up overseas... although, actually, isn’t he in the business of selling energy and isn’t he located, you know, overseas?

(Update: more from this interview in the next post.)