Today -100: February 16, 1911: Why English-speaking people are exactly like bees

Mexican Gen. Navarro declares Juarez under martial law, shutting down all businesses, “including saloons and keno games.”

Secretary of State Philander Knox denies that the reciprocity treaty with Canada is a first step towards absorbing Canada into the US: “It is an ethnological fact that political units of the English-speaking people never lose their autonomy. Like bees, they give off their swarms, who set up for themselves independently, but they do not make political combinations among themselves.”

That’s a trick question, right?

At a press conference, his first of 2011, Obama, asked, “If we’re cutting infant formula to poor kids, is that who we are as a people?”

Caption contest

“So it’s just us presidents here – or ‘president’s,’ as the punctuation morons at CNN will probably put it – you can tell me: how many times did you drop Junior on his head as a baby? It had to be at least six, right?”

Today -100: February 15, 1911: Of Juarez and lukewarm water

Mexican federale Gen. Navarro arrives in Juarez with reinforcements (about 1,000 soldiers) from Chihuahua, unopposed by the insurrectos, who seem to be planning to leave Navarro isolated and bottled up in Juarez while they operate freely in the large area of the country he just left undefended. Now, if he tries to move his forces back south, they can easily block him by burning railroad bridges. Nevertheless, the NYT declares for something like the twentieth time that the Mexican Revolution is probably now “a closed incident.”

Johns Hopkins is evidently now using lukewarm water as anaesthesia for most appendectomies.

Over

Mitch McConnell says that Obama’s legislative agenda is “over,” but makes an incredibly generous offer: “to the extent that the president wants to do what we think is right for America, we won’t say ‘no’ simply because there’s an election coming along.”

He isn’t specific, but I’m guessing that Obama’s proposal to let poor people freeze to death is precisely the sort of meeting of the minds on “what we think is right for America” of which Turtle Boy was speaking.

Today -100: February 14, 1911: Of German troubles, and lords

Headline of the Day -100: “German Troubles in Africa.” Evidently there is “the possibility of a renewal of native troubles” in the German colony of South West Africa (Namibia). Poor Germans, always being put to the “trouble” of massacring Herero tribespeople (often described as the first genocide of the twentieth century, 1904-7).

The US issues a warrant for the arrest of Francisco Madero, leader of the Mexican Revolution, for, you know, revolutionary stuff. They think he’s in El Paso.

In Britain, PM Asquith will next week introduce a bill to reduce the current power of the House of Lords to vote down legislation to a mere delaying one (two years) (except for “money bills” relating to taxes, budgets, etc, where they would have no power to reject or amend). Of course since the Veto Bill hasn’t been passed yet, the Tory-dominated House of Lords still has the power to veto the Veto Bill. So Asquith is employing some not-so-subtle blackmail: if they reject it, he will have the king name as many new peers as it takes to change the vote, which would make the lords have to share the red benches with such riffraff as Thomas Hardy, Gilbert Murray, James Barrie and Bertrand Russell (who were on Asquith’s secret list of 249 possible Lord Whositses).

Today -100: February 13, 1911: Of lynchings, head-shaking, and elves

In a letter read out to 3,000 Sunday school classes, President Taft recommends teetotalism.

An 18-year-old black man is lynched in Eufaula, Alabama, for allegedly attacking a white woman.

When the Mexican insurrectos left Mexicali after a brief occupation last month, they said that if the federal government tried to resume collecting customs, they would return and burn down the customs house. It did and they did. American troops looked on from one block away, on the other side of the border.

Elsewhere, though, American soldiers arrested rebel leader Gen. Manuel Casillas as he attempted to cross from the US into Mexico, because he was carrying a rifle.

When asked if he would run for president again in 1912, William Jennings Bryan “sadly shook his head.” Which is not exactly a denial.

China is having a little outbreak of the Plague; Russia closes off border.

NYT Index Typo Alert: It’s not “THIRTY SCHOOL TOPICS.; Questions of Elve Importance Framed for Mothers to Discuss.” It’s “Live Importance.” (Because elves are mostly home-schooled, or sent out to work in Santa’s factories.)

Today -100: February 12, 1911: Of Lincoln, borders, miscegenation, radium, and executions

It is Lincoln’s birthday and, hey, it’s also (nearly) the 50th anniversary of the election of Jefferson Davis as President of the Confederacy. The NYT thinks that after all this time “we ought to be willing to leave the civil war to history.” It says that the South is no longer hostile to the North and the “occasional demonstrations of the sectional spirit” are only ginned up in order to pressure the states to keep paying pensions to Confederate veterans. “The new South, full of commercial and industrial energy, will not long pretend to mourn the failure of the Confederacy.” Not long, huh?

At a Lincoln Day speech, Teddy Roosevelt comes out in favor of the direct election of US senators and the president. He also says that “the Republican Party must be not only progressive but sane.” (So how’s that going?)

Congress rejects New Mexico’s demand for a revision of its border with Texas in its favor (the border was set 50 years before, but NM says there was a surveying mistake).

Nevada outlaws marriage between whites and Asians. Any minister or justice of the peace who performs one is henceforth guilty of a misdemeanor.

The Radium Bank in Paris, which I think sends radium out as needed to doctors and hospitals, is using more female porters because of fears that robbers will target the extremely valuable substance, which is after all the elixir of life.

Haiti executes two more rebel generals but promises to stop now after, as the NYT puts it in a sub-head, “Negro Government Informed by Washington That Execution of Prisoners Would Be Improper Act.”

Hosni goes bye bye

Just yesterday Mubarak was telling his “children” that he wouldn’t leave them, and now he’s buggered off to Sharm el-Shaikh for a packet of cigarettes and I don’t think he’s coming back. Bad daddy, bad daddy!

And what of his promise that, like O.J. looking for the real killer, “I will not relent in harshly punishing those responsible [for the violence against protesters]. I will hold those who persecuted our youth accountable with the maximum deterrent sentences.”

Personally, I’m glad he made the speech he did yesterday instead of the one Little Leon Panetta predicted he’d make, because I’d hate to think of Mubarak leaving with any more shreds of dignity than can possibly be removed from him, or which he can remove from himself by his own obtuse stubbornness.

Today -100: February 11, 1911: Of time, men of wisdom and experience, and Finnish fishermen on floes

France moves its clocks up 9 minutes and 21 seconds, bringing it into line with the rest of Europe – well, the Times says with Belgium, Holland, Spain and... England. Whatever.

Sen. Elihu Root denounces the proposed direct election of US senators as an effort of the people to shirk their responsibility to elect good state legislatures. He also worries about Southern states having power over their senatorial elections, for obvious reasons. And that many “men of wisdom and experience” would not be willing to undertake the work and inconvenience of an election campaign.

Evidently those Finnish fishermen did not drown.

Heads in the Sand

A Los Angeles city councilcritter who wants to mandate condom use in pornographic films says “We can’t keep our heads in the sand any longer.” Although if they did, it would be a pretty weird porn film. Just saying.

CONTEST I’M GOING TO TOTALLY REGRET, I JUST KNOW IT: What should the film’s name be?

Today -100: February 10, 1911: Of wet Alabama and prinking

Alabama is about to end prohibition.

Evidently, Wellesley students “lack prinking.”

Pursuing their own agenda

A few days ago, Hillary Clinton said, “There are forces at work in any society, particularly one that is facing these kind of challenges, that will try to derail or overtake the process to pursue their own agenda, which is why I think it’s important to follow the transition process announced by the Egyptian government, actually headed by vice-president Omar Suleiman.”

Yeah, it would be terrible if anyone tied to derail the democratization process in Egypt to pursue their own agenda, huh Hillary?

Telegraphing the punch

More news from Britain’s news leader, the Daily Telegraph:

Belgium has been without a government for 8 months. Socialist senator Marleen Temmerman calls “on the spouses of all negotiators to withhold sex until a deal is reached.” A Christian Democrat senator, Catherine Fonck responds, “I don’t want to take part in a sex strike. Politicians are not there to strike, on the contrary, politicians are there arouse the country.” Fonck is of course the Flemish word for a particularly naughty sex act. Okay, maybe it isn’t, but it should be.

The Romanian senate has passed a bill to license witches. They could also be fined or imprisoned if their predictions don’t come true, and would be banned from operating near schools and churches.

A British judge bans a man with an IQ of 48 from having sex.

Finally dispelling the rumors that they are actually the same person, Prime Minister David Cameron and David Hasselhoff meet.

Today -100: February 9, 1911: Of ostentatious watering and Finnish fishermen on floes

Night riders threaten Japanese working in orchards in western Colorado. The Japanese workers leave.

The Mexican minister of war says that the government attaches no importance to “the present seditious outbreaks” and that “Order will be restored within a very short time”. So that’s okay then.

Outside Ciudad Juarez, Orozco has his men “ostentatiously” water their horses (to show that the federales are unwilling to come out and fight).

The leaders of the recent rebellion in Haiti are executed.

Remember the 253 Finnish fishermen who refused to be rescued from an ice floe? Most of them drowned.

Front Page Headline of the Day -100: “Kaiser Has a Cold.”

Today -100: February 8, 1911: Of planes, sallies, recalls, and the elixir of life

The new Army appropriation bill includes $25,000 to purchase airplanes to patrol the Tex-Mex border to insure against violations of the neutrality laws by either side in the Revolution.

Americans (and Mexican nationals)(and American soldiers) gathered outside El Paso to observe a minor battle in the Mexican Revolution from the safe side of the Rio Grande. After the fight, in which the insurrectos under Pascual Orozco beat the federales into a retreat (there seem to have been no casualties), rebels posed for pictures.

The NYT notes that the rebels have no female camp followers but the federal troops do, because the Mexican Army has no organized commissary system. Rather, it gives a small sum to each soldier, who hands it over to a woman who forages and cooks for him, occasionally gets accidentally killed in battle, and strips the bodies of the dead. (However the NYT headline “Orozco Beats Back Sally From Juarez” does not refer to one of those camp followers.)

Seattle Mayor Hiram Gill loses the recall election, which is I believe the first recall of a mayor. The NYT attributes the result to women voters, for no good reason that I can see, although it is the case women did not yet have the franchise in Washington when Gill was elected last March. The first woman ever to vote in the state of Washington was a Mrs. Rebecca Hall, aged 80.

A French veterinarian claims to have discovered the secret of rejuvenation, the elixir of life, at least in the horses he’s experimented on: injections of radium.

There are a whole bunch of secular folks in Egypt

Before the Super Bowl, Barack Obama made his famous dip. No, sorry, he was interviewed by a famous dip.

Bill O’Reilly asked him when Mubarak was leaving.

“Only he knows what he’s going to do. But here’s what we know: is that Egypt is not going to go back to what it was.” Unlike Mubarak’s hair.

WHEN HAS IT EVER MATTERED WHAT THE EGYPTIAN PEOPLE WANT? “The Egyptian people want freedom. They want free and fair elections. They want a representative government. They want a responsive government.”

WHAT THE UNITED STATES CAN’T ABSOLUTE DO: “Well, you know, ultimately, the United States can’t absolute dictate – But what we can do, Bill, is we can say that, ‘The time is now for you to start making a change in that country.’” Again, and I can’t believe Obama needs to be told this, Mubarak is an illegitimate, unwanted dictator and he has no moral authority to make any change in Egypt except removing his ass from it.

NOT SUSTAINABLE: “But we’ve also said consistently said to him both publicly and privately is that trying to suppress your own people is something that is not sustainable.” 30 years and counting. It’s not the pyramids, but 30 years seems pretty damned sustainable to me and probably to Mubarak.

The Muslim Brotherhood “don’t have majority support” and “there are a whole bunch of secular folks in Egypt”.

He denies wanting to redistribute wealth.

He denies moving to the center.

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM FOR HIM: “The biggest problem for me is being in the bubble. It’s very hard to escape. You know, you can’t go to the corner...” Because bubbles don’t have corners.

O’Reilly broke the news to Obama that people hate him. Well, replied Obama, “The people who dislike you don’t know you.” O’Reilly interrupted to take issue with the word dislike: “They hate you.”

WHAT HE KNOWS: “Oh, I know football, man.”

Today -100: February 7, 1911: Of income tax, spies, fishermen on the ice, and race riots

The NYT opposes the proposed 16th Amendment for an income tax (whose ratification is about to be considered by the NY Legislature) as an idea from a bygone age “when it was still thought that the Government ought to do almost everything for everybody with the taxes which other people would pay. The time has arrived when people generally are preferring lower costs of living to the hopes of beneficence through taxation”. The Times suggests (rightly, for all I know) that the Amendment was part of a deal to buy votes for the Republican tariff bill.

The Spy Bill passes the House. It would make it illegal to make drawings or photographs onboard battleships or in navy yards or forts without permission, or to sell such information to foreign governments.

Russia adopts mandatory elementary-school education.

The NJ Legislature is considering Governor Woodrow Wilson’s reform proposals. Some of them: Direct primaries for governor & congresscritters. No one to be allowed to run for the Legislature unless they pledge to vote for whoever receives the most votes at primaries for US Senator. Ballots to contain the names of all candidates, replacing whatever system they have now.

12 black men and 3 black women are beaten and threatened with lynching during a race riot in Chicago by white people who objected to them moving into their neighborhood.

253 Finnish fishermen are swept out to sea on an ice floe during a gale. When ships are sent to rescue them, they refuse. Don’t ask me why.

Today -100: February 6, 1911: Of unrelief and beaten beaters

The Mexican government’s relief force arrives at Ciudad Juarez. Except... the soldiers had to ditch their train 10 miles outside of Juarez and by the time they reached the town, half of them were dead or wounded and they had abandoned all their supplies, including field guns, to fall into the hands of the rebels.

Oregon has abolished, after four years, the public whipping of wife-beaters.

Today -100: February 5, 1911: Of smoking, pulp, lions, auras, exercise, and dirty pilferers of words

The secretary of the Anti-Cigarette League goes to meet Massachusetts Governor Eugene Foss – who is a vice president of the League – to discuss the serious problem of boys riding in the smoking cars of elevated trains, and she catches Foss... smoking. Foss said later he had no recollection of having become the vice president of the Anti-Cigarette League. It’s all very mysterious.

Headline of the Day -100: “Muddling the Pulp Question.” Something to do with the reciprocity agreement with Canada, so who cares, I just like the sound of it: Muddling the pulp question.

The brother of British Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey is mauled by a lion.

The Persian Finance Minister, Sani ed Dowleh, is assassinated on the streets of Tehran by two Armenians. There has been much debate over what nationality of financial advisers the ministry should hire. Parliament just voted to hire five Americans to reorganize the country’s fiscal system, but Dowleh had wanted Frenchmen, and some wanted Swiss.

Dr. W. J. Kilner has photographed the human “aura.”



President Taft meets with 1908 Olympics gold-medal-winning runner John Hayes, and offers his views on exercise: he believes in it, but “great care should be used so as not to overdo it and destroy the good effects.” No one will ever accuse Taft of not taking great care not to overdo it and destroy the good effects.

An Ohio newspaper held a poll to select ten “beauties” to send to Europe. They are in France now. France is not impressed.

Rep. Robert Macon (D-Ark.), the subject of an article in the Washington Times about his failure to get changes in an agriculture bill, called the author of that article a “willful, deliberate liar, a dirty pilferer of words, a contemptible little ass, and a falsifier of facts” on the floor of the House. The author approached him, “at the same time removing his eyeglasses,” and said, “You have called me a liar and other things. I wish to say to you that you are the liar.” Sadly, they were prevented from duking it out.