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Oh sure, you had your gay pride thingies, but did they have El Colacho, a dude dressed as the Devil, jumping over a bunch of babies?
Well, they did at the Burgos, Spain, Baby Jumping Festival yesterday, as they have every Corpus Christi since 1620.
And did they have competitive snuff-sniffing?
Well, they did at the German Snuff-Sniffing Championships in Kucha, Bavaria Saturday.
Now if they only combined snuff-sniffing and baby-jumping...
Atlanta evidently has a serial killer. On each of the last six Sundays a black woman has been found strangled and mutilated.
John McCain tweeted this picture of himself and John Kerry at the Coca Cola plant in Cairo (the 3rd dude is the CEO of General Electric).
So that’s a McCain and Kerry at Coke in Cairo caption contest. Extra points if you continue the “comical K sound” theme.
A baseball game in Bloomfield, NJ was delayed for an hour on account of cock-fight. Two roosters happened to meet in front of the grand stand (maybe all baseball parks had roosters in 1911, I don’t know) and they got into it, as roosters will, so the 300 spectators as well as the players decided to watch that instead, betting on the result (the big one killed the smaller one).
I once saw a newsletter or program, I don’t know what you’d call it, from a trans-Atlantic passenger ship from about this time, which listed the various moderately famous people in first class (including Herbert Hoover, I seem to recall) and the various events and entertainments – fancy-dress ball, shuffleboard tournament (or whatever), and yes, a cock-fight. Probably no one thought twice about it.
Mexico has expressed some displeasure at the lynching of a 14-year-old Mexican by a large mob in Thorndale, Texas and the failure of Texas authorities to arrest anyone for it.
NYT: “Euphoria in a City Where Gay Movement Was Born.”
In Bucharest, a woman is shot dead for wearing a harem skirt by her boyfriend, who “had often expressed strong views on eccentric fashions.”
Alaska is establishing quarantines to prevent prospectors bringing in smallpox from Dawson City (Canada).
A former member of the Canadian Parliament, J.G.H. Bergeron, who is accompanying the leader of the Conservative Party on a tour of the West campaigning against the tariff reciprocity treaty with the US, has caused an uproar by comparing Canadian Finance Minister Fielding and US President Taft to Sampson and Delilah, respectively. The problem is that in this analogy, Taft is a giiirrrrl, which is horribly insulting. “The incident is causing an uproar among settlers from the United States, and riots in future meetings are feared.”
There was already criticism of Oregon Gov. Oswald West’s program of putting convicts to work on roads. So when one of them escapes, the governor leads the posse that recaptures him.
Over-Enthusiastic Headline of the Day -100: “Coronation is Most Splendid in All History.” George V’s. To crap novelist Marie Corelli, who wrote the story for the NYT, this over-priced spectacle proves that “England is loyal to the backbone, and Socialism no more than a ripple of discontent on a stagnant pool.” Supposed to be covering the coronation, she goes on and on about socialism.
A detective (private, I assume) for the NY County Medical Society went undercover to capture a rogue Christian Science practitioner for violating the medical law. The detective complained of a stomach ache. Julius Benjamin read her Bible passages and gave her a pamphlet. So she had him arrested.
Transcript.
9/11 in the first sentence. Very Giulianiesque.
U.S. MOTTO: ROUTING THE TALIBAN SINCE 2001: “In the days that followed, our nation was united as we struck at al Qaeda and routed the Tahleebhan in Afghanistan.” Just has to stress that second syllable, doesn’t he?
SPENT ENORMOUS BLOOD: “Then, our focus shifted. A second war was launched in Iraq, and we spent enormous blood and treasure to support a new government there.”
EIGHTH, ACTUALLY, BUT DOESN’T TIME FLY WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN? “By the time I took office, the war in Afghanistan had entered its seventh year.”
WHAT WE ARE MEETING: “Thanks to our men and women in uniform, our civilian personnel, and our many coalition partners, we are meeting our goals.” For some reason, he offers no proof of this.
So he’s offering to reverse the 2009 “surge,” i.e., to reduce the number of troops he has in Afghanistan to the number there were when he took office, by, oh, just about election day. “After this initial reduction, our troops will continue coming home at a steady pace as Afghan Security forces move into the lead.” A steady pace. Could mean 10,000 a year, could mean 3 a year. But at least it’ll be steady.
ALSO, LIFT AND SEPARATE: “Our mission will change from combat to support. By 2014, this process of transition will be complete, and the Afghan people will be responsible for their own security.”
TAKE OUT MENU: “Together with the Pakistanis, we have taken out more than half of al Qaeda’s leadership.” Although in the Pakistanis’ case, this means taken more than half of Al Qaida’s leadership to dinner and a movie.
OH, AND DID I MENTION LATELY THAT WE KILLED BIN LADEN? “And thanks to our intelligence professionals and Special Forces, we killed Osama bin Laden, the only leader that al Qaeda had ever known. This was a victory for all who have served since 9/11. One soldier summed it up well. ‘The message,’ he said, ‘is we don’t forget. You will be held accountable, no matter how long it takes.’” Way to spin the complete failure to find bin Laden for a decade as a sign of American perseverance, one soldier.
WHERE WE HAVE PUT AL QAIDA: “But we have put al Qaeda on a path to defeat”.
SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET COMFORTABLE: “This is the beginning -- but not the end -- of our effort to wind down this war.”
He favors “initiatives that reconcile the Afghan people, including the Taliban.”
WHAT WE WILL NOT TRY: “We will not try to make Afghanistan a perfect place.”
ENDURES & ENSURES: “What we can do, and will do, is build a partnership with the Afghan people that endures -- one that ensures that we will be able to continue targeting terrorists and supporting a sovereign Afghan government.” Forever and ever and ever.
IS IT AT THE END OF A TUNNEL? “And even as there will be dark days ahead in Afghanistan, the light of a secure peace can be seen in the distance.”
NOTHING SAYS “ANCHOR OF GLOBAL SECURITY” LIKE BEING ENGAGED IN FIVE SIMULTANEOUS WARS: “Some would have America retreat from our responsibility as an anchor of global security, and embrace an isolation that ignores the very real threats that we face. Others would have America over-extend ourselves, confronting every evil that can be found abroad. We must chart a more centered course.” Phew, for a minute there I thought he’d advocate one of those less centered courses.
WHAT WE MUST EMBRACE: “Like generations before, we must embrace America’s singular role in the course of human events.” This is just a badly written speech. Who inserted the latter phrase, from the Declaration of Independence, in a sentence about embracing America’s singular role, whatever that means. Is it anything like American exceptionalism?
AS PRURIENT AS WE ARE PRIAPIC: “But we must be as pragmatic as we are passionate”. Just can’t resist an alliteration, can he? Also, could Obama possibly be less passionate about Afghanistan?
“In all that we do, we must remember that what sets America apart is not solely our power -- it is the principles upon which our union was founded. We are a nation that brings our enemies to justice while adhering to the rule of law”. For example, we shot bin Laden in the head and dumped his body in the ocean, but adhering to the rule of law.
WHAT WE STAND NOT FOR: “We stand not for empire, but for self-determination. That is why we have a stake in the democratic aspirations that are now washing across the Arab World. We will support those revolutions with fidelity to our ideals, with the power of our example, and with an unwavering belief that all human beings deserve to live with freedom and dignity.” Unless they live in Bahrain or someplace with oil or US military bases, obviously.
WHAT WE MUST RECAPTURE: “And most of all, after a decade of passionate debate, we must recapture the common purpose that we shared at the beginning of this time of war.” Revenge?
HEY KIDS, WHAT TIME IS IT? “America, it is time to focus on nation-building here at home.”
Kept saying we need to end the war “responsibly.” Responsible to whom, he did not say.
Another Obama speech with no obvious purpose. If he meant to inform us of his vague timetable for troop reductions (what will the 2014 transition from combat to support mean for troop levels, when if ever will all troops be out of Afghanistan?), a three-sentence press release could have handled it. If he was looking for the active support of the American people for something, I missed hearing that call. I think the upshot was that the war is kind of slowly winding down – he actually used the phrase winding down! – so if we all stopped thinking about it and talking about, that would be okay with him, and it’ll probably all turn out more or less okay.
Taft pardons managers of the Jackson Lumber Company of Lockhart, Alabama who were convicted for peonage (i.e., keeping 186 foreign workers, Germans I think, against their will in conditions of slavery).
The US military’s rules of engagement in Libya “considers
the turning on of air-defense radar in a no-fly zone to be a ‘hostile act’”, to which it can respond with air strikes. Those air strikes, however, are not “hostilities.”
The NY state senate passes (27-2) a bill requiring all newspaper editorials to be signed by their authors. The bill’s sponsor had been recently attacked in an editorial for his opposition to women’s suffrage.
Zapata, in Mexico City to talk to Madero about the various allegations against him, says, “we are not ogres who ate raw babies.” Um... good?
Madero has appointed Zapata “chief of arms” of the state of Morelos, and the state of Morelos is not best pleased, given the whole “bandit” thing and Zapata’s rather rough tactics during the revolution and after.
Kiev orders the expulsion of 1,000 Jewish families, because they are not pharmaceutical assistants.
The US finally recognizes the Portuguese republic.
Porifirio Díaz says, “I have broken all the bonds which hold me to Mexico, and even if I were asked I would not return to take part in the politics of the country.”
In other news, no one is asking Porfirio Díaz to return to take part in the politics of the country.
Headline of the Day -100: “Fled From Sultan’s Wrath.” The vanished former dentist of the sultan of the Ottoman Empire, one Frank Faber, has been found. What happened was this: Dr. Faber was attempting to extract a molar from the sultan, but used too little cocaine. The sultan yelled, as one does, and Faber promptly decamped to Berlin, and just kept running. His wife, who he left behind in his haste, has finally tracked him down in Chicago.
Cleveland police charge and club striking garment workers who were threatening scabs.
The Senate is once again investigating the election-by-bribery of William Lorimer. This time they plan to do a less cursory job and will interview the entire Illinois Legislature.
Headline of the Day -100: “EYEGLASS WAR RENEWED. Optometrists Suspect Oculists of a Secret Attack and Plan to Resist.” You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?
In exile, Porfirio Díaz issues a statement about the Revolution, accusing the Mexican people of “ingratitude” and claiming that he abdicated to deprive the US of an excuse to intervene. He denies having been a military dictator, saying (I paraphrase), Did you see how crap the military’s performance was? In fact, he says, it was his recent liberalization that created the Revolution because it was seen by his enemies as a sign of weakness. So the lesson he draws is that he should have been an even bigger shit.
The mayor of Cass Lake, Minnesota, a doctor, is arrested for being the “head and plotting genius” of a band of yeggmen, following a shoot-out between two yeggs on one side, and police and Pinkerton men on the other. Dr. Dumas blames the charges on politics.
And opening today -100, a highly diverting bill of sprightly vaudeville:
Also of interest: wordorigins.org offers a list of words coined in 1911 (h/t Fritinancy), including brassiere, air force, floozy and hophead.
The sexism of Obama’s Father’s Day proclamation.
From various British news sources:
New Statesman: I haven’t read this, because I don’t really think at this stage in my life I need “Weinergate Explained,” but I just have to wonder if the NS couldn’t have found someone to write it who wasn’t named Cockburn.
Daily Telegraphy: Headline of the Day: “Israelis Call for Facebook Boycott of Cottage Cheese.”
The Telegraph reports on an important article in Acta Neurochirurgica, the official journal of the European Association of Neurological Studies, in which some big-time neurologists (I’m assuming) read through their old Asterix comic books and found the depictions of no fewer than 704 traumatic head injuries.
Independent: Scientific Headline of the Day: “Booby That Inspired Darwin Caught in an Evolutionary Trap.” Would you like to see a picture of a booby? ... Hello, new Google search readers:
Headline of the Day -400... no, wait, it’s evidently still -100: “Rat Plague in London.”
NJ Gov. Woodrow Wilson inveighs against the over-concentration of banking, which he calls the “money monopoly.” Such a monopoly must necessarily “chill and check and destroy genuine economic freedom.”
During the fighting in Mexico, the rebels executed a Col. Morelos. But there was some delay because they’d never run a firing squad before, so Morelos had to give them step-by-step instructions. It’s lucky he was there.
In response to congressional demands for a report on why the war in Libya doesn’t violate the War Powers Act, the Obama admin released a report (pdf) today saying the war in Libya doesn’t violate the War Powers Act. So that settles that.
In fact, the War Powers Act doesn’t even apply to this little contretemps. “Given the important U.S. interests served by U.S. military operations in Libya...” Oh, this war is for important interests, why didn’t you say so. “...and the limited nature, scope and duration of the anticipated actions...” Oh, is that what you anticipated. Incidentally, the limited duration of the anticipated actions was just extended by NATO through September. “...the President had constitutional authority, as Commander in Chief and Chief Executive and pursuant to his foreign affairs powers...” What foreign affairs powers are those? To appoint ambassadors, subject to Senate confirmation, to negotiate treaties, ditto, and that’s it. And as to his constitutional authority as Commander in Chief and Chief Executive and Chief Chief Chief, where in the Constitution does it say he gets to bomb any country he wants? “...to direct such limited military operations abroad. The President is of the view that the current U.S. military operations in Libya are consistent with the War Powers Resolution and do not under that law require further congressional authorization...” Further? When has there been any? “...because U.S. military operations are distinct from the kind of ‘hostilities’ contemplated by the Resolution’s 60 day termination provision.” Actually, the War Powers Act applies to “any case in which U.S. Armed Forces are introduced into hostilities.”
“U.S. forces are playing a constrained and supporting role in a multinational coalition, whose operations are both legitimated by and limited to the terms of a United Nations Security Council Resolution that authorizes the use of force solely to protect civilians and civilian populated areas under attack or threat of attack and to enforce a no-fly zone and an arms embargo. U.S. operations do not involve sustained fighting or active exchanges of fire with hostile forces, nor do they involve the presence of U.S. ground troops, U.S. casualties or a serious threat thereof, or any significant chance of escalation into a conflict characterized by those factors.” So it’s Vietnam 1962, not Vietnam 1966.
The argument isn’t just that it’s such a small war that it’s not worth bothering Congress’s pretty head about – compared to the currency our many “real” wars, it’s the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny bowl – but that it’s not real “hostilities” if Americans aren’t dying, only Libyans are, because wogs don’t count.
