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I was going to ask if Cheney spoke to the local cops before fleeing the scene back to Washington, but silly me: in Texas when someone gets shot while hunting there’s no requirement even to inform the authorities unless they actually die.
Still less is there a legal requirement to inform the press. White House press corps to McClellan: “Why didn’t you tell us Cheney shot a guy?” McClellan: “You didn’t ask.” (I wrote that before seeing his actual words: “Well, I think we all know that once it is made public, then it’s going to be news, and all of you are going to be seeking that information.”) Ten bucks to the first reporter who asks just how many other people Cheney has shot over the years that they failed to tell us about. Remember all that construction work a couple of years ago at Blair House (the Veep residence)? Installing giant freezers to store all the bodies.
Rumsfeld has been visiting North Africa, citing Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia as positive examples for dealing with “the problem of extremism.” Here’s how he describes his conversation with Algerian President Bouteflika:
He described it from the inside, as to what took place and how they fought off the terrorism problem and the problem of extremism, and the numbers of people who were killed or beheaded, and the task of persuading the Algerian people that their future was in a forward-looking, economically prosperous, democratic system, as opposed to violence and extremism.
Or to put it another way, how the Algerian government refused to implement the results of elections won by Islamists, banned their parties, then massacred many thousands of people and threw tens of thousands into prison.
And I was musing as he talked about the fact that so many people looking at it from the outside had so many ideas and critiques, and opined on this and opined on that, and it was very different from where he was.
Different still from a dungeon or a mass grave.
Mary Matalin says Cheney “was not careless or incautious or violate any of the [rules]. He didn’t do anything he wasn’t supposed to do.” Now they’re just cut-and-pasting, using the same assertions to defend torture, holding people without trial, wiretapping, shootin’ a guy, whatever. In comments on my last post, Neil Shakespeare suggests the delay in getting Whittington to the hospital was in case someone checked Cheney’s blood-alcohol level, which seems plausible.
Also – obvious, but I didn’t think of it earlier – he waited until after the Sunday-morning shows were safely past.
Also, at some point he has to make a public statement, in which he will have to attempt to express contriteness and sympathy for the fellow human being he shot, so he’s gotta be practicing that, like Dick Gregory once said Lyndon Johnson didn’t talk about race for a while after he became president because his aides were trying to teach him how to say negro. “Niggra-o.” “Not quite, Mr. President, try again.”
Starting with the woman who owns the ranch where Cheney stalked and gunned down his prey, we have and will be hearing a lot of people talking about how it’s no big deal to be shot (or “peppered,” as they like to call it), why heck being shot by one of your buddies while huntin’ and drinkin’ is the Texas equivalent of a bar mitzvah.
Lech Walesa suggests to Cuban exiles in Florida that they should prepare for what happens after Castro dies. Yeah, they should really do that instead of whatever it is they’ve been doing for the last 50 years.
Cheney exercised one of the little-known “inherent rights of the vice presidency,” and shot a 78-year old man.
Harry Whittington, who has just found his way into history trivia quizzes for decades to come, may have been a Republican, a lawyer and a hunter, but he also campaigned for better treatment of retarded prisoners, including not, you know, executing them.
They didn’t make an announcement until the local press got hold of the story over a day later. Say, do you think they reported the shooting to the police? Oh, and despite the fact that Cheney has his own personal ambulance, which did take Whittington to the hospital (insert your own ambulance-chaser joke here), it didn’t do so until nearly 3 hours after he was shot. What’s that about?
I’m gonna have that Tom Lehrer song – you know the one I mean – going through my head the rest of the day.
The United Arab Emirates sentences 26 men who attended a gay wedding (!) to 5 years each for being gay.
Norman Solomon makes the point that we’re being too sanguine if we think Bush can’t use an over-stretched US military against Iran: “But what’s on the horizon is not an invasion -- it’s a major air assault”.
Riverbend raided.
Salman Rushdie, in an op-ed piece in favor of free speech (who’da thunk it?), quotes a t-shirt: “Blasphemy is a victimless crime.”
A letter to the London Times: “I have just purchased a bread and butter pudding from the Finest range of a leading supermarket chain. A heart-emblazoned sticker proclaims: ‘Perfect for Valentine’s Day’. Lower down, an information box states: ‘Serves 3’.” David Lilley, Leicestershire
And the Olympics Fever computer virus infects the LauraBot 3000. Or do any of you have a better caption you’d like to share with the class?
The NYT runs the story of the alleged Al Qaeda shoe-bomb plot against LA on page A20, the WaPo on A4. Get the feeling they don’t really believe it either?
But it doesn’t matter. Democrats probably also have their doubts, but they’re afraid of saying so, in case they turn out to be wrong and look foolish. This is how Bush can lie, can be known to have a long record of lying, and not be slapped down for it.
Condi Rice congratulates the Haitian people on voting, just as if the US hadn’t forced the last elected president to resign before they would save his fucking life from thugs supported and funded by the US (my recap here). So anyway, pretending all that never happened, she tells the Haitian people to “respect the final results” (!) and says the Bush admin will “support the people of Haiti as they progress toward a transparent and stable democracy”.
However, nothing says transparent democracy like an open-mike incident.
The lower house of the South Dakota legislature votes 47-22 to ban pretty much all abortions, turning back moves to make exemptions in cases of rape, incest or the woman’s health. The pro-choice side was careful to follow Saletan’s advice and proclaim their abhorrence for abortion itself, one legislator saying, “I don’t believe in abortion by choice... But I sure as H.E. double hockey sticks believe in something for victims of rape.” AP says that Rep. Keri Weems, who made the usual don’t-punish-the-fetus-just-because-its-father-raped-its-mother argument, “describes herself as a stay-at-home mother,” which is funny because I thought that “Rep.” stood for Representative, which isn’t really a stay-at-home job, but perhaps in South Dakota Rep. is a special title they give to mothers, standing for Reproducer. Actually, she so describes herself on her website, where we find that she also wants to make distribution of condoms in schools punishable by one year in prison and a $1,000 fine, and to exempt cattle and swine semen from sales tax. Sort of a mixed message, really. A Democrat noted that this vote would be used “in campaign fodder,” impelling one of the Righteous, Republican party leader Rep. Larry Rhoden, to say, “I’m offended that anybody on this floor would accuse us of being political on this issue. We’re debating this based on our own personal beliefs.” Yes, precisely: you’re trying to impose your own personal beliefs on everyone else.
Via SF Chronic columnist Jon Carroll, this 4½-minute video of a guy juggling (the one at the right labeled “big finale”). Take my word for it, go watch.
Bush met today with right-wing Polish President Kaczynski. “I asked the President his advice on Ukraine. That’s what friends do -- they share information and share strategic thoughts.” Oh, and help each other move.
Some people think the sudden eruption of the Cartoon Wars four months after the cartoons’ original publication indicates some sort of organization or conspiracy. If so, the four-month delay is the tell-tale signature of that most dastardly group (you’re way ahead of me, aren’t you?), FEMA.
The part of the story about the supposed plot to shoe-bomb hijack a plane into downtown LA that is least credible is that the alleged hijackers went to meet Osama and get his blessing a month after 9/11, which would have been a ridiculous breach of security. At today’s Gaggle, Little Scottie was stumped by a question about how you hijack a plane with a weapon more suited to blowing up a plane. The administration answer is that they would use the shoe-bombs to blow up the cockpit door so that they could gain access and... what? hijack the plane with no other weapons, and not even a door to stop the passengers tearing them apart?
By the way, Bush accidentally referred to the Library Tower as the Liberty Tower, verbally replacing one thing with which he is completely unfamiliar with another thing with which he is completely unfamiliar.
Man, remember when the phrase “cartoon protests” applied only to any event Al Sharpton showed up at?
When Democrats in the House International Relations Committee submitted resolutions asking for information about torture policy and extraordinary rendition, Henry Hyde suggested that they should “at least silently confess to themselves that their actions pose real dangers to our country.” The resolutions were of course voted down by the R’s.
An AP story yesterday passed on the Pentagon’s claim that there were only four detainees still hunger striking in Guantanamo. Spokesscum Col. Jeremy Martin, who we’ve seen before defending the torture of forcible feeding and describing hunger striking as an Al Qaeda tactic, claims to have no idea why the drop in numbers – Martin never seems to know what prisoners are thinking, saying or demanding, because that would humanize them – saying, “We haven’t changed anything. Our processes and procedures are the same.” In fact, they are not, as is proven in an actual by god piece of investigative journalism, only 4 years late, in today’s NYT. I won’t quote at length because you need to go read it now. Take your time, I’ll be waiting in the next paragraph.
They have clearly stepped up the level of violence used against hunger-striking prisoners, and deliberately increased the pain involved in forcible feeding, removing throat lozenges, over-feeding to cause diarrhea, and introducing... the Emergency Restraint Chair.
They’ve bought 25 of these puppies, and are clearly using them as punishment, strapping prisoners into them for hours at a time, which goes against the manufacturers’ instructions that “Detainees should not be left in the Emergency Restraint Chair for more than two hours. The Emergency Restraint Chair should never be used as a means of punishment.” The company told the NYT that the Pentagon never asked for instructions in the chairs’ use.
My googling also turned up this site, which has many prisoner-restraint products for sale, and is quite scary.
(Update: Sigh, Slate’s Today’s Papers did the same Google search I did and has a link to the restraint chair company too. I thought I’d be the only blog with a picture of the chair. Actually, the print NYT, which arrived after I wrote the above, has the first picture, although the Times website does not.)
As long as I’m being unoriginal, I’ll hat-tip A Tiny Revolution’s catch on this wonderfully telling sentence from the London Times: “Iran has threatened to defend itself if attacked.”
Condi Rice failed to respond when Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, a fellow member of the my-parents-were-drunk-when-they-picked-my-name club (or, in Livni’s case, not so much drunk as tzipsy), said that a Palestinian state run by Hamas would by definition be a “terrorist entity.”
Israel is building a Museum of Tolerance in Jerusalem. On the site of an ancient Indian Muslim cemetery, used for more than 1,000 years. Says the srael Antiquities Authority, “If we didn’t build on former cemeteries, we would never build.”
Picture from the Pentagon website, where it has the caption, “U.S. Marines perform log drills, which are exercises conducted using logs”.
Bush met with Jordan’s King Abdullah, his Oilaholics Anonymous sponsor, today. “We had a little time by ourselves to talk strategically about the world and our deep desire for this world to be peaceful.” One of the things they talked strategically about was... those damn cartoons. Evidently “we believe in a free press. We also recognize that with freedom comes responsibilities. With freedom comes the responsibility to be thoughtful about others.” Bush is always willing to stand up for rights, as long as they’re not exercised. But there’s a right way and a wrong way to suppress free speech: “we reject violence as a way to express discontent with what may be printed in a free press.” Jordan, for example, simply arrested two editors. Think George asked Kingy about them? He went on to call on all governments to stop the violence (the largest number of deaths, 12 so far, has been in US-occupied Afghanistan), “to be respectful” (!), and to protect the lives of “innocent diplomats” (is there such a creature as an innocent diplomat?).
Condi Rice has found the real culprit in the Cartoon Wars: Iran and Syria, who have “gone out of their way to inflame sentiments and to use this to their own purposes. And the world ought to call them on it.” Yeah, I’d hate for the smoking cartoon gun to come in the form of a cartoon mushroom cloud.
Favorite White House website article title of the week: “President Honors Dance Theatre of Harlem at the White House.”
Also honored by the president today, Coretta Scott King. Less honored was the woman at the far right of this picture, who goes unidentified in the caption on the White House website. Hillary Clinton, of course, and they were so anxious not to have her fully in frame that they cropped the picture in a way which also left out George H. W. Bush and Jimmy Carter. And, er, how disrespectful would it be to have a caption contest here, about just what Shrub is thinking at this moment?
A week ago I asked how the cartoon protesters got those Danish flags they were burning in Gaza. Capitalism, baby, capitalism.
When entrepreneur Ahmed Abu Dayya first heard that Danish caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed were being reprinted across Europe, he knew exactly what his customers in Gaza would want: flags to burn.
$11 each.
Abu Dayya sources some of his flags from suppliers in Taiwan, but he buys Israeli flags from a merchant in Israel, even though he sells them to be burned at anti-Israeli rallies.
And the Danish flag was also burnt today by Members of the state parliament of the Kano province of Nigeria, the closest thing Nigeria has to Taleban-era Afghanistan, where they resisted polio vaccinations as a diabolical Western plot. No word on where they acquired the flag. The flag was also burnt in the Philippines today.
Something seems a bit suspicious about the fact that in the Cartoon Wars, 5 Afghans were killed by Afghan police trying to storm Bagram Air Base. Since when does the American military entrust its security to Afghans?
Job title of the day: “bling handler” for a rapper. And that guy just got killed, so the job is available.
The deputy editor of the Taizhou Evening News dies following a police beating.
Gonzales said that the only reason they’re not wiretapping calls both ends of which are in the US is that public reaction might be negative. In other words, they probably think it’s one more thing they have the “inherent authority” to do (the list grows with each episode of “24”: every time Jack Bauer threatens to gouge someone’s eye out or whatever, Gonzales “discovers” something else they have the inherent authority to do), but it’s politically expedient not to, at least for the present.
Reminds me: I would have quoted Russ Feingold yesterday, but I thought everyone else would, and they haven’t. In response to that nonsense about D’s having a “pre-9/11 mindset,” he said that Bush is demonstrating a pre-1776 mindset.
Poland is down to fewer than 200 legal abortions a year, and often it’s the doctors themselves doing the refusing. A woman who was told by 3 eye doctors that a pregnancy could result in blindness was refused an abortion by all 3 of those doctors and a gynecologist; she gave birth, is now close to blind, and is taking her case to the European Court of Human Rights.
The language about Iran has been quietly ramping up, not perhaps helped by the announcement by Iran’s largest newspaper that it will run cartoons making fun of the Holocaust. In fact, it will have a contest to find the best one. What would an appropriate prize be for that? In addition to the Security Council referral over its nuclear program, I’ve heard government statements in the last week claiming Iran is the biggest state sponsor of terrorism and that the increasing sophistication of IED’s in Iraq is down to Iranian assistance.
Which reminds me that I’ve been meaning to do a brief book report slash recommendation of a book I finished last week, Norman Solomon’s War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death. The book’s an essay about the myths, lies, memes used to sell America’s wars, using the wars of the last 40 years to illuminate the current Iraq war. It’s very much a journalist’s book, relying mostly on old newspaper and magazine articles rather than archives and memoirs. This means he doesn’t really delve into whether Lyndon Johnson, Reagan, Rumsfeld, Bush etc actually believe what they’re saying, but that would be a different book. This book is divided into 17 chapters, each of which focuses on one of these myths, such as: This Guy is a Modern-Day Hitler, They Are the Aggressors, Not Us, The Pentagon Fights Wars as Humanely as Possible, Withdrawal Would Cripple U.S. Credibility, What the US Government Needs Most is Better PR, etc (the table of contents is on the Amazon site). He demonstrates that the same themes are recycled over and over; this book is intended to be the antidote to the American amnesia that allows successive administrations to get away with that. The structure of the book really works: I knew most of this stuff, but the thematic chapters arrange the information in a way that is genuinely enlightening. Since his concerns overlap so well with my own, I would venture that anyone who likes my blog would like this book. And if you use the link at the top of this paragraph, Amazon will kick back 89¢ to me (or check your public library, like I did). Solomon’s previous book, Target Iraq: What the News Media Didn’t Tell You, is available as a free download on his website. I haven’t read it yet, but I will. Oh, and no small thing: the man can write.
The BBC said it, I didn’t: “Muslim Cartoon Fury Claims Lives.”
Alberto Gonzales, testifying about domestic surveillance, gave an answer that it took me a second to realize was inadvertently revealing: asked why the admin hadn’t consulted Congress, he replied, “The short answer is, we didn’t think we needed to.” Going into the store this morning, I didn’t need to hold the door for the person behind me, it wasn’t a legal requirement, but I did it anyway. Asked where in the Constitution it says that the prez can wiretap American citizens without a warrant, he admitted “nowhere specifically.” So if they don’t wanna do something, they don’t gotta unless it says so in exactly as many words in the Constitution, but if they wanna do something, they’ll interpret the shit out of that parchment. (Update: Leahy made exactly that point: “I’m getting the impression this administration picks and chooses what it’s subject to.”) So there was a lot of talk about the inherent powers of this incoherent president; “inherent powers” are the Holy Ghost of this administration’s constitutional theology. Biden asked what damage could really have been caused by the leak of the existence of this program, didn’t terrorists already figure that they were being listened to; Gonzales replied that “if they’re not reminded about it all the time in the newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget.” And for sweeps, a little stunt casting: the R’s brought the sister of one of the 9/11 pilots to the hearings.
We’ve talked about whether the NSA warrantless surveillance is “domestic” or not, and just how many innocent people’s conversations were swept into the net, but what about the assertion, as made by Gen. Michael Hayden again today on the Sunday chat shows, that it was focused on Al Qaeda and only Al Qaeda (oh, and “Al Qaeda affiliates,” whatever that means). Of course Al Qaeda doesn’t really have an official membership list per se, so that what Hayden means is people he designates as being Al Qaeda members, but putting that aside, is Al Qaeda really the only terrorist organization in the world that we’re worried will do something nasty inside the United States?
There have now been 5 deaths in the Cartoon Wars: 3 shot by Afghan police, a boy shot in Somalia, and one of the demonstrators killed in the burning of the Danish embassy in Lebanon (that’ll teach ‘em to mess with Loki). Demonstrations seem to have spread to half the countries on the planet, including India and Thailand. (By the way, I made an editorial decision not to put the cartoons on my site, but only to link to them, because there’s no getting around the fact that some of them are obnoxious, racist, and just not at all good, and because my support for free speech is not conditional on the content of that speech, which is why we call it free speech. I have, however, now made another editorial decision to include a link to the cartoons every time I mention them, in the same way I link to other primary sources like George Bush’s speeches, which are also obnoxious, sometimes racist, and just not at all good.) Iraq (or possibly just the transportation ministry) has announced that it will refuse to accept reconstruction money from Denmark and Norway.
Speaking of cartoon characters, House Majority Leader John Boehner, pictured below, is against banning corrupt lobbying practices but is for “bringing more transparency to this relationship,” for example by passing out checks from tobacco lobbyists during votes on bills affecting their interests right on the House floor in front of God, C-SPAN and everyone.
An American Coast Guard captain put a message in a bottle, which traveled all the way to England, where one Henry Biggelsworth sent back a note scolding him for littering. There will always be an England as long as someone reacts in precisely that way to a message in a bottle and as long as that someone is named Henry Biggelsworth.
Speaking of messages in bottles, this blog experienced a 9-hour outage Saturday. I trust it was not too painful.
In case you were unable to figure it out in my absence, this is a Bad Thing: the Danish and Norwegian embassies in Syria and the Danish embassy in Lebanon have been burned down in protest against Cathy Ziggy Garfield The Family Circus, because it makes a circus of the family those Danish cartoons (and rumors that Danes were planning to burn the Koran publicly, possibly in front of the Little Mermaid statue). Christopher Hitchens, gin-soaked apostate that he is, has it more or less exactly right in Slate. He thinks that Muslims who “claim to possess absolute truth and demand absolute immunity from criticism” today will not become more tolerant tomorrow if appeased today, such as when the US government pronounces the cartoons “unacceptable.” He says of the protesters, “I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice”.
Everyone’s a critic: now it’s the United States Department of State that is calling the Danish cartoons “offensive to the beliefs of Muslims.” So not only is the US government (happily stoking the flames when Muslims are for once pissed off at someone other than the US) now in the business of issuing fatwas against free expression, but it’s also in the business of saying what is or is not offensive to the beliefs of Muslims. I understand the State Department also proclaims that human-animal hybrids are offensive to the beliefs of Muslims.
The Pakistani Parliament has also, unanimously, passed a resolution that the cartoons “hurt the faith and feelings of Muslims all over the world.” Hurt their feelings (the poor delicate flowers), fine, but how precisely did a few feeble cartoons hurt the Muslim faith? The Pakistani general-president-dictator (but he really wants to direct) Musharaf also condemned them, which is funny because he’s normally such a staunch supporter of human rights.
Laura Ingraham asked Dick Cheney who Bush meant when he attacked “isolationists.” He says anyone who wants to “deal with the terrorist threat... the way we dealt with it prior to 9/11” and anyone who thinks “military involvement in the Middle East” is “optional.”
Rumsfeld, in that talk at the National Press Club yesterday in which he said that Hugo Chavez is just like Hitler because they were both elected legally and then consolidated power, a talk in which Rumsfeld gestured with his finger
JUST LIKE HITLER
and in which he said the fight against terrorists could be “generational,” gave this insight into the inner workings of terrorists: “They get up in the morning, have committee meetings and think about how they’re going to manipulate the world’s press to their advantage.” Committee meetings?
And while everyone else in the Bush administration talks about the evil Muslim plan for a caliphate, Rummy has the damning proof: “They have designed and distributed a map where national borders are erased and replaced by a global extremist Islamic empire.” Here there be dragons.
In the Q&A (and by the way, has anyone seen a transcript of this event?), someone quoted his pre-war statements about Iraq definitely absolutely positively having chemical and biological weapons. His response: “Oh, I don’t like to be told what I said.”
Bush: “I think the role of government is to shape the future, not fear the future.” Just in case you were wondering what the role of government is.
BBC headline: “Muslims Urge New Cartoon Protests.” I thought those protesters looked a little like parodies of fanatical loons, but evidently that was the idea all along. Cartoon protests indeed.
The cartoony protests have spread as far as Indonesia and of course to Iraq, where Shiites painted a Danish flag in front of the Imam Ali Shrine in Najaf so that they could step on it.
“Step two kick kick.”
(Update: If you’ve googled in with a “cartoon protests” search, you might want to go to the main page, or the February 2006 page, and look for more recent references to the War of the Cartoons)
Iranian President Ahmadinejad responds to Bush’s remarks in the SOTU, saying that Bush’s “arms are submerged up to the elbows in the blood of other nations”. And your point is?
Eli at Left I points out again that Bush’s arguments about why the NSA (supposedly) doesn’t spy on “domestic” calls but on “terrorist” ones, or something, creates an illogical distinction “by which international calls automatically surpass some magical threshold of ‘threat’ while domestic calls automatically do not.” Eli thinks the Bushies are covering up the fact that they also listen in on wholly-domestic calls, and I’m sure he’s right, but I think the purpose of the distinction has nothing to do with the content. That is, we’re seeing a favorite Roveite method: confusing the issue, any issue, by turning it into a he said, she said. What he & she actually say is irrelevant, the illusion of a dispute about the facts is the only thing that matters. It’s a handy template for defusing any scandal, because even if the news media bestir themselves to fact-check, they’ve already put out the initial story, which is “the facts are in dispute,” so half their readers/viewers/listeners have dismissed it as more partisan bickering they’re too busy to get to the bottom of. There’s nothing like a small injection of cynicism to counteract righteous indignation, which is why McClellan, Bush etc falsely claimed that Jack Abramoff gave to Democrats as well as Republicans. Ideally, the Bushies will dominate the phony dispute by dictating both the he said and the she said sides so that suddenly instead of talking about the rights and wrongs of the surveillance, we’re talking about whether or not it’s “domestic.” They could just as easily picked some sort of nit over the word surveillance (“Surveillance means ‘to watch over,’ but the NSA was actually listening; why do the Democrats want you to think the NSA was watching when it was actually listening?”).
Maybe that explains the human-animal hybrid thing too.
Bush talked about making ethanol “not just from corn but from wood chips and stalks or switch grass.” Does that mean we’ll all be required to spend our vacations clearing brush?
Some people have pointed out the dissonance of a former oil man (and indeed an alcohol addict) talking about an addiction to oil. But then he’s also a politician who claims to despise politics. You’ll notice his expressed distaste for every role he’s ever fulfilled never seems to diminish his own unearned self-regard. The closest he comes is when he discusses his role as husband, where all his talk about “marrying up” suggests a sense of inferiority to the LauraBot. But to get back to the point I was making before my digression into the shallows of the Bush psyche, the dissonance is less than it appears because his approach to energy is to claim that the answers are entirely scientific rather than economic. The day before the SOTU, Exxon announced a $36 billion profit for 2005, the highest profit for any corporation ever, but there was never any question of that being mentioned in the speech. Capitalism is great, huge corporations are great, science is great. As Arthur C. Clarke didn’t say but should have, to a sufficiently stupid person, any science more complex than the wheel is indistinguishable from magic. And Bush does mean magical science rather than mere technology, dismissing fuel efficiency thusly, “We use a lot of foreign oil in our automobiles, and we drive a lot, and people say, well, CAFE this and CAFE that.” I’m convinced he thinks someone will come up with a magic bean that can run an automobile forever.
That line was given today, when Bush followed up the SOTU speech with a recapitulation in the Grand Ole Opry, as is required under the Constitution. After five long (oh god so long) years in the job, he still doesn’t know what words to use for that job: “I like my buddies from West Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was President, and I like them during President and I like them after President.” He describes Bill Frist’s job in the Senate as “herding cats.” Brrr. But then he describes his own job as “educator-in-chief.”
Of what else does his job consist? Well, “As a matter of fact, every day, every day of my presidency I think about this war. That’s what you’ve got to understand.” But enough about his masturbatory practices. “And I clearly see the threats to America. My job is to worry about those threats. That’s not your job. We got a lot of people in government worrying about those threats on your behalf, so you can go about your life.” Insert Brownie-heckuva-job reference here.
Once again he magnanimously concedes the right of people in a free society to engage in impotent debate: “I welcome the debate. But as I said last night to Congress, whether you agree or not agree with the decision, this country has one option, and that’s victory in Iraq.”
Before I forget: the state of the union is strong. Who knew?
Evidently “our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger.” Oh, I’m pretty sure they can be.
Then he tried to define those differences as between something and nothing. For example, “We will choose to act confidently in pursuing the enemies of freedom – or retreat from our duties in the hope of an easier life.” Isolationism and protectionism is how he describes the alternative, essentially an absence of policy rather than a competing policy.
An odd historical statement: he describes 9/11 as resulting from “problems originating in a failed and oppressive state seven thousand miles away”. It took me a minute to get that he was blaming 9/11 on Afghanistan rather than, for example, any of the countries that the hijackers or bin Laden actually came from.
More bad history-writing: “In 1945, there were about two dozen lonely democracies on Earth. Today, there are 122.” I can’t wait to see that list, although he names just 5 that aren’t on it: Syria, Burma, Iran, Zimbabwe, North Korea, and “the demands of justice, and the peace of this world, require their freedom as well.” You know, just to shake it up a little, I say the next country we invade should be Zimbabwe rather than Iran. It’s actually a little hard to see how the peace of the world requires regime change in Burma and Zimbabwe.
Of course one of the reasons there are so many more countries now than in 1945 is that many of those “lonely democracies” held vast colonial empires. It’s funny that when he talks about the march of freedom, he never mentions the freedom of nations from the control of more powerful nations.
America, of course, is such a total innocent that the fight with “radical Islam” is “a great ideological conflict we did nothing to invite.”
Here’s a rather un-PC statement: “No one can deny the success of freedom, but some men rage and fight against it.” Equal opportunity for women freedom-ragers-against!
“Terrorists like bin Laden are serious about mass murder”. Dude, that’s just when they’re at work.
Evidently the United States “will never surrender to evil.” Hey, Cheney is sitting right behind you, and now his feelings are all hurt.
Evidently “second-guessing is not a strategy.” Er, is it a tactic?
Who was the guy in the Dr. Who scarf?
Here’s what you missed if you heard it on radio: he introduced the parents and wife of a dead soldier, and then he winked at them, he fucking winked. Winked! As the applause went on, a smug look, smug even by Bush standards of smugness, spread across his chimp-like face – what the hell did he have to be smug about? – and then he winked again, I’m not sure at who. What is wrong with him?
He may not have had that long a laundry list of things he wanted from Congress, but he sure did for Hamas, and as he told Hamas that it needed to disarm, renounce terrorism, recognize Israel, etc etc, the CNN cameras moved inevitably to Bush’s house Jew, Holy Joe Lieberman. Later, when he talked about malpractice reform, they went to Bill “Kitty Killer” Frist. And when he talked about infants with malaria, they went to Rumsfeld. What do they know about him?
In a silly stunt, he spoke directly to the citizens of Iran. Who he respects. No, sorry, who America respects. We do? Since when? He really needed to say when he stopped talking to the citizens of Iran, or turned to face a different camera or something.
He called it the “terrorist surveillance program” twice. And he informed “appropriate” members of Congress about it. As opposed to the inappropriate members of Congress.
Evidently “we will not sit back and wait to be hit again.” And just let me be the first of many bloggers to respond to that line with this picture:
Aw, he called for a line-item veto. How quaint.
Talking (vaguely) about health care, he said we should strengthen the doctor-patient relationship. I have no idea how he proposes to do that.
Oil, he says, “is often imported from unstable parts of the world.” Huh, see any causal relationship there, chuckles? “The best way to break this addiction [to oil] is through technology.” Certainly not by, I don’t know, driving less. And so he announced this year’s mission to Mars / hydrogen car, i.e., the thing that will never be heard from again, well, along with the bipartisan commission on Social Security, the Advanced Energy Initiative (his buddies at the American Enterprise Institute won’t be happy with that name). He wants “safe, clean” nuclear energy, and “cutting-edge” ethanol.
On education, he focused entirely on teaching math. Somebody has issues. He wants to “give early help to students who struggle with math, so they have a better chance at good, high-wage jobs.” If they’re so bad at math, why don’t we just tell them their jobs are high-wage, they’ll never know the difference.
He repeated the phrase “a hopeful society” over and over, often in contexts that seem to have little to do with being a hopeful society: “A hopeful society depends on courts that deliver equal justice under law.... A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners... A hopeful society expects elected officials to uphold the public trust” etc etc.
Also, he’s really against human cloning and human-animal hybrids. In case you were wondering.
Britain has its 100th military death in Iraq.
And Tony Blair loses a vote on banning religious hatred. And I do mean Tony Blair, since he lost 283-282 because he himself didn’t stick around to vote. Inciting religious hatred will still be illegal, but only “threatening” words and behaviour will be outlawed, not “abusive and insulting” or “reckless” ones.
Speaking of religious hatred, Palestinians, who evidently have no more pressing concerns than those cartoons, held a march through Gaza City, chanting “War on Denmark, death to Denmark,” and burned Danish flags, and no I don’t know where they got them.
A dog food manufacturer in New Zealand offered to send 42 tons of the stuff to Kenya to feed that country’s many starving children, as well as give them an increase in energy and vitality, shiny coat, bright eyes, strong teeth and bones, and a stronger immune system. To be fair, the manufacturer insists that she eats the stuff herself, sprinkled on her morning porridge, and it’s “yummy.” Kenyans, meanwhile, not so thrilled with the idea. The Kenyan relief minister said, “It is an insult for somebody to think Kenya can accept food meant for animals. Such people should desist because we will be very careful in vetting the donations.”
