Thursday, September 16, 2004

And Wolfowitz can come back from Canada. Wait, on second thoughts...

John Edwards promises “There will be no draft when John Kerry is president.” So Bush can stop calling up Texas politicians to get him into the national guard, Cheney can stop trying to get Lynne pregnant, and Rumsfeld...well, let’s just say that if you thought Klinger looked bad in a dress...!

You would be surprised at how far a can of orange soda would go

American journalists have been given a tour of the new and improved Abu Ghraib. So improved, according to its new dungeon-keeper and grand inquisitor, Maj.-Gen. Geoffrey Miller, that the reforms are “restoring the honor of America.” So what changes have completely wiped out the stain of prisoners beaten to death, sexual humiliation, make-the-prisoners-pee contests and naked human pyramids? Actually, nothing much that I can see from the NYT article. I’d be curious to see what the other reporters have written. There is this quote:
“You would be surprised at how far a can of orange soda would go,” said Lt. Col. Mark Costello, who oversees interrogations at Abu Ghraib.
How far a can of orange soda can go... where? No, no, Col. Costello, that is the OLD Abu Ghraib. Please stop inserting soda cans into prisoners’ rectums.

If foxes could vote

The Hungarian prime-minister-presumptive Ferenc Gyurcsany says that the Socialist Party was right to replace his predecessor with a younger man (he is 43), just as “anyone whose wife is getting old deserves a younger one.” He is on his third wife and, yeah, about ten years younger.

Coincidentally, the American model of democracy was rejected twice yesterday. Responding to criticism of Putin’s plans, Russia’s foreign minister Sergei Lavrov said, “it is strange that, while talking about certain ‘pulling back’ on some of the democratic reforms in the Russian federation, [Powell] tried to assert yet one more time the thought that democracy can only be copied from someone else’s model.” And Chinese President Hu Jintao told a meeting of Communist Party leaders that Western-style democracy was a “dead end” (or “blind alley” depending on the translation).

A letter to the London Times says “Sir, If foxes could vote they would campaign to keep hunting”.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

God Save the Hunting

James Wolcott comments that the cable news channels have been attacking every detail of Kitty Kelley’s book when interviewing her, showing a sudden concern with, ya know, journalism, previously lacking. “For years they’ve been hyping and peddling every variety of fishy speculation and brazen assertion about the Clintons, Vince Foster, Monica, Gary Condit-Chandra Levy, Laci Peterson, this rape case, that abduction case; they’ve rolled out the ratty carpet for every Swift Boat slob; and now, now, they decide to get loftily anal.”

I just wanted to repeat the phrase “loftily anal.”

Bush finally responds to Putin’s plan to make himself tsar by saying it “could undermine democracy.” Ya think? He added, “As governments fight the enemies of democracy, they must uphold the principles of democracy.” In what sense are the Chechen rebels “enemies of democracy”? They couldn’t care less about how Russia is ruled, they just want to stop being a colony of Russia.

One thing that bothers me about Putin’s tsarization plan is that he can achieve it by a simple vote of the Duma.

North Ossetia’s leader, who fired his ministers after the Beslan siege, has appointed a new one, promoting to Minister for Culture and Mass Communications the press secretary who lied about the number of hostages there were.

Pakistan’s Pervaiz Musharraf goes back on his promise to stop being army chief at the same time as president.

Another security breach in Britain, as 5 supporters of fox-murder invade the House of Commons while it is debating banning fox-murder (which it does). A subtle hint as to how this happened is to be found in the Guardian: “In the Commons, the man in charge of security is the Serjeant at Arms, Sir Michael Cummins, who wears breeches, stockings, and a tunic, carries a sword, and sits in a special box in the chamber.” Sadly, Sir Michael did not use his sword on the toffs, who were wearing t-shirts depicting Tony Blair in horns, and the words “FCUK your ban. I’ll keep hunting” on the front, and Cherie Blair as the queen with “God Save The Hunting” on the back. (Pictures here.) Outside, protestors fought the police, some of whom were on horseback, but I think such irony is lost on the hunt protesters, who regard the fox-hunting issue with the same fanaticism as anti-abortion activists in the US.

Last week the House passed a provision preventing state, federal or local authorities requiring hospitals or doctors to provide abortions, even for rape or medical emergencies, or to give referrals to someone who will.

Kofi Annan says the Iraq war was illegal under the UN Charter, and not sanctioned by the Security Council. Might have been nice if he’d said something before.


Ariel Sharon, who again issued a veiled threat to assassinate Arafat yesterday, today said he plans to tear up the US “road map” and keep troops in military occupation of Palestine.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Stockpiles, stockpiles, stockpiles. Isn’t that a funny-sounding word? Stockpiles.

Last week, Dick “Mr. Sensitive” Cheney said that if Kerry is elected, the terrorists will strike America again. Yesterday he threatened the entire world with the consequences of not lining up behind Flight Suit Boy, using Beslan as a cautionary tale. He told a “town hall meeting” in Ottumwa, Iowa, Radar’s home town:
“I think a lot of our European friends have been somewhat ambivalent about this whole proposition with respect to how we deal with these terrorist attacks. I think some have hoped that if they kept their heads down and stayed out of the line of fire, they wouldn’t get hit. I think what happened in Russia now demonstrates pretty conclusively that everybody is a target, that Russia, of course, did not support us in Iraq. They did not get involved in sending troops there. They’ve gotten hit anyway. And I think people are back sort of reassessing now, in terms of what the motives may be of the people who are launching these attacks or using these kinds of tactics against our people.”
“Batman,” the guy who scaled Buckingham Palace to protest his inadequate access to his first 2 children, has been released on bail, only to find out that his current girlfriend is leaving him (and selling her story to the tabloids) because he spends all his time on fathers’ rights campaigns and not much with his 7-month-old daughter. Asked to comment, Bats refused on the grounds that it was a private matter, which is an odd comment from the man who dressed up as a rodent to show what an excellent father he is...well, maybe not that odd after all.

Japan has 23,000 centenarians, 18 per 100,000, compared to 10 in the US.

We all know that one of the weapons the Bushies use in their War on Truth is repetition. (Previous post. Other previous post. I can use repetition too.) But Colin Powell put repetition to innovative use today, in testimony before the Senate Government Affairs Committee, hoping that if he said the word “stockpiles” over and over, it would eventually become meaningless. Usually they avoid congressional oversight by distracting committee members with bright shiny objects, but I’m sure this works just as well:
“There was every reason to believe there were stockpiles. There was a question about the size of stockpiles, but we all believed there were stockpiles.”

However, Powell said in response to questions from Sen. Susan Collins R-Maine, “it turned out that we have not found any stockpiles.”

Moreover, Powell said, “I think it is unlikely that we will find any stockpiles.”
Headline of the day (AP): “Trial Begins for Farmer in Manure Deaths.”

The Telegraph misses the real news: “Energy-efficient pedestrian crossing lights that Los Angeles bought for £6 million will have to be replaced because the symbols are too dim to read.” The real news: pedestrians? in LA?

Woke up this morning, got yourself a WMD

Kitty Kelley tells Salon that “You start out looking at the Bush family like it’s ‘The Donna Reed Show’ and then you see it’s ‘The Sopranos.’”

OK, Barbara Bush is Livia, Poppy is Uncle Junior, Shrub is A.J. (or Christopher, but I really have to go with A.J.), Condoleezza is Dr. Melfi, Rummy is Silvio, Ashcroft is Paulie Walnuts, and for those playing along at home, I’m taking nominations for Big Pussie. (I am immune on this to the criticism that I have too much time on my hands: I’ve just seen a website with the Internationale translated into Klingon.)
Update: Colin Powell is Artie Bucco, Dick Cheney is...I dunno, Janice? Ralphie?

Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One:
Salon: “In one of the creepier passages of the book, a family gathering from hell at Kennebunkport, Maine, Barbara is shown mercilessly baiting her dry-drunk son, then governor of Texas, as a teetotaling ‘Chosen One’”.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Precision

A word about the latest US bombing of Fallujah: you don’t get to call it “precision bombing” unless you’re admitting that you intended to blow up that ambulance.

David Corn describes Colin Powell as “a boxer who has taken one too many dives.”

The World's Shortest Blog, which uses the same template I do, which is slightly disconcerting to me, offers a bounty to whoever publicly asks Chimpy how many times he’s been arrested.

I knew if I procrastinated long enough about doing the research to write again about Tom Coburn, R candidate for Senate in Oklahoma and loon, someone would do it for me. In addition to the homophobia (Bush appointed him to the AIDS commission), Schindler’s List, death penalty for abortion doctors and whatnot, Salon has discovered that he once sterilized a young woman without her consent, and illegally charged Medicare for the procedure.

Putin looks at Chechen insurrection and decides that the appropriate response is to destroy what little regional autonomy and democracy remains, and take more power into his own ice-cold hands. The 89 regional governors, currently elected, would be appointed, by him. And Duma elections would be entirely by proportional representation (currently it’s chosen half by PR, half by first-past-the-post), but with the same 7% threshold for a party to enter the Duma, making it in practice less democratic, and of course more pliable. Under Putin’s plan, voters would choose from among parties, not individual candidates, a system in place only in Israel and I think Japan (and remember that many Russian mafia types have bought their way onto party lists in order to get parliamentary immunity from prosecution). Putin is playing on a mythical conspiracy to break up Russia, the answer to which is “unity,” by which he means dictatorship. Or the terrorists win.

And he wants “a single organisation capable of not only dealing with terror attacks but also working to avert them, destroy criminals in their hideouts, and if necessary, abroad.” The Guardian suggests that this is a version of the American Department of Homeland Security; I’d suggest a comparison closer to home, f’r instance the KGB or the Okhranka.

I'm Batman


In Britain, an organization of divorced fathers who claim they have inadequate access to their children has pulled off a series of stunts. Today, a man in a Batman costume climbed over the fence at Buckingham Palace, and stood on the ledge next to the balcony the queen (who can in no way be mistaken for Catwoman) usually uses to wave at the peasants. What I liked in the BBC report was the changing of the guards going on below just as normal.

This is to show you how decent I am

The North Koreans say they weren’t testing a nuke, just blowing up a mountain. I’m not reassured (reassurance is a motif in this post, by the way), although the argument that they wouldn’t conduct a nuclear test that near to the Chinese border carries a bit more weight, although most of NK is near China. I’ve already dismissed the US gov’s denials of a nuke test because it’s just not a subject I trust this admin to tell the truth about. What’s really worrisome is that I don’t know who I would trust to tell the truth about this. So on to the next scary would-be nuclear power....

...NYT headline: “Iran Says It Will Reject Limits On Its Mastery of Atomic Science.” That’s very tv-movie, very after-school-special: plucky little Iran’s can-do spirit inspires it to surmount all obstacles and limitations in a heart-warming story...

Iran insists that its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes, pointing out that the Ayatollah Khamenei has issued a fatwa banning nukes. Only Iran would think that any statement containing the word “fatwa” would be reassuring.

Comical Allawi, interviewed by the London Times, says that it was his decision to dissolve the Fallujah Brigades. He also told them an anecdote to show his soft, cuddly side:

Speaking in near-fluent English after years in exile, Dr Allawi displayed an ability to laugh at himself, rueing a moment of temper at an aide which left him with a broken bone in his wrist from slamming his fist down on a table.

He turned the injury to PR advantage, laughing: “This is to show you how decent I am. He (the aide) told me afterwards ‘You should have hit me’ and I said ‘No, we don’t do this’.”

Only an Iraqi would think that this story would reassure anyone.

From the Sunday Times of London: “Bidders on the eBay internet auction site have offered $10 for bits of wind from Hurricane Frances, which devastated parts of Florida last weekend. Photographs on the site show collectors scooping up the wind in four Tupperware containers.”

I think we certainly increased the level of animosity that existed

In one of many instances today of US forces in Iraq killing civilians, after a Bradley Fighting Vehicle was destroyed (and well after its soldiers had been evacuated), a US helicopter gunship fired in pique on a crowd celebrating around the burning vehicle, kills 13 and managing to shoot an Al-Arabiya reporter--as he was broadcasting. He shouted, “I’m dying, I’m dying,” and then he did.

The US has used 2 different excuses for the incident, I’m not sure in what order: 1) shots were fired at the helicopter, so it was self-defense. This is disputed by witnesses, and anyway I’m pretty sure a helicopter could, you know, fly away, without having to fire into a crowd that included children. 2) To stop the Bradley being looted. Again, you don’t fire on a crowd for that; even without the fire damage, a Bradley isn’t worth 13 dead Iraqis, unless of course you place a really, really low valuation on Iraqi lives.

Juan Cole is particularly good today on the violence in Iraq, and don’t miss the letter to him from Erik Gustafson about the US’s under-counting of American casualties.

Seymour Hersh’s book, out tomorrow, says that in February 2002 Bush signed a secret order that “I determine that none of the provisions of Geneva apply to our conflict with al-Qaida in Afghanistan or elsewhere throughout the world.”

Using bizarre logic, a WaPo editorial says that the fact that the Guantanamo review tribunals have ruled 1 detainee not to be an “enemy combatant” proves that they aren’t a mere rubber stamp. That’s 1 out of 30. Oh yes, the system works.

There hasn’t been much examination of the failed Fallujah Brigade experiment (which I discussed 2 days ago). However, Marine Corps Gen. James Conway is publicly distancing himself from the strategy pursued in Fallujah when he was in charge of the region, blaming his superiors for the failure to pacify the city. “When we were told to attack Fallujah, I think we certainly increased the level of animosity that existed.” Ya think? He claims the Marines had a more subtle plan, but were overruled after those mercenaries were burned; like the helicopter today, the desire for revenge overcame common sense and humanity.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Season of hope

9/11 nostalgia has spread to the Democratic Party: A WaPo headline and sub-head: “Edwards Recalls Unity After Sept. 11 Attacks” “‘We Want That One America, Senator Tells Black Caucus.” And inside that story, Edwards is quoted as saying, “This season of hope should not and does not have to end tomorrow. We do not have to wait for yet another anniversary to come and go.” It’s supposed to be Christmas that you want every day to be like, doofus, not September 11! Season of hope, he called it!!! Like, we hope we’re not in a plane that’s hijacked and flown into a building, and we hope we’re not in the building, is that what you mean? Cuz it sounds like you just said you wouldn’t mind another terrorist attack, just for the feel-good factor.

If it’s the unity that comes from being scared shitless that you want so badly, North Korea successfully testing a nuclear bomb should do the trick.

Speaking of the feel-good factor, Tom DeLay dismisses the about-to-expire ban on assault weapons as “a feel-good piece of legislation.” Yeah, cause it feels so good when ten bullets from an automatic rifle don’t rip into your body.

Back to North Korea: while not unexpected, this is something the Bushies seem to have done nothing to prevent. It’s another Bush-sees-a-report-titled-“Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside United States”-and-goes-on-a-month’s-vacation-anyway moment. Not to be crude, but this incredible threat to the world’s safety should be a perfect stick for Kerry to beat Flight Suit Boy with. But he won’t.

(Later): the US is claiming the 2-mile wide mushroom cloud was probably from a forest fire, and certainly not from a nuke. Because NK would celebrate its national founding day by setting a forest fire, not by testing a nuclear weapon.

Speaking of dangerous clouds, the one from the Twin Towers on 9/11 was spectacularly toxic, it was breathed in by hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers, and its effects were not studied by the Bush admin, and/or were actively covered up. The death toll from those effects may ultimately match those on 9/11.

Everyone I shot deserved it


The BBC’s James Naughtie has a book out this week which will claim that Colin Powell called the neo-cons “fucking crazies” while speaking to the British foreign minister.

An Observer article on American snipers in Iraq. Key quote: “Everyone I shot deserved it.”

British vocabulary word of the day: “dogging” = having sex in public with strangers, in view of others. Evidently it’s all the rage in English parks, which are named in the article. Plan your vacations accordingly.

Flip flop in Fallujah

California bans necrophilia. Plan your vacations accordingly.

The attempt at the Vietnamization of Fallujah is declared a failure, and the “Fallujah Brigade” dissolved. This was the body created to provide the thinnest of cover for the US’s failure to subdue the city. The US gave a motley group of insurgents, members of Saddam Hussein’s military weapons and vehicles, which they funnily enough don’t seem to be giving back now that they’ve been fired, and put them under the command of a whole series of former generals. It was always unlikely that such a body would serve the interests of the US rather than those of the Resistance, and they haven’t. If they had, the residents of Fallujah would have torn them to pieces. Since Western reporters haven’t been able to get near Fallujah, little has been written about this experiment.

I’ve lost track of the generals appointed to lead the brigade; the LA Times refers to a General Wael as “the brigade’s latest leader,” without mentioning his predecessors, the first of whom was evidently appointed without anyone looking at his file and who then showed up in a Republican Guard uniform and was quickly fired, to be replaced by another of Saddam’s 11,000 generals, who they thought had been an exile, but really wasn’t... for all I know, since then they’ve been replaced once a week, like No. 2’s on “The Prisoner.”

The LAT says the decision to dissolve the brigade was “agreed to by the interim Iraqi government and the Marines,” which makes the decision sound immaculately conceived. Basically, the US just repeated the error it made in dissolving the Iraqi army, only this time the weapons the cashiered troops are bringing with them into the resistance were provided by the American taxpayers. The US has returned to the time-honored method of winning the hearts and minds of Fallujans, bombing the shit out of them.

Does it rank up there with chopping someone’s head off on television?

It sounded too bad-spy-novel to be true, but reporters (2 of them)[the WaPo editorial I hadn’t yet read when I wrote that doesn’t know of the second one] headed towards Beslan to cover the hostage-taking were really and truly slipped tranquilizers.

AP: “Rumsfeld, responding to allegations that he fostered a climate that led to the prisoner-abuse scandal, said yesterday that the military’s mistreatment of detainees was not as bad as what terrorists have done. ‘Does it rank up there with chopping someone’s head off on television?’ he asked. ‘It doesn’t.’”

Are those really the only choices on offer? Naked human pyramids or decapitation? That’s almost as bad a choice as Bush or Kerry.
[Update: Slate’s Today’s Papers terms this “the lowest common abomination.”]

Friday, September 10, 2004

The proof is complete, If only I’ve stated it thrice

It’s that time again, another September 11, and doesn’t it seem that the events of 9/11/01 have been transmuted into Republican Party property, so that it becomes increasingly hard for the rest of us to commemorate the loss of life without being in some way on the defensive? (Kerry, with his unerring populism, will be honoring the dead at the... Boston Opera House). Robert Fisk notes that the oddness of the path by which the US is commemorating by bombing Fallujah, a place very few of us had heard of 3 years ago, in what seems to have become the “war on terror,” which used to be the “war on terrorism,” but in a twist Orwell did not predict, we are gradually dropping from political discourse every word, like terrorism, that George Bush cannot pronounce. In a second Bush term (heaven forfend), people who pronounce the word nuclear correctly will be flogged in the town square.

What Fisk ignores is the indubitable fact that Dick Cheney has said that Iraq was a sanctuary for Al Qaida. It is indubitable because Dick Cheney keeps repeating it, which is all the proof needed by the Bushies:
“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.”
(WaPo: “Five times in his speech in West Virginia, Bush spoke of making the country and the world ‘safer.’”)

The unicorn is a mythical beast

The Sudanese are responding that there is no genocide--just like there were no WMDs in Iraq, their foreign minister says. Or alligators in the sewers. Or unicorns in the garden. (I guess the Thurber “fable for our time” isn’t directly relevant, but I like it).

Actually, while Powell acknowledged the existence of genocide, he said that “No new action is dictated by this determination.” Genocide is still, like, bad, isn’t it?

Possibly, but our politicians’ focus is elsewhere. Imagine if the energy and political firepower currently being focused on the height of podiums and the temperature of the room in the presidential debates (the NYT reports that the negotiating teams put forth by the Kerry and Bush camps include 3 governors--current governors, mind you--and a former secretary of state. Just show up and debate the issues, how bloody hard could that be?) were focused on the Sudan. Or, with the assault-rifle ban due to expire Monday, there was Sen. Larry Craig on McNeil-Lehrer, explaining how the Senate was too busy to debate loser bills and had more important things to do. Like voting on a flag-burning amendment to the constitution, gay marriage, etc etc. The awesome disproportion in attention and resources--the Bush & Kerry campaign budgets must be larger than the budgets of some African countries--and the laser-like focus on the utterly trivial does not speak especially well for the democratic representative system.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Not just random violence

A New Statesman editorial (link goes to this story for the next week only) on the fact that the Beslan hostage-takers, like the Abu Ghraib guards, took pictures of their victims:

Once, the instincts of people who did terrible things were to destroy the evidence; even the Nazis tried to cover up the Holocaust. Now, depravity shows its face proudly to the world, partly as a kind of existential statement, partly as another branch of the public relations industry. My grievance must be greater than yours, people seem to say, because I will go to greater lengths in pursuit of it. Just as other sections of the media industry resort to ever greater sensation to command attention - bigger newspaper headlines, more violent films, more pornographic advertisements, more intimate reality TV - so now do terrorists.
Colin Powell declares Darfur to be genocide. This might be a good time to point out, as I like to do every so often, that in 1969 Powell did the first “investigation” of My Lai, and declared that no massacre had taken place, and that the relations between US troops and local Vietnamese were excellent. Just sayin’. This time, though, he actually investigated before issuing his findings.

Sudan is not happy, and says foreigners should not “put oil on the fire.” Oil, you say... Now you’re speaking the Bush administration’s language.

Powell says, “This was a coordinated effort, not just random violence.” Just? JUST?!?

Treasury Secretary John Snow was in Florida today, talking about all the sanctions we’ve got on Cuba, and the new ones they’re adding. I’m pretty sure they’re more rigorous than the sanctions Powell is talking about putting on Sudan for, you know, genocide.

Naomi Klein writes that after 9/11, Bush looked for a political philosophy (stick with me, it gets more plausible), and found it in Sharon’s Likud party:
In the three years since, the Bush White House has applied this logic with chilling consistency to its global war on terror - complete with the pathologising of the “Muslim mind”. It was the guiding philosophy in Afghanistan and Iraq, and may well extend to Iran and Syria. It’s not simply that Bush sees America’s role as protecting Israel from a hostile Arab world. It’s that he has cast the US in the same role in which Israel casts itself, facing the same threat. In this narrative, the US is fighting a never-ending battle for its survival against irrational forces that seek its total extermination.
And now, she adds, Russia is also adopting the “Likudization narrative.”

Now go away before I taunt you a second time

Tom Ridge will today declare September National Preparedness Month. Today. The ninth. Preparedness. Can’t make this shit up.

A gazillion dollars in military spending every year, and this is what it comes down to: “The loudspeakers atop the Humvee crackled to life: ‘The Taliban are women! They're bitches! If they were real men, they'd stop hiding under their burkas and they'd come out and fight! I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.’” OK, I may have tampered with the quote slightly.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Catastrophic

Kerry says that Bush made “catastrophic choices” in Iraq, where Bush says there was a “catastrophic success.” Who could have guessed that the common ground between those two would be a four-syllable word?

Salon has an exhaustive piece about Chimpy’s National Guard service, or lack thereof. If you’ve gotten tired of the story, like I had, this will revitalize your interest. This is not just about the distant past: the lies are ongoing. As new information comes out, the Bushies have had to revise their story again and again. Also, the idea that GeeDubya just wandered off one day and never bothered coming back to base--lazy and irresponsible Bush--is untenable. He actively disregarded orders, falsified paperwork, and got powerful friends to pressure his superiors.

Serbian schools drop the teaching of evolution.

Washington, Adams, Jefferson .... Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush. Maybe the Serbs have a point there.

Otherwise occupied

Russia says it is prepared to take preemptive military action against “terrorist bases” anywhere in the world, and will do so with the same level of competence shown in the Beslan crisis. OK, they didn’t say the last part, but they did reassure us that these military strikes would not involve nuclear weapons, something we weren’t even worried about right up until the second they said that.

The GAO says that Thomas Scully should repay all the salary he received as head of Medicare after he illegally ordered that actuary not to report the true cost of Bush’s drug proposals to Congress. That’s actually in the law governing the civil service. The Bush admin is refusing, citing its “executive privilege” to lie to Congress. I’m simplifying their language, but not exaggerating. If only Congress defended congressional oversight with half the energy presidents use in asserting executive privilege, an exceedingly vague and expansive term which is not in the constitution. The DHS investigation of this incident insisted in July that Scully had “the final authority to determine the flow of information to Congress.”


The ONION:

Bush Campaign More Thought Out Than Iraq War

WASHINGTON, DC—Military and political strategists agreed Monday that President Bush's re-election campaign has been executed with greater precision than the war in Iraq. "Judging from the initial misrepresentation of intelligence data and the ongoing crisis in Najaf, I assumed the president didn't know his ass from his elbow," said Col. Dale Henderson, a military advisor during the Reagan Administration. "But on the campaign trail, he's proven himself a master of long-term planning and unflinching determination. How else can you explain his strength in the polls given this economy?" Henderson said he regrets having characterized Bush's handling of the war as "incompetent," now that he knows the president's mind was simply otherwise occupied.