Today -100: June 21, 1910: Of legislation, universal peace, revolution averted, and impure blood

The Congressional session is nearing its end. Taft has moved much of his agenda through a Republican Congress with considerable success, having passed his Railroad Bill (substantially rewritten by the Republican “insurgents”), statehood for New Mexico and Arizona (he thinks they will vote Republican in gratitude), and is on course with his Conservation Bill, though having some trouble with his Postal Savings Bank Bill.

The House passed a bill creating a Peace Commission, appointed by the president, to “consider the expediency of utilizing existing international agencies for the purpose of limiting the armaments of the nations of the world by international agreement, and of constituting the combined navies of the world an international force for the preservation of universal peace”. Taft never actually appointed the commission. In his next State of the Union Address in December, Taft explained that that was because he was waiting to hear back from foreign governments. And waiting...

The Mexican government has seized a cache of arms, arrested opposition leaders and declared martial law on the border regions with the US, thus averting any chance of a revolution. This “revolution” was evidently to take the form of going to the polls on election day (June 26) and demanding to be allowed to vote.

A NYT editorial explains why all those reports and rumors about Kaiser Wilhelm’s knee are actually important: “the reputed impurity of the Hohenzollern blood.”

Contest: Name that yacht

As you all know, BP CEO Tony Hayward, that Wooster without a Jeeves, took time out from his busy schedule of whatever it is he does to fly to the Isle of Wight for the J.P. Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race. His yacht is called “Bob,” possibly named after the evil spirit guy in Twin Peaks. Still, Bob seems a rather informal name for a luxury yacht and anyway Hayward needs a more appropriately named yacht, so here’s your chance to NAME THAT YACHT.

The Limey Bastard?
The Oil-Soaked Pelican?
Top Kill?
Top Hat?
The Shakedown?

Today -100: June 20, 1910: Of the kaiser’s knee, and dogs and husbands

TMI kaiser: Kaiser Wilhelm’s physicians deny that his knee was lanced, and say that “the discharge has now almost ceased.” A “comprehensive denial has been made in order to set the alarm of the public at rest.”

“A Brooklyn Suffragette” writes in, pointing out that in NY a marriage license costs $1 and a dog license $2. “Can any of your readers advise me – is the dog worth the difference?”

Say it, don’t spray it

At a protest in Argentina over the killing of a 15-year-old by police.

Today -100: June 19, 1910: Of TR’s triumphal return and the kaiser’s knee

Roosevelt arrived in the US. First quarantine, then a parade. The very first ticket-tape parade. I saw film of the ship arriving on YouTube, but it was spectacularly dull, so I didn’t embed it.

All the news that’s fit to print: “Kaiser’s Knee Lanced.”

The quality of mercy is not tweeted

Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff announced the Medieval execution of Ronnie Lee Gardner by the 19th century method of a firing squad via a 21st century mode of communication:


Dude, you just played a pivotal role in the shooting death of another human being, so you don’t really get to act all superior on your iPhone about “the mercy he denied his victims.”

Today -100: June 18, 1910: Of negro schools

A Court of Appeals rules unconstitutional a Kentucky law requiring a majority vote of the (presumably white) electorate in any precinct before a negro industrial school can be located there.

Sanctification of the name of heaven

Intra-mural bigotry: an Ultra-Orthodox school in a West Bank settlement gets in legal trouble for segregating Ashkenazi and Sephardic girls (I assume the children are already separated by sex). 100,000 Ultra-Orthodox demonstrate in Jerusalem in favor of segregating Jews. Ha’aretz says the parents, who are facing prison sentences, “seemed elated Wednesday by the prospect of their impending arrest and two-week jail term, which some called ‘a historic stand for the sanctification of the name of heaven.’” They’ll be very pissed off if they get to heaven some day and find people not exactly like themselves there.

Today -100: June 17, 1910: Of trolleys, new states, abraded knees, wooden legs and glass eyes

A strikebreaker from the Philadelphia trolley strike is convicted of involuntary manslaughter for running down a 3-year-old girl, one of the many children run over by trolleys during the strike.

The Senate votes to admit Arizona and New Mexico as states. There is some difference with the House bill over whether to retain the educational requirement for voters in Arizona’s territorial constitution for the referendum for the state constitution; Republicans in the Senate stripped out that (racially motivated, I assume) provision. The two weren’t officially admitted until 1912 (Arizona delayed its entry so that it would coincide with the 50th anniversary of its becoming a Confederate Territory.)

More TMI about Kaiser Wilhelm: “Kaiser Again Indisposed. Abrasion on His Knee the Result of Friction in the Saddle.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Limits Decision to Legs.” The NJ Supreme Court declined to apply the “wooden leg” decision of Mullen [I think the Times means Goldman] v. Central Railroad Company, in which it reduced a verdict of $6,000 in damages to a man whose leg was cut off by a negligently operated railroad train to $3,500 because they make very nice artificial legs these days so his earning capacity won’t be too badly hurt, to the case of a man who lost an eye at the copper works at which he was employed. Evidently glass eyes are not as helpful as wooden legs.

The Times

It was hearing that the London Times was online that convinced me to go online 14½ years ago, so it’ll be sad when the day comes that I stop being able to get around the new pay wall. Today, for example, there’s a story about a python urinating on Prince Harry in Botswana (the headline adverts to “the royal wee.”

Cap in hand

Obama met with BP officials, who promised to put $20 billion in an escrow account. Obama said, “It’s also important to emphasize this is not a cap,” adding, “because those BP motherfuckers can’t motherfucking cap any motherfucking thing.”

No one, but no one, liked Obama’s speech yesterday. For me, it comes down to two underlying problems: 1) it seems to have been written entirely by his speechwriters. That is, it covered the bare minimum of things he had to say – doing everything we can, BP will pay, too bad about the shrimpers – but contained nothing that the president wanted to say – no call to arms, much less to conservation, nothing about the importance of the environment, no lessons learned – because the only thing this spill means to Obama is a PR problem he wants to get past. 2) By never telling us any difficult truths and never saying anything specific when a reassuring generality would do, he did not speak to us as as if we were intelligent adults. Bush would have given the same speech, word for word, except he’d have looked more sincere during the “blessing of the fleet” part.

The best Marine he can be

Evidently I missed the 2007 conviction of Sgt. Lawrence Hutchins III for the kidnapping and murder in Iraq in 2006 of Awad the Lame, a former cop crippled in the line of duty who Hutchins and other pissed-off Marines randomly chose to murder, and left a weapon and a shovel with his body to try and make him look like he’d been planting IEDs, being overturned in April. So Hutchins, the last of the convicted Marines to be released for the 2006 killing, is back on active duty (although the Navy is appealing the court decision). “I’m going to be the best Marine I can be today,” the war criminal told the AP, which isn’t quite as quotable as “Congratulations gents, we’ve just gotten away with murder.”

Today -100: June 16, 1910: Of a time when wars shall cease

Secretary of State Philander C. Knox makes a speech at the commencement of the University of Pennsylvania. According to him, “We have reached a point when it is evident that the future holds in store a time when wars shall cease... when by deliberate international conjunction the strong shall universally help the weak, and when the corporate righteousness of the world shall compel unrighteousness to disappear and shall destroy the habitations of cruelty still lingering in the dark places of the earth.” A date, we want a freaking date when that will happen, Philly. American foreign policy, he says, has always been marked by a “just, friendly, and generous American spirit”.

Obama’s oil spill speech: the Blessing of the Fleet

Obama gave a prime-time address to the nation on the BP oil spill.

MY, SUCH VIOLENT LANGUAGE: “I’ve returned from a trip to the Gulf Coast to speak with you about the battle we’re waging against an oil spill that is assaulting our shores and our citizens.”

OH, SO THAT’S WHY: “That’s why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation’s best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge”.


UNLESS YOU COUNT CHENEY’S SECRET ENERGY TASK FORCE: “Already, this oil spill is the worst environmental disaster America has ever faced.”

WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS AS ASSAULT: “And unlike an earthquake or a hurricane, it’s not a single event... The millions of gallons of oil that have spilled into the Gulf of Mexico are more like an epidemic”.

THAT’S THE THING ABOUT OBAMA: HE NEVER WANTS US TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES: “But make no mistake: We will fight this spill with everything we’ve got for as long as it takes.” He didn’t say what we’ve got or how long it will take.

WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EPIDEMIC: “And sadly, no matter how effective our response is, there will be more oil and more damage before this siege is done.”

INFORMING: “Tomorrow, I will meet with the chairman of BP and inform him that he is to set aside whatever resources are required to compensate the workers and business owners who have been harmed as a result of his company’s recklessness.” I’m guessing he’ll “inform” Tony Hayward of that because he lacks the legal authority to order him to do it.


WHAT WE NEED: “we need a long-term plan to restore the unique beauty and bounty of this region.” And booty. And Ned Beatty.

NOBODY COULD HAVE PREDICTED...: “A few months ago, I approved a proposal to consider new, limited offshore drilling under the assurance that it would be absolutely safe –- that the proper technology would be in place and the necessary precautions would be taken.”

RUH ROH: “the transition to clean energy has the potential to grow our economy and create millions of jobs -– but only if we accelerate that transition. Only if we seize the moment. And only if we rally together and act as one nation”.

How will he “seize the moment” and “act as one nation”? By listening to Republicans, of course, because that always helps. “So I’m happy to look at other ideas and approaches from either party -– as long they seriously tackle our addiction to fossil fuels.” And then he’ll adopt those ideas and the Republicans will vote against them anyway, the end.

WHAT THE ONE APPROACH HE WILL NOT ACCEPT IS: “But the one approach I will not accept is inaction.” Oo, big talk. And what about failure? Is that an option, or is it maybe not an option?

And we can do it, he says, because we put a man on the moon, even though some people said it couldn’t be done. Which was the proof that technology can do anything at all, including drill safely for oil a mile beneath the ocean, so enough with the moon landing thing already, is what I’m saying.

“And yet, time and again, we have refused to settle for the paltry limits of conventional wisdom. Instead, what has defined us as a nation since our founding is the capacity to shape our destiny -– our determination to fight for the America we want for our children. Even if we’re unsure exactly what that looks like. Even if we don’t yet know precisely how we’re going to get there. We know we’ll get there.” Er, where was that again?


His big finish was about a local tradition called the “Blessing of the Fleet,” which he heard about in his many trips to the Gulf Coast or possibly when he rented The Perfect Storm. Priests of miscellaneous religions bless the shrimp boats, which then go out and sink, because “The blessing is not that God has promised to remove all obstacles and dangers. The blessing is that He is with us always.” Like the images in our brains of oil-coated pelicans.

Everything you need to know about the war in Afghanistan...

you can tell by Gen. David Petraeus’s unconsciousness.

Today -100: June 15, 1910: Of street corner oratory and the perversion of faith and morals

A mob of white men in Darrington, Washington expels 30 Japanese working for the United States Lumber Company from the town after partaking of “much street corner oratory.”

The pope withdraws the encyclical that so pissed off the Germans, referring to Luther as “heretical” and Protestantism “the perversion of faith and morals”. Now the Vatican says it didn’t intend to insult anyone.

Today -100: June 14, 1910: Of the rights of citizenship, American intervention in Nicaragua (I know!), and typoos

Teddy Roosevelt, at long last returning to America aboard the SS Kaiserin Auguste Victoria, showed that common touch for which he is renowned, attending a Catholic service in steerage. He welcomed the immigrants to America, warned them against associating with strangers upon landing, and “exhorted them to be mindful of the duties of citizenship and to protect the rights of women.”

Nicaraguan President Madriz sends a letter to Taft protesting the actions of the commander of the US gunboat Paducah, who threatened to fight government forces if they occupied the port of Bluefields, effectively protecting the Estradists as they retreated from the town. Then he insisted that customs duties not be paid to the government, now in possession of the customs house, but to the revolutionists. Evidently some of the rebel ships are flying the American flag.

The NYT index I use for these posts is full of sloppy typos, or possibly mis-readings based on faded newsprint. A few days ago I enjoyed “German Protest to Pore” (Pope). Today the supposed first paragraph of one story reads: “Declaring that, he is willing to resign his scat in Congress if he fails to convince a fairminded committee that the Administration should be investigated with regard tao the sale of sugur lands in the Philippines, Representative Martin of Colorado introduced another resolution in the House to-day upon this subject.” That’s a serious threat, because you know how much Rep. Martin loved his scat.

Obit of the Day

A neurologist who helped coin the term “persistent vegetative state”: Fred Plum.

Today -100: June 13, 1910: Governor’s daughter stoned

A royal decree in Spain allows non-Catholic religious societies to display the insignia for public worship and other ceremonies (I’m not sure precisely what that means, but you get the general idea). The Vatican formally protests.

And a papal encyclical denouncing Martin Luther (in case the last three or four centuries of papal encyclicals denouncing Martin Luther hadn’t sunk in) leads to protests in Germany.

A referendum in the relatively new state of Oklahoma decided that there would be a permanent capital and that it would be Oklahoma City. The governor’s 17-year-old daughter cheered the outcome, but made the mistake of doing so on the streets of Guthrie; she was stoned. That is, stones were thrown at her. The state seal was “secretly rushed” from Guthrie to Oklahoma City in an automobile (Ms Haskell rushed from Guthrie to Oklahoma City by train).

Today -100: June 12, 1910: Of homesteads and savages

Taft opens up federal lands in Colorado and Wyoming to homesteading, to prevent Americans emigrating to the Canadian north-west.

Creepy Headline of the Day -100: “Japan To Wipe Out Savages.” The aborigines of Formosa. Okay, headhunters, but when one group of people is announcing plans to “wipe out” another group of people, a little self-reflection might be appropriate before affixing the word savages. Here’s the New York Times’s opinion: “As the Japanese appear unable to enter into any lasting truce with them or induce them to submit to civilization, there seems nothing for it now bu war to the knife, which means extermination of the wretches.” Or they could, you know, stop trying to colonize the Formosans’ land.