Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I tend not to use labels for folks
Obama was interviewed yesterday by the BBC about his upcoming world travels.
Obama refused to be drawn on whether Hosni Mubarak is an authoritarian ruler. “No, I tend not to use labels for folks.” Stop a moment and ponder the lameness of that evasion. “I think he has been a force for stability and good in the region...” If by stability, you mean a 30-year dictatorship. “...Obviously there have been criticisms of the manner in which politics operates in Egypt...” Well, not so much criticisms as screams of pain emanating from his dungeons.
Nor would he criticize Israel for refusing to stop settlement-building: “Well, it’s still early in the conversation. ... So, you know, one of the things that in the 24/7 news cycle is very difficult to encourage is patience, and diplomacy is always a matter of a long, hard slog.” Do tell us when it’s time to actually believe that they mean what they’re saying.
In an interview with NPR, he explained that the reason we’re still occupying Afghanistan is that “3,000 Americans were killed and you had a devastating attack on the American homeland; the organization that planned those attacks intends to carry out further attacks and we cannot stand by and allow that to happen.” He added, “We don’t have an interest in exploiting the resources of Afghanistan.” That’s too bad, because those poppy fields might help pay for the GM bailout.
NO HANGING OUT: “What we want is simply that people aren’t hanging out in Afghanistan who are plotting to bomb the United States. And I think that’s a fairly modest goal that other Muslim countries should be able to understand.”
Of musketeers and mouseketeers
John McCain refers to himself, Lindsey Graham and Holy Joe Lieberman as “the Three Musketeers.”
Speaking of silly titles, Kim Jong Il, the “Dear Leader” and son of Kim Il-sung, the “Great Leader,” has designated his 25-year-old (give or take)_son Kim Jong Un as his successor. Clearly, he needs an adjective of his very own. CONTEST: What sort of Leader is Kim Jong Un? (Since he was once caught trying to use a forged passport to visit Tokyo Disneyland, perhaps he should be called the Dear Mouseketeer)(Update: my mistake, that was Kim Jong Nam, the eldest son).

Oh, and if you want to submit a better name than the Three Musketeers for the team of McCain, Graham and Lieberman (the Axis of Evil?), feel free to do that too.
Topics:
Lindsey Graham
Is he allowed to say that about our lords and masters?
Middle East envoy George Mitchell more or less outright accuses the Israeli government of lying when it claims there was a secret understanding with the Bush admin over settlement “natural growth”: “The Israelis want us to commit to oral understandings we have never heard about, but at the same time they are not willing to commit to written agreements their government has signed, like the road map and commitment to the two-state solution.”
Monday, June 01, 2009
But... that’s how we resolve all our issues
Obama’s statement on the murder of Dr. Tiller: “However profound our differences as Americans over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.”
There are only three clinics in the entire country that perform medically necessary late-term abortions. Seems to me the “issue” has been pretty nearly “resolved” to the satisfaction of the anti-choicers, and heinous acts of violence played no small part in that resolution.
Topics:
Abortion politics (US)
More shit you can see from space
Headline of the Day, from the Daily Telegraph: “Penguin Poo Visible from Space.” Say what you will about the Telegraph, but I can tell you, that is not only the best headline for that story (and I checked Google News; I had to, I’m a blogger), but only the Telegraph had an actual picture.

Saturday, May 30, 2009
Ominous patterns
John Oliver in The Bugle on impoverished North Korea’s nuclear program: “it’s like putting the most expensive security system ever made on an empty house.”
Helpful Clarification of the Day, in a story in the Sunday Times (London) about the punishment in Saudi Arabia of a man convicted of killing an 11-year-old body and his father: “Crucifying a headless body in a public place is intended to set an example”.
Unnecessary Adjective of the Day, in a WaPo headline: “Darfuri Women Report Ominous Pattern of Rape.” I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that any pattern of rape is kind of ominous.
Actually, it’s even ominouser than the headline suggests, in that there’s actually more than one pattern of rape. It seems that half the rapes of women now in refugee camps in Chad were done, as might be expected, by the Janjaweed, but that half were purely opportunistic rapes by local Chadians. Aren’t people just lovely?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Assume the best
SCOTUSblog notes that the Obama admin has filed a brief before the Supreme Court arguing against allowing the 17 Chinese Uighurs to be released from Guantanamo into the United States. According to the government, they’re not really in custody any more, what they are experiencing at Gitmo is “harborage”: “They are no longer detained as enemy combatants, they are free to leave Guantanamo Bay to any country that is willing to accept them... [their] continued presence at Guantanamo Bay is not unlawful detention, but rather the consequence of their lawful exclusion from the United States”. So that’s okay, then.
George Bush gave a speech in Michigan. Asked what he wants his legacy to be, he said, “Well, I hope it is this: The man showed up with a set of principles, and he was unwilling to compromise his soul for the sake of popularity.” Hey, George has finally figured out that he’s not popular!
Yesterday, Obama had a press conference with Mahmoud Abbas.
I was hoping someone would ask Obama what he thought about the Israeli Knesset’s moves to make it illegal to advocate that Israel be anything but a “Jewish state.” They didn’t, but he did express himself on the importance of free speech in Palestine, that is, the importance of curtailing it: “And I also mentioned to President Abbas in a frank exchange that it was very important to continue to make progress in reducing the incitement and anti-Israel sentiments that are sometimes expressed in schools and mosques and in the public square, because all those things are impediments to peace.”
Asked how he’ll respond if Israel continues its settlement-building and refusal of the two-state solution, Obama announced that by god he had a plan: “We’ll, I think it’s important not to assume the worst, but to assume the best.”
Intrinsically evil
Former Pfc Steven Green, convicted for his part in the Mahmudiya Massacre, in which he and his buds killed an entire family in order to gang rape a 14-year-old Iraqi girl, Abeer al-Janabi, whose body they set on fire, escaped the death penalty, evidently because some on the jury thought his acts were attributable to “the stress of Green’s bloody combat tour, poor mental health treatment in Iraq and weak leadership in his unit.” I haven’t posted about this for a week, because I’m not entirely sure what to say about people who think that people react to “stress” with rape and mass murder.
Yesterday, at a victim impact hearing (!), Green said he was “truly sorry” and that he now realized that the Iraq war is “intrinsically evil, because killing is intrinsically evil.” See, it’s just like an after-school special, in which everyone comes to learn a valuable lesson.
Topics:
Mahmudiya
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Contest
An Astute Reader, who may not wish to be identified, or asked why he was reading a New Scientist article about female ejaculation, sent in this nominee for Name of the Day: Florian Wimpissinger, an Austrian urologist at Rudolfstiftung Hospital in Vienna.
The article mentions another expert on female ejaculation, after whom the phenomenon should definitely be named: sexologist Beverly Whipple.
Or should it?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Marginal benefits
When Souter announced his retirement, I said I wanted a justice with criminal trial experience (I should have specified on the defense side). Because I’m tired of decisions like today’s in Montejo v. Louisiana, in which 5 justices pretended that eroding a suspect’s right not to be questioned without their attorney present, after they have invoked their right to that attorney, won’t lead to many people being falsely convicted on the basis of coerced confessions (WaPo: “The government...” that’s the Obama administration, folks “...said that suspects who don’t wish to talk to police don’t have to and that officers must respect that decision.” Of course they must. Indeed, Scalia referred to not having many people being falsely convicted on the basis of coerced confessions as only a “marginal benefit” of the previous (Jackson) rule.
When Thurgood Marshall retired, one of his old clerks recounted to NPR a story Marshall had told his clerks from his old NAACP days, when he had arrived in some Southern town only to be told that his client had been lynched the night before. Somehow I don’t think he’d have been too impressed by the “marginal benefits” claim.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Ricci Rich
Evidently the right will be attacking Sotomayor on the Ricci case, in which the Second Circuit ruled that Christina Ricci should really be more selective in her choice of roles.
Topics:
Sotomayor nomination
Though oddly, they can grow up to be the Hardy Boys
Sonia Sotomayor on why she became a lawyer: “I chose to be a lawyer, and ultimately a judge, because I find endless challenge in the complexities of the law.”
Barack Obama on why Sotomayor became a lawyer: “when she was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of eight, she was informed that people with diabetes can’t grow up to be police officers or private investigators like Nancy Drew.”
Get your stories straight, people.
Topics:
Sotomayor nomination
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Contest: Name That Remaindered Book
Dick Cheney is trying to sell his memoirs. But what should it be called? “From Wyoming to an Undisclosed Location.” “The Last Throes.” “Wouldn’t You Like to Know What I Kept in My Man-Sized Safe?” “No, I Won’t Shut Up Already.” And of course, “Go Fuck Yourselves.”
Your suggestions?

Friday, May 22, 2009
Life is returning back to normal
George Bush also gave a speech yesterday, at a high school in New Mexico. While Obama and Cheney were speaking about national security, Bush talked about dog shit. Now that he’s just an ordinary guy, he has to walk his ordinary dog Barney around the ordinary streets of his ordinary Dallas neighborhood and pick up Barney’s ordinary poop. “And there I was, former President of the United States of America, with a plastic bag on my hand. Life is returning back to normal.”
Of course, George Bush being George Bush, he had the bag on the wrong hand.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Cheney’s national security speech: Half-measures keep you half-exposed
Then it was Cheney’s turn to speak at the American Enterprise Institute, where he’d been chomping at the bit (quite possibly literally) for Obama to finish (they were watching Obama’s speech, which started late). So Cheney was just a little snotty: “It’s pretty clear the president served in the Senate and not in the House of Representatives, because, of course, in the House, we have the five-minute rule.” Take that, President Big Mouth!
(I’m limiting my commentary – I have a headache. Can’t imagine why.)
The speech was all 9/11, victory dance, and vendetta.
After a brief mention of secret surveillance, which focused on the NYT reporting of it (“It impressed the Pulitzer committee, but it damn sure didn’t serve the interests of our country or the safety of our people.”), the speech was almost entirely about interrogation, 45 minutes on the virtues of torture, which was “legal, essential, justified, successful, and the right thing to do.”
He’s also not too thrilled with Obama for releasing those Justice Dept memos: “The released memos were carefully redacted to leave out references to what our government learned through the methods in question.” No they weren’t. “Releasing the interrogation memos was flatly contrary to the national security interests of the United States.”
“Over on the left wing of the president’s party, there appears to be little curiosity in finding out what was learned from the terrorists. The kind of answers they’re after would be heard before a so-called truth commission.” Which is so-called, the commission or the whole idea of truth?

“All the zeal that has been directed at the interrogations is utterly misplaced, and staying on that path will only lead our government further away from its duty to protect the American people.”
“You’ve heard endlessly about waterboarding. It happened to three terrorists.”
“[I]t takes a deeply unfair cast of mind to equate the disgraces of Abu Ghraib with the lawful, skillful, and entirely honorable work of CIA personnel trained to deal with a few malevolent men.”
“we hear from some quarters nothing but feigned outrage based on a false narrative. In my long experience in Washington, few matters have inspired so much contrived indignation and phony moralizing as the interrogation methods applied to a few captured terrorists.”
“I might add that people who consistently distort the truth in this way are in no position to lecture anyone about values.”
“And to call this a program of torture is to libel the dedicated professionals who have saved American lives and to cast terrorists and murderers as innocent victims. What’s more, to completely rule out enhanced interrogation in the future is unwise in the extreme. It is recklessness cloaked in righteousness and would make the American people less safe.” And if there’s one thing Dick Cheney hates, it’s recklessness cloaked in righteousness that makes the American people less safe.

“The administration seems to pride itself on searching for some kind of middle ground in policies addressing terrorism. They may take comfort in hearing disagreement from opposite ends of the spectrum. If liberals are unhappy about some decisions and conservatives are unhappy about other decisions, then it may seem to them that the president is on the path of sensible compromise. But in the fight against terrorism, there is no middle ground, and half-measures keep you half-exposed. You cannot keep just some nuclear-armed terrorists out of the United States; you must keep every nuclear-armed terrorist out of the United States.”
He went on at some length about how the Obamaites are backing away from Bushian rhetoric, and that’s making us weak too: “Apparently using the term war where terrorists are concerned is starting to feel a bit dated.”... “there are no more ‘enemy combatants’”... “back in the days of that scary war on terror”... “In the category of euphemism, the prizewinning entry would be a recent editorial in a familiar newspaper that referred to terrorists we’ve captured as, quote, abducted.”
“Attorney General Holder and others have admitted that the United States will be compelled to accept terrorists here in the homeland, and it has even been suggested U.S. taxpayer dollars would be used to support them.” Suggested by morons, and I’m pretty sure Holder never said any such thing.
EVERY TIME A EUROPEAN APPLAUDS, AN ANGEL DIES: “The administration has found that it’s easy to receive applause in Europe for closing Guantanamo”.
THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE JIHAD BUSINESS: “An estimated 14 percent of those released previously are believed to be back in the business of jihad.”
He lambasted the idea, which Obama had alluded to in his speech, that American torture is a recruitment tool for terrorists: “it excuses the violent and blames America for the evil that others do. It’s another version of that same old refrain from the left, We brought it on ourselves.” So why do terrorists really hate us? You’ll never guess. They hate us for our freedom.

“Critics of our policies are given to lecturing on the theme of being consistent with American values, but no moral value held dear by the American people obliges public servants to sacrifice innocent lives to spare a captured terrorist from unpleasant things.”
“And when an entire population is targeted by a terror network, nothing is more consistent with American values than to stop them.” I’m pretty sure no nation’s value include welcoming being targeted by a terror network.
Debating Cheney’s interrogation policies is, of course, a grave threat to national security: “And when they see the American government caught up in arguments about interrogations or whether foreign terrorists have constitutional rights, they don’t stand back in awe of our legal system and wonder whether they had misjudged us all along. Instead, the terrorists see just what they were hoping for: our unity gone, our resolve shaken, our leaders distracted. In short, they see weakness and opportunity.”
He claimed that “President Obama has reserved unto himself the right to order the use of enhanced interrogation should he deem it appropriate” although “What value remains to that authority is debatable, given that the enemy now knows exactly what interrogation methods to train against and which ones not to worry about.”
Obama national security speech: The American people are not absolutist
Today Obama and Cheney have dueling speeches on national security (I’ll examine Cheney’s in a post later today). (Some of the pictures of Obama in this post are actually of the wax figure of Obama which arrived at the Wax Museum in San Francisco today. See if you can spot which ones.)
Obama repeatedly stressed the need to stick with our fundamental values*
*unless it is absolutely convenient not to. So there was a lot of stirring rhetoric interspersed with less stirring caveats.
He said that the Bush admin (which he never named) made after 9/11 “a series of hasty decisions” and “all too often... made decisions based on fear rather than foresight.” Oh, I’m pretty sure those are the same decisions they’d have made with the benefit of more time and less soiled underpants.

“Now, I know some have argued that brutal methods like waterboarding were necessary to keep us safe. I could not disagree more. ... That’s why we must leave these methods where they belong, in the past.” Er, they didn’t really belong there either. It’s not like waterboarding was ever a good idea.
“Indeed, the existence of Guantanamo, likely, created more terrorists around the world than it ever detained.” So it’s like a Ponzi scheme....?

He said some prisoners will be tried by US courts for violating US laws, some will be tried by military tribunals for violating the laws of war, some will be released per previous court rulings, some transferred to other countries and... “Now, finally, there remains the question of detainees at Guantanamo who cannot be prosecuted yet who pose a clear danger to the American people.” Oh good, the legal category, so well known to the Constitution, of people who “cannot be tried and cannot be released.” “Examples of that threat include people who’ve received extensive explosives training at Al Qaida training camps or commanded Taliban troops in battle or expressed their allegiance to Osama bin Laden or otherwise made it clear that they want to kill Americans.”
“Expressed their allegiance to Osama bin Laden.”

He explained that he released the Bush Justice Dept memos because “the existence of that approach to interrogation was already widely known. The Bush administration had acknowledged its existence. And I had already banned those methods.” Anyone else have the distinct impression that he would have covered them up if “the existence of that approach to interrogation” had not been “already widely known”?
“There was and is no debate as to what is reflected in those photos is wrong.” Obama doesn’t watch a lot of Fox News.
“I ran for president promising transparency. And I meant what I said. And that’s why, whenever possible, my administration will make all information available to the American people so that they can make informed judgments and hold us accountable.” You know, whenever possible. Of course it’s always possible; he means whenever it’s not inconvenient. When it is inconvenient, he’ll let the American people make uninformed judgments and hold the government unaccountable. Like his retention of the power to detain people indefinitely, this comes down to the same “trust us, we’re the good guys” approach as the Cheneyites.
Speaking of Cheney, he gave a little shout-out to his rebuttal speaker: “Some Americans are angry. Others want to re-fight debates that have been settled, in some cases, debates that they have lost.”
He opposes a truth commission. “I have opposed the creation of such a commission because I believe that our existing democratic institutions are strong enough to deliver accountability.” Of course, the purpose of the truth commission would be to investigate things that our existing democratic institutions failed to prevent happening, so, you know, good luck with that.

“Already, we’ve seen how that kind of effort only leads those in Washington to different sides to laying blame.” Er, so?
IN OLDEN DAYS A GLIMPSE OF STOCKING: “on the one side of the spectrum, there those who make little allowance for the unique challenges posed by terrorism and would almost never put national security over transparency. And on the other end of the spectrum, there are those who embrace a view that can be summarized in two words -- anything goes.”
“Now, both sides may be sincere in their views, but neither side is right. The American people are not absolutist. They don’t elect us to impose a rigid ideology on our problems.” You know what the Constitution and Bill of Rights – which you’re literally standing right in front of – are, Barack? A rigid ideology.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
An opportunity to have a colonoscopy
Sen. Inhofe on how great it is to be a prisoner in Guantanamo: “anyone, any detainee over 55 has an opportunity to have a colonoscopy.” Whether he wants it or not. Clearly, the Dems voted to keep Gitmo open as a sneaky move to bring in socialized medicine.
The ad which asks the burning question, If my dad married a man, who would be my mom?
Think of the children.
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