Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Woke up this morning, got yourself a WMD

Kitty Kelley tells Salon that “You start out looking at the Bush family like it’s ‘The Donna Reed Show’ and then you see it’s ‘The Sopranos.’”

OK, Barbara Bush is Livia, Poppy is Uncle Junior, Shrub is A.J. (or Christopher, but I really have to go with A.J.), Condoleezza is Dr. Melfi, Rummy is Silvio, Ashcroft is Paulie Walnuts, and for those playing along at home, I’m taking nominations for Big Pussie. (I am immune on this to the criticism that I have too much time on my hands: I’ve just seen a website with the Internationale translated into Klingon.)
Update: Colin Powell is Artie Bucco, Dick Cheney is...I dunno, Janice? Ralphie?

Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One:
Salon: “In one of the creepier passages of the book, a family gathering from hell at Kennebunkport, Maine, Barbara is shown mercilessly baiting her dry-drunk son, then governor of Texas, as a teetotaling ‘Chosen One’”.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Precision

A word about the latest US bombing of Fallujah: you don’t get to call it “precision bombing” unless you’re admitting that you intended to blow up that ambulance.

David Corn describes Colin Powell as “a boxer who has taken one too many dives.”

The World's Shortest Blog, which uses the same template I do, which is slightly disconcerting to me, offers a bounty to whoever publicly asks Chimpy how many times he’s been arrested.

I knew if I procrastinated long enough about doing the research to write again about Tom Coburn, R candidate for Senate in Oklahoma and loon, someone would do it for me. In addition to the homophobia (Bush appointed him to the AIDS commission), Schindler’s List, death penalty for abortion doctors and whatnot, Salon has discovered that he once sterilized a young woman without her consent, and illegally charged Medicare for the procedure.

Putin looks at Chechen insurrection and decides that the appropriate response is to destroy what little regional autonomy and democracy remains, and take more power into his own ice-cold hands. The 89 regional governors, currently elected, would be appointed, by him. And Duma elections would be entirely by proportional representation (currently it’s chosen half by PR, half by first-past-the-post), but with the same 7% threshold for a party to enter the Duma, making it in practice less democratic, and of course more pliable. Under Putin’s plan, voters would choose from among parties, not individual candidates, a system in place only in Israel and I think Japan (and remember that many Russian mafia types have bought their way onto party lists in order to get parliamentary immunity from prosecution). Putin is playing on a mythical conspiracy to break up Russia, the answer to which is “unity,” by which he means dictatorship. Or the terrorists win.

And he wants “a single organisation capable of not only dealing with terror attacks but also working to avert them, destroy criminals in their hideouts, and if necessary, abroad.” The Guardian suggests that this is a version of the American Department of Homeland Security; I’d suggest a comparison closer to home, f’r instance the KGB or the Okhranka.

I'm Batman


In Britain, an organization of divorced fathers who claim they have inadequate access to their children has pulled off a series of stunts. Today, a man in a Batman costume climbed over the fence at Buckingham Palace, and stood on the ledge next to the balcony the queen (who can in no way be mistaken for Catwoman) usually uses to wave at the peasants. What I liked in the BBC report was the changing of the guards going on below just as normal.

This is to show you how decent I am

The North Koreans say they weren’t testing a nuke, just blowing up a mountain. I’m not reassured (reassurance is a motif in this post, by the way), although the argument that they wouldn’t conduct a nuclear test that near to the Chinese border carries a bit more weight, although most of NK is near China. I’ve already dismissed the US gov’s denials of a nuke test because it’s just not a subject I trust this admin to tell the truth about. What’s really worrisome is that I don’t know who I would trust to tell the truth about this. So on to the next scary would-be nuclear power....

...NYT headline: “Iran Says It Will Reject Limits On Its Mastery of Atomic Science.” That’s very tv-movie, very after-school-special: plucky little Iran’s can-do spirit inspires it to surmount all obstacles and limitations in a heart-warming story...

Iran insists that its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes, pointing out that the Ayatollah Khamenei has issued a fatwa banning nukes. Only Iran would think that any statement containing the word “fatwa” would be reassuring.

Comical Allawi, interviewed by the London Times, says that it was his decision to dissolve the Fallujah Brigades. He also told them an anecdote to show his soft, cuddly side:

Speaking in near-fluent English after years in exile, Dr Allawi displayed an ability to laugh at himself, rueing a moment of temper at an aide which left him with a broken bone in his wrist from slamming his fist down on a table.

He turned the injury to PR advantage, laughing: “This is to show you how decent I am. He (the aide) told me afterwards ‘You should have hit me’ and I said ‘No, we don’t do this’.”

Only an Iraqi would think that this story would reassure anyone.

From the Sunday Times of London: “Bidders on the eBay internet auction site have offered $10 for bits of wind from Hurricane Frances, which devastated parts of Florida last weekend. Photographs on the site show collectors scooping up the wind in four Tupperware containers.”

I think we certainly increased the level of animosity that existed

In one of many instances today of US forces in Iraq killing civilians, after a Bradley Fighting Vehicle was destroyed (and well after its soldiers had been evacuated), a US helicopter gunship fired in pique on a crowd celebrating around the burning vehicle, kills 13 and managing to shoot an Al-Arabiya reporter--as he was broadcasting. He shouted, “I’m dying, I’m dying,” and then he did.

The US has used 2 different excuses for the incident, I’m not sure in what order: 1) shots were fired at the helicopter, so it was self-defense. This is disputed by witnesses, and anyway I’m pretty sure a helicopter could, you know, fly away, without having to fire into a crowd that included children. 2) To stop the Bradley being looted. Again, you don’t fire on a crowd for that; even without the fire damage, a Bradley isn’t worth 13 dead Iraqis, unless of course you place a really, really low valuation on Iraqi lives.

Juan Cole is particularly good today on the violence in Iraq, and don’t miss the letter to him from Erik Gustafson about the US’s under-counting of American casualties.

Seymour Hersh’s book, out tomorrow, says that in February 2002 Bush signed a secret order that “I determine that none of the provisions of Geneva apply to our conflict with al-Qaida in Afghanistan or elsewhere throughout the world.”

Using bizarre logic, a WaPo editorial says that the fact that the Guantanamo review tribunals have ruled 1 detainee not to be an “enemy combatant” proves that they aren’t a mere rubber stamp. That’s 1 out of 30. Oh yes, the system works.

There hasn’t been much examination of the failed Fallujah Brigade experiment (which I discussed 2 days ago). However, Marine Corps Gen. James Conway is publicly distancing himself from the strategy pursued in Fallujah when he was in charge of the region, blaming his superiors for the failure to pacify the city. “When we were told to attack Fallujah, I think we certainly increased the level of animosity that existed.” Ya think? He claims the Marines had a more subtle plan, but were overruled after those mercenaries were burned; like the helicopter today, the desire for revenge overcame common sense and humanity.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Season of hope

9/11 nostalgia has spread to the Democratic Party: A WaPo headline and sub-head: “Edwards Recalls Unity After Sept. 11 Attacks” “‘We Want That One America, Senator Tells Black Caucus.” And inside that story, Edwards is quoted as saying, “This season of hope should not and does not have to end tomorrow. We do not have to wait for yet another anniversary to come and go.” It’s supposed to be Christmas that you want every day to be like, doofus, not September 11! Season of hope, he called it!!! Like, we hope we’re not in a plane that’s hijacked and flown into a building, and we hope we’re not in the building, is that what you mean? Cuz it sounds like you just said you wouldn’t mind another terrorist attack, just for the feel-good factor.

If it’s the unity that comes from being scared shitless that you want so badly, North Korea successfully testing a nuclear bomb should do the trick.

Speaking of the feel-good factor, Tom DeLay dismisses the about-to-expire ban on assault weapons as “a feel-good piece of legislation.” Yeah, cause it feels so good when ten bullets from an automatic rifle don’t rip into your body.

Back to North Korea: while not unexpected, this is something the Bushies seem to have done nothing to prevent. It’s another Bush-sees-a-report-titled-“Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside United States”-and-goes-on-a-month’s-vacation-anyway moment. Not to be crude, but this incredible threat to the world’s safety should be a perfect stick for Kerry to beat Flight Suit Boy with. But he won’t.

(Later): the US is claiming the 2-mile wide mushroom cloud was probably from a forest fire, and certainly not from a nuke. Because NK would celebrate its national founding day by setting a forest fire, not by testing a nuclear weapon.

Speaking of dangerous clouds, the one from the Twin Towers on 9/11 was spectacularly toxic, it was breathed in by hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers, and its effects were not studied by the Bush admin, and/or were actively covered up. The death toll from those effects may ultimately match those on 9/11.

Everyone I shot deserved it


The BBC’s James Naughtie has a book out this week which will claim that Colin Powell called the neo-cons “fucking crazies” while speaking to the British foreign minister.

An Observer article on American snipers in Iraq. Key quote: “Everyone I shot deserved it.”

British vocabulary word of the day: “dogging” = having sex in public with strangers, in view of others. Evidently it’s all the rage in English parks, which are named in the article. Plan your vacations accordingly.

Flip flop in Fallujah

California bans necrophilia. Plan your vacations accordingly.

The attempt at the Vietnamization of Fallujah is declared a failure, and the “Fallujah Brigade” dissolved. This was the body created to provide the thinnest of cover for the US’s failure to subdue the city. The US gave a motley group of insurgents, members of Saddam Hussein’s military weapons and vehicles, which they funnily enough don’t seem to be giving back now that they’ve been fired, and put them under the command of a whole series of former generals. It was always unlikely that such a body would serve the interests of the US rather than those of the Resistance, and they haven’t. If they had, the residents of Fallujah would have torn them to pieces. Since Western reporters haven’t been able to get near Fallujah, little has been written about this experiment.

I’ve lost track of the generals appointed to lead the brigade; the LA Times refers to a General Wael as “the brigade’s latest leader,” without mentioning his predecessors, the first of whom was evidently appointed without anyone looking at his file and who then showed up in a Republican Guard uniform and was quickly fired, to be replaced by another of Saddam’s 11,000 generals, who they thought had been an exile, but really wasn’t... for all I know, since then they’ve been replaced once a week, like No. 2’s on “The Prisoner.”

The LAT says the decision to dissolve the brigade was “agreed to by the interim Iraqi government and the Marines,” which makes the decision sound immaculately conceived. Basically, the US just repeated the error it made in dissolving the Iraqi army, only this time the weapons the cashiered troops are bringing with them into the resistance were provided by the American taxpayers. The US has returned to the time-honored method of winning the hearts and minds of Fallujans, bombing the shit out of them.

Does it rank up there with chopping someone’s head off on television?

It sounded too bad-spy-novel to be true, but reporters (2 of them)[the WaPo editorial I hadn’t yet read when I wrote that doesn’t know of the second one] headed towards Beslan to cover the hostage-taking were really and truly slipped tranquilizers.

AP: “Rumsfeld, responding to allegations that he fostered a climate that led to the prisoner-abuse scandal, said yesterday that the military’s mistreatment of detainees was not as bad as what terrorists have done. ‘Does it rank up there with chopping someone’s head off on television?’ he asked. ‘It doesn’t.’”

Are those really the only choices on offer? Naked human pyramids or decapitation? That’s almost as bad a choice as Bush or Kerry.
[Update: Slate’s Today’s Papers terms this “the lowest common abomination.”]

Friday, September 10, 2004

The proof is complete, If only I’ve stated it thrice

It’s that time again, another September 11, and doesn’t it seem that the events of 9/11/01 have been transmuted into Republican Party property, so that it becomes increasingly hard for the rest of us to commemorate the loss of life without being in some way on the defensive? (Kerry, with his unerring populism, will be honoring the dead at the... Boston Opera House). Robert Fisk notes that the oddness of the path by which the US is commemorating by bombing Fallujah, a place very few of us had heard of 3 years ago, in what seems to have become the “war on terror,” which used to be the “war on terrorism,” but in a twist Orwell did not predict, we are gradually dropping from political discourse every word, like terrorism, that George Bush cannot pronounce. In a second Bush term (heaven forfend), people who pronounce the word nuclear correctly will be flogged in the town square.

What Fisk ignores is the indubitable fact that Dick Cheney has said that Iraq was a sanctuary for Al Qaida. It is indubitable because Dick Cheney keeps repeating it, which is all the proof needed by the Bushies:
“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.”
(WaPo: “Five times in his speech in West Virginia, Bush spoke of making the country and the world ‘safer.’”)

The unicorn is a mythical beast

The Sudanese are responding that there is no genocide--just like there were no WMDs in Iraq, their foreign minister says. Or alligators in the sewers. Or unicorns in the garden. (I guess the Thurber “fable for our time” isn’t directly relevant, but I like it).

Actually, while Powell acknowledged the existence of genocide, he said that “No new action is dictated by this determination.” Genocide is still, like, bad, isn’t it?

Possibly, but our politicians’ focus is elsewhere. Imagine if the energy and political firepower currently being focused on the height of podiums and the temperature of the room in the presidential debates (the NYT reports that the negotiating teams put forth by the Kerry and Bush camps include 3 governors--current governors, mind you--and a former secretary of state. Just show up and debate the issues, how bloody hard could that be?) were focused on the Sudan. Or, with the assault-rifle ban due to expire Monday, there was Sen. Larry Craig on McNeil-Lehrer, explaining how the Senate was too busy to debate loser bills and had more important things to do. Like voting on a flag-burning amendment to the constitution, gay marriage, etc etc. The awesome disproportion in attention and resources--the Bush & Kerry campaign budgets must be larger than the budgets of some African countries--and the laser-like focus on the utterly trivial does not speak especially well for the democratic representative system.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Not just random violence

A New Statesman editorial (link goes to this story for the next week only) on the fact that the Beslan hostage-takers, like the Abu Ghraib guards, took pictures of their victims:

Once, the instincts of people who did terrible things were to destroy the evidence; even the Nazis tried to cover up the Holocaust. Now, depravity shows its face proudly to the world, partly as a kind of existential statement, partly as another branch of the public relations industry. My grievance must be greater than yours, people seem to say, because I will go to greater lengths in pursuit of it. Just as other sections of the media industry resort to ever greater sensation to command attention - bigger newspaper headlines, more violent films, more pornographic advertisements, more intimate reality TV - so now do terrorists.
Colin Powell declares Darfur to be genocide. This might be a good time to point out, as I like to do every so often, that in 1969 Powell did the first “investigation” of My Lai, and declared that no massacre had taken place, and that the relations between US troops and local Vietnamese were excellent. Just sayin’. This time, though, he actually investigated before issuing his findings.

Sudan is not happy, and says foreigners should not “put oil on the fire.” Oil, you say... Now you’re speaking the Bush administration’s language.

Powell says, “This was a coordinated effort, not just random violence.” Just? JUST?!?

Treasury Secretary John Snow was in Florida today, talking about all the sanctions we’ve got on Cuba, and the new ones they’re adding. I’m pretty sure they’re more rigorous than the sanctions Powell is talking about putting on Sudan for, you know, genocide.

Naomi Klein writes that after 9/11, Bush looked for a political philosophy (stick with me, it gets more plausible), and found it in Sharon’s Likud party:
In the three years since, the Bush White House has applied this logic with chilling consistency to its global war on terror - complete with the pathologising of the “Muslim mind”. It was the guiding philosophy in Afghanistan and Iraq, and may well extend to Iran and Syria. It’s not simply that Bush sees America’s role as protecting Israel from a hostile Arab world. It’s that he has cast the US in the same role in which Israel casts itself, facing the same threat. In this narrative, the US is fighting a never-ending battle for its survival against irrational forces that seek its total extermination.
And now, she adds, Russia is also adopting the “Likudization narrative.”

Now go away before I taunt you a second time

Tom Ridge will today declare September National Preparedness Month. Today. The ninth. Preparedness. Can’t make this shit up.

A gazillion dollars in military spending every year, and this is what it comes down to: “The loudspeakers atop the Humvee crackled to life: ‘The Taliban are women! They're bitches! If they were real men, they'd stop hiding under their burkas and they'd come out and fight! I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.’” OK, I may have tampered with the quote slightly.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Catastrophic

Kerry says that Bush made “catastrophic choices” in Iraq, where Bush says there was a “catastrophic success.” Who could have guessed that the common ground between those two would be a four-syllable word?

Salon has an exhaustive piece about Chimpy’s National Guard service, or lack thereof. If you’ve gotten tired of the story, like I had, this will revitalize your interest. This is not just about the distant past: the lies are ongoing. As new information comes out, the Bushies have had to revise their story again and again. Also, the idea that GeeDubya just wandered off one day and never bothered coming back to base--lazy and irresponsible Bush--is untenable. He actively disregarded orders, falsified paperwork, and got powerful friends to pressure his superiors.

Serbian schools drop the teaching of evolution.

Washington, Adams, Jefferson .... Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush. Maybe the Serbs have a point there.

Otherwise occupied

Russia says it is prepared to take preemptive military action against “terrorist bases” anywhere in the world, and will do so with the same level of competence shown in the Beslan crisis. OK, they didn’t say the last part, but they did reassure us that these military strikes would not involve nuclear weapons, something we weren’t even worried about right up until the second they said that.

The GAO says that Thomas Scully should repay all the salary he received as head of Medicare after he illegally ordered that actuary not to report the true cost of Bush’s drug proposals to Congress. That’s actually in the law governing the civil service. The Bush admin is refusing, citing its “executive privilege” to lie to Congress. I’m simplifying their language, but not exaggerating. If only Congress defended congressional oversight with half the energy presidents use in asserting executive privilege, an exceedingly vague and expansive term which is not in the constitution. The DHS investigation of this incident insisted in July that Scully had “the final authority to determine the flow of information to Congress.”


The ONION:

Bush Campaign More Thought Out Than Iraq War

WASHINGTON, DC—Military and political strategists agreed Monday that President Bush's re-election campaign has been executed with greater precision than the war in Iraq. "Judging from the initial misrepresentation of intelligence data and the ongoing crisis in Najaf, I assumed the president didn't know his ass from his elbow," said Col. Dale Henderson, a military advisor during the Reagan Administration. "But on the campaign trail, he's proven himself a master of long-term planning and unflinching determination. How else can you explain his strength in the polls given this economy?" Henderson said he regrets having characterized Bush's handling of the war as "incompetent," now that he knows the president's mind was simply otherwise occupied.

We’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating

Dick “Mr. Sensitive” Cheney said today [yesterday, actually; posting to Blogspot was down for half a day; did you miss me?] that if Kerry is elected, “then the danger is that we’ll get hit again [by terrorists] and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating.” So instead we should elect the man who claimed to be president the last time there was a devastating terrorist attack? Anyway, this is so far beyond the pale of civilized political discourse that I expect a national uproar to force Cheney to resign from office and leave political life by the end of the week, starting any... minute... now....

Seriously, this is not acceptable, it’s shameful, and it occurs to me that there’s no one with the independence and stature to say that without being dismissed as partisan, at least not with the Daily Show in reruns this week (McCain doesn’t count: he only complained about the Swift Boat stuff because of his own Vietnam War background, and he made it clear that Bush’s despicable refusal to denounce the ads would not affect McCain’s support for him one iota).

1,000 dead, and the Bushies are busy claiming that since Iraq is just a part of the great big never-ending war on terror, we actually reached 1,000 some time ago. Evidently that’s supposed to make us feel better about it. Or feel nothing about it, like they seem to. So I’m sure they can tell us who #1,000 was, and how they marked his death.

Bush supporters and Bush-supporting states have substantially higher fertility rates than (in Bush states in 2000, the rate is 2.11 children/woman, Gore states 1.89), according to a WaPo story I missed last week, giving what the article calls an “evolutionary advantage” to those who don’t believe in evolution.

Rumsfeld says that the thousands of Iraqis killed by “Iraqi forces and the coalition forces” (translation: Americans) isn’t “a lot out of 25 million people in a country.” How many dead people do you suppose he considers to be “a lot”? He also puts American deaths in perspective: sure, there 2 or 3 US soldiers are killed every day, but “if you think about the fact that we have thousands of patrols every day...and look at the number of incidents, they’re relatively small.” So that’s all right then.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

All 9/11, All the Time

The Bush admin calls for a political settlement over Chechnya or, in other words, a more sensitive war on terrorism.

In a NYT story on how Congressional R’s plan to force a lot of votes on defense issues, Bill Frist’s spokesmodel says “It will be all 9/11, all the time.” A new slogan: “Vote Republican: All 9/11, All the Time.”


The front-page picture that got the Izvestia editor fired.

What's the Russian for tit for tat?

During the Beslan crisis, the LA Times reports, Russian troops took their own hostages, 40 or so relations--including children--of Chechen rebel leaders. The Russians claim that it was protective custody, because those leaders planned to kill their relatives and blame it on Russian security forces. It all makes sense now.

Let’s not feel too superior: the US has done exactly the same thing in Iraq (not sure about Afghanistan), including the wife of the Saddam Hussein aide who was just reported as captured, and then not captured. His wife was seized in December, and the stories I saw that mentioned that fact didn’t say if she was ever released. Does anyone know?

From the Ironic Times: “CORRECTION: Last week, due to a production error, we quoted President Bush describing his Iraq policy as a “successful catastrophe.” In fact, he described it as a “catastrophic success.” We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.”

Monday, September 06, 2004

Ugly processes which have their own logic

Press Association headline: “Bitterness Mounts in Russia.” This is news?

Putin, the Bitter-Guy-in-Chief, berates Western countries for calling Chechen rebels “rebels” rather than “terrorists.” Of course, when Russia was downplaying the Chechen uprising, it liked to call them “bandits.” He denied that there is any relationship between Russian policies in Chechnya and the Beslan incident. Well, except that the latter justifies the former: “Just imagine that people who shoot children in the back came to power anywhere on our planet. Just ask yourself that, and you will have no more questions about our policy in Chechnya.” So genocide doesn’t justify terrorism, but terrorism justifies genocide, is that right?

Asked about human rights violations by Russian forces in Chechnya, he said that the lower-level people responsible for them are always punished, but “Compare the torture of Iraqi prisoners. This hasn’t happened on the direction of the top US leaders, but because of how individual people behaved in these circumstances. Those who are to blame must be punished.” “In war there are ugly processes which have their own logic.”

The Russian media has begun to do
its job, criticizing the government’s actions and analyzing its lies, and some, including the editor of Izvestia, have been fired for it. They’re asking where some of the dead bodies have disappeared to, saying that the rebels/terrorists/bandits/actress/models were in fact willing to negotiate, that no foreigners were present, and that the bloodbath was not caused by explosives going off but by locals with guns trying to prevent the school being stormed.

Putin refuses to hold a public inquiry.

Kerry says Iraq is “the wrong war, in the wrong place at the wrong time,” and he plans to pull out within four years of taking office. Five, tops. Six, at the outside....

A month after being charged with murder, Salem Chalabi has been removed as head of the Saddam Hussein tribunal.