Just read an e-mail, which I won't forward since it's too long-winded to be worth it, but someone having problems with a Microsoft product called up their support line, which charges money, and a lot of it, and doesn't necessarily refund it if they fail to fix the problem, and then called the Psychic Friends Network. A comparison showed that the latter was faster, cheaper, more courteous although, admittedly, the psychics didn't solve the computer problem either.
According to a newspaper story, Chelsea is the glue holding the family together right now. I can just picture it. "Chelsea, can you ask your mother to pass the ketchup?" "Tell your father to get one of his bimbos to pass the damned ketchup!"
Newt Gingrich has been awfully moderate this week. Do you suppose it was that lying-to-Congress thing and that fine he had to pay a while back? Is he still in hock to Bob Dole, I wonder? Now, here's a question. One way in which Gingrich lied was in promising not to orchestrate a spin campaign, which he then did. Now, with which other Congresscritters was he closeted that weekend, and are any of them calling Clinton a liar this week?
I know the first question a reporter asked the defense secretary today was whether he'd seen the movie Wag the Dog, but I didn't hear what the answer was. Now was the bombing because a vacation at Martha's Vineyard turned out to be an inappropriate follow-up to a national almost-confession, sort of like OJ on the golf course? Or was it to put a break in that line-up of Senators and such calling for his resignation, which I don't believe anyone has done since the bombs fell?
A chemical plant in the center of a capitol city. No, nothing dangerous in that choice of target, no sirree billie-bob.
Terrorism is just a license for anything we want to do, isn't it? Yesterday, the Irish prime minister announced a bunch of new measures which he described as draconian, for use against the Real IRA and such. That must be the only time I've heard someone supporting actions use the term draconian, as if it was a positive term. Britain, too, is talking about going back to the good old days of internment, conviction on the word of a single cop, supergrasses, further cutbacks on the right to silence, etc., that brought us the Guildford 6, the Bradford 4, etc etc etc.
Starr is still going to try to match up the semen stain. Is there anything probative in that after Clinton has confessed fucking her? Monica, by the way, is seriously put out because she thinks they had a genuine relationship which he is reducing to mere sex. Poor girl.
None of the people Clinton made lie for him have seen fit to resign. Who was the last person to resign on a matter of principle in this country, anyway? William Jennings Bryan?
Meanwhile, the Russian economy has collapsed and Yeltsin is showing more signs of dementia, and Congo-Kinshasa is about to erupt again, but wait, let's hear some more about that tie!
Thursday, August 20, 1998
Tuesday, August 18, 1998
Some British tourists who were unsatisfied with their accommodations in Malta sued the company. The judge decided this needed to be looked into very carefully indeed, has just returned from Malta, and says their expectations were too high.
Words not used by Clinton in yesterday's speech-let: affair, sex, lie, sorry, apology, aardvark, semen-stained dress.
Quayle, the master of irony, said on Nightline last night that Clinton should resign.
Matt Drudge says that Clinton was wearing the tie Monica gave him yesterday.
Words not used by Clinton in yesterday's speech-let: affair, sex, lie, sorry, apology, aardvark, semen-stained dress.
Quayle, the master of irony, said on Nightline last night that Clinton should resign.
Matt Drudge says that Clinton was wearing the tie Monica gave him yesterday.
Sunday, August 16, 1998
Clinton testifies. Whee. So where is the made-for-tv movies, already? And who should play Monica? I think we all fondly remember Sherilyn Fenn's ability on Twin Peaks to tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tongue, but I understand that Shannen Doherty has already gained 30 pounds in preparation for the role, a la Robert De Niro.
Speaking of crappy movies, the review in the NY Times of The Avengers, which was released without reviewers being allowed to see it in advance, was headlined "Shh, They're Trying Not to Be Noticed." I understand the movie could still make a profit if they just take out ads emphasizing the key's sole asset, which is that neither Uma Thurman in the catsuit nor Sean Connery under his kilt, are wearing any underwear.
Speaking of crappy movies, the review in the NY Times of The Avengers, which was released without reviewers being allowed to see it in advance, was headlined "Shh, They're Trying Not to Be Noticed." I understand the movie could still make a profit if they just take out ads emphasizing the key's sole asset, which is that neither Uma Thurman in the catsuit nor Sean Connery under his kilt, are wearing any underwear.
Friday, August 14, 1998
The Union Bank of Switzerland, which conveniently lost its records of money deposited by Jews before and during World War II, spent years trying to collect the rather piddling sums it lent to British and other Allied soldiers who escaped from POW camps and arrived without money or food and unable to get their British pay.
OK, it was the Oakland City Council that deputized the cannabis buyer's club to make its activities legal, not Berkeley. What does that tell you?
The 9th Circuit rules that people on Medicare have constitutional due process rights not to have claims turned down without a reason giving and a hearing by those HMOs the Feds are trying to force everyone on Medicare into. The decision is sensible and obvious enough, which means it will be reversed by the Supreme Court, which hates sensible and obvious almost as much as it hates the 9th Circuit. The interesting part is the Clinton Administration's position, which is that the decisions of the HMOs aren't subject to court review because they are not the actions of government. This is where privatization leads us, to a world where the Constitution no longer applies to actions taken by people working for the government because those people are alleged to be private. I know there are privatized federal prisons whose managements claim not to be bound by federal rules on things like excessive force and not killing prisoners and stuff.
I'll say it again: just when I think I have no expectations of Clinton left to be disappointed, he manages to disappoint me. Who would have thought they actually didn't want to find any evidence of Iraqi "illegal" arms programs because it would mean, I don't know, all that paperwork, I guess.
Finally, according to the LA Times, Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ellen deGeneres, Madonna, Andie MacDowall, and I forget who all else, are turning 40 sometime this year. Feel old, feel very very old.
OK, it was the Oakland City Council that deputized the cannabis buyer's club to make its activities legal, not Berkeley. What does that tell you?
The 9th Circuit rules that people on Medicare have constitutional due process rights not to have claims turned down without a reason giving and a hearing by those HMOs the Feds are trying to force everyone on Medicare into. The decision is sensible and obvious enough, which means it will be reversed by the Supreme Court, which hates sensible and obvious almost as much as it hates the 9th Circuit. The interesting part is the Clinton Administration's position, which is that the decisions of the HMOs aren't subject to court review because they are not the actions of government. This is where privatization leads us, to a world where the Constitution no longer applies to actions taken by people working for the government because those people are alleged to be private. I know there are privatized federal prisons whose managements claim not to be bound by federal rules on things like excessive force and not killing prisoners and stuff.
I'll say it again: just when I think I have no expectations of Clinton left to be disappointed, he manages to disappoint me. Who would have thought they actually didn't want to find any evidence of Iraqi "illegal" arms programs because it would mean, I don't know, all that paperwork, I guess.
Finally, according to the LA Times, Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ellen deGeneres, Madonna, Andie MacDowall, and I forget who all else, are turning 40 sometime this year. Feel old, feel very very old.
Thursday, August 13, 1998
Some days ago, the Animal Liberation Front in Britain (come to think of it, I have one of their t-shirts somewhere) released 3,000 minks from a mink farm. The British papers have been full ever since of stories about how minks are really the most vicious animals on the face of the earth, and attack anything that moves. The locals are not happy.
Till dress us do part
Athens: A bride-to-be suffered a nervous breakdown the night before her wedding on the Greek island of Crete when she took friends to the couple's new home to see the wedding dress - only to find the groom wearing it and in a passionate embrace with his best man. The wedding was called off, an Athens news agency reported. (Reuters)
Till dress us do part
Athens: A bride-to-be suffered a nervous breakdown the night before her wedding on the Greek island of Crete when she took friends to the couple's new home to see the wedding dress - only to find the groom wearing it and in a passionate embrace with his best man. The wedding was called off, an Athens news agency reported. (Reuters)
Wednesday, August 12, 1998
The Nevis referendum on independence from St. Kitts failed to win the necessary 2/3.
Hillary Clinton says that it's just anti-Arkansas prejudice fueling the attacks on husband Bill (if your idea of a good time is oral sex from the chubby much younger intern, you just might be a redneck) Clinton.
Sony accidentally invented and sold the #1 item on the wish list of teenage boys everywhere, the x-ray specs. Their camcorder's night vision filter (for filming sleeping babies and philandering husbands) can pretty much see through clothing in the right light.
Somebody from the Carter Center was showing a bunch of Chinese visitors how democracy worked by taking them along while he voted in the Georgia primaries. Where he was promptly refused a ballot in his own party, as they kept insisting he was a Republican. The Chinese, according to the Washington Post, were baffled. When it was finally straightened out, the guy voted in the Democratic primaries, in which there was only one candidate for governor. The Post doesn't say, but one presumes the Chinese were less baffled by that.
The Post has an article on welfare reform which says that a major cause of the shrinking rolls is not people being kicked off, but hurdles being put in the way of people ever getting on to begin with. Sometimes they get one-time payments, which may be all they need. Some are made to go after 40 job opportunities first, which may work. Oregon gives people one-way tickets to California, which works for Oregon. But mostly this has a sense of being number-mongering, that civil servants are now being made to go after lower welfare caseloads based strictly on numbers, in the same way that the lowering crime rate is partly based on police departments, under pressure to get those numbers, downgrading crimes, and of course Robert MacNamara's famous body-counts. A civil servant with a quota of people to screw over makes the spine shiver even more than "I'm from the government, I'm here to help." No one knows how many just give up when they realize there will just be more stupid hurdles endlessly. One civil servant saw nothing wrong with forcing people to rely on relatives, which should ensure that the really poor drag down the not-quite-so-poor.
Speaking of unfortunate relatives, Mark Thatcher, idiot son of Margaret, who made his money in illegal arms deals in the 1980s and security services in the US in the 1990s, has a new career: loan-sharking to the underpaid police and civil servants of South Africa, where he now lives.
Finally, for Bay Area residents: Channel 20's new owners are ditching the dogs. Boooo!
Hillary Clinton says that it's just anti-Arkansas prejudice fueling the attacks on husband Bill (if your idea of a good time is oral sex from the chubby much younger intern, you just might be a redneck) Clinton.
Sony accidentally invented and sold the #1 item on the wish list of teenage boys everywhere, the x-ray specs. Their camcorder's night vision filter (for filming sleeping babies and philandering husbands) can pretty much see through clothing in the right light.
Somebody from the Carter Center was showing a bunch of Chinese visitors how democracy worked by taking them along while he voted in the Georgia primaries. Where he was promptly refused a ballot in his own party, as they kept insisting he was a Republican. The Chinese, according to the Washington Post, were baffled. When it was finally straightened out, the guy voted in the Democratic primaries, in which there was only one candidate for governor. The Post doesn't say, but one presumes the Chinese were less baffled by that.
The Post has an article on welfare reform which says that a major cause of the shrinking rolls is not people being kicked off, but hurdles being put in the way of people ever getting on to begin with. Sometimes they get one-time payments, which may be all they need. Some are made to go after 40 job opportunities first, which may work. Oregon gives people one-way tickets to California, which works for Oregon. But mostly this has a sense of being number-mongering, that civil servants are now being made to go after lower welfare caseloads based strictly on numbers, in the same way that the lowering crime rate is partly based on police departments, under pressure to get those numbers, downgrading crimes, and of course Robert MacNamara's famous body-counts. A civil servant with a quota of people to screw over makes the spine shiver even more than "I'm from the government, I'm here to help." No one knows how many just give up when they realize there will just be more stupid hurdles endlessly. One civil servant saw nothing wrong with forcing people to rely on relatives, which should ensure that the really poor drag down the not-quite-so-poor.
Speaking of unfortunate relatives, Mark Thatcher, idiot son of Margaret, who made his money in illegal arms deals in the 1980s and security services in the US in the 1990s, has a new career: loan-sharking to the underpaid police and civil servants of South Africa, where he now lives.
Finally, for Bay Area residents: Channel 20's new owners are ditching the dogs. Boooo!
Sunday, August 09, 1998
Magic shoes
China hails sole survivor
Beijing: A Chinese soldier thrown high into the air when he stepped on a landmine near China's border with Vietnam survived unscathed thanks to the experimental boots he was wearing, the People's Daily said. A Chinese military university is testing the special protective footwear for mine clearers in the southwestern province of Yunnan, the site of thousands of mines left over from China's 1979 border war with Vietnam. (Reuters)
This story just baffles me. What sort of shoes are these? I'm picturing giant springs.
Beijing: A Chinese soldier thrown high into the air when he stepped on a landmine near China's border with Vietnam survived unscathed thanks to the experimental boots he was wearing, the People's Daily said. A Chinese military university is testing the special protective footwear for mine clearers in the southwestern province of Yunnan, the site of thousands of mines left over from China's 1979 border war with Vietnam. (Reuters)
This story just baffles me. What sort of shoes are these? I'm picturing giant springs.
Friday, August 07, 1998
Fri, 7 Aug 1998
There's a story in tomorrow's London Times about a World War I soldier who got caught in a French town behind German lines and spent four years hiding in a cupboard.
Wednesday, August 05, 1998
Monday, August 03, 1998
Chanel no. 1
Daily Telegraph:
A ZIMBABWEAN man has been jailed for a month for bottling his urine and selling it as perfume.
A ZIMBABWEAN man has been jailed for a month for bottling his urine and selling it as perfume.
Thursday, July 30, 1998
Evidently dead people who haven't already been circumcised can't get into Jewish cemeteries (perhaps this is only in Israel), unless, of course, someone circumcises the corpse.
Among the Chinese of Indonesia, the latest big fashion accessory is the chastity belt, in preparation for the next round of rape 'n' riot. There must be a good reason why this is a bad idea, or surely someone would have done it before?
Among the Chinese of Indonesia, the latest big fashion accessory is the chastity belt, in preparation for the next round of rape 'n' riot. There must be a good reason why this is a bad idea, or surely someone would have done it before?
Tuesday, July 28, 1998
The Vietnamese police official from the famous 1968 photo in which he executed a VC prisoner dies peacefully in Virginia, where he ran a pizza parlor, leading ineluctably to the question: what the fuck was he doing in this country all these years? This is why the US opposes a war crimes tribunal.
China has 30 times as many deaths per automobile as the US, 70,000 traffic deaths in 1997.
China reverses its ban on Amway. Not that these two stories are in any way related.
From an LA Times story: "Emmy Award-winning effects supervisor Ron Thornton said his best work last year was creating a computer-animated, 9-foot tall, three-legged alien for UPN network's "Star Trek: Voyager." But another assignment kept him tied up for a couple of days digitally removing armpit stains from an actor who had been perspiring heavily."
Iran hangs a Bahai for converting a Muslim.
A Federal judge strikes down NJ's law against pornography at the state prison for chronic sex offenders.
Stupid medical idea of the week: a company in Britain is charging 300 pounds for home paternity testing. Just send off a sample of the DNA from your alleged offspring and find out if you're really the father.
China has 30 times as many deaths per automobile as the US, 70,000 traffic deaths in 1997.
China reverses its ban on Amway. Not that these two stories are in any way related.
From an LA Times story: "Emmy Award-winning effects supervisor Ron Thornton said his best work last year was creating a computer-animated, 9-foot tall, three-legged alien for UPN network's "Star Trek: Voyager." But another assignment kept him tied up for a couple of days digitally removing armpit stains from an actor who had been perspiring heavily."
Iran hangs a Bahai for converting a Muslim.
A Federal judge strikes down NJ's law against pornography at the state prison for chronic sex offenders.
Stupid medical idea of the week: a company in Britain is charging 300 pounds for home paternity testing. Just send off a sample of the DNA from your alleged offspring and find out if you're really the father.
Monday, July 13, 1998
Today, our news is all military. Everyone should read the series (a bit long for me to mail out) in the Washington Post on the role of US special forces in training all sorts of scummy armies abroad. It's much more extensive than I had realized, including every single Latin American country. Under the guise of training them in fighting drug traffic, we are giving them the same old counter-insurgency training, including countries that were supposed to be under US sanction.
On Salon today, Christopher Hitchens, famous for trashing Mother Theresa, goes after the Dalai Lama, who is evidently a shit. And supports India's nuclear policy, by the way.
British tv says that in January 1995 Russia's hi-tech early warning system (a couple of guys with binoculars would be my guess) figured that they were under nuclear missile attack by the US (actually a Norwegian weather research rocket) and Yeltsin initiated all but the last step in launching a retaliation.
I'll leave you on that thought while I'm on vacation. I'm going to a wedding in Redondo Beach, which I think means that there'll be a Best Dude. Should be like totally bitchin'.
On Salon today, Christopher Hitchens, famous for trashing Mother Theresa, goes after the Dalai Lama, who is evidently a shit. And supports India's nuclear policy, by the way.
British tv says that in January 1995 Russia's hi-tech early warning system (a couple of guys with binoculars would be my guess) figured that they were under nuclear missile attack by the US (actually a Norwegian weather research rocket) and Yeltsin initiated all but the last step in launching a retaliation.
I'll leave you on that thought while I'm on vacation. I'm going to a wedding in Redondo Beach, which I think means that there'll be a Best Dude. Should be like totally bitchin'.
Saturday, July 11, 1998
Dollywood is getting a new roller coaster, in the shape of....
A member of the Russian Duma has been demanding an investigation of reports that Yeltsin was replaced by a double two years ago. OK, nobody believed me when I said that two years ago I saw someone in the hospital who looked exactly like Yeltsin, but boy am I vindicated now.
Speaking of the former super-power, the next launch of a crew to the Mir (motto: don't laugh, it's paid for) has been delayed 10 days because the space agency failed to pay its electricity bills.
A member of the Russian Duma has been demanding an investigation of reports that Yeltsin was replaced by a double two years ago. OK, nobody believed me when I said that two years ago I saw someone in the hospital who looked exactly like Yeltsin, but boy am I vindicated now.
Speaking of the former super-power, the next launch of a crew to the Mir (motto: don't laugh, it's paid for) has been delayed 10 days because the space agency failed to pay its electricity bills.
Friday, July 10, 1998
From a Village Voice review of "Armageddon": "Like being yelled at by idiots for 144 minutes"
It won't stand a week, but a panel of the 10th circuit court forbids prosecutors giving leniency to witnesses in exchange for testimony under the federal bribery laws. I approve wholeheartedly, at least until defense attorneys have the same ability to hand get-out-jail-free cards to potential witnesses.
Nice to see just how long outrage at India and Pakistan lasted. Right up until the Iowa wheat harvest came in.
It won't stand a week, but a panel of the 10th circuit court forbids prosecutors giving leniency to witnesses in exchange for testimony under the federal bribery laws. I approve wholeheartedly, at least until defense attorneys have the same ability to hand get-out-jail-free cards to potential witnesses.
Nice to see just how long outrage at India and Pakistan lasted. Right up until the Iowa wheat harvest came in.
Monday, July 06, 1998
Mon, 6 Jul 1998
There is a story on the BBC, playing even as I write, about sexual harassment in the Canadian military. Someone is heard to suggest that the cases should be handled by the police. Oh yeah, sexual harassment investigated by the "Mounties".
Clinton's lawyer Robert Bennett is also representing the Zapruder family, which wants the government to pay it $70 million for those 26 seconds of film. Bennett compares the film to the original manuscript of the Declaration of Independence. Right.
The London Times also has a story tomorrow about this subject, which focuses on the accusation that Pete Wilson and Dan Lungren have let the incredible violence at Corcoran, detailed in the LA Times article below, go on and on and obstructed the investigation, which has been basically run by the prison guards' union, which happens to be a big campaign supporter of both of them, and has ensured that the only guard punished was the whistle blower. The Times, being naive in matters American, thinks that this will be a problem for Lungren's campaign. Knowing Lungren, I'll bet we're gonna see ads with him taking credit for prisoners being raped and strangled. And I'll bet somewhere in the Republican party platform there's something about bringing back Gladiator Nights at Corcoran and putting it on pay per view and using the funds brought in to reduce the car tax. How much would you pay to see a fight to the death between Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan?
Clinton's lawyer Robert Bennett is also representing the Zapruder family, which wants the government to pay it $70 million for those 26 seconds of film. Bennett compares the film to the original manuscript of the Declaration of Independence. Right.
The London Times also has a story tomorrow about this subject, which focuses on the accusation that Pete Wilson and Dan Lungren have let the incredible violence at Corcoran, detailed in the LA Times article below, go on and on and obstructed the investigation, which has been basically run by the prison guards' union, which happens to be a big campaign supporter of both of them, and has ensured that the only guard punished was the whistle blower. The Times, being naive in matters American, thinks that this will be a problem for Lungren's campaign. Knowing Lungren, I'll bet we're gonna see ads with him taking credit for prisoners being raped and strangled. And I'll bet somewhere in the Republican party platform there's something about bringing back Gladiator Nights at Corcoran and putting it on pay per view and using the funds brought in to reduce the car tax. How much would you pay to see a fight to the death between Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan?
Sunday, July 05, 1998
The USDA approves a new vegetable for federally-funded school lunches: salsa. But not ketchup.
The word on the street (well, the unpaved dirt road) in Nigeria is that Abacha actually died from an overdose of Viagra.
I just celebrated the 4th by watching "1984". At least we didn't wind up being ruled by Big Brother but by Bob's Big Boy.
The word on the street (well, the unpaved dirt road) in Nigeria is that Abacha actually died from an overdose of Viagra.
I just celebrated the 4th by watching "1984". At least we didn't wind up being ruled by Big Brother but by Bob's Big Boy.
Tuesday, June 30, 1998
Clinton keeps talking about China entering the 21st century. Of course, by the Chinese calendar, that would be 698 B.C.
Yesterday, Kenneth Starr argued in Federal appeals court about whether lawyer-client privilege was more important than getting at the truth. Some of the truth which his people have been trying to get out, include these questions to Sidney Blumenthal before the grand jury: did you and Hillary Clinton ever discuss whether Bill had a sex addiction? does Bill believe that oral sex is sex? does his religion include sexual intercourse?
The Post Office is to give some of its workers the day off in honor of Nixon's funeral, 4 years late. These were the people who already had the day off that day, and so didn't get the day off that the people who didn't have the day off got off. Head...hurts.
Speaking of Nixon, I saw a Nixon scholar on C-SPAN saying that the technology now exists to recover the missing 18 1/2 minutes, but a) it would cost about $10,000, b) the archives won't let anyone do that sort of thing to the originals.
Kentucky is to stop letting people below the age of 16 get married.
Yesterday, Kenneth Starr argued in Federal appeals court about whether lawyer-client privilege was more important than getting at the truth. Some of the truth which his people have been trying to get out, include these questions to Sidney Blumenthal before the grand jury: did you and Hillary Clinton ever discuss whether Bill had a sex addiction? does Bill believe that oral sex is sex? does his religion include sexual intercourse?
The Post Office is to give some of its workers the day off in honor of Nixon's funeral, 4 years late. These were the people who already had the day off that day, and so didn't get the day off that the people who didn't have the day off got off. Head...hurts.
Speaking of Nixon, I saw a Nixon scholar on C-SPAN saying that the technology now exists to recover the missing 18 1/2 minutes, but a) it would cost about $10,000, b) the archives won't let anyone do that sort of thing to the originals.
Kentucky is to stop letting people below the age of 16 get married.
Monday, June 29, 1998
The Northern Irish Assembly has been elected. Of 108 members, 14 will be women and 8 will be terrorists. 3 will be survivors of terrorist attacks. Buckle your seatbelts.
Just when you thought Texas would execute anyone at all, they spare the life of a guy for one of the 600 murders he's confessed to. Seems he was at the other end of the country at the time. Not that that's ever stopped Texas before.
One present the Chinese presented Clinton with, that seems to have gone unremarked in the US press: the execution of a Chinese who killed an American tourist.
Just when you thought Texas would execute anyone at all, they spare the life of a guy for one of the 600 murders he's confessed to. Seems he was at the other end of the country at the time. Not that that's ever stopped Texas before.
One present the Chinese presented Clinton with, that seems to have gone unremarked in the US press: the execution of a Chinese who killed an American tourist.
Wednesday, June 24, 1998
If, like me, you read the NY Times and Washington Post and actually expect to get the news, you've been driven crazy by reports that John McCain told a joke that no one in either paper is willing to print, although they're all willing to talk about it. So here it is: "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Janet Reno is her father." Big deal.
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