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The Republican Party leadership assembled, as is traditional, at the Tart Lumber Company (“Everything to Build Anything”), to solemnly issue a Pledge to America. It is as unserious a political document as has ever been put forth by a major political party at a major lumber company “Supplying Northern Virginia builders with quality lumber building materials and hardware since 1951”) in American history.
John Boehner is built out of quality building materials and hardware
It begins by denying the legitimacy of the American government. It’s worth quoting at length:
In a self-governing society, the only bulwark against the power of the state is the consent of the governed, and regarding the policies of the current government, the governed do not consent. An unchecked executive, a compliant legislature, and an overreaching judiciary have combined to thwart the will of the people and overturn their votes and their values, striking down long-standing laws and institutions and scorning the deepest beliefs of the American people. An arrogant and out-of-touch government of self-appointed elites makes decisions, issues mandates, and enacts laws without accepting or requesting the input of the many.
That paragraph accusing the majority party of being a dictatorship is followed in the very next sentence by a complaint about “a polarizing political environment”.
Was there a coup that didn’t make it into the papers, when those elites “self-appointed” themselves, possibly while we were all distracted by the World Cup? If the R’s can state as a fact that the elected (but unchecked) executive and the elected (but compliant) legislature are thwarting the will of the people, they must have some means of determining the will of the people that’s superior to democratic elections, and I can’t wait to hear what that is. Magic 8 Ball? Sarah Palin’s Twitter feed? If elections are now discredited as a means of ascertaining the will of the people, why should an election won by the R’s be accorded any greater legitimacy?
OH, I THINK IT CAN: “The need for urgent action to repair our economy and reclaim our government for the people cannot be overstated.”
They pledge to honor the “original intent” of the Constitution, especially the 10th Amendment.
PRIVATE? YOU MEAN THE MASONS, DON’T YOU? “We pledge to honor families, traditional marriage, life, and the private and faith-based organizations that form the core of our American values.”
WHISPER? OH, YOU’VE GOT THE VOLUME ON THE TV YOU’RE WATCHING FOX NEWS ON SET AT 2 AGAIN, DON’T YOU? “Voices in and out of government whisper that our standing as the world’s leader of democracy and economic growth is ending.”
CHENEY SECRET ENERGY TASK FORCE, RING ANY BELLS? “What’s worse, the most important decisions are made behind closed doors, where a flurry of backroom deals has supplanted the will of the people.”
They say they have a plan to “create jobs, end economic uncertainty... end the attack on free enterprise”. Did no one tell them that the essence of the free enterprise system is economic uncertainty?
They will stop job-killing policies and the job-killing agenda, job-killing tax increases, the job-killing health care plan, and job-killing mandates. They really like the adjective “job-killing,” is what I’m saying.
They also really like the adjective “common-sense,” as in “We must put common-sense limits on the growth of government”. Of course decisions on the growth of government are entirely political decisions, there is no such thing as a “common-sense” size of government. The phrase “common-sense” is intended to put their ideological positions beyond discussion.
THAT’S A BIG IF: “If we’ve learned anything over the last two years, it’s that we cannot spend our way to prosperity.” Unless we buy winning lottery tickets, of course.
Some details: Freeze net hiring of “non-security” federal employees; permanently end bailouts; end taxpayer funding of abortion forever; keep prisoners in Guantanamo forever. Every bill will “contain a citation of Constitutional authority,” and be put up on the web three days before Congress votes. Small businesses can deduct 20% of their income. A congressional vote on any regulation affecting more than $100m in economic activity. Kill Fannie & Freddie. End stimulus spending immediately (which would leave many projects half-finished, Kevin Drum points out).
PRIDE AND DIGNITY? HAVE THESE PEOPLE EVER ACTUALLY HADA JOB? “for our workforce, there is no substitute for the pride and dignity that comes with an honest day’s work and a steady paycheck.”
ALSO, “WHERE’S THE REMOTE?”: “The trillion-dollar ‘stimulus’ spending bill has made ‘where are the jobs?’ a national rallying cry”. That’s a really odd rally.
JUST LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY: “Washington’s out-of-control spending spree needs no introduction.”
THEY PROMISED WHAT NOW? “Instead of putting the brakes on Washington’s spending habits as they promised, President Obama and Democratic Leaders have...”
A FACT-BASED CONVERSATION: “We will have a responsible, fact-based conversation with the American people about the scale of the fiscal challenges we face, and the urgent action that is required to deal with them.” Will have, future tense, because as everyone points out, they aren’t willing to name a single program (except TARP) that they plan to cut.
DAMN THE ‘60s! “Earlier this year, House Republicans launched the YouCut initiative to combat the permissive culture of runaway spending in Congress.” I just love that use of the word permissive.
THE ONE THING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WANTED: “The American people wanted one thing out of health care reform: lower costs, which President Obama and Democrats in Washington promised, but did not deliver.” Just one thing, lower costs. Not access for the uninsured, not coverage of pre-existing conditions, certainly not single fucking payer.
AND YET THE MINORITY ALWAYS SEEMS TO WIN: “The House of Representatives continues to move further away from its roots as a deliberative body, toward a centralized power structure where the majority does whatever it needs to win at all costs.”
“We will launch a prolonged campaign to transfer power back to the people and ensure they have a say in what goes on in the Congress.” This prolonged campaign will evidently involve... wait for it... a web site. Power... transferred.
They will fight extending Miranda Rights to foreign terrorists.
Missile defense, because, oo, Iran, scary. Sanctions on Iran, which “has declared its determination to acquire a nuclear capability”. That is a true but wilfully misleading statement, which 90% of people will read as saying that Iran has declared a determination to acquire nuclear weapons.
We will “establish operational control” of the border, whatever that means, “and prohibit the Secretaries of the Interior and Agriculture from interfering with Border Patrol enforcement activities on federal lands.” I’m not sure what that means, but I’m going to guess it means that the border fence can violate environmental laws.
A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR JAN BREWER: “We will reaffirm the authority of state and local law enforcement to assist in the enforcement of all federal immigration laws.”
YES, BECAUSE REPUBLICANS WOULD NEVER DO THAT: “We will fight efforts to use a national crisis for political gain.”
The Japanese government denies that there was any plot to assassinate the emperor. But a bunch of anarchists have been arrested with bomb-making equipment.
A charter has been applied for for an institute to be established in Athens, Georgia to train young African-Americans in the culinary and domestic arts. It will be called The Black Mammy Memorial Institute.
Henry Neil, Secretary of the National Probation League, says that “if the right hand of fellowship were extended to burglars instead of the kick and threat, the world would be better, the penitentiaries would be emptied in a short time, and there would be no need of lock and key, bolt and bar.” So he’s had all the locks removed from his house, calling them “relics of a barbarous age.” The Times does not give his address (in Illinois, where he later became a judge).
Little Dorrit has died, or at any rate a Mrs. G. M. Hayman, whose family claims that Dickens based the character on her. They also say her brother, a cheerful cripple, was Tiny Tim.
Japan leaks the discovery of a socialist plot to assassinate Emperor Mutsuhito. The plotters will be sentenced to death by a special secret court. Supposedly, this is the only such plot in the last 2,500 years.
US ambassador to Turkey Oscar Straus has dropped plans to visit Russia, evidently because he was unwilling to accept the special passport necessary for him to visit St Petersburg because he is Jewish.
William Randolph Hearst responds to Mayor Gaynor’s accusations that attacks on him in Hearst’s papers resulted in his assassination. Hearst says the shooting must have affected Gaynor’s mind and regrets that “his experience did not abate his evil temper or his lying tongue.” Hearst goes on to make various insinuations about the corrupt forces allegedly behind the campaign to elect Gaynor governor. He ends politely, “I personally will not take advantage of your columns to criticize Mayor Gaynor politically, first because of his illness, and second, because his mental, as well as his moral condition, has eliminated him from political consideration.”
It seems like at least 50 people have been suggested as the “real James Bond,” but... Wilfred “Biffy” Dunderdale?
“Dunderdale, Biffy Dunderdale.”
Headline of the Day (BBC): “England Demand Apology From Butt” (the headline on my feed, not on the linked page). Something about cricket.
Ijaz Butt is probably a perfectly respectable and not at all humorous name in Pakistan.
Taft and TR met a couple of days ago, and talked amiably about whatever. Now TR is denying White House spin that he asked for the meeting, rather than Taft.
For a nice change of pace, some Italians are lynched in Tampa.
Netanyahu wouldn’t extend the settlement “freeze” for something as small as keeping Middle East peace talks going. But he would do it in exchange for the release of the spy Jonathan Pollard.
Obama held a “town hall” “discussion” in D.C. for CNBC.
HE’S THE REMINDERER: “But the thing I’ve just got to remind people of is the fact that it took us a decade to get into the problem that we’re in right now.”
YEAH THE QUICK FIX THING, LET’S DO THAT: “So there are a lot of plans in place that can make improvement, but it’s slow and steady, as opposed to the kind of quick fix that I think a lot of people would like to see.”
A lot of the questions were about why he hated rich people so much, including one poor woman who had to eat hot dogs and beans to keep her children in private school, and a hedge fund manager who says Wall Street feels like “we’ve been whacked with a stick” by Obama. Half of America didn’t hear any of the rest of the broadcast, just daydreaming happily about Obama whacking a hedge fund manager with a stick. The CNBC guy actually asked if Obama thought that “working for profit is morally inferior to the kind of work you used to do as a community organizer.” Obama says he doesn’t think that, although he so does think that.
GETTING YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR WHILE YOU’RE TREADING WATER: “Now, as I said before, what we saw happening during 2001 to the time I took office was wages actually declining for middle-class families, people treading water, young people having more trouble getting their foot in the door in terms of businesses.”
IS IT THAT DREAM ABOUT YOU WHACKING A HEDGE FUND MANAGER WITH A STICK? “So if we’re doing all those things, I am confident that the American Dream will continue for the next generation.” And then, pfft.
On the tea party movement: “I think that America has a noble tradition of being healthily skeptical about government. That’s in our DNA, right? I mean, we came in because the folks over on the other side of the Atlantic had been oppressing folks without giving them representation.” Should a black man in America, even one whose ancestors didn’t come over in shackles, be propagating that particular origin story (although people whose ancestors were kept in chains for generations by the legal system might also be said to have a healthy scepticism about government in their DNA)?
WHAT THE CHALLENGE FOR THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT IS (FINDING A PLACE THAT RENTS OUT FIFES AND DRUMS?): “And so the challenge, I think, for the Tea Party movement is to identify specifically what would you do. It’s not enough just to say, get control of spending. I think it’s important for you to say, I’m willing to cut veterans’ benefits, or I’m willing to cut Medicare or Social Security benefits, or I’m willing to see these taxes go up.”
TELL THAT TO SEN. TOM COBURN: “But you know what, the truth is everybody here probably thinks it’s a pretty good idea that we regulate the food industry, for example, so we don’t get E. coli and salmonella.”
OH GOOD, IT’S ALWAYS GOOD THAT ALL STUPID VIOLENT OPTIONS ARE ON THE TABLE: “We don’t think that a war between Israel and Iran, or military options would be the ideal way to solve this problem. But we are keeping all our options on the table.”
BILL AYRES? REV. WRIGHT? YOUR SECRET MUSLIM PAYMASTERS? “Now, I stay up every night and I wake up every morning thinking about the people who sent me into this job.”
SO WE’RE TOTALLY BONED, IS WHAT YOU’RE SAYING: “I have put forward proposals that are going to require bipartisan cooperation in order for us to get government spending under control.”
And then he went to Philadelphia and bought not one, but two Philly cheese steak sandwiches. The economy is saved!
Christine O’Donnell says of her having “dabbled into” witchcraft, “How many of you didn’t hang out with questionable folks in high school?”
Reached for comment, sheepish-looking former members of the Moorestown (NJ) High School coven said, “Ditto.”
Woodrow Wilson will confine his campaigning to a single speech in each county in New Jersey.
NYC Mayor William Jay Gaynor, in a letter to this sister which she gave to the NY Evening Post, accuses the opposition press (i.e., the Hearst press) of being responsible for his assassination by lying about what he said when he refused to ban movies of the Johnson-Jeffries fight (although he’s been avoiding reading or hearing anything about the shooting, and doesn’t even know the name of his assassin). The letter gives an extraordinarily detailed account of the sensations of being shot in the throat.
The cholera epidemic in Naples is over, according to the best scientific measure of the time: the blood of St. Januarius liquefied “in the presence of a great multitude.”
One of the soldiers arrested for the sport-killing of Afghan civilians: Cpl. Jeremy Morlock of Wasilla, Alaska.
The NYT editorializes against public floggings (a deputy marshal recently refused to permit the flogging in Alaska of 4 Japanese convicted of illegal fishing). Flogging is still used in Delaware against tramps, confidence men, thieves, highwaymen and disorderly persons. I guess that was before Delaware became the hq of all those credit card companies.
Famous British psychiatrist Forbes Winslow (who once offered to catch Jack the Ripper but Scotland Yard said no thanks) says in his memoirs that insanity is rising and “By a simple arithmetical calculation can be shown the exact year when there will be more insane persons in the world than sane. We in England are gradually approaching, with the decadence of our youth, a near proximity to a nation of madmen.” Did no one think to ask him what the “exact year when there will be more insane persons in the world than sane” was? That seems like important information to have.
Judicial temperament, Texas style: one candidate for the office of judge of Guadalupe County shoots a rival candidate.
The Illinois primaries were marked by a great deal of vote-buying (quel surprise), but it seems that while selling one’s vote is illegal in the state, bribing a voter is not.
The NYT welcomes the nomination of Woodrow Wilson, seeing it as another sign of the reformism that is originating at the state level. States are “proving their independence and self-sustaining powers. And they are shaming the slanderer [that would be Teddy Roosevelt] who has walked up and down this land proclaiming their weakness and his all-sufficient powers to rescue them from perdition.”
The cholera epidemic in Russia has caused 83,613 deaths so far.
The US is building a 1,000-mile barbed wire fence along the border with Mexico. The NYT says there should be one along the Canadian border as well, to prevent all the smuggling generated by Taft’s tariffs.
F.P. Greve and wife Elsie, German nationals who live in NYC, were arrested as “suspicious persons” in Pittsburg because she was wearing men’s clothing (I think that just means trousers) and smoking while strolling down 5th Avenue. They were later released (after threatening to call the German ambassador) and issued a letter saying that they were all right and that she was wearing the clothes only to keep up with her husband’s walking speed.
The pope is visiting the UK, which he says is under the control of “atheist extremism” and “aggressive forms of secularism”, just like the Nazis, and he met the Queen of the Godless. And the Duke of Edinburgh, who probably exchanged wog jokes with him.
So what did they say?
The pope told the British press that pedophilia, which he did so much to cover up, is an illness which robs people of their free will. So that’s all right then. He said that his priority is to help the victims (not the priests, victims though they are of this horrible free-will-robbing illness) recover and “rediscover too their faith in the message of Christ.” Don’t know why he thinks they lost it; they weren’t the ones raping children, they were the children being raped.
Woodrow Wilson, accepting the Democratic nomination for governor of New Jersey (offered by a party convention; no primaries in NJ), emphasizes that “I did not seek this nomination. It has come to me absolutely unsolicited” and that he has made no pledges or promises and is a “free candidate.”
Pres. Taft’s daughter Helen drops out of Bryn Mawr. No reason is given, but I can reveal that the reason is that her mother (also named Helen) had a stroke; I don’t believe the public knew of this. In a couple of years she’ll go back to Bryn Mawr to finish her BA, earn a doctorate in history at Yale, return to Bryn Mawr as a professor, eventually becoming head of the history department and dean.
The NYT claims that Taft has told friends, “I am not thinking of 1912; in fact, I don’t know that I care for a renomination. From the way things are drifting it may be that no Republican can be elected, save possibly one.” No points for guessing who that might be.
A letter is going around, supposedly written by Taft’s secretary, saying that while in the past Taft withheld patronage (post office and customs jobs, that sort of thing) from Republican insurgents in Congress in an attempt to coerce their votes for his legislative aims, the success of the insurgents in primaries and conventions has led him to reverse himself and he will in future grant patronage to all Republican congresscritters of whatever faction.
The Zeppelin VI. explodes on the ground in Germany after 34 passenger trips. Injuries among the ground crew but no fatalities. Still, oh the humanity, eh? It was capable of reaching speeds up to 38 mph. I’ve lost track of how many dirigible accidents have been reported this year, but it’s a lot.
Portugal expels Jesuits (I’m unclear on whether this is all Jesuits in the country, or just one monastery.)
Mrs. Alice Stebbins Wells,
a former settlement worker, gets a new job: first policewoman in L.A. (and near as anyone can tell, the US). “I suppose my chief concern will be with young girls venturing into unsafe places,” Officer Wells said. She had a male officer as a “chaperon” and no gun.
Opening Sentence of a News Article of the Day: “Any event featuring Jacob Zuma, virginity tests and more than 25,000 bare-breasted maidens dancing for a polygamous king is unlikely to pass entirely without incident.”
Goodwill Zwelithini, the aforementioned polygamous king of the Zulus, “condemned ‘rogue’ virginity testers” and complained about pictures of the virginity-test-a-palooza showing up on the internet: “I was shocked when I received these pictures on my website. I have no doubt these pictures are going to be used to attack this solemn culture of ours. This is a very important tradition and culture and needs to be conducted with dignity and respect without abusing and violating the dignity and privacy of the maidens.” Because nothing says dignity and privacy like mass public inspection of genitalia.
The Republicans want a chance to vote to make the Bush tax cuts permanent for all Americans, not just the non-rich. I say give it to them. Two bills. First up, a bill extending the tax cut for those earning over $250,000, then one for the rest. Everyone’s happy. If the R’s want to vote against the 2nd bill after the 1st one fails, let ‘em.
The NYT is not happy at all with the divided state of the Republican Party and blames Teddy Roosevelt, who “has detached a great part of the Republicans from their old faith and their old leaders, he has filled their minds and hearts with a romantic, unreasoning, unquestioning faith in himself and in what he preaches.” The Times harkens back nostalgically to the good ol’ days of unreasoning, unquestioning party loyalty.
In the New York primaries, women suffragists acting as poll-observers in NYC were arrested, were promptly released by magistrates, and returned to their posts.
The story refers to a “Democratic polling place.” Evidently the parties voted separately. Quite possibly the primaries were organized by the parties, not the state.
Headline of the Day -100: “Ear in a Bottle as a Death Threat.” Labor conflicts were so much more... colorful... back then.
The White House website reports on a phone call:
The President called Prime Minister Erdogan of Turkey just as the 2010 FIBA World Basketball Championship final game between the United States and Turkey was getting underway in Istanbul. The President congratulated the Prime Minister on the fact that Turkey has hosted an outstanding tournament. The President said he is rooting for the American team but that whoever wins both teams have played great basketball. The President also acknowledged the vibrancy of Turkey’s democracy as reflected in the turnout for the referendum that took place across Turkey today.
What a stimulating conversationalist (well, monologist, since Erdogan doesn’t seem to have gotten in a word edgewise) Obama is.
